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I was talking recently to some friends about my hopes to relocate to a different town.
One friend said, "When you move, you probably won't invite us to visit."
Um...how do you address an imaginary snub to an imaginary home?
She had been trying to pick a fight all day with me and I wasn't biting, but, seriously, when someone makes such outrageous accusations in front of other people, what do you say?
I had a "friend" do this a few months ago - everything was just looking for a fight - and yes, in front of other people. That day it became super clear to me, she isn't my friend. We were not close, but still, I was there helping HER to begin with.
I ignored the comments, saying anything would have made me the *itch, and I knew she would talk about it to her friends and our shared circle of aquaintances endlessly.
I'm sure your other friends are still wondering what that one meant by that comment. If you are close to her and want to keep her friendship, invite her to clear the air - when it's just you two.
You did exactly the right thing. Just ignore it. Disengage.
I used to have a "friend" who would make such loaded comments all of the time, and more. After a couple of years I felt like I had to walk on egg shells around her. I know I am far from perfect myself so I've a pretty thick skin for such things - but finally realized that she was no friend and sadly walked away. How you deal with this depends on how important the relationship is to you - but it sounds like you did exactly the right thing.
I've never had a friend like that by laying that type of accusation.
Others have said the best. Personally, I wouldn't waste much time thinking much about what she said.
Time will tell.
As Piet Hein,the Danish Bennett Cerf, used to say "you wouldn't worry what people think of you, if you knew that they seldom do."
That's a great quote! Another one I like is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"Quote:
Originally Posted by marni
I don't know how the general atmosphere was, but I'd tend to make fun of such comments by saying something like - "Oh yes, that's the true reason I want to leave town so I don't have to see any of you ever again. To be honest I don't like you at all!"
But I guess that depends on the kind of people you are with and if they can take a joke. Are you sure she herself was serious?
+1Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan
I've gotta think it was banter?
I'm big into banter of that type, and I need to be careful not to offend.
A nice reply would be "Wow! You must be reading my mind."
*sigh* why do I always think of these things too late.
No, it definitely wasn't banter. She'd been making comments all that day trying to get a rise out of me. Nobody with us was laughing. It was all very uncomfortable for everyone involved.Quote:
Originally Posted by TsPoet
LOL...not sure if that would have lightened up the moment or made her angrier, but it would definitely have been a good comeback. I also think of things too late.Quote:
Originally Posted by lph