Dear So and So

Dear Dr. V.,
I know you have my best interest in mind, or at least you do not want me having another stroke on your watch. I get that and I appreciate it. I took the "no driving" instructions rather well, did I not? When I mentioned cycling 3 times and words such as "intense" and "training", what part did you miss? Is there a reason you decided not to share with me the very important (IMO) information that my already low BP would drop to points where I will faint? A little heads up on the fainting business would have been greatly appreciated. Especially considering I kept telling you how important exercise, especially cycling is to me. For the record, outdoor biking and fainting do not mix!

I am fairly certain down the road I will be eternally grateful to you for fixing my brain, but right at this moment I am too weak from a low BP and depressed from a lack of cycling to care.

Your grumpy patient.

P.S. See you on the 18th, when we will discuss cycling in depth.

(((((Jennifer)))))

dear out of town hunter,
your not in the city any more your in the bush, middle of no where, BFE. there is no need to speed around. most people when they see someone out running with dogs would so down. do you? NO. yes i have well behaved dogs (not that you know that) that stay next to me and sit, but what if they jumped up for one reason or another (you flinging a rock at us as you speed by) and get infront of the car? arg! the farthest you can drive here is a whopping 10 miles, your not going to get there any faster unless you fly. speeding down the road doesn't work. the roads aren't build for that out here and the speed limit is only 25 and less then that in 'town'. your lucky it was my boss that rented you that car or else you would've had a flying rock at you. you deserve more than just a kick in the shin too. just go home and leave us alone. we don't need 'your kind' here anyhow. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
a very angry runner with dogs.

dear community people,
thank you for slowing WAY down (at a crawl) and going WAY over on the other side of the road and waving at me. i'm glad i live around people with you who look around for the dogs even when i'm not out with them. you always slow down and wave so nicely.
your fellow community memeber

dear peanut (dog),
STOP ROLLING IN STIKEY STUFF. arg! i gave you a good scrubbing and you still stink! i understand you think you smell pretty, but really, you don't. (or is it your way of saying i need a bath?)
your loving mother

Dear Guys:

I realize that our club's membership reflects that cycling is male-dominated and that you get excited when a young-ish, single woman like myself shows up for group rides. But I am not chum. I come to the rides to ride, first, and to make friends, second. If you're cool with that, then great, but otherwise please stop circling.

And while I'm on the subject, you gentlemen at my local LBSs need to bone up on your manners. Please do not use the phone number I give you to place an order to call me for a date. Next time that happens, I'm calling your manager. And please don't comment on how wonderful I smell. I suppose I should appreciate the compliment, but it's unprofessional. I come to your store to shop, not to get hit on.

Thank you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by indysteel

Dear Guys:

I realize that our club's membership reflects that cycling is male-dominated and that you get excited when a young-ish, single woman like myself shows up for group rides. But I am not chum. I come to the rides to ride, first, and to make friends, second. If you're cool with that, then great, but otherwise please stop circling.

And while I'm on the subject, you gentlemen at my local LBSs need to bone up on your manners. Please do not use the phone number I give you to place an order to call me for a date. Next time that happens, I'm calling your manager. And please don't comment on how wonderful I smell. I suppose I should appreciate the compliment, but it's unprofessional. I come to your store to shop, not to get hit on.

Thank you.

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Dear Indysteel
I agree with you. What a bunch of jerks
enjoy it while it lasts but don't take any bs from them.

mimi who is twice your age :D

[QUOTE=mimitabby;130991]Dear Indysteel
I agree with you. What a bunch of jerks
enjoy it while it lasts but don't take any bs from them.

It's hard to know how to respond. I don't exactly have the general male population falling all over me and, having just gone through a break up, a little attention doesn't hurt my ego. However, there must be a way to be approached by men that doesn't leave my skin crawling. Why can't they just treat me as a friend and let it grow--if it's going to grow--from there? Oh, and the exact quote from the LBS manager was that I "smelled delicious." I about died.

Dear prospective employer

You had a pretty, friendly voice, and you sounded very nice, but if you're going to call me about the ...inter...w...p...ce...ss please, don't call me on your cell phone when all I can hear of your phone number is 5....3.....3...5....0... because now I'm climbing the walls freaking out that you want to hire me and I can't even call you back. My phone even recognizes you as 'unknown caller' so I can't even get your number that way. I'm sorry. I don't want to seem unprofessional, not calling you back, but I just don't have your number! My resume has my email address on it- please, use that! 99.9% of the time, I get the full email!

ok, sorry...
please call back.
Sincerely,
R....ie... N....m...

Dear Idiot Film Crew,

While it may not be the ideal way to spend your Sunday morning working, please be aware that to cyclists, Sunday mornings are the ideal time to ride...fast. So while I understand you have to work, I cannot fathom why your set-up crew would be carrying large items (i.e. conference tables, tent poles, camera booms) onto a popular bike path without first looking to see if anyone was coming.

