Originally Posted by SadieKate
Warning, SadieKate is ranting again. A life lesson it’s taken a while to learn but made my rides so much more fun.
I think there are arguments on both sides of the waving issue. I also can get a little miffed over being ignored but I try not to expend anger and energy on it. I’ve realized over the years that everyone has their own agenda out on a ride and your expectations may not match up with the other riders’.
So s/he didn’t wave back? Were they perhaps lost in thought about a personal issue (such as a parent with recurring cancer or a child having problems in school). Are they riding sprint intervals and focused on maintaining a maximum pace? Are they chatting with someone else over a personal issue and listening to the friend’s response? Were they concentrating on a weird sound coming from their bike? From your car, do you wave at each and every driver on the road and expect them to wave back? The only time I see drivers wave at each other is rural farm roads. You do the one or two finger lift off the steering wheel and drive on. In the city (or on a crowded bike path), someone trying to wave at everyone becomes a nuisance and a danger because they aren’t concentrating on the congestion ahead.
My rides are so much more enjoyable since I’ve learned to laugh at people who actually look at you and then turn away but I don’t get angry or upset or call them names; they'd probably do the same thing in an elevator. I do call them names (and a-hole has definitely been the word of choice) if they do something unsafe which generally means they are riding the same direction as I. They pass on the right, pass too close, pass without warning, swerve in front of me, stop without warning, etc., etc., etc. Men and women are equally guilty.
This doesn’t mean you should stop waving but I hope you will become more sensitive to others’ agendas. As far as telling someone they should slow down and enjoy the ride more, why don’t you try a few rides with your legs screaming and your heart in your throat? Both have their place but you’ll find you can’t wave during the latter. You may also not be noticing the subtle finger wiggle from the bars. If you consistently expect more from me, I guess I’m an a-hole also. I fit the greeting or lack thereof to the circumstances of my chosen ride that day.
As far as the slams against men, both Mr. Jobob and Mr SadieKate are wavers par excellence. I’ve also been told by men that they are very careful about offering help to women because of the number of times they’ve been rudely snubbed. It’s a two-way street.
The upshot is, behave courteously but don’t get upset about a response that doesn’t meet your expectations. The other rider’s behavior isn’t necessarily wrong or discourteous but fits within their agenda for the day. Ride your own ride and find the zen of it.
PS - this in no way prevents me from maintaining the right to make sarcastic comments about people who look at you and then away, or wear earphones.