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Dear Half of Salt Lake:
HANG UP THE F****** PHONE AND DRIVE!
Better yet, get out of your car and see what it feels like to be a pedestrian or a cyclist trying to navigate the city.
(I apologize if this has been posted before. I couldn't find it and frankly needed to vent. I feel better now. :p )
Yellow, during my brief sojourn in your adopted city, I noticed how many people were almost exceedingly polite. You might wear a t-shirt while biking that reads: Talking on the phone while driving is rude! That should solve the problem pronto. :p Good luck with all that, though, really. We suffer from the same thing here in the Windy city. L.Quote:
Originally Posted by yellow
Dear A$$clown driving the minivan with license plate 1A GL686:
Yes, you Egg-McMuffin sucking, knuckle dragging Neanderthal*, I did get your license plate. Ya know what, so did the Ada County Sherrif's office. See the Boise area police departments decided to crack down on aggressive drivers earlier this summer. Particularlly the ones that like to tailgate, weave in and out of traffic, or cut people off for no particular reason. You fit the last catagory to a tee. As we were coming up to a red light, you had no business gunning the engine to get around me so you'd be the first one in line. You cut back into the lane so close that I came thisclose to ramming my front tire up your muffler. But yet you looked back in wonder as to why I yelled out "B!@#$" and the guy in the next lane honked at you? There were two lanes for truning left, you could have easily stayed in the far left one, as there wasn't any traffic over there. That's okay though. Just be aware that your actions are noted now and if you continue to drive like an a$$, one of Boise's finest may just be paying you a visit. Think again before cutting anyone off, especially a cyclist before she's had her morning oj! Have a nice f'ing day.
Signed,
The really p!ssed commuter
*Not that there is anything wrong with being an Egg McMuffin sucking, knuckle dragging Neanderthal! ;)
Dear Bratty 20 something that
scared the crap out of me when you passed me too closely on my way home from work yesterday.
it was really nice of you to say that you were sorry after I caught up to you and let you know that you didn't give me enough room but it really pissed me off when in the next sentence you dared to suggest that i should have been on the sidewalk.
Didn't you learn anything about street safety when you learned to drive, which had to be less than 10 years ago?
didn't they teach you to give the r ight of way to pedestrians and bicyclists
so you don't KILL THEM?
Would you have told a little old lady with a cane the same thing about being on the sidewalk?
Have you noticed what the sidewalks LOOK like on the streets where you passed me? Most of them are not safe for pedestrians OR bicyclists because of the blackberries, weeds and road debris on them!
What is a really handy feature of the sidewalks in our neighborhood is that they aren't even always THERE! So again, thanks a lot.
I hope the next time you pass that close to a bicyclist it's an aggressive male and he keys your car.
have a nice day!
mimi
Dear Potential Bike Date,
Did I scare you when I told you I have a child? Or are you just busy and haven't had time to answer my email? I'm going to go think positive thoughts and remind myself that I must be true to myself as I enter the dating pool for the first time, well, ever.
Realizingthisaboutmenotyou,
fixedgeargirl
Dear Fixedgeargirl
how crummy. Well, the good news is, if it's about you having a kid,
better find out now than later. The other good news, there's lots of really nice
guys out there well, not lots, but there are a few good men out there. Good luck i hope you find one soon!
mimi
If he cannot handle you having a child, he is not worth your time. It is best to find this out now. I know it does not help much right at this moment because you were looking forward to this and it still may be okay. If you do not hear back from him, then he was not deserving of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by fixedgeargirl
stupid bike date guy! http://www.smileycons.com/img/emotions/155.gif
Dear DGF's parents:
Hate to say it, but you have to grow up.
Your oldest daughter is almost 30 and still terrified of the thought that you might find out she has a gf. Is this your fault or hers? No real matter, but I admire how stringently your adhere to your religious and moral objections to others' rights and freedoms. Still, God so help me, when I feel ready and able to have a child of my own; if my dear little girl (or boy) decides to be (whatever their orientation might be) then I'll be happy for them as long as they're happy. I hope I never live to make my kids afraid to tell me important things about themselves and their lives. If I think I'm responsible and adult enough to foster another blossoming life, then I better d*mn well be responsible and adult enough to accept their lives as being their own, and their happiness as important to them first, regardless of whether or not it 'pleases' me, as long as they're not hurting themselves or someone else.
Parents like you prove the wisdom my mom passed on one night: "Everyone tries to do better by their kids than was done by them... I try, but I hope you take all your observations, wait til you're 30 so you know where you are, and then do the better by your kids- then send them home so I can spoil them."
DGF will be a brilliant mom...
but her kids will never have to be afraid of what they can or can't tell their mom.
-Best regards,
Someone who loves your little girl
Dear Student,
If you have gotten to your fourth year at this prestigious university and you still don't know the course catalog from the class schedule, you need more than a phone call to me (rather than your own advisor) to help you register for classes.
