Realizing my narrow world- now

Over the years, I've considered myself in who I know well as long time friends and what I've learned from people I've met, worked with often and changes in my own family, as more ethnically diverse and open:

*several interracial marriages within my immediate family
* speak (badly) a 2nd language/mother tongue (Chinese)
*know intimately what it feels like to be non-English speaking immigrant and struggles, since I didn't learn English until kindergarten. Even though I was born in and have lived in Canada all my life
*have travelled in North America and Europe
*was involved as a volunteer for several yrs. prior to cycling, for a national organization representing Chinese-Canadians --on race relations, immigration matters. Our group did a lot of coalition building with the black community and other Asian groups in Metro Toronto
*worked with gay Asians on the board over 30 years ago...when their voice began to come out more openly within the community and beyond. (This was a bigger deal than it is now.)


Then I met a visiting Japanese national a few days ago. She lives in Japan. I realized:
*I've never had known others of Asian descent really well. My closest, long-standing non-white friends are of Chinese descent. They are 2nd or 3rd generation. Then rest of friends are Caucasian. I have had pleasant, superficial acquaintances from jobs who are originally from Philippines, Vietnam.
*I define myself as Asian-Canadian half of the time...when really it doesn't do justice how different each Asian country/their people/histories are. But for a lot of people : we "look" the same.
*No I've never had close friends who were/are black, South Asian nor aboriginal (Canada also calls native Americans, "First Nations people", which in my opinion is best term).
*No, none of my friends at this time are Muslim, Jewish, Sikh

*Of course, I've never been to Asia. It's not the end of world if I don't go because ...I was born in Canada. It's not going to be a big hole in my identity/life since I was raised in a completely different culture/society.

So my world view is a lot more narrow than I thought. Yet, I consider myself liberal, etc. How wrong can I be. Yet, the reality is that I choose friends when the opportunity /time /place exists.

Growing up in a military family I traveled quite a bit, had the opportunity to live in others cultures, try my hand other foods and languages, and have had very diverse groups of friends.

Now, being a 53 year old living in a smaller college town my friends are mostly people I have shared experience with, namely lesbians. People I've known for 20+ years that have endured the same discrimination over that time... and now celebrate our newfound freedoms and recognition together. I also have a few straight friends, they are all kind of groovy counterculture folks so hanging out with them has always been fun and lacking in that stilted weirdness that often surfaces when hanging out with other straights I know.

Realizing your privilege is half the battle. The real issue is when people don't recognize they have a small worldview (usually much smaller then yours). They then assume they know it all & their experiences reflect those of all people.you know this isn't true, which is key to staying open-minded. The fact that you practice such introspection is good. I know I've been a lot of places in the world but I don't know it all and I can't speak for all. I also realize I'm a white woman from a fairly well-off, educated upbringing, so what I see will always be painted by this. I grew up in a white Chicago suburb with other kids that looked just like me. I never saw poverty until I did service learning in college. Thankfully, my parents raised me to recognize my privelege quite a bit as they both grew up poor so rather than blaming the poor children families we worked with, I chose to study social policy. I am far from perfect but recognizing that is what I think matters.

Very true, colorist, recognizing one's own privilege. My own privilege, I am certain if I should travel overseas to poorer areas of Asia, is being born and lived all my life, privileged in a developed country like Canada.

Yet, whenever I hear about trip tours, some flogging staying at some local rural village with the "peasants"..probably with a family making money off tourists...there is a part of me that thinks: "Do I need to experience this? I prefer just to buy a nice dinner made by them. And we all have our own privacy." After all, I grew up poor --5 children in 1 bedroom apartment in Ontario before my parents bought their lst house! That's why our family didn't have any car for many years. That's why I can still live without a car....I've been there for so long ....when I was a child, teen.

Like you colourinst, I am grounded by...my parents, from rural China, a mother who was a picture bride (never met my father before the married) who knows very little English and a father, who taught himself English. It keeps me from becoming overly arrogant. I can't forget because things happen around me, where I am reminded, etc.

While it's true that as a cyclist, there's something humbling when touring by bike and visiting countries. Still, it's not the same as living the lives of the local people who one sees from afar. Far from it.
I had no clue about other Asian countries such as Malayasia, Singapore, etc. until university when I met and shared an apartment with 2 room-mates from Malayasia. In high school geography and history, I was not taught about the smaller countries outside of Japan and China. Vietnam came only to my consciousness because of the Vietnam War footage that I saw on TV and in newspapers, later the whole big deal about the Vietnamese refugee camps and boat people ...where some eventually ended up in North America. Even in my own head, I haven't figured out Vietnamese vs. Cambodian history. Gawd, I don't even know Chinese history prior to 1800's. It's more important and relevant I understand history of the Chinese and others in North American history first, before digging back somewhere else in history, across the Pacific Ocean.

In all blunt honesty, except for food cuisine, I know very little about the culture, history and languages of Korea, Thailand, Cambodia, Burma, etc. Nor would I know about the same groups of their North America experiences and how fusion culture /identity works ... I would not know about regional differences within Japan..whereas I know more dimly but very superficially about China since it is a huge country and those regional differences are to me, more pronounced and probably I use my parent's regional birthplace as a reference point.

However I have only begun to even understand truly regional differences...in Canada as a Canadian ...after living in 3 different provinces.


Pax, the first lesbian I knew/met in person was when I was in high school as a cashier at a store. 2 supervisors revealed to their subordinates (10 of us) that they had a lesbian relationship one day. Now that was ....over 35 years ago.