I wouldn't say they are more clueless, they are more oblivious perhaps, and Eden probably is doing a lot of riding in the dark! when you can not depend on a smile or a wave to be seen by a half asleep person on his/her way to work.
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The way I've learned- and through bike/traffic safety classes, is ride like you are a car- which would put me in behind a car in the lane going forward. You're much more likely to get clipped going between lanes or going forward in a right turn lane. Take the lane when you can.
I can answer regarding the second question.When I'm with my Cat Challenge training group we have to cross a highway like that.
After you've crossed the first set of lanes wait on the right side of the median area, just like a car would.
When it's one lane, I will sometimes scoot to the right and up to the front when the cars to my left are some-turning-left and some-going-straight, and the cars opposite are likewise. This puts me out front and visible instead of behind a car. However, at these intersections there are generally 2-3 cars going my way, so they are all past me by the time I'm through the intersection (unless they're turning left), so merging isn't a problem. There's one intersection where I would end up in the middle of a wide intersection on a yellow if I started from the back, 'cause the cycle is short... and I remember that Virginia chick who got creamed by a police car anticipating a green and accelerating before she had cleared the intersection (and then ticketing her for the hazardous materials -her blood, etc - that had to be cleaned from his car... but they did get rather bad press on that account).
However, for the most part I wait in line and would definitely do so in a group, where quantity makes us more visible. (Trying to remember when last I did that...)