The Emotional Rollercoaster of Menopause

Hi Gals,

I did a search and did not find any conversation on the emotional rollercoaster of peri/menopause. I'm in full blown peri now, and it's not the hot flashes that are a killer. It's the happy/sad ups and downs that are horrible. To boot the lack of sleep is not helping.

I would love to hear from you all about what you have gone through, how did you treat the emotional part (christmas, sometimes I can cry at the drop of a pin). As a happy go lucky type of gal, this is a really weird thing to be going through.

Thanks for your input!

Lisa :)

Oh, so sorry for you:( - I did have some moodiness, an understanding DH helped alot. The sleep - PHEW! Now that is a problem. I would do the longest, hardest workout that one year before would have me blissfully asleep a minute after my head hit the pillow. In peri-menopause, I would just lay there and wait and wait and wait. It was crazy. Fortunately (?) I was diagnosed with osteoporosis in my hips and put on Fosamax and estradiol to treat it. That was when I was 42. The sleep and moodiness got better right away. Good luck - tokie

I remembered this am - as I'm trying to wake up for a pre-dawn ride (ugh) that my GF- before I met her 2 yrs ago- had horrible peri-menopause. She couldn't sleep and felt like she was losing her mind and having a nervous breakdown. It was a vicious cycle for her too, feeling mentally out of control, exacerbated further by sleep deprivation. A visit to a new Gyn doctor helped, and she is on estrogen now - and feels back to normal, no mental unstability, and sleeps as well as can be expected for a woman with 3 teenage girls! ; - ). People will demonize you for taking hormone supplements, but sometimes it's necessary. Get in to see your doctor and talk about it. If there is no empathy, find a different doctor! Tokie

Tokie,

Thanks for your response. I surprised not more responses yet...I can't be the only one! I'm thinking I might have to resort to hormones, what your GF was experiencing, I feel her pain!

Lisa :)

I'm 41 and have no signs of any changes yet. Everything is as it always has been, well since I was 14.

I felt nothing at all during the years before menopause (and nothing during menopause either).

If I were you, I'd give some careful thought to whether your emotional ups and downs are a result of real-life issues that aren't yet in conscious awareness. That has happened to me a lot.

I'm very worried that women are being encouraged to shortchange themselves by focusing too much on hormones.

Pam

Yoga helps.
So does cycling. :p

I had much more difficulty with PMS, which got worse in peri-menopause. Other than that, I had hot flashes for about 5 years. I never let it bother me and just kept a water bottle on my desk, drank a lot.
Some people say that using bio-identical hormones that are compounded from natural ingredients is a safer route to go than synthetic hormones. You could research that option, too.

I remember about 30 years ago both times I was pregnant I would burst into tears at nothing during the first 6 months. One time I wound up sobbing uncontrollably over an episode of Lassie. :rolleyes: It wasn't depression for me, I was happy overall- but I would just burst into tears so easily!
I feel for you. All good advice so far.
I do think it's good to keep all possibilities open in one's mind. I know that I have sometimes been certain about some cause/effect thing that later I found out was not what I thought it was- leading to various good solutions I hadn't anticipated at first.
Good luck to you in finding some relief.

Itself, go to your doctor. I really thought I was about to lose my mind. Mood swings and night sweats were just awful. A few years on hormone replacement did the trick. I weaned myself off and have a few hotflashes, but nothing I can't live with. There is indeed much controversy on hrt, but it saved my life.

Oprah's been doing a few shows about hormones and etc. I like Christiane Northrop's book, The Wisdom of Menopause. Robin McGraw (Dr. Phil's wife) recently wrote a book about it, too (thus the reason for the Oprah episode). You can get some recommendations on Oprah's website. Say what you want about Oprah, I'm a big believer in getting information from many different sources. This source seems to be very pro-woman, pro-being an informed consumer of health care. It's a good perspective.

