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Me too!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by indysteel
If things go right, I should be big pimpin in my new motorhome and bringing my two dogs. I missed them so much while racing last year that I thought I needed to bring them with me from now on! Talk about spoiled!! :D:D:D:D:D
It sounds like you've had a lot going on. We haven't heard much from you on TE in quite the while. I certainly hope it's because you're too busy having the time of your life! :D I look forward to hearing a full update!Quote:
Originally Posted by TrekJeni
Woo Wee!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by indysteel
Where do I start?
I got "left" 13 months ago. Yep, awesome fiance of almost a year (dated for almost four, owned a home together for the last two) came home one day and announced he was leaving. One of those, "it's not you, it's me" things. He let me know that he wasn't in love with me and hadn't been in love with me in more than two years. I asked him why he decided to buy a house with me and ask me to marry him. He said he hoped it would make our relationship better. WTF? I had no idea we had issues!!! He let me know that out of the months and months of house shopping we had done, that he hated this house the most. Again, WTF? Why didn't you ever tell me? The man obviously had communication issues!
Now that the dust has settled I can see it a little better. At the time we started dating, we were "equals" in his eyes. This was a term I was not familiar with. After we started dating, I landed a dream job - great pay, great hours and great benefits. I was also doing great mtb and cross racing and sat on a few cycling advocacy boards. This was all after I met him and started dating and all the cycling related things were a direct result of us being together.
His family owns a bike shop that he manages. I know he was frustrated with the shop working the retail side of things and he had made mention of seeing what was on the other side of the fence. It was a lose-lose for me. When I encouraged him to discover his talents and just see what life had to offer (demo truck driver for the midwest for a major bike brand, etc) I was NOT supporting his family's bike shop but when he would come home complaining about issues at the shop and his dad's decisions on things, I would try to see it from his dad's point of view which was ultimately NOT supporting him..... again lose-lose.
We won't even get into how jealous he got with my social status! Oh why not, sure we will! We'd come home from a great ride together (see, I had no idea we had issues) and we would both post on our fb walls how awesome a day we had, he would hit refresh dozens of times waiting for a status update comment while getting pissed when people would comment on my status. "Can you check to see if my status updated, maybe people can't see it?", "why does everyone post on your wall and not mine?", "are you sure my status updated?" I couldn't win that battle either. Forgive me for being social and going to bike related parties and cheering on OUR race teammates while he wanted no part of it at all! I can't tell you how many times I heard on the way home from a cycling party, "I get so mad at some of those people! They just want discounts from me but they buy everything off the internet! F them all!!!!"
Oh yeah, I passed him during a mtb race one day and his wave started out a few minutes before mine did! One of the scariest moments of my life!
Although I really don't have an explanation as to what really went on his mind over the years, I think he just felt left behind even though I tried to include him in on every success I had. It's not really my fault that I'm friendly, kind, genuine, fun natured and able to roll with the punches is it? :D:D:D
So yeah, I was devastated. Didn't know how life was going to work out for awhile. Would I be able to afford the house being single? How was I going to make it? What if the lawn tractor broke down, who was going to fix it? What the hell am I going to do?????
I did an assumption loan on my house which basically took him off the house as though he never even existed. During the assumption process, I was given a very healthy raise at work and I started to breathe a little easier. While I would have made it without his salary, this raise allowed the ability to buy a new car and some other toys. (see, I'm a Dave Ramsey girl when it comes to spending money and was stressed out thinking I was going to have to live on rice and beans and beans and rice) I was going to make it just fine!!!!! All of my awesome friends rallied around me and were amazing. I will never forget how awesome they are. They'd call me up at all hours asking me to go eat, go ride, come over and bring me beer. Anything.
I had two girls come over and we single handedly installed beadboard to my living room and I now have the most beautiful living room encased in love and support.
I went on a few horrible Eharmony dates. :eek:
I then found myself being pursued by a fellow mtbiker that traveled in similar circles as I did. He had met me earlier in the year, looked me up on fb and saw that I was engaged. Drat. While he was hanging out at a bar one evening with another shop owner, my ex started talking to them. He learned that I was single. :) He happened to be at our annual elections / board meeting for the local mtb advocacy group I belong to and started talking to me. He then asked to be fb friends.
Our first date was March 13th. We live in Cincinnati but we're both frequent attendees of Ray's Indoor mtb park in Cleveland and we were there together. I don't remember that day really well as I came home with a dozen or so stitches, a concussion, slight amnesia and bruised molars. Landed wrong off a box jump. Whoops! :rolleyes:
Hell of a first date, huh? Well he's been awesome. Super supportive. Very talkative. Teaches me about my bikes. CLEANS my bikes and we have been unofficially named the cutest CORA couple. (CORA is Cincinnati Off Road Alliance) and we even both won our CORA mtb series!!!
So Indysteel - THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN UP TO!!!!!!!!
Dude and I have been racing all over the midwest together and the 2011 calendar is pretty much full already. Mtb racing starts in March and Cross season will end in December!
