Quality of life & making wrong decision for some

After work, I dropped by a bakery for snack by cycling directly from work.

Got into a chat with another customer. He like several I've met, have just moved to Calgary in past 12 months or so.

Probably the seduction of open acreage had him buy and live outside of the city limits. Funny, as soon as I sat down, within 10 min. he complained about how far lived and how much he missed mountain biking. How he couldn't do it because of his work schedule.

The thing is the guy was from Ottawa where he cycled year-round for several years because he lived closed to downtown.

Now, he's discovering it's not a great quality of life for him to be out in the boonies, despite the lure of open acreage. For himself.

I don't think he had children. If he had a girlfriend somewhere, he didn't mention her. (Though I kept mentioning my partner.)

He was not young..closer to my age. So not inexperienced in life and presumably learned something along the way.

So it must be the lure of flipping land one day and making money that might have been the real draw. Either he was not happy or he was a smooth talker.

It sounds like it's a case of the grass being greener on the other side. For a while, I didn't like living in urban Cleveland--I missed the greenery (even if it was just manicured lawns and whatnot), the space, and the relative quiet of the suburbs (as well as the fact that I had access to bike trails and roads that aren't full of potholes). Now that I'm back in said suburbs, and will be moving to one in a different city, I miss being able to walk everywhere, the unique coffeeshops, yeah... Won't complain about the cycling or the lack of drunk people puking on the sidewalk outside my window, but still...

Could be he just didn't realize how he'd feel until he tried it. I wouldn't assume that making money was behind his land purchase (not that there's anything wrong with that).

I've known several people who moved to the country or suburbs, but decided they didn't like it and returned to the city. I can really understand that; I thought living in the 'burbs 12 miles from NYC would be great, but it wasn't right for me.

I still have a good memories as a child and teen living in a city of 30,000+ before it really expanded but we actually lived downtown. So I also know the quality of life in smaller areas at a slower pace, but close to shops, schools, public transit, etc. It retrospect, it was an excellent environment to raise a family and gave to me, personally a balanced sense of what it means to live in a more homogenous place with a strong sense of local historical roots but was not isolating and as well as knowing what it means to live in a large metropolitan cities with highly diverse populations.

I've stayed with friends living in towns of 1,000 to 5,000 for over a wk. --several times in life.

And cycling for long stretches of time in rural areas. Then when we got to the areas after a full day of cycling, sightseeing...then...what...I couldn't figure out what to do beyond reading book, computer and tv. I'm not the sort of person that needs to hang out with friends so often (several times per wk.) which is probably possible in smaller towns. Other people want that.

So probably would pick up doing more art, solitary stuff...I guess. But I do derive even creative stimulation from being exposed in person, to a wide, diverse variety of other people and ideas, sensations in unpredictable ways. (Yea, I know unpredictability means danger in the city, to some people.) The Internet....it just virtual but a great learning tool.

My parents sold their home (they enjoyed living there but were dependent on car) and moved 100 kms. east into Toronto (to be closer to their children).

They live in downtown Toronto in a residential area, not among the skyscrapers. Which unfortunately that's what some rural folks might think.
And always they always chose to make sure their home is close to public transit. Within 15 min. walk or less.

My father didn't mind chauffeuring us around when we were younger (mother did not know how drive), but car wasn't even available when he needed it to go to work...40 kms. away in another city. So they always had to have a home no matter where, close to public transit.

None of us have ever lived in true country/rural areas...suburbs only. (Sorry my parents grew up in villages in China. They most definitely aren't interested in rural areas with that type of isolation in big North America.)

I like space, quiet, etc... But I also know I love my 20 minute commute to work (I used to commute nearly an hour each way, that was horrible!). When I move, I definitely want to go somewhere that DOESN'T have 1 MILLION people in a single county. The traffic alone... yuck. But I do like having so much stuff around me to do. The variety is great and even though everything is 20 minutes away (further if I want to head into DC), in reality 20 minutes isn't that big of a drive.

It's really a hard call sometimes. We always lived in city, and the noise and constant hustle and lack of green spaces drove us nuts. We also feel the lure of open land, and I wouldn't want to trade the cycling opportunities that I have out here in the middle of nowhere for anything.