I also have this book, recommended by my doctor:
Is It Hot In Here? I think it was recommended by her more because it is her friend that wrote it, but still, it's a good basic book about menopause. I also have a book called The Change Before the Change, which I read about 5 years ago, so I can't remember much right now. It as helpful for identifying those early early perimenopausal changes that I might not have noticed otherwise.

Karen

Check out power-surge.com a peri/post meno website with a great forum. Lots of info on the main website and lots of real world experience in the forum.

http://www.power-surge.com/php/forums/index.php?
http://www.power-surge.com/

I was there in my early 40s, and the lack of sleep does affect your mood. Duh! I thought I could manage it on my own. ".... It's a natural process, our mothers, if they lived this long, survived..." NOT! This was about the same time the article about the side effects of hormone replacement therapy came out in JAMA*, and it just so happens we had a "lunch & learn" workshop on women's health at the office, the day before my annual check up with my OB/Gyn. I told him I flat couldn't cope with the waking up sweating, then waking up freezing 3 or 4 times a night. I could deal with the hot flashes during the day, but the nights I couldn't deal with, and be functional during the day. So we discussed the JAMA arcticle, the broad spectrum drug that the study used, and the more narrow HRT one he wound up putting me on, for 5 years. Well Hurricane Katrina came through, and chased off my old Doc - and year five was 2008. Last year New Doc (former doc's partner) put me on a 1/2 dose for a year, as I'd tried to go off on my own a time or two with a repeat symptoms. Her perspective is a bit different than his, quality of life, or rather being able to function at work is important, and with regular medical check ups the other risks (heart attack, stroke, cancer) were statistically very low in the study - so HRT is safe. But it is not long term therapy. So in a few months I'll have my annual check up and we'll see what she recommends - continue on the low dose daily, or every other day, or something. I suppose the final decision is up to me.

So, in short, I've been on HRT, FEMHRT to be specific for 6 years (5 yrs regular dose, and 1 yr low dose), and feel fine. No hot flashes, no night sweats. Am functional, or at least pass for normal :cool:

I should also mention I was eating right, getting regular exercise (better than now), and having trouble. So I tried all the non-Rx things I could before I got an appointment with my doc. With my family history of breast cancer, I didn't want to rush into anything. But he's the one that went to medical school. I miss my old Doc. Sigh. Damn storm.

*Journal of the American Medical Association

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I had much more difficulty with PMS, which got worse in peri-menopause. Other than that, I had hot flashes for about 5 years. I never let it bother me and just kept a water bottle on my desk, drank a lot.
Some people say that using bio-identical hormones that are compounded from natural ingredients is a safer route to go than synthetic hormones. You could research that option, too.

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I'll ditto this. Bio-identical progesterone works for me. NOT Estrogen. I'd recommend reading "what your doctor won't tell you about periminopause" by Dr John Lee.

I've been rotating through the symptoms for years, crazy for a while, night sweats for a while, a hot flash now and then, erratic and sometimes excessive bleeding for a while.

The craziest moment was when I had laundered the bathroom towels and forgotten about them. I called DH at work and screamed at him because the hand towels were missing. Now we can laugh about 'hand towel moments' but at the time it was far from funny.

I was diagnosed as fully menopausal at age 42. Ten years later, I still am treating hot flashes and sleep difficulties. My mood swings have clearly been related to the times when I couldn't sleep. Sleeping pills made me very groggy all day, so that didn't help. I now take 5 mg of melatonin every night and it really does the trick. An ice pack on the back of the neck makes my hot flashes go away instantly.

Two years ago I went on low-dose HRT and felt immediately better. Every symptom disappeared. BUT...after only 5 months I landed in the hospital with ischemic colitis...a very rare condition for someone my age. It is basically like a heart attack, except in the colon. The doctors immediately took away the hormones and I seem to be fine now. I'm grateful it happened in my gut and not my heart.