Did you not learn to read while in film school? It's painted B-I-K-E-P-A-T-H underneath your feet. Every ten feet or so. The signs say "Watch for cyclists" at every crossing. Do you not notice that surfers stop and look both ways before crossing to get to the ocean on the other side? Did it enter your mind that setting down cables in the middle of a bike path is not a good idea? Probably not. Just because you are from the self-absorbed, narcissistic, adolescent-stunted fantasy world called the Hollywood Entertainment Industry does not mean that you are entitled to carelessly endanger the lives of other people.

To the out-of-shape smoker guy who walked out from a blind stairwell with an 8-ft. conference table... Just be glad that I'm slow and was able to brake in time to avoid a collision. Had it been a 20-strong elite paceline, your face would have found out how angry fit men can be when their $8000 bikes get trashed. Dumb*ss.

P.S. Pick up your trash before you leave.

Dear Dog Owner,

Please keep both hatches on the back of your SUV locked. It was very terrifying for my 13 year old daughter to have to fend off the attacks of your dog to our little pug. I realize that you were enjoying the baseball game and were totally unaware of what your dog was doing, but now you have instilled a fear of dogs in my daughter, who came home in tears. I only hope that it hasn't ruined our pug, who is very social with any dog she comes across. You are very lucky that no one was hurt. My husband and I would have had no problem tracking you down. Why would you bring your dogs to a lovely park for a ball game and leave them in the car, anyway?

Signed,
A Concerned Mother

Dear Husband,
Thank you for being so patient and cheerful when we ride together. I know you can ride way faster than me, get up steeper hills, ride longer hours. But you never ever speed ahead out of my sight, and you often ride behind me on purpose, often asking whether I want to ride in front or in back.
Today, I peddled up a steep hill that I usually go all the way into Granny gear for. But today I purposely went up that hill in one gear harder than the granny gear just to push myself. You stayed behind me on the hill, and I didn't think you would notice that little detail, but when we both reached the top, you passed by me and whispered "Way to GO, Sweetie!".
Thank you for telling me that when you bought your now 11 year old bike, before you ever knew me, you had dreamed of riding it along sunlit woodland gravel roads with the one you love, and that your dream had now come true.
Thank you for endlessly explaining the mysteries of BIKE to me, showing me how to fix and adjust a hundred things on my bike, and for never getting annoyed when I ask for the 4th time in a month which way we turn at that same intersection.
Thank you for being the best life partner AND the best biking buddy a girl could have.

Dear Municipal Bicycle Pathway Authority:

Thank you SO much for building the beautiful, paved bike path that you finished several years ago. Would it be too much to ask that you take a street sweeper to it once in a while to clear off the branches, rocks, broken glass, sand, and other miscellaneous crap so those of us with road bikes can use it again? Is it possible to maintain the surface to eliminate the cracks and grass growing from them?

Thanks again!

Your Community Bicycle Riders

Dear sweet, kindhearted dayshift lady:
There are reasons why I don't make a great security officer. One of them is that I'm just too trusting. A nice lady hands me a big plate of food from the potluck today, and I don't question it. Sure I look it over and give it a quick sniff test, but eh.
Lady, thank you so much- it was so good. Frozen dinners are $$ and I never seem to bring enough, so that plate of assorted potluck items was incredibly welcome. I miss the kind of hot dishes and pasta salads Mom used to make because of all the bachelorette kibble and pizza we've had recently and some of these ladies are just excellent cooks.
thank you thank you thank you!
-Officer Fox

Dear Mother Nature: thanks!

Dear guy at the LBS last night who asked me out after trying to impress me with his BMW: :confused: No thanks!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by quint41

Dear Municipal Bicycle Pathway Authority:

Thank you SO much for building the beautiful, paved bike path that you finished several years ago. Would it be too much to ask that you take a street sweeper to it once in a while to clear off the branches, rocks, broken glass, sand, and other miscellaneous crap so those of us with road bikes can use it again? Is it possible to maintain the surface to eliminate the cracks and grass growing from them?

Thanks again!

Your Community Bicycle Riders

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Dear Quint41. I have had excellent luck with CALLING the city of seattle and complaining about glass on the side of the streets where I ride. One time they cleaned it the very next day.
So call them! good luck
Mimi

Dear Fat,

I know I have welcomed you for many years. You have been a constant companion, and I welcomed your shelter. But I don't need you anymore. You need to move on, and promptly.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xrayted

Dear Mother Nature: thanks!

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Ditto

Ride today was sunny and started at 50 and went to 60 degres

Dear Powers That Be and Skinny Goddesses:
I don't know what I have done to offend you but not having lost any weight these last 3 weeks really sucks the big fat one and I'd really appreciate if you accept my sincerest apologies and grand me pardon so that the weight loss will again begin. I promise, if it tastes remotely good I will spit it out!

Oh and God, if you really are up there, thanks so much for everything you've given me. Even tho I am still a fatty by my standards I got it pretty gosh darned good.