However, income out here is hard for me - I was all computer-related work when we moved so I worked from home. However, that business has died (partly because I've been burned out for years and it was affecting my work). Now, any job would have me driving more than an hour each way. So... as it is, my income is rather paltry as I just have little side jobs and am working on a new career. Not the best of all worlds!

Ideally? A little piece of land maybe 30 minutes from a city would be great. Chattanooga still offers that, so that's where we plan to go.

Sometimes you don't realize all the pitfalls until you live in the boonies.

i was lured by the countryside as well. But It become obvious to me that people living out THERE spend HOURS and HOURS in their cars just going to and from work. Their precious animals and gardens that they are able to have because of where they live are left alone.
When you add up the hours it is HUGE, not to mention the gasoline they use just STUCK in traffic. I've live 4 miles from my office for 32 years. doesn't add up to much time wasted going to and fro, that's for sure.
There's a lot of things I don't like about living in the city; noise and ambient light at night are two big ones; but I still think I have better quality of life than those SITTING in their cars for all those long terrible hours

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

I don't think he had children. If he had a girlfriend somewhere, he didn't mention her. (Though I kept mentioning my partner.)

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There are any one of a number of reasons he might not mention his relationships including yet not limited to:

:( being a widow and not wanting to discuss the pain of losing a wife or dare we say husband because it's too painful. Maybe that person was why he moved there and now lives alone. Is it possible by our judging others for any reason including location we sometimes miss an opportunity to create community and support?

:( divorce from, see above.

;) a new relationship starting but not sure where it's going and you being a stranger his not wanting to say he lives alone but "jeepers I just met this gal or dare we say ... " see above.

As I "bat for the other team" I'm not sure of what are probably a slew of reasons a man might not state his relationship status to someone he just met. But even and especially those who "live alone" do need to form/build community. Instead of judging one should seek to reach out.

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

So it must be the lure of flipping land one day and making money that might have been the real draw. Either he was not happy or he was a smooth talker.

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I don't think anyone is flipping these days. :rolleyes: I don't know the market up north but it's tanked here. Sounds like regardless of why he moved there or buying that home he may be mulling the choices to increase his quality of life including but not limited to; job closer to home or part time, or find the local cycling near his home.

Since I was not there and don't know what I'd say in a similar occurance but hope that I would have intuited what's on his mind and suggested local info that could help him, rides nearby he can do, rides nearby work even he might do on a lunchtime ride, companies that may be hiring.

When I bought while many of my coworkers were getting McMansions in Tracy, Stockton (hour commute each way) with those magic loans I chose a small, fixer upper, condo near public transportation options . It took a year to find a safe bike route (the bridge is not signed). Would that I had met a local at a nearby coffee shop, expressed that I missed my former easy commute and had someone say "oh, you could do this". :rolleyes:

But then it took me almost that long in weekend rides to find that "yes, there are local coffee shops here too".

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Originally Posted by Trek420

lives alone. Is it possible by our judging others for any reason including location we sometimes miss an opportunity to create community and support?
.........................As I "bat for the other team" I'm not sure of what are probably a slew of reasons a man might not state his relationship status to someone he just met. But even and especially those who "live alone" do need to form/build community. Instead of judging one should seek to reach out.
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I don't think anyone is flipping these days. :rolleyes: I don't know the market up north but it's tanked here. Sounds like regardless of why he moved there or buying that home he may be mulling the choices to increase his quality of life including but not limited to; job closer to home or part time, or find the local cycling near his home.

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Just an observation from me Trek, since I am aware...I am alone in the city but my partner (who is divorced, so I know all about those sensitivities) ..is 1,500 kms. west of me.

So spending time chatting up with a friendly strange guy for over an hr. on some interesting topics (liveable communities, etc.), to me, is reaching out.

It's enough for me...I normally don't spend hrs. and hrs. of personal time with other single guys outside of work. It just hasn't been my style. It's just me, how I operate. I just haven't been interested in investing much time for nurturing platonic close friendships with guy friends outside of work, when I already have a partner.