I would have to look at how many races I did for the season but raced 12 hours, 6 hours, a duo 24 hour, multiple short track races and XC, not to mention cyclocross where I managed to win 3rd place overall in my cat.
And yes, while this may NOT be actually cycling specific, I know I had some very awesome people who are on here that were concerned when I went away and considering anyone coming to the Midwest Women's Clinic will get to meet me, this is who ME is!
All in all, I think the one comment of the breakup speech that resonates with me the most is him saying, "I will never date another cyclist again, you stole my identity" I feel sad that he thought my successes on and off the bike made him lose himself.
I realize that I didn't STEAL his identity, that he was the only one that could get himself lost, I feel a bit sad that someone would so easily lose themselves while involved with such a positive, motivated person like me. All of my personality tests - Myers Briggs, Strengths Finder, etc) describe me as very driven, energetic, outgoing and positive. I'm also realistic and not very emotionally driven. I'm a "take charge" kind of person (ENTJ). I think my personality just wasn't a good fit with his.
Wowza! That IS a lot going on. I knew about the breakup, but only what you shared at the time. Not to diminish the pain it caused, but it sounds like you dodged a huge bullet with him. He just sounds like he projected every negative he felt about himself onto you. Obviously not what you want in a partner. I'm glad your new man sounds much more supportive. Men aside, it sounds you have a much stronger sense of your own strength and worth and have some wonderful friends. Good for you!
I signed up yesterday for the beginner portion of the clinic. My husband (a lot has changed in my life, too, over the past couple of years :)) and I are likely going to camp on Saturday night. He can play around on the trails while I'm hopefully learning how to avoid killing myself.
Looking forward to June!
Registration is now open:
http://www.bikereg.com/events/regist...?eventid=12065
...and Indy, you would have saved TJ all that typing if you were on FaceBook:D:p
No thanks. I already have enough time sucks in my life. No offense intended to those who use FB; it's just not my thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Bloom
;) understood...I admire your discipline:D
Check out our design for the 2011 event t-shirt! A huge thanks to Scott Spitz of 2 Pedals Photography for this awesome design! Don't forget to pre-order your shirt when you register for the event. Only 6 months and counting ladies!
http://www.bikereg.com/events/regist...?eventid=12065
Stay up to date with all the clinic news and information on our Facebook page. Join us at www.facebook.com/midwestwomensclinic
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._6959617_n.jpg
Oooh! I like that. I'm glad I ordered a t-shirt.
I'm all signed up for Sunday's beginner session!
Want to know who's coaching this year? All of our coaches at the Midwest Women's Mountian Bike Clinic have been certified through the International Mountainbike Instructor Certification (www.beimic.com). We are the only clinic in the U.S. to offer this! Every coach and instructor has been trained by two-time World Masters Downhill Champion and former Red Bull Athlete, Shaums March.
We strive to offer safe, responsible and effective guidance to riders of all skill levels, while also teaching the importance of trail etiquette, safety and advocacy. We feel strongly that our volunteers, coaches and staff will lead the way as advocates for safe, organized and responsible mountain biking.
Be sure to check out our complete list of certified coaches:
http://midwestwomensclinic.com/coaches.html
The Midwest Women's Mountain Bike Clinic is teaming up with Girl Bike Love with a new creative writing contest!
Ride ♥ Write ♥ Win
Contest winner receives:
~ Free entry to the 2011 Midwest Women's Mountain Bike Clinic
~ Free event t-shirt
~ Two free nights (Fri/Sat) at official event lodging (onsite and offsite options available)
~ Two hour private lesson with pro rider and IMIC Level III Coach, Tammy Donahugh
~ Tons of free stuff from our event sponsors!
Go to www.midwestwomensclinic.com/contest.html or www.girlbikelove.com for all the info and a chance to win!
Need a place to stay for the Midwest Women's Mountain Bike Clinic, but not sure you want to camp? That's ok! The Cornerstone Inn is now the official off-site lodging for the 2011 event! This beautiful 37 room bed and breakfast is located just two miles from the park in downtown Nashville, In. A 50% discount is available on rooms Sunday through Thursday and a 15% discount is available on Friday and Saturday night.
Give them a call to book your room and be sure to let them know you're coming to the Midwest Women's Mountain Bike Clinic!
Go to http://www.cornerstoneinn.com for more info or call 888-383-0300.
http://cornerstoneinn.com/art/home.jpg
NOTE: June is a busy time of year for Nashville, so be sure to get your room booked early to guarantee your spot!
Is it wise to attempt the mountain bike clinic if you've had a really bad spill on a mb that has made you deathly afraid of it???? Hmmmmm. I'd really like to be able to do some light mb'ing with my boyfriend as he LOVES it, but I'm still terrified.
I'll likely be terrified, too, so we can be in it together WR! If you want to get back on the horse so to speak, it seems to me that the clinic might be the way to go.Quote:
Originally Posted by WindingRoad