I am surprised you haven't flunked out yet.
Dear crazy rich lady in Santa Barbara,
Thank you so much for the kind words regardng my work as an equine artist.
Please be aware, however, that I work exclusively with horses, not dogs. While I am flattered that you are willing to double my fee to make an exception in your case, I am afraid that I cannot do so.
I am aware that you have lost a dear friend in your Shih Tsu. I, too, have grieved over a lost pet. However, I have never taken it so far as to have my dearly departed canine freeze-dried. Yes, I will take your word that Muffy looks quite real in her mummified sleeping position. I believe you when you tell me she doesn't smell. However, the thought of someone sending me their dead dog via Priority Mail so I can paint her likeness is, well... a bit morbid.
Might I suggest that there are better things to do with your time and money? Perhaps volunteering at your local animal shelter will help ease some of the pain in your loss.
Again, thank you for inquiring about my services. Perhaps we can speak again when you acquire a horse. Preferably a live one.
Warmest regards,
Joy
Dear Potential Bike Date,
Okay, so I'm a little antsy. Thanks for the return email. You are not frightened by my motherhood. This is good.
Signed,
Butterflies in my tummy
OMG, this sounds like something my husband (a chemistry professor) would have written. He will be pleased to hear he is not alone in being frustrated with students.Quote:
Originally Posted by mlove
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluetree
I have a recently departed hamster - well I say 'recently'...are you sure you couldn't just make one exception.....(sound of crazy laughter fading into the distance).:eek:
as a postal worker in my spare time, i would not like to see this come through the mail! besides if you were to make one exception, just this one time, wouldn't a picture work too?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluetree
and who in their right mind freeze dries a pet?
Be thankful you found out now that he's pond scum!Quote:
Originally Posted by fixedgeargirl
Around here, even grad students need to be spoon fed.Quote:
Originally Posted by mlove
Sometimes they surprise you by walking upright....
Years ago (like 30) a good friend of mine would send me a small dead clam from Maine to Arizona in the middle of the summer. Opening up a mailbox where it had been "cooking" for several hours...the smell would knock you over. I would beg her to NOT send the clam, and she would laugh & send it anyway. Always felt sorry for the poor postal workers who had to deal with this.Quote:
Originally Posted by chickwhorips
In defense of Fixedgeargirl's poor bike date:
Even if he were totally into her, he would have to be honest about whether or not he was ready for fatherhood. It's not *for* everyone. If he weren't honest about that but was terribly unhappy around/didn't know how to deal with kids, that would be far worse than his breaking off dating early on. Just b/c you can't handle kids doesn't mean you're necessarily pond scum.
Case in point, my gf wants to have kids sometime soon (is watching the clock tick) and sadly there are enough years between us that I'm too young to be okay with having kids yet. Does that make me a bad partner? Maybe, but I have to worry about my happiness, too. Give the poor guy a break.
dear TE,
please send my order out soon. it has my newest saddle i'm attempting to try and i really want to get back on my bike.
thank you,
ChickWhoRips
May the day come soon when differences in sexual orientation are no more important than differences in handedness. And when beliefs are shaped by human kindness and scientific fact.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsune06
HA! Thank you for that! Whew. I needed that chuckle. But now, the real question: Would you accept her dead, frozen horse as a subject? :eek: :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Bluetree
Joy, is your avatar one of your paintings? It's beautiful. Do you have a website of your work? (I promise not to forward it to any demented rich people.)
she can't ship it priority mail, so i don't think she would even try to send it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lise
Hear, hear. (I often use handedness as an example)Quote:
Originally Posted by DebW
Interesting trivia: 60% of lesbians and 30% of gay men are left-handed.
(according to a Canadian study done about 5 years ago)
Dear Goddess...
Thank you sooooo much for propelling me up the 4000 feet to the top of the mountain last Saturday. I wanted to do it, but had some doubts, so this was a nice surprise.
Now, if it isn't too, too much to ask. I know, I know - I'm always asking for stuff...
One day can I have a date? Somebody nice, smart, honest, sweet, funny, and adventerous who isn't afraid of a very opinionated, leftist, outspoken, feminist, often volunteering, activist, bike crazy woman. Looks are secondary, chemistry a plus, flossing a must :D
I wonder how that applies to ambidexterity?:confused:
That explains that ! my husband often says that he's really a lesbianQuote:
Originally Posted by KnottedYet
in a man's body! (he's lefty)
I think they divide it into right-handed and non-right-handed. So we lefties are claiming you for our team. I really wanted a left-handed child. All I got was two righties. And so far one is straight and one is undeclared. I can still hope.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsune06
Thanks Lise, I sent you the web site address vie e-mail.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lise
And yes, I have painted many dead horses... all from photographs taken when they were still alive! :D
OMG. Hate to say it, but 9/10 of men I have ever met and actually spoken to on the topic claim that as well. ...A man who likes women does not a lesbian with convenient attachments make. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
Um, Mimi? That's what my friend's husband of 25 years claimed. My friend ended up getting divorced from "Jenna," because she didn't want to be married to a 6'4" 260 pound lesbian.