I would prefer more female good new friends in life. But that's not going to happen real fast either with all the changes in life so far and being newish in this city.

Most likely he probably spent less money than I did for the place I just got ..with less acreage but closer to city stuff/conveniences. He was a university educated guy with familiarity to cultural stuff. So he was in the city on his day off, to get abit of the stuff (which right now is pancake breakfasts, country 'n western music, cowboy hattin' and boot strappin' folks struttin' all over town).

The real estate market in Canada did not suffer in the same way as the U.S. We don't have the sub-prime mortgage fiasco situation on the same scale at all here that could esclate because our banks are quite regulated. I trust the reliability of our national banks so far that I would never get a mortgage from a small firm mortgage broker. No way. I was surprised to learn that in the U.S. there are state banks or state level banks. Our Canadian banks are federally regulated. Credit unions, insurance companies...are subject to a raft of provincial legislation plus some federal.

While property in some Canadian provinces did fall during the worlwide economic recession, it didn't fall totally flat on its face. Now it's climbing back. But no massive foreclosure situations like in the U.S. that has swept across whole swaths in some cities, etc. in residential areas. 'Cause there are stories of some Canadians taking trips down into the U.S. to buy foreclosed homes in certain areas.

Right now it feels like the frontier prairie West all over again, oil industry post-Stampede parties, buying open acreage...yahooooooooo!

When we moved to Edmonton a number of people told us that cheap acreage outside the city was a big selling point. That, and very little traffic compared to Vancouver or Toronto. I think this is part of the dynamic of these prairie cities that need to recruit workers from outside of the province.

Some people buy into those selling points. Maybe they want to try something different -- nothing wrong with that. We entertained the idea for about 5 seconds, like wouldn't it be great to have all this space for the dog to run around on? But we went back to our values of living close to downtown and the convenience of amenities. Plus I couldn't bear the thought of that kind of isolation. It's already hard enough to move to a new place, being a shy person trying to make new friends. As it turned out I felt quite isolated even in the middle of the city.

I know Edmonton and Calgary are quite different, but I found that even living within 5 miles of downtown, I could easily spend 1.5-2 hours in my car in a day to get all my errands done, since things can be quite spread out. For some reason, I had to visit four different strip malls in order to bank, grocery, dry clean, and drug store/post office. 20 minutes in between destinations can really add up. Unfortunately light rail did not serve our part of town and the buses were only so-so. The bike infrastructure and sharing the road is another story.

We just sold our house in Edmonton and for having only been there for two years we did quite well. I don't know if that qualifies as a "flip," but I also would not discount the impact of a robust petroleum industry.

Footnote: Alberta does have a "provincial" bank. It's called ATB Financial. I'm not familiar with the details as to how it is regulated but I think it is somewhat different from the banks that have a national presence.

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know Edmonton and Calgary are quite different, but I found that even living within 5 miles of downtown, I could easily spend 1.5-2 hours in my car in a day to get all my errands done, since things can be quite spread out. For some reason, I had to visit four different strip malls in order to bank, grocery, dry clean, and drug store/post office. 20 minutes in between destinations can really add up.

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Yee gads!
Glad you sold at the right time. Hopefully hubby still has job somehow / you found one.

Poeple talk about finding a good friend in the rural areas. Hmmmm. Yea, I guess. Same problem as living in the middle of city. Probability of friendships have not a whole lot to do whether or not a city or rural lifestyle helps foster it. More of a blend of types of social activities and happenstance.

This weekend and last, I continue to find out more folks migrated from other parts of Canada and landing to live in Calgary.

I'm not totally sure our current mayor (a Harvard-educated South Asian-Canadian and Islamic) who won by a surprising landlslide, if there's total truth in what he said of the so-called new Calgary now: "Nobody cares where you're daddy is from". A semi-boosterish, positive comment in response to pervasive redneck reputation and conservatism of some midwestern parts of Canada. Most definitely Calgary is still (to me) quite conservative and ...sorry, mercenary. Voices of the marginalized in this city ...are muffled a whole lot more than in Toronto and Vancouver. Local service agencies hardly make the news here..It takes alot of velvet-mittened kickass to get attention.

That includes cycling infrastructure matters.