Bike Suggestions for a Gravel Grinder Metric

Hello, all. I am new to the board and relatively new to cycling really.

I started cycling in earnest in late May/early June 2011. I live way out in the middle of nowhere in Missouri, and my riding is done almost entirely on very hilly, gravel roads. That sharp, limestone gravel. Some spots are nicely compacted, and many are not. The county frequently comes by and blades the roads or adds gravel, making the gravel loose, and I am near the Missouri river, which also adds to water seepage coming up from below the ground in low-lying areas. We also get some pretty big winds, with 20 mph sustained, and 35 mph gusts. It's not always like that, but it often is.

I am hoping to do a gravel metric this Spring, and am currently doing about 12 miles 5 days a week, with one day a week doing a 30 mile ride. My bike now (a Specialized Ariel Sport Disc) is supremely comfortable for this, but good grief is it slow.

I borrowed my husband's cross bike, which is a Fuji, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever ridden -- not that I've ridden that many bikes to compare. I am 5'6", and he is 5'5". His torso is about 2 1/2 inches longer, but our arms are about the same length. My shoulders are about an inch narrower. Anyway, I've worked that position and top tube length were some of the problem, but that thing bounced around like mad on the loose gravel due to the fixed (albeit carbon) fork.

I've been thinking about a Surly Cross Check with wider tires (e.g. Kevlar Fat Franks), more gears for the nasty hills and some sort of Brooks saddle as a way to help with all the jostling about, but all ideas are welcome.

I'm thinking part of the issue with his bike may have been tire inflation, at least the bouncing around part. But yeah, if it doesn't fit, it's not going to feel good, so that too is part of the problem, I'm sure.

Surly's are well loved and if you've spent any time on this forum, you'll know many of us have hearts for steel (as opposed to hearts of steel ;)) for the comfort factor.

Thanks for your comments, ladies.

I thought there might be a tire issue or tire pressure issue too, and that is why I was thinking I might put wider tires on a CX bike to help with that. I had my suspension locked on my Ariel, and it bounced all over the place but to a lesser degree than did the Fuji CX bike when I was on it, so there may be a fork issue too. I will probably try the Cross Check with fat tires and lower pressure to begin with, and then switch forks to something with suspension if necessary.

I ride gravel when I absolutely must but my boyfriend only does gravel rides, either a century or a metric century, year round. We both have Cross Checks and love them to bits. They are perfect for gravel. I'm sure other bikes are too, but in my Surly-loving house they are the best bike for it. Other cross bikes would work but I'd stay with steel and some knobby tires.