It's human nature to get defensive when a spotlight is shown on something we really, truly, *know* we shoudl be doing better with. If you get mad you don't have to look at yourself.
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It's human nature to get defensive when a spotlight is shown on something we really, truly, *know* we shoudl be doing better with. If you get mad you don't have to look at yourself.
I don't face a lot of people who become jealous when I mention my cycling or eating habits. Actually, recently, the people I've talked with express how they want to become more healthy and I try to give them positive feedback on that decision. Hey any exercise, whether it be cycling, swimming, running, etc. is better than none and couple that with eating right, your health should improve.
The only people that give me any grief are my parents. My mom just starting riding with my grandfather, a couple of miles, pretty slow, everyday, which I think is great and she just started weight watchers. My father doesn't do anything because "he has no time"and eats and drinks whatever is the "best" also known as the rich fatty foods and alcohol. Whenever I see them and they ask about my cycling, of course I respond with my most recent adventures and what I plan on doing. They then compare me to one of their friends who supposedly competed at the top level and had a $10,000 bike that he just sold and all of this other crap. I've had enough of it. I'm not this guy (who by the way, have never met at any of the group rides or anywhere for that matter), I don't have a $1,000 bike and I don't compete (as of yet, but very soon I hope) and I'm not a pro; don't compare me to him. It's like they don't even listen to me, even though they asked about my cycling; they just want to look better. What the F!
Yes I think is was mostly jealousy and envy. I have the time and desire to get out and make myself and the world a little better. When I was leaving the salon, trying to get myself and my bike out the door without dinging my wet nails an older lady was coming in and held open the door. As I thanked her, she said to me in passing, "Good for you getting out and doing something!" It made my day much better.
My Mom passed away about the time I started to ride again. One thing she said to me literally on her death bed, was how much she regretted not keeping up her physical strength. Her weakened state did contribute to her death. She was so glad I was getting back into something I enjoyed and could continue doing as I got older. I will always carry that conversation in my heart and stay physically active as long as I can, for me and my Mom. bikerHen
Just be strong in yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by missymaya
It is hard when we don't get positive acknowledgment from family or friends.
We believe in you MissMaya... if thats any consolation.
I'm with uforgot. I also live in a tiny place and not many cyclists and no women. Even the lbs partner said once to another customer "There are 2 women riders round here - me and her"Quote:
Originally Posted by uforgot
But people love to see me on my bike. They know I love it and they know what I have been through. Everybody loves a fighter. Everybody wants to see you beat the odds (in whatever way eg illness, injury, misfortune).
That said, they don't necessarily want to do it their actual selves. I think it *does* provoke them to see what is possible if you really set yourself to achieve something and that frightens them at a deep level. Because it means they have no excuse for their own lack of achievement. So they say "Ah, yeah margo is weird/different/special. The normal universal laws of physics and energy don't apply to her for some reason."
Interesting discussion...
$0.02 payable to margo49 Swiss bank account number available by PM
That bit about margo and her unique energies is of course true at the level of quantumn physics and her frequent interactions with the Fabric of the Space-Time Continuum, but only Kits and I know the Whole Story. It is also Off Topic but I don't want to leave Kits a loop-hole to jump on me through
Thanks roadraoven and I do appreciate the support that this forum provides for me and all of the other people who ride for sport, work, exercise, or just good ole' fun:D .
I'm really glad this thread exists, because I thought it was only my family that acted this way. :D
I try very hard not to sound like I'm gloating or putting anyone else down. But, I guess it's hard for some people not to feel bad when I walk in the room just looking thinner and healthier, and they know it's cause I work hard at it and have made it a priority. It probably does make them insecure even though it's the last thing I want. I try to make it look like no big deal so they will feel like maybe trying it too. I definitely don't even brag or harp on anything, but it seems hopeless. Granted in my case it probably has more to do with the way I eat than the exercising, but they go hand in hand as far as I'm concerned.
So far I haven't encountered any hostility. What I have found though is most people are interested or curious. One of my (overweight) work colleagues who is only 26 years old is now thinking on digging his bike out from the back of the shed. Others start looking dreamy (reminiscing of the days of their youth when they used to fly around on two wheels).
I also think a lot of them are now contemplating cheaper ways of getting from A to B. The price of fuel here is nearly £4 per gallon ($8), insurance is sky-high as is road tax. That's not counting the cost of putting the car through it's yearly MOT test and repairs, plus the cost of parking.
Since I started commuting to and from work I've saved well over £100 which has gone towards the cost of my new bike.
Then of course, there's the all-important health benefits. I'm very slim anyway but my leg muscles are toning up quite nicely, I sleep sooooo much better and awaken refreshed instead of like something nasty out of Night of the Living Dead:eek: I'm better tempered too (I tend to be very fiery).
Perhaps some people are jealous - and a bit frightened. Some are just plain lazy.
I'm lucky. My co-workers pretty much accept the fact that I ride my bike, in much the same way that they accept that so-and-do drives that white car. No drama there.
My family just doesn't understand, but do accept. Mother, for example, called me a Ding Dong for planning to ride RAGBRAI this year, but there was love in her voice. My brothers want me to pack a gun along at all times. I just smile and tell them that I love them, too.
As I said, I'm lucky - and probably non-threatening. It's hard to take a fat old woman on a recumbent as a threat to anything.
People *do* tend to assume taht I am somehow physiologically different. (They already *know* I'm psychologically different ;)) Some of my longtime friends knkwo I did spend many years as a regular old fashioned couch potato, and I love that I don't really *look* like an athlete - love handles persist- ... but most people are sure that they just don't have "it" in them. You don't have it until you make the time to build it. Once you have it, oh my, you don't want to lose it!
I totally agree, Python! I am so happy at not having to use my car as much, and I LOVE how commuting makes me feel. I am SO much calmer, and I feel fantastic all day long.
As for me, I really want to get rid of my beer gut (having a significant other that I homebrew with for the past 4 years, plus a kegerator, has NOT helped), and keep getting healthier--stronger, faster, better! Plus, I already have awesome legs, and I want them to get more awesome. :)
And can I get an "amen" on the sleep bit! I agree, nothin' but sweet, sweet sleep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Python
Amen!Quote:
Originally Posted by kellichou
I am thinking, after an interesting thread on bikejournal, that I want to infuse my comments about biking on the roads to include that it's not just "hopping on the bike," because riding in traffic - even the relatively light stuff we have - is 'way different from tooling around as a kid. Lots of people think riding is so very scary - and sometimes it is, but often it isn't *because* I've learned how to do it and how to "read" traffic and ride as a vehicle.