Everyone is different, but please do take the warnings about HRT seriously. If you have a family disposition toward arterial diseases, you're taking a big risk.

I also agree that hormonal symptoms are impacted by other things going on in life, so it's important to treat the whole person.

Good luck! You're entering a bold and wonderful time of life!

No hot flashes for me (yet), though I'm still menstruating at 48. Definitely in the "Perimenopause" though. My symptoms include sleeplessness, night sweats, worsening menstrual cramps, moodiness, and hair loss :mad:

The hair loss bothers me a lot. I've diminished the number of washings, diminished/nearly eliminated use of heat products, use good conditioners, etc... But each time I wash it I'm surprised at how much hair circles the drain. I'm not balding, by any means - but my hair is probably half as thick as it used to be.

I told my GYN and we checked thyroid levels (normal). I was reassured when I watched "the View" about a week ago and saw Barbara Walters lean over, exposing the top of her head. I could see her scalp, plain as day, under some very thin teased hair. I've read changing hormones can do it.

I've also followed the recent Oprah shows where they talk about it, including bioidenticals. I have my "beefs" with Oprah, but I have to admit I liked her idea of "starting a national conversation about perimenopause/menopause". This shouldn't be a secret that catches all of us by surprise.

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Originally Posted by DebTX

No hot flashes for me (yet), though I'm still menstruating at 48. Definitely in the "Perimenopause" though. My symptoms include sleeplessness, night sweats, worsening menstrual cramps, moodiness, and hair loss :mad:

The hair loss bothers me a lot. I've diminished the number of washings, diminished/nearly eliminated use of heat products, use good conditioners, etc... But each time I wash it I'm surprised at how much hair circles the drain. I'm not balding, by any means - but my hair is probably half as thick as it used to be.

I told my GYN and we checked thyroid levels (normal). I was reassured when I watched "the View" about a week ago and saw Barbara Walters lean over, exposing the top of her head. I could see her scalp, plain as day, under some very thin teased hair. I've read changing hormones can do it.

I've also followed the recent Oprah shows where they talk about it, including bioidenticals. I have my "beefs" with Oprah, but I have to admit I liked her idea of "starting a national conversation about perimenopause/menopause". This shouldn't be a secret that catches all of us by surprise.

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Deb, we sound very similar. I'll be 48 in April. I'm still having regular periods (sometimes closer together than they used to be). I have the same peri- symptoms you do, along with some forgetfulness.

I definitely have the hair loss as well. I've been noticing it, mildly for several years. Thyroid tests have been normal, though I haven't had it tested for a couple of years - need to repeat it this year just in case. This past year, the hair loss seemed to accelerate. Everything I've read says that it can be a very common part of peri-menopause/menopause. My mom also has thin hair -- definitely not balding, but thin. My hair looks a lot like hers now, where it used to be a lot thicker.

I found this article on hair loss on the Power Surge website posted above by ccnyc (thanks!) We are not alone...but it still sucks! :mad: :(

So now I'm wondering, by being on HRT, am I post-poning the inevitable? Still have a head full of hair, or what goes towards the drain is replaced by gray :rolleyes: and no extra hair on the upper lip... although I don't recall my grandmothers have much (then again they may have been tweezer queens). My last bone density was good too, and I am taking calcium supplements.

Thanks all of you for the great information. BleekerST Lisa, you got it, I am not depressed, but just burst out in tears!

Now the question, is the bioidentical the same as HRT? I set up a visit with my gyn for sure.

Ok, thank goodness, I'm not losing my mind! Us poor women!

