Super sensitive

Just need some, I don't know, support & sympathy maybe? I haven't been out on highways much since we moved in May, and what a relief it was to get off the highway! But I didn't expect this reaction-- when I do bike on a highway, apparently I'm super sensitive now to the usual treatment cyclists get. I've been on a highway twice this summer. On one trip I noticed how uncomfortable I was. But today, when someone honked & yelled 'Get off the road' I was so upset I actually cried. This is ridiculous. I've put up with that sort of stuff for years. After the initial shock, learning that it happens to everyone, and finding my own coping mechanisms, like joining & volunteering for bike/ped advocacy, it didn't bother me anymore. Until last year. Now I just can't handle it at all!

A bit of background for those who aren't familiar with my story-- my daughter on her bike was hit by a truck on that highway last year. She recovered, it took me a bit longer (I was right behind her). I did return to biking, and biked on that same highway (unhappily) the rest of the year right up until we moved. Is this reaction more of the "getting over it" stuff? It'll go away on its own?

When you say a highway, is it really a highway, or just a busy, fast 2 lane road? I mean, you aren't allowed to ride on highways here. Why do you have to ride on these kinds of roads? Is it to get places, or are you just out for a ride?
I would never purposely ride on a highway, unless there was no other option.
On our recent tour, we were on some very busy 2 lane roads in upstate NY. Lots of huge semi trucks. But there was a wide shoulder; despite that, the noise was bothersome and the wind from the trucks nearly blew me off of the road.
I just let the stupid comments roll off of my shoulders. They are ignorant. Don't let it bother you... if you have the right to be there, well, tough luck to them. It sounds like riding under the same conditions as your daughter's accident is triggering the fear again. That's why you are crying. It's still there...

In Missouri you can ride any roads but the freeways so highways are fine.

Melavai, I'd bet just about anything that your accident sensitized you to the behavior of drivers and what was once an irritant now is more frightening. I would probably cry too. Not an abnormal reaction at all.

OK, to me freeway and highway mean the same thing...
They don't use the term freeway here; highway is used to refer to interstate roads, I-95, etc. We have state highways, and while I guess you can ride on them, it's rarely done. Traffic is going 65 or 55 and there's 2 lanes of traffic in each direction. I could never ride under those conditions.

I think "freeway" is used to distinguish limited-access highways (that aren't toll roads or interstates), while a highway can be any busy road that exists primarily to move people quickly.

I'm too scared to ride on either, so it's no difference to me! (My general rule is, if I find people too aggressive on a road when I'm in a car, then I don't take the bike on that road).

I use freeway for all limited access four lane highways that aren't tollways, interstates included. Must be a regional thing!

Any, Melavai, I trust that continuing to ride will eventually result in you being less sensitive to the bad behavior of drivers. Take care and be patient with yourself!

In Missouri bicycles are even allowed on interstates. In Iowa they are not. However I wouldn't voluntarily ride my bike on the interstate. (I got trapped on I-29 accidentally once for 3 miles in Joplin! It wasn't actually so bad. Big big shoulder, and I took the next exit, it just happened to be 3 miles away.)

The highways in question are 2 lane highways. The recent one does have shoulders, but they are in terrible condition, not actually usable unless you have a mountain bike. So a lot of cyclists get told "Get on the shoulder!" when they're biking on that road. It's the only way to get to Thousand Hills State Park. I'm on the steering committee for the Forest Lake Area Trail System (FLATS) which will put a 4 mile trail directly to Thousand Hills. (It'll be a really hilly FLATS trail!) I was on that highway because a group of us were doing a practice triathlon at Thousand Hills, and the real triathlon route involves that highway. The other highway, where my daughter was hit, is where we lived. We couldn't leave the house (or come home, which is what we were doing) without using that highway.

Around here you can bike around town on the streets, but if you go anywhere else you have to use a highway. Town isn't very big.

Thanks for the encouragement. It just came as a bit of a shock that I still have this hang up!

Triggers last for years. As long as you know what it is, practice the things you did before...

I don't think getting yelled at has gotten any easier for me, even with all my experience. It's just so rude, and something you don't come across in any other setting in day to day life. It's so unsettling. One thing that has helped a little is riding with the group I ride with. They are so quick to wave and yell "hey!" with a big smile. I wish I could do that. I hope it becomes easier with time and effort. I hate that it rattles me so much.