Shall I step off the plane wearing a red bow? :p :) :D and clothes, don't worry.Quote:
Originally Posted by KnottedYet
and the drawn and quartered bear....yuck.
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Shall I step off the plane wearing a red bow? :p :) :D and clothes, don't worry.Quote:
Originally Posted by KnottedYet
and the drawn and quartered bear....yuck.
I've been married 16 years ,and for Valentines day we make a special dinner ,light candles ,and drink Champagne. My husband treats me like I'm his girlfriend ,he met for the first time (everyday). We don't take each other for granted. Usually we just get each other cards.
DH and I have been married for 18 years, together for 23. We give each other kisses and say I love you a lot....like every time we are saying good bye or hello. And we hug a lot, and sometimes dance for no reason to no music...and neither of us is any good at it. When we walk together (except for the morning commute, we're going for speed then) we hold hands. We talk a lot - about everything. We're not particularly romantic, but we are best friends and no that our love is not separable from either of us. Soul mates. But we're still practical. :p
If I think of any idea that's half as cool a romantic evening gesture as I've already seen posted, I'll add it. And I'll keep watching for the very best thing to give my honey on Valentine's day.....
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
Well spoken! And I have to declare those things a couple times a year since I work with my husband. I had to remind dh of two of the above just today.Quote:
Originally Posted by spokewench
We celebrate it on a whim. But my favorite thing I used to do was make a giant chocolate chip cookie and a homecooked meal. My close friends make love Lasagna every year. They cook it together and share with friends.
Just do something that really says i love you from the heart. Try to do it without money but your creative mind.
My dh and I have been together for 20 years we are celebrating by going to hawaii for it this year. We felt we deserve it after all this time.
I'm not married but we live together one year and we are in a relationship over 5.
here are the some gift I made for him
- 1000 origami birds (it is believed that that number of origami birds bring luck) and I wrote lovely notes on 50 of them and decorated our room with them
- I made white harts and glued a little red one in the middle of them and I decorated our walls with it. The whole house was filled with harts
- once I baked 15 pancakes (we make them very thin) and with knife I made them look like hart. In between I put chocolade so it was chocolate hartlike pancake pastry... unique, just like him ;)
And he made me one sculpture from bike weel. Inside it was filled with styrofoam and painted pink. He cut with scissors some letters and one hart from a bike tire (not inner part!). It is written inside... Ivana I love you with a little hart
Now it hangs in our bedroom :) to remind me how much effort he made just to make me happy
Haudlady,
As you can see, there's lots of ideas...the question is what is right. As I read the question, my first response is "it depends"...Believe it or not, after 23 years, I've learned that what is romantic to a man is not the same to a woman and vice-verse:rolleyes: :rolleyes: It's a shame it took me 15 years to learn it:o :o :o
But, Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages that basically says that there are five basic ways that people express love. They are listed on this page: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html Essentially they are:
- Time
- Touch
- Service
- Affirmation
- Gifts
The answer to your question lies in an assessment of your respective "love languages".
Unfortunately, we tend to "speak" in the language WE want to receive and not in the way that OUR PARTNER wants to receive. For instance, Silver's language tends toward "Quality Time" and "Acts of Service". Therefore, sometimes the most romantic thing I can do is laundry :eek: and to sit down and actually talk to her. Silver isn't high on gifts...so if I did that, it would be for naught...unless it has "Trek" painted on the side;) ;)
Anyway, I'm rambling...Good Luck
Thank you for the lovely thoughts. I really like some of these ideas (although I can just see the trail of Hershey's Kisses now... I place them carefully, my cat Baxter looks at them and 'replaces' them to where HE thinks they belong :rolleyes: - I would be finding them for months)!
I'm not trying to sound like I'm whining here, but it has occured to me that I am surrounded by people who are not successful in their marriages. Sometimes I think it would be easier if we had a 'model' that we could look to for advice and inspiration... do you know what I mean? We are trying, though, to create our own model. I guess we have gotten into the habit of not being affectionate enough... it's been nicer since we talked... we are, I've noticed, suddenly better at a little shoulder rub, a kiss in passing, a hug before leaving. Maybe marriage is one of those things which needs constant attention, and DH and I got lazy somewhere along the way.
A few of you have mentioned 'little things' that you do every day, or on a whim (completely unrelated to any designated holiday). Would any of you be willing to share?
A few thoughts...
Setting the alarm early enough that we have time to snuggle through two swats of the snooze.
Always kissing goodbye and good night.
The first person to leave for the day is always walked out by the other one.
Greeting each other when we get home at night.
Talking about our day and really listening to each other.
Thanking each other occasionally for the day to day chores we have each taken on. Thom irons my clothes, I make his lunch. He appreciates my cooking. I love it when he makes breakfast on the weekends.
Acting on the little requests. I casually mention I need an icon for some software. The next time I'm at the computer it's there.
Refilling both coffee cups, not just your own.
V.
Oooh, the coffee thing! That's a big one for me. Refilling both coffee cups, or making the coffee and bringing a cup over.