Dear neighbors:
Thanks for the party.
Dear judgement:
Where WERE you when I was handed the 2nd jello shot of 151?
Dear girlfriend:
As purveyor of the poison, it's only fair you feel worse than I do, but I hope you feel better... sweety? dearest?
Dear former coworker: It was good to hear you went out, too, but bad to hear that you got sick, too... here. Yuck yuck yuck, I thought I got away from that.
Dear Ronald: Thanks for cheap cheeseburgers with assorted animal parts in them to quell my grease craving.
Dear stomach: thanks for putting up with the abuse. I mean it.
Dear butt/thighs/etc: Forget it. the cheeseburgers aren't for you.
Dear boobs: Why are you always the 1st to go AWOL when I lose any % of body fat?

Now that I have made the final decision to purchase my first long-distance-store-bought snake, please answer my e-mail, don't sell her to anyone else, and don't sent me the wrong one by accident!

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Happy Birthday to me!!

Nanci

PS, I already have a name picked out...

Tangent - and that name would be........?? And what kind?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nanci

PS, I already have a name picked out...

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nanci

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Happy Birthday to me!!

Nanci

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So you thought you'd just sneak that in there did ya? hehehe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nanci

Now that I have made the final decision to purchase my first long-distance-store-bought snake, please answer my e-mail, don't sell her to anyone else, and don't sent me the wrong one by accident!

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Happy Birthday to me!!

Nanci

PS, I already have a name picked out...

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So you are buying the snake for your birthday! Good!

The guy still hasn't written me back, after confirming I could buy the WRONG snake!! She's a Nelson's Milksnake.

Yeah, since probably no one else is going to buy her for my birthday, despite my demands- I'll do it myself!

She was bred in captivity, but in the wild they live in Nayarit, Jalisco and Michoacan states of Mexico- kind of central Pacific. I would name her Inez!

Nanci

Nanci-
I hope Inez makes a speedy trip to your home.

well even tho Inez (cool name BTW) may turn out to be NOT the snake you WANT, is any snake a WRONG snake? I paid for a chiwowwow, got a daschuahua, and love him every bit as much.......

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.............

Inez is very expensive. Well, probably if you put her in bike terms, she'd be about like a $1700 road bike- not a Huffy, but definitely just above entry level in terms of what _could_ be spent.

WAKE UP!!! READ YOUR E-MAIL!!

The other snake is a normal cornsnake, with some cool hidden genes. But I already have a normal. If I was getting another corn, I'd probably get a Bloodred Stripe.

WAKE UP!!

Ah the suspense. I am not good at waiting. Let us know what this person says about Inez. I do so hope she has not sold to someone else.

Dear co-worker:
Once again , you are promoting your changes to the test team at the last minute. Yes, you have spent all day testing the program. So what is first e-mail when I show in the morning: Same Programmer, same program, same problems, but another change:rolleyes: Well. I lied. They usually wait till the next deadline and then flood my in box. Such joy. Nothing like think thought your changes and consulting the users. As far testing, you do realize who actually maintains the test environments? Yes, that would be Moi. And don't forget not to coordinate your changes with us, so I can spend all day today redo all my work from yesterday:mad: Maybe I should dust off the old resume.

Dear US Voters,

Thank you for voting. I don't care who you voted for or what issues you voted on, I'm just grateful you got off your butts and voted.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KnottedYet

Dear US Voters,

Thank you for voting. I don't care who you voted for or what issues you voted on, I'm just grateful you got off your butts and voted.

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Here, here! Very nicely put.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KnottedYet

Dear US Voters,

Thank you for voting. I don't care who you voted for or what issues you voted on, I'm just grateful you got off your butts and voted.

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Roger that.
And to all of you (including me) who were able to ride your bikes to your polling place and did, WE ROCK!

dear brain,
shut up and relax. there is nothing you can do right now. enjoy whats going on now, don't worry about what's going to happen in the future.
thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chickwhorips

dear brain,
shut up and relax. there is nothing you can do right now. enjoy whats going on now, don't worry about what's going to happen in the future.
thanks

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I hear ya on that one!

Dear Maniacs on the MONON, GO AWAY!!!! I want to feel safe riding the MONON, not have to worry about thugs beating me and leaving me for dead or worse yet shooting me now that you're pulling guns on people! :eek: :( :mad:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chickwhorips

dear brain,
shut up and relax. there is nothing you can do right now. enjoy whats going on now, don't worry about what's going to happen in the future.
thanks

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I like the way you think. Take it easy, relax and have a nice vacation, CWR. You deserve it. ;) :D

thanks x i really need to hear that. :)

*sniff, snerk* is that Chanel? Eh! Do what you can to take care of yourself, hon, the rest will follow.

Dear Mother Nature,

Thankyou for the beautiful weather we're are having at the moment, but... we are in the middle of a drought, please send rain! Can you please send it at night or in the afternoon... I would like to be able to enjoy the beautiful spring sun on my morning rides.

Keely
in very dry Australia

Dear Mother Nature,

Please send Keely our weather. Thank you.