Biking with Men --- Mad never again

This week is bike to work week. So at my job the bike commuter club I am in had a bike at lunch program to get more people involved. As always I am the only female in the group. I have taken classes with the same instructor and have rode with him before. This time was the worse ride ever, we rode the same route as in the past. I had to stop several times, and at one point I didnt go with the men, I turned around. So he of course came back to me and helped with my gears and going up hills, it was awful. Anyway once the ride ended, he said I was planning on going hard on you today, but I guess i pushed it. I was so mad at him. Push me for what? I told him I will never ride with them again, they are way to fast.

Kind of Mad...
Rina

Well, I don't think gender is the issue. My club recently had a "women's ride" where 2 riders were dropped, and no one even went back to look for them.

My advice would be to communicate that you want someone to hang with you in case you can't keep up. Also, he shouldn't have sprung a faster pace on you without warning you. That's just rude.

This is a bike commuter club. The bike leader style is just wrong and inappropriate.

I doubt you folks are getting into drafting since one doesn't draft when commuting??? So that alone, indicates the type of cycling vs. fitness/training rides. Become strong enough and learn routes....ride on your own also. Otherwise you'll hate/dread cycling.

I agree with Red - this isn't a gender issue, but one with the ride leader being a jerk. I ride with the men ALL the time, and while I can't always keep up, I know the drill beforehand.

Don't let this one experience jade you from riding with the boys - they're pretty fun sometimes :D.

SheFly

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Originally Posted by Rina

This week is bike to work week. So at my job the bike commuter club I am in had a bike at lunch program to get more people involved. As always I am the only female in the group. I have taken classes with the same instructor and have rode with him before. This time was the worse ride ever, we rode the same route as in the past. I had to stop several times, and at one point I didnt go with the men, I turned around. So he of course came back to me and helped with my gears and going up hills, it was awful. Anyway once the ride ended, he said I was planning on going hard on you today, but I guess i pushed it. I was so mad at him. Push me for what? I told him I will never ride with them again, they are way to fast.

Kind of Mad...
Rina

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What is wrong with riding the same route? I don't understand why that is a bad thing. I would think that for someone who doesn't have a lot of experience, riding a familiar route would be good: you know what to expect, know where any trouble spots are, and can adjust accordingly.

Also, why did you have to stop several times?

I'm with others: this doesn't sound like a gender issue. It seems there were different expectations as to what this lunchtime ride was for. Sounds as though the others were treating it as a fitness ride, that it wasn't -- or they weren't treating it as -- a "learn how to commute" ride.

Sounds like communication problems!!

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Originally Posted by owlice

What is wrong with riding the same route? I don't understand why that is a bad thing. I would think that for someone who doesn't have a lot of experience, riding a familiar route would be good: you know what to expect, know where any trouble spots are, and can adjust accordingly.

Also, why did you have to stop several times?

I'm with others: this doesn't sound like a gender issue. It seems there were different expectations as to what this lunchtime ride was for. Sounds as though the others were treating it as a fitness ride, that it wasn't -- or they weren't treating it as -- a "learn how to commute" ride.

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I didnt mind riding the same route, i just felt the ride was for commuting not for racing.

Why not have the discussion with the ride leader/instructor: Is this a fitness ride? A training ride? A recreational ride? Some clarity on what the ride is for (I'm confused) might help pinpoint where the issues are.

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Originally Posted by Irulan

Why not have the discussion with the ride leader/instructor: Is this a fitness ride? A training ride? A recreational ride? Some clarity on what the ride is for (I'm confused) might help pinpoint where the issues are.

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+1. Unless you have other local led rides that are as convenient, I'd be inclined to sit down with the leader and have a constructive discussion on how it didn't meet your needs, and how it might be improved. He might even welcome the feedback. If not, you haven't lost much and at least you tried.

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Originally Posted by Irulan

Why not have the discussion with the ride leader/instructor: Is this a fitness ride? A training ride? A recreational ride? Some clarity on what the ride is for (I'm confused) might help pinpoint where the issues are.

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Precisely. Some clubs wait, others don't. That needs to be clarified in advance, if you don't feel comfortable riding by yourself.

I was on a ride with a friend who was dropped along the route. When we met up she was really angry & thought somebody should have dropped back & stayed with her. We had no idea.

Another thought - when I started riding there were very few women. The upside was that you got fast or got dropped.

Heck, when I started riding I had to buy men's shoes & men's shorts because they didn't have women's clothing at my LBS. Oh - and there was no internet.

OK all you smartalecks out there - my bike did NOT have a great big front tire. I actually had gears & no coaster brakes. :p

It does sound like there is poor communication. I am brand new at road biking (a month) and even newer at group/club biking (3 weeks), but the bike club in our area has really clearly defined expectations for each of the group rides, for example, Wednesday's ride is "recreational, avg. 14 mph, no drop policy". Tuesday's ride is a precision ride, faster, and will drop.

It's REALLY nice to know the expectations. I've been on three rides, each about 12-16 people, about 2/3 men, all really nice.

Good luck....

I guess I'm kind of surprised that anyone can (or will) actually hold to a "will drop" policy for liability reasons. If someone gets lost or left and then gets hit by a car...eek. But I'm just thinking this way as a runner who absolutely didn't leave anyone, particularly newbies, when leading on a route that wasn't really well known to the whole group. And in that case, I would have to wait at the starting point until I knew everyone had come back or was otherwise accounted for (ie, phone call that they'd been picked up and brought home). But who knows.

Is liability a real concern on group rides? Our club makes us sign a waiver for one, but for another, I'm guessing that the assumed risk of riding a bike shields a club or group leader from liability. But torts law is not my speciality so if someone thinks otherwise, I'd like to know.