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I hear your frustration and fear and understand... I'll add the following two suggestions:
- Try a program like FitDay where you actually record all of the food you eat - it is an eye opening experience and makes me much more conscious of what I eat because I know I will record it. Ok, somedays I don't, especially on days when I eat m&m or a dove bar and really don't want to see the total, but then I get back to it... it's a gradual process and let's you see how much you are actually in control of what you eat
- Try putting notes to yourself in different places - for example, in the drawer where we keep the granola bars I have a note to myself that says "how about a piece of fruit instead?" I can't then be mindless about grabbing it, I have to think and consider my options. I'm not locked in to the options, just make myself think about them
I hope this helps!!!
One other thing - for those of you in the mid-atlantic DC area, the current issue of Spokes magazine has an excellent article by Nancy Clark talking about The Biggest Loser - I wish I could find it online... it's the kind of article that is good to read, and re-read periodically.
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Polly,
Please know that all of us here are very supportive of what you're trying to do! Having this group to lean on - a group who knows that it's a daily struggle - has been a big comfort for me.
Now, because this is text, and we are not two gals chatting together on the sofa, what I'm about to write may come across as unfeeling or unsympathetic, which is NOT my intent. Please understand that! Here goes...
No one can do this for you but you. All of the challenges you've had/have are part of who/what you are, but they don't have to control your life. YOU control how you choose to move through the world, what you put in your mouth, and what you decide to expend your energy on.
It is NOT easy. In fact, it's d@mn hard. Every single day, I make very deliberate and conscious decisions about every single thing I eat. I record everything - if I don't I'm only lying to myself, and what's the point of that? Not recording it doesn't mean I didn't eat it. Much like Veronica, I visualize the consequences of my eating choices all the time. "If I eat *that*, I'll have pleasure for 5 minutes, but will expend an hour on the treadmill to burn it off. Hhhmm, is it worth it?" Sometimes, yes, it IS worth it. Other times, no, that scoop of ice cream is not worth the effort required to burn it off and suddenly I just don't want it anymore.
Your mother, your ex, your car accident, your school schedule... At the point at which you are deciding "eat this or not?", none of those people/things are standing these beside you making you DO anything. It's just you and you alone. You have only yourself to fall back on. You have only yourself to be accountable to right at that moment. If losing weight, or eating more healthily is something that is important to you, you must find it *within yourself* to make the appropriate decision at that moment.
Making time for exercise is the same way. You must choose to prioritize it in your life. You have to be doing it for yourself, not because someone else wants you to, or cracks the whip for you.
It's very very very hard for me to drag my tired butt out of bed at 5 or 5:30 every morning to get my workouts in. But my life is such that that is the only time I have for it. I've decided my health and well-being are important enough to me that I'm prioritizing it. I'm prioritizing ME.
Sure, my yard looks like crap, and I should clean the bathroom more often than I do, and I really need to organize my home office, and I have a stack of mail that needs to be attended to... But something had to give, and I decided that those are things that I had to sacrifice in order to prioritize ME.
Because I'm worth it, dang it.
You need to decide that you are worth it. It makes every decision afterwards so much simpler.
I'm worth it.
YOU are worth it. Believe in yourself.
If we were sitting together on my sofa right now, I'd give you a big huge hug.
Susan
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Can we make that a group hug?
As one who has struggled with weight since childhood, and today am 100+ lbs overweight, I know very well what you're going through, too. It's a daily series of decisions. Some days I do better than others.
Since I found cycling, I have such a brighter view of myself, I can't even tell you. I have a better body image now than I did when I was 25 and my then-husband was asking me daily how much I weighed...over 150? Bad girl. No dessert for you. I'm not kidding. I understand about the abusive boyfriend.
It's been a really long road, I have to tell you. If only I'd been on wheels the whole time.
I'm checking in on the weight loss a day early because I'm traveling to Florida today and may not have Internet access tomorrow...
241!!!
Roxy
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Oh dear, I've fallen way behind on all this. You'd best count me out for the time being. :o
BTW, I've enjoyed all the posts from the last couple of weeks.
Here's a group hug:
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/grouphugg.gif
Best wishes on your goals!
Cheers, - Jo.
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Susan, your post was incredible. Thank you for sharing your insight. Perfect example of why online forums are wonderful- great words can reach more people!
Weighed in today- 133.5 Will have to be extra conscious of what I eat as I travel home for a holiday (and not just any holiday, one filled with TONS of easter candy). :(
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146 lbs! Back down this week.
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258.8!
Finally at the 25 pound loss mark!!
Tina
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Polly- There is a lot of excellent advice here. Try taking it bite by bite. Is there something you can cut out? Maybe cokes or sweets? My dad was told by the doc he was borderline diabetic he cut out his Dr. Pepper habit and poof lost 20 lbs. Some of us it isn't so easy but maybe you have a vice like that?
TXRed- Congrats!
Weekly weight: 140.5 but I feel heavier. These days are weird.
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Susan, your words are very inspiring. Thank you for your heartfelt words of wisdom and guidance.
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Back to 221 this week. I'm OK with that. The week one starts a new job is perhaps not the best time to try to cut back drastically. Next week, I focus more. At least I didn't lose ground.
CA
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153 :D
It actually was a little south of 153, but since I don't have a digital scale, It's hard to know the exact amount. I'm surprised I'm down this week, since I had a business trip the first part of the week--I usually gain a little weight when I travel.
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132 for me today. :)
Roxy - Group hug! Congrats on your steady progress.
txred - Fantastic! Crossing those milestones is very meaningful and motivational, eh?
CA - Best of luck with your new job. How exciting!
Seems like everyone is doing well and staying positive this week. I love spring, because it's so energizing. Makes me want spend more time outside running and riding my bike.
Susan
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Susan,
You are positively awesome. Your post to Polly was SPOT on and applies to each and every one of us. Thank you for your time and insight on this issue. I love this forum and though I do not post very often, I read it every single day.
As for me, I have had my 18 month old granddaughter here all week and I am up a pound, to 133! :( Ah well, no outdoor riding in three weeks has taken its toll on me.
Now, on to the food diary.
Thanks again for all you do for us, Susan.
