I have the same problem. Usually if they fit in the thighs and bottom they're huge on the waist. Even in the jeans that are supposed to be for curvy gals.
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I think a person's skin reveals a lot, and will show signs of poor nutrition and stress, both of which impact my idea of what fit is. I also think posture is an indicator as to whether a person is fit. A strong core is my image of fit.
I WISH I had this problem! I carry my weight more like a man than a woman - outside of the obvious of course. ALL of my extra weight is in my stomach, and it has always been that way. No butt. Never had one, don't have one now, never will have one :p
So I try to focus on buying things that fit my legs, even if they are tight in the tummy - that is slowly going down anyway :D :o
I've been thinking about this entire fitness thing - while I do not yet consider myself "fit", I am certainly much more fit than I once was. I think I have to figure out what athletic fitness looks like rather than that razor thin image back in my mind somewhere that always pops up when I think of what fitness should look like for "me". I know it isn't THAT, too many years of Hollywood I suppose.
Fit for me is going to the doctor for a checkup at age 52 and having a resting pulse under 50 and a bp of 112/48. Then he says to me "keep up the good work. It shows. You have the pulse of a 16 year old." I no longer take cholesterol medicine and have never had issues with blood pressure or diabetes. I also quit smoking 5 years ago. I feel good about that.
I need to lose 20 pounds and I don't "look" fit but I feel it. It's being able to run up a flight of stairs some of my coworkers can't walk up, walk all day at a quilt show and not be worn out, and having an increased energy and confidence level. If you feel good on the inside, it has to show on the outside.
You can't explain to some folks how good it feels to climb that monster hill or run 10 miles. Maybe looking fit is that glow you have because you know what it feels like.
My BMI is 25.3...so I am technically overweight. But I also have cholesterol and triglyceride #s that make my PCP do a double-take (he said I have the best #s of anyone in his practice) and my BP is typically 100/60. So my yearning to drop 20#s is more out of wanting to look more fit and be faster on the run and on the bike. Health-wise I don't actually NEED to lose anything.
I knew you ladies would have some amazing insight. This is certainly an issue that I think about/struggle with. I love the tan lines one...that is great! I also love the knowing what fit feels like!!!