Well ladies, my first attempt at my ows was well, how can I say, embarrassing. I was so prepared and ready to do this. I practiced in the lake before the start and went over every pointer you had given me. I was ready! The horn blew, everyone took off, I stayed back by myself but there were still bodies, bubbles and limbs everywhere. I could only swim a couple strokes at a time without stopping because of the crowd and then I hit a mental wall. I froze and couldn't swim another stroke. I breaststroked a while and tried to go on but everything in my head was saying "you are too slow, you can't do this, stop, you are so far behind (I wasn't)." I waited a while, flipped on my back, looked at the sky, argued with myself but couldn't force myself to keep swimming. My arms and legs were like lead and I couldn't get my breath. I turned and swam back to shore. My dignity was crushed and I was so embarrassed I couldn't look at anyone. I was further than I realized when I stopped--almost to the first bouy--but it was a major mind blow to say the least.
The director of the race came over to check on me, was very reassuring and told me that this happens to lots of people. He also told me to run to cross the mat to TI after the last swimmer came in. I responded that it was cheating and he told me the experience was good and I needed to finish the race. I actually had taken my chip off and tried to hand it in but they insisted. So I waited on the last swimmer to cross and I followed a bit ashamed but glad that I did. The bike and run were good and I ended up having a great time.
I learned two things today: 1) I need lots more practice on the swim---I can swim the distance, I just lack the confidence; and 2) I can come in last on the swim and still not finish last in the race. I was strong on the bike (the new bike is awesome) and good for me on the run. My total time was 1:40
It was an experience to say the least but a good one. DH and training partner did great...DH took first in his age group and training partner took second in his. They were still proud of me even though I freaked on the swim and we had a great time. Thanks everyone for your support and help.