A relationship is a lot of work. No matter what. And there is always one person who puts more of an effort in then the other. I am sorry you don't have more positive role models around you. My dh and i are lucky we seem to have friends in normal relationships. And with that statement I mean they have their problems but nothing they can't handle. My husband is lazy in the romatic sence unfortunatly and sometimes I want it to be him that puts out the effort. Like Mr Silver said sometimes just doing laundry and sitting and paying attention to Mrs Silver is all she needs to warm up to him. I know when my husband does the dishes it really gets me hot (jk! thought that would be funny) no but it does make me feel like he cares. But I am still the one that makes him stop to give me a kiss or a hug and he is glad I stop him. I have a major tunnel vision man on my hands. The other day he was in some political conversation on line, didn't hear a peep out of him all day. I finally told him that night "You know I don't like it when you go away like that". He said he was sorry and that it was all for not anyway cause the person he was talking to was not going to budge on the issue no matter what he said. He snuggled with me after that. sometimes you have to be both people in the relationship to make it work. I believe in my dh and know he "goes away" sometimes. I pull him back every time. If I don't he might get lost! And he is grateful that I put up with him.
When we travel, I can't drink carbonated beverages before I get on a plane or I feel motion sickness. My husband usually remembers this before me, and buys me juice instead of anything carbonated. Just shows me he's thinking of me, even when I'm not :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Haudlady
When I go get water at work (we work in the same office), I always ask if he needs anything. Not only do I get a chance to see him, but I get to do something nice. When we eat lunch, we go back and forth on who has more time to actually make lunch -- sometimes I'm swamped and he'll do it, sometimes he's swamped and I'll do it. Sometimes we both need a break and we go out ;)
When we eat out, I spot things on the menu he might like to eat. I'm a vegetarian, he's not, but I point out things I know he'd like.
I try to encourage him in general. If I think he is good at something, I tell him. It might seem really simple, but sometimes he feels taken for granted, and by telling him "thank you" or "you did a great job on that" or "you're really good at that" it serves as a reminder that I really am paying attention ;)
There's always things we need to work on, but by paying attention to each other we have a constant reminder that we really are there.
The little everyday things:
When we walk into work, we hold hands (after 13 years of being married).
He wakes up first, and brings me a cup of tea.
My husband is from a very rural background. So, my husband goes hunting. I don't object.
I also learned how to shoot a rifle. Because he wanted me to.
Every once in a while, he sees earrings that he knows I will love, so he buys them and gives them to me.
Same with books!
He doesn't complain when he sees the bike stable growing.
And he does this, just because he loves me.
What do I do? I don't nag him, or natter at him. I appreciate him for one of the nicest, kindest, most intelligent, sexy, best looking man I know.
East Hill
Romance is something you can never lose touch with.
flowers, poems, kind words, sneaking up behind them and wrapping your arms around them, spontaneously dancing with them or whispering sweet nothings in their ears, curling up with them on the couch... they're all free, but they all mean great things when they come from the heart. The greatest thing you can offer your partner is something wholly yours... your time, your mind, your heart, your understanding. If you're not a poet, and they know it, sure you can try, and the effort will be appreciated, but if you have real skill in other areas, don't be afraid to take advantage of those. :)
That coffee thing made me have to edit. If you work similar schedules... *sigh* to me it's a 'must' to get up with my honey, even if I end up needing to go back to sleep because one of us works 1st shift, the other 2nd or something like that. Same with going to bed, if I just get home and she's got to shut down for the night, I'll curl up with her for an hour or two until she's well asleep... then do my own thing for awhile or just go to sleep despite just having gotten home. If you can't adjust your schedule around someone, it's going to be hard to adjust anything else around them. Always have to kiss goodnight or goodbye. Never go to bed angry. (yes, it eats into sleeping time, but I'd rather be tired but content in the morning than upset and well-rested) That and she could smother you in your sleep. ;) While you want to protect the ones you love; don't want them to worry too much, you have to remember that they're your partner for a reason. You support each other.
In love, actions will always speak louder than words.
...oh, and it helps to know how to kiss well. ;) It's an art. :D
Knot Agreed.
Trek Bows are nice... The best part of presents is unwrapping them. ;) *runs!*
A dirty .GIF ... because I'm a fan of gifts-with-strings-attached that way.
i suprised my xbf one year and every day while he was at work i took and cut out hearts of all sizes and colors out of construction paper. the bigger ones i wrote some nice things on, some memories, and some naughty things. ;) then i sent him out the day of v-day and taped them all over the bedroom, essentially "heart-attacking" the room. the small ones i put from the bedroom door up to the bed and all over the bed. there i had a big big heart with "i love you" on it. he loved the whole thing.
i also made some california rolls, which they were good, but i got a little carried away with them. we had to find people to help us eat them.
I once cut out a bunch of paper hearts, too. I had a key to my then-gf's truck, and knew where she was parked during class. While she was in class I got into her truck and covered the seat and dashboard with paper hearts.
I didn't write anything on 'em, though. that would've been a good idea!