Lisa :)

Oh also, my friend at work was put on Effexor (anti-depressant) to treat her hotflashes/night sweats that were keeping her awake, rather than HRT. It worked for her, but after 2 or 3 years, she figured she probably could go it alone, and get off of the Effexor. Well, she failed at that - quitting the Effexor caused her to have crying jags, so she went back on it. I've read about other unpleasant symptoms people have had when they try to get off of Effexor. (Joel Graedon, newspaper column "The People's Pharmacy"). Weird stuff! Tokie I too will be "weaned" off of my estradiol when I turn 56. (yea!) I tried to cut back to quit on my own a year ago (every other day dosing, then every third day,etc) HOT FLASHES! Next time I do it, Doc says I'll cut back to 3/4 pill for a few months, then to 1/2 pill for a few months, etc. I don't take progesterone (no uterus to protect from cancer). by the way, the woman I see slathering on her bioidentical hormones after her shower at the gym is now complaining of middle aged belly fat, just like many ordinary menopausal women. (and she is staying just as active as ever!) (and I saw the belly fat too, it's not just her) So it's not necessarily the fountain of youth that I believe Suzanne Sommers promotes with the "Wiley Protocol". ( kind of scary that a breast cancer survivor takes hormone replacement anyways, even if her cancer wasn't estrogen receptor positive, which I don't know, but doesn't it just seem like not a great idea?) Tokie

Now I am scared!
I think i have had off and on symptoms for years. I am 40. And it seems to me I have had this for a while. Night sweats sometimes. Moodiness beyond belief. Now what i have found that has helped me is magnesium. "Calm" is the name of what my certified nutrionalist friend has me on. And My Dr knows I am on it as well. And says it is a great remedy for a lot of people. And that after I talked to him he would probably recommend it for about a week then go back to his old ways. More so cause a lot of people want a pill. I take the calm with calcium. It helps you sleep and does help keep me calm. Calm is the best on the market. You find it at a healthfood store.

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Originally Posted by itself

Thanks all of you for the great information. BleekerST Lisa, you got it, I am not depressed, but just burst out in tears!

Now the question, is the bioidentical the same as HRT? I set up a visit with my gyn for sure.

Ok, thank goodness, I'm not losing my mind! Us poor women!

Lisa :)

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ususally the bio identical refers to progesterone ( at least in my case) which is another hormone that gets out of whack. According to Dr Lee, and by my experience, bringing the progesterone back into balance with estrogen will smooth out the ride. Think about it. Mother nature intends for you to have reduces estrogen as you age, why would you want to change that?

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Originally Posted by Brandi

Now I am scared!
I think i have had off and on symptoms for years. I am 40. And it seems to me I have had this for a while. Night sweats sometimes. Moodiness beyond belief. Now what i have found that has helped me is magnesium. "Calm" is the name of what my certified nutrionalist friend has me on. And My Dr knows I am on it as well. And says it is a great remedy for a lot of people. And that after I talked to him he would probably recommend it for about a week then go back to his old ways. More so cause a lot of people want a pill. I take the calm with calcium. It helps you sleep and does help keep me calm. Calm is the best on the market. You find it at a healthfood store.

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I have read findings that calcium not only calms the nervous system but helps you sleep and regulates the heart rhythm. Also helps prevent muscle cramps (in that muscle cramps can be a symptom of calcium/mag deficiency). Magnesium and calcium & vitamin D work together for best absorption by the body.

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Originally Posted by Irulan

Mother nature intends for you to have reduces estrogen as you age, why would you want to change that?

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Not saying changing it is either good or bad, (there are definitely pros and cons to this touchy topic) but one reason might be because 'mother nature' did not design the human race to live such long lifespans that we enjoy today, thus we now experience women-specific aging issues that people of long ago did not deal with as much.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...1231053AASrjsO
In the 16th-17th century, "a man or woman who reached the age of 30 could expect to live to 59". (This eliminates the distortion of the statistics by infant and child mortality.)
A woman back then didn't have to worry as much about osteoporosis in her 70's and 80's, for one example. She was likely already dead of something else! :rolleyes: It is shown that bone loss accelerates once estrogen levels drop off. So, just one example of why some women might be considering extending their hormone levels a few years more to take her through the menopause years. And yes, of course there are various ways we can all help prevent bone loss aside from taking hormones. ;)

I always had major PMS issues (heavy bleeder, mucho "I think I am dying" kind of pain and crazy mood swings). I am 44 now and have been in the peri-stage for a little over three years. The worst symptoms are the extreme anger I can feel and the horrid night sweats. I also did not appreciate that my periods started coming more frequently. A few months ago, I entered year three of the low hormone (birth control) pills my female OB/GYN put me on. I like not having periods and it helps my feelings of anger tremendously. I still have night sweats though - temp outside can be well below zero, temp in the house is 66 and I am kicking off the covers.

As this is year 3 of the pills, and based on the new study that came out, I would like to quit the pills or at least taper off after this year. In any event, my dr. has indicated she would not put me on them for more than 5 years. Assuming I might still be suffering the symptoms then, I hope to find a more natural way stop the sweats and not get so darned angry. Hard exercise has always helped and I do yoga, but my body needs more than this.

I'm just coming of a period of intense hot flashes. I've amazed and amused co-workers by suddenly turning bright red and dripping sweat right before their eyes. Then five minutes later, back to normal! This lasted for about three months. While the hot flashes were coming and going, no period.:D Now they have stop and my period started again. :mad: Go figure. I would almost take the hot flashes over my period.

I have been having less intense hot flashes for almost 10 years. I tried the bioidentical hormones last year. They did help with sleep loss and hot flashes but made me gain weight. So that was the end of that!

So add me to the list, of those with thinning hair, losing sleep and an internal thermostat stuck on high. bikerHen

My hair is thinning too, but the hair that's left seems to be running wild in the wilderness up there. The grays are crazier than their predicessors!

HRT scares me because in addition to the recent studies, my MIL ended up with endometrial cancer three years after starting on Prempro. It was kinda strange to me that her doc even put her on it because she was very much post-menopausal (late 60s) at the time and was not having hot flashes or any other symptoms. She stated that her doc prescribed them because of the osteoporosis risk from being a woman, and yet, she was not in a super high risk group for that as she ate plenty of calcium-containing foods, drank milk, didn't smoke, was overweight (which does keep the bones stronger, despite the negatives of it), and did weight-bearing exercise as well. Fortunately the cancer was found early, and after a hysterectomy and discontinuing HRT, she is just fine now in her late 70s.

Fortunately my mom says that she had a relatively easy menopause transition and did not use HRT, so hopefully mine will be the same.

"What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause" by John R. Lee.

Using the natural compounded progesterone cream really helped me with all my symptoms of menopause and it's something you really need to use throughout the rest of your life to prevent many cancers. Read the book it's all explained better than I can begin to.

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Originally Posted by bikerchic

"What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause" by John R. Lee.

Using the natural compounded progesterone cream really helped me with all my symptoms of menopause and it's something you really need to use throughout the rest of your life to prevent many cancers. Read the book it's all explained better than I can begin to.

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one of my docs loaded me the audio of some of his lectures... very informative, mesmerizing. No wonder big pharma hated him.

my doctor told me that they considered 2 years of HRT to be the max, i did that several years ago now. So i delayed my bones from thinning for two years, now they are thinner. My hair has never been great, but i haven't noticed any big difference. where I HAVE changed drastically, and I am telling you guys this despite the fact that i am shy and embarrassed. but the girly bit parts have lost the natural padding that used to be there and the actual quality of the flesh there has changed as well. i tear and bruise there so easily that it is ridiculous. It sucks.

Mimi, did you try the Estring? While it hasn't removed all of the problems, it has made it 95% better.

I was on hormone stuff for 2-4 years. How long am i supposed to take drugs that might cause cancer later? My grandmother lived to be 92. do the math!
(she didn't take hormones)

Isn't there a topical (cream) form of hormones that can help with this specific issue without having to taking oral pills, without having to be 'on' anything? In other words, it just treats a certain area topically and does not effect the whole body. I'm not sure but isn't there? I seem to remember it was developed for post-menopausal dryness or something.

Yes, that is what I am talking about. The E-string is a ring like used for BC pills. You get 2mg of estrogen over a 3 month period, locally in that area. It's such a low dose that it actually takes almost the whole three months to feel the benefit at first, although I noticed improvement after a couple of weeks. Of course, that's not saying that some doesn't get into your system, but the dose is so low that it is even prescribed for people who have had cancer. I was still having hot flashes when I got it and it certainly wasn't enough estrogen to stop those! I like it because you just put it in and leave it for 3 months and then get a new one.
Not only did it improve my sex life, but also cycling. I was at the point where I could barely sit on the saddle and the saddle wasn't the problem. When I went for my annual exam, my doctor was shocked that I lesions! She couldn't figure out why, until I told her right away, I knew they were from cycling with my thin membranes. She had never seen this before. Now she's a tri-athlete, so she's much more aware of this stuff.
I would not take HRT for this, but this has been a good alternative for me.

I'm sure localized applications are way safer than oral hormones, but there's going to be some systemic effect from any hormones. There's a thread going on right now about someone who had systemic side effects from cortisone injections in her joints. Most of the OTC "bioidentical" hormones are applied on the skin and meant to have systemic effects.

The whole thing scares me, especially after this summer. I'd used the progesterone cream on and off during perimenopause, and now I don't know whether that caused the cell proliferation, slowed it, or had no effect. :confused::confused: Osteoporosis is one thing, but menopausal symptoms would have to be really, really awful for me to consider hormones again.

There are also some homeopathic preparations that don't contain hormones, but are meant to stimulate the body to produce more of its own. I don't know anything about those, but it's maybe something to consider.

when i do my next appt i will talk to my dr. thanks

I'm only 47 and have only mild symptoms of perimenopause (no hot flashes, just trouble sleeping and an extra period a year). But I have been wondering about the problem Mimi described...I was thinking it was because I lost those 45 lbs., but I never had the "abrasion" issue when I was young and thin. I rode my bike last week and my Brooks really hurt when I "forgot" how I was supposed to sit on it for the first few feet! yi-yi-yi.

I'll have to ask my doc about it when I go.

Karen

Tuckerville, don't put it off, like I did. I had about 3 years of suffering with the thinning and dryness and i suffered like heck. It was right when I started riding over 2,000 miles a year and it almost stopped me from riding, let alone the sex aspect...

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Originally Posted by emily_in_nc

Deb, we sound very similar. I'll be 48 in April. I'm still having regular periods (sometimes closer together than they used to be). I have the same peri- symptoms you do, along with some forgetfulness.

I found this article on hair loss on the Power Surge website posted above by ccnyc (thanks!) We are not alone...but it still sucks! :mad: :(

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Thanks for posting the article - it's always reassuring to see you're not losing your mind!

I'd never seen the Power Surge website before so it was quite an experience to poke around a bit. Funny thing is, I didn't feel "better" after reading it (as I often do at TE). I actually felt a bit worried :(

In some ways, I liked thinking, "Oh, its just a bad day," (or a bad couple days...) But to read those posts, I'm starting to see that there could be a real 'change' going on these last few years that I'd been assuming was just a series of 'bad days.' I read posts from women discussing symptoms beyond the physical on that website (short temperedness, career uncertainty) - and I recognized many of them! And even here, it wasn't until someone mentioned it - but I realized, "yes, things ARE thinning out down there!" I think some of the fat pads, collagen, whatever is missing! I actually thought it was from the "stress" of my bike saddle (or from waxing!)

So, I'm kind of in yikes mode right now :eek::eek::eek: Thankfully, most of the women say the symptoms ease up after menopause finally arrives, but eek, there might be 5+ years of this.

Can somebody help me put a positive spin on this? :confused: