Ooopsss! Wrong ride!

So, I go for a group ride on Saturday.

At the starting point, 2 different groups meet up. 1 group is the fast one that averages 16-18 mph (last year, when I tried to ride with them, I averaged 17 mph and could barely see the last rider!), and the other group is the distance builder that averages 13-16 mph.

We start out. I am in between the 2 groups, fighting a vicious 15-25 mph headwind. One lady slows down to fall back into the slower group. I decide to keep with my speed and ride my ride ("You can do it", "You are a strong rider").

At 20 miles we stop at the first rest stop. This is where I am going to meet up with the groups I SHOULD be with. Somehow I have mingled with the fast group, and I am the only other girl there.

So, I ask, "They will be showing up here, right? Like last time?". They reply, "Oh no. The distance builders won't be coming here." CRAP!

Then I am stuck with riding with the fast group. Which is fine... for up to 30 miles, but I can'tkeep their average after that.

I make it to the next rest stop, around mile 30. Luckily, some of the riders took a longer route and are behind me. A couple of the guys were nice and let me draft off them into the headwind.

We take off again. I hang with them for a little while, and then the pack is gone! Again... luckily... 2 of the guys are seriously not in shape to keep up with the group... so we all hang together for the last 17 miles.

Ugh. I wish I stayed with the group I wanted to ride with. I also wish that I could ride fast for more than 30 miles!

Who else here has gotten in the wrong group on a ride? I tell you what, if it hadn't been for those 2 guys who were tired, I would have been dropped and lost.

I did TOMRV with a faster rider, who wanted to ride with me to make sure she didn't go out too fast.

So, on the second day, she knew she was going to make it, and we jumped onto a group. Within five minutes, I was wondering whether *I* was going to be able to finish. I held on... then dropped back, and two guys dropped back with me. We went a few more miles, and then they pulled off and called for the sag wagon! In those few miles going at *my* speed, though, I had recovered.

I caught up at the next rest stop, and my friend said "You should have stayed with us, we weren't going that fast!" I answered, "No, you were going *exactly* that fast." Maybe (but I don't really think so) it's psychological - but sustaining that speed was breaking me down, yet one mph slower and I was fine... oh, and FEELING GOOD instead of feeling crappy. No pain, no problem!

THe one time I've ever bonked was when I went off with a group taht was also just that bit too fast. I kept up... until I just couldn't go at all. They stayed with me those last few miles, but it was not fun. I vividly remember how hard it was to put my pedal forward just to get started at a stop light.

It's tough being "between groups."

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Maybe (but I don't really think so) it's psychological - but sustaining that speed was breaking me down, yet one mph slower and I was fine... oh, and FEELING GOOD instead of feeling crappy. No pain, no problem!

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No, I think it is.

When I ride with faster riders and I am hanging with them, or even worse... in FRONT of them... I totally start thinking, "What the hell am I doing here? I can't ride this fast! They are faster than me!"... etc... etc... Before you know it, I am falling behind.

I did try to talk myself positive last Sat., but dang, I totally lost my confidence when I found out I had no other group to ride with for another 30 miles.

In the end though, our bodies only do... what the do. Right? Sounds like you rode your ride, just the way you needed to, and it worked. It's always nice to not take a SAG wagon... huh?

I have surprised myself often enough that I stopped (on purpose) listening to that voice, but I know it well! (It's the same one that said "oh, they were being nice to you" after the ride or after any comments about my strength... okay, and the same one that now says "well, you were fast for a year or two, but that's over now...") I taught at a school for bright students with learning disabiltiies, and many of them would tell me how stupid they were... until I realized how hard it was for me to truly believe I was a strong rider, despite all kinds of in-my-face evidence, I had always wondered if they were playing head games with me... now I *know* better.
But... I still maintain that it doesn't need to hurt. I didn't think I could make it because of my body's signals, and I'm sure I could push beyond those signals... but I've found I can increase my fitness an awful lot without doing that, and if that level of push makes me 2% better, the 50% increase in risk of injury that pushing that hard gives me ain't worth it. I have strong legs, but not a gifted athlete's response time.

Knowing when it's my body's voice and when it's my history's voice... that's the trick ;=)