Dear Livonia City Council
Thank you so much for protecting the crazy drivers from cyclist by having an ordinance so it's illegal for cyclist to ride in the road when there is a sidewalk present. Who know what kind of damage could occur to the vehicle if they were to hit a cyclist! I would think it could be extensive. It's nice to know that all the crazy, aggressive, impatient drivers in the city are protected from cyclists.
Also, I know Michigan recently dropped to the #2 spot of being the fattest state, so I thank you for doing your part to try and bring us back to #1. Hey, we need to get recognized for something, so why not for being fat. Forcing cyclist onto the sidewalk will definitely deter some people's motivation to commute and exercise.
I do have some recommendations though for you to make this a little easier and also to make a little extra money.
First, can you please start ticketing every single car that cuts off cyclist on the sidewalk as they wait to leave their driveways, side streets, etc? We're getting a little tired of slamming on our brakes every few feet because drivers don't realize a bike is coming to their left on the sidewalk
Second, can you please start ticketing all the cars that turn right on green, in the right had turn lane, and cutting off the cyclist trying to cross the street? Also, cars are constantly cutting off cyclists on sidewalks with all turns, not just at lights.
Third, please pass an ordinance to make it illegal for pedestrians to walk in the sidewalk. Think of the damage my bicycle could receive from hitting a person walking on the sidewalk. An impact of a cyclist going 15mph and hitting a person running/walking in the opposite direction could be quite severe. Anyway, isn't the grass there for walking on??
Fourth, can you please repave all sidewalks and make sure they don't continuously end in the middle of the grass? It really doesn't feel safe cutting into a busy road in the middle of a block, over a curb, because someone decided they didn't want to lay anymore concrete. Also, the sidewalk is extremely rough and damaged, it all need to be repaired. Riding on broken concrete just doesn't feel that safe.
Lastly, can you please tell the motor vehicles that I'm allowed on the road about every half of a block where the sidewalk doesn't exist? They seem to be getting a mixed message of cyclist being on the road at one point, then on the sidewalk, then on the road. Hmmm...not sure if they're motor vehicles are going to learn to share the road when you tell them bikes don't belong, just sometimes.
In summary, Livonia City Council, thank you for making my city the least bike friendly city around, encouraging obesity and road rage. Those cars really do need protection from crazy cyclists. I wonder though, how would a group of 30 cyclists in a pace line, cruising at 25mph, look on the sidewalk?? Look out joggers, there's a paceline coming through!!
Sincerely,
ROAD rider/Commuter
Salsa,Quote:
Originally Posted by SalsaMTB
If you take #3 out, (and renumber) you have an excellent letter that SHOULD be sent to your local newspaper AND to your city council. How pathetic!!!
(not your letter; the law)
mimi
NanciQuote:
Originally Posted by Nanci
you'd understand why I keep my confused partner if you read the thread "keep the bike and toss the wife" thread on bike journal. com.
He's Raleighdon.
m
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
Yeah, number three was a little tongue in cheek. It's a pretty sad ordinance. Our state law says we have the same rights as motor vehicles, but apparenly my city doesn't agree. I have personally never been pulled over, but yesterday a rider came into the store and told us he was pulled over by the police and told to ride on the sidewalk, so it is enforced lightly (no ticket was issued, justa slap on the wrist).
It has motivated me to try and get more involved!
Detroit, the Motor City. So are you going to run for City Council and change some priorities in your town?Quote:
Originally Posted by SalsaMTB
Salsa - Geez Louise!!! I'm about right stunned by that note.
Illegal to ride on the road when there is a sidewalk present???!!
Sorry but, what the F*#K?!
Then hey, we have to make room for all those gas-guzzling, polluting, destructive, urban sprawl creating cars and SUV's. Wouldn't want some johnny or janey getting in the way :mad:
that is really messed up salsa!
even though i don't live there it makes me want to write a letter!
stick it to 'em!
lol, one step at a time. I admit it, I'm not involved at all right now with local or state government. The whole process is pretty foreign to me, but there are cycling groups here who are active, so I want to start trying to get involved with them. Right now, I'm doing to research on the issue. It looks like someone requested it to be changed back on June 12. In the council meeting minutes of June 26, it says it was going to "refer this item to the Legislative Committee for its report and recommendation" and I have not been able to find any other information.Quote:
Originally Posted by DebW
It lists the names of people who were involved, who made the initial request, so I'm going to start making contacts. Since someone just got pulled over the other day though, it looks like it didn't pass. I would like to know why though!
Dear Margo,Quote:
Originally Posted by margo49
I know you mean well but quit spoiling my pleasure. I'm sure that the other medicinal benefits of chocolate more than make-up for the calcium issues.
SK
:D :D :D :D :D