feelin' bourgeoise, but divide between boomers & others

Just came back from a BBQ where it was for small bunch of cyclists at an alternative urban garden in core of downtown. One of the guys, under 25 just arrived in town for summer to work. From another city where he lived with parent.

He described how he was homeless for a few wks. in town, sleeping on roof with a tarp over himself. And going through dumpsters to fashion some climbing clamp gear for urban climbing. Whatever.
I felt hopelessly bourgeoise. The way how he told the story, seemed like sort of cool thing.
I felt totally the opposite: Ugh. I know if I had heard the story his age, I still would have cringed...ugh.
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I grew up ..very poor. I mean truly when I gave my story of last 30 car-free years, I neglected to mention is an additional first 14 years, car-free....because my parents just couldn't afford a car. Some days was eating meat that my mom pulled off ....chicken neck bones. 'Cause it was the cheapest cut she could buy for 6 children.

And no wonder why all her daughters learned to sew....we absolutely had to. No other money to buy store-bought clothes for so many of us.

And many other stories.

Yes, it does ..um build character in a person. It truly can endow a person with skills of self-help in certain areas-- for life. And yes, it's helped me "tough" it out mentally during times of unemployment. I don't feel terrible for the material things I have since I feel I've given my time and energy as a volunteer for several years for each different non-profit organization. (And now, it's looking after 3 blogs in addition to a full time job. Nuts, but I do enjoy it. :))

But it's made me work hard in a way for a chunk in life, I probably take for granted. I also tend to identify with non-English speaking immigrants with their problems, 'cause I've walked