Bicycle Salmon, How I Despise Thee

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Originally Posted by nikkoblu2

I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

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O yes. But in a fantasy world they'd be a bit softer and filled with ketchup :D

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Originally Posted by lph

O yes. But in a fantasy world they'd be a bit softer and filled with ketchup :D

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Eggs.

(no, I would never do this...but I fantasize about it all the time - sue me)

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Originally Posted by nikkoblu2

Generally riding in NJ I don't find designated bike lanes - just the shoulder of the road. And I gotta say, I've lived in Jersey all but 1 year of my life and drivers here are uptight, in a rush and downright arrogant. So, depending on where you're riding there's a lot to pay attention to with traffic being as it is.

And when you throw idiots on bikes into the mix it gets real hairy. I ride around the Jersey shore on weekends. Between all the immigrant workers that commute to work on bikes and all the "kids" on beach cruisers, it's surprising I haven't gotten killed.

I will say the "workers" will always move out of my way usually going up on the sidewalk (not a good idea, either). But, the kids. They ride 2, 3, or 4 abreast on a wide shoulder of a busy street. No helmets, flip-flops on their feet. I put on my "get the eff out of my way" look, don't waiver even an inch and they get the idea that THEY will need to move.

DMC - I give you a lot of credit...when she tossed you that "whatever" you must have wanted to rip her a new one. I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

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I've been trying to figure out what to do with all the used tennis balls in my garage - I think I'll start a business selling them to irate bike riders! :p

Dealing with wrong way cyclists is something that I have to do all summer long. I generally try to hold my line but on Rt 26 where the designated bike lane is but 3' wide that is not a place to play "chicken." But I always ask "Why are you riding on the wrong side of the road? Don't you understand how dangerous it is?" Of course by that time I'm long gone and they haven't heard a word. Our culprits fall into two categories - the international students here for summer beach resort jobs and the retirees on their beach cruisers totally oblivious to their surroundings. I did have one of them yell at me first.... LOL! Occasionally I see someone fully kitted out, complete with helmet, headphones, on expensive bikes going the wrong way - and for the life of me I can't figure that one out.

Last summer I posted pages about the wrong way cyclist on the bulletin boards at the library, post office, and grocery stores but I doubt it had much effect.

Sometimes I feel like the salmon.

Where is the jersey that has the "wrong way" sign printed on the front. :p

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Originally Posted by Muirenn

I was thinking the same, in a way, but it would be pretty hard to convice someone you are a newbie while wearing spandex on a flashy bike. Luckily, or unluckily, there aren't too many cyclists here that aren't experienced riders, except for those on the sidewalks.

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Yeah, I'm fully roadie'd out, so unfortunately that gives me a few disadvantages. One being I look like I know what I'm doing, the other being (in the words of my husband) 'once you put on those bike shorts and cycling shoes, you instantly look like an a$$hole'. (I think I look like a sexy superhero. ;) )

I try to smile and be as friendly as I can, because the cycling community are usually immediately turned off by the roadie/tri contingent. A lot of roadies here are pretty aggressive and it doesn't make people want to listen to me if I throw out too much 'tude. So I try to smile a lot. Even an 'On your left' can get a hostile reaction from the cycling clueless, but if I sound cheery when I say it, it helps.

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Originally Posted by nikkoblu2

DMC - I give you a lot of credit...when she tossed you that "whatever" you must have wanted to rip her a new one. I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

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I always imagine stone cold, knocking someone OUT whenever they are rude enough to say 'whatever'. It is the MOST passive aggressive way to say 'F You'. It is a way of escalating a confrontation under the guise of backing off. Gah, I HATE 'whatever'.

If dudes said 'whatever' to each other the way chicks do, and with the frequency chicks use it...I think a lot of dudes would be getting punched in the mouth.

Here, we don't have bike lanes but we do have bike salmons. Unfortunately, they're usually migrant workers or old folks riding their bikes (sometimes with grandkids on them) on the road. In the wrong direction. Scary as hell but its not nice to freak out at an old person.

The one salmon that really took the cake was this dude, who was riding against traffic on a five lane road absolutely PACKED with cars, weaving back and forth across the lanes (and get this) while sniffing glue.

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Originally Posted by alexis_the_tiny

The one salmon that really took the cake was this dude, who was riding against traffic on a five lane road absolutely PACKED with cars, weaving back and forth across the lanes (and get this) while sniffing glue.

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Well, at least he had a good excuse to be clueless. (If not glueless). *snork* I need to go home... :D

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Originally Posted by DMC

It is the MOST passive aggressive way to say 'F You'. It is a way of escalating a confrontation under the guise of backing off. Gah, I HATE 'whatever'.

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Incredibly well put...maybe that's why I want to knock the living crap out of someone when I hear it. Ya think we NY/NJ girls need to learn to chill a little? Sometimes I wonder, but then I think how polite I am to people when they show courtesy and how apologetic I am if I inconvenience someone else with my faux pas.

Yeah...it's not us...it's them;)

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Originally Posted by alexis_the_tiny

The one salmon that really took the cake was this dude, who was riding against traffic on a five lane road absolutely PACKED with cars, weaving back and forth across the lanes (and get this) while sniffing glue.

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Okay, you win the salmon story contest. Sniffing glue? I want a "don't sniff glue" jersey.

Well, I didn't see this cyclist actually partaking of any intoxicants.

But he was up against the narrow concrete divider in the center of the Interstate highway in my town. Riding against traffic, not that that really mattered much in that situation. In an area with heavy traffic and several short on- and off- ramps set close together.

I don't even know how he was able to get there without getting flattened. I called 911 and never heard what happened, but it would've been in the news if he'd been hit.

We had one going the wrong way on a 6 lane road right across the top of the off-ramp onto the interstate the other morning. At the peak of rush hour. Without a helmet. While drivers were turning right all around him to get onto the ramp. :eek:

He did not seem to be sniffing glue, at least.

I literally had to keep blinking to verify that I was actually seeing what I was seeing.

I just encountered 2 salmon today on my ride 1 wasn't wearing a helmet the other one almost hit me when I wouldn't move over, kid(20 ish)thought I wasn't serious. I got mad, I yelled, I got over it, I wished a bad case of jock itch on him.

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Originally Posted by jelee1311

I just encountered 2 salmon today on my ride 1 wasn't wearing a helmet the other one almost hit me when I wouldn't move over, kid(20 ish)thought I wasn't serious. I got mad, I yelled, I got over it, I wished a bad case of jock itch on him.

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They are almost always NOT wearing helmets, aren't they? Some people just have a death wish.

I am seeing more and more salmon. First, it was just immigrants who are used to riding that way. But now, I see a lot of older people doing this. Well, older as in older than me :). My drive home from my internship parallels a bike path for about half of the way. I see a lot of horrible stuff when these riders are getting on/off the path, crossing a main road, to get into their neighborhoods. On Monday I seriously considered stopping and helping a couple who were riding the wrong way down Rt. 27 to make a left.
What gets me is when I see a parent riding the wrong way, with their kid following. Of course, the kid is wearing a helmet (usually on incorrectly) and the parent is not.