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The right bike fitter makes all the difference. I heard great things about mine before I went. I agree that you should be able to go back in and let him know the problems you are having. My fitter told me to expect some possible discomfort as I get used to the new position, but to let him know if I have any problems. You are certainly having problems. However, I would still recommend getting a referral to someone who has a reputation for being a good fitter.
And, by the way, if you don't want to be in race position, then don't be in race position. Sounds like you already have your mind made up anyway. :)
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My local triathlon bike shop fit me and I was miserable. Even after going back for round 2. I went to my PT who is also a bike fitter and he got everything set up perfectly for me. In fact, when I get my new bike (someday) I'll have him set it up for me. Best of all, my insurance paid for it! (due to foot and hand pain and numbness from previous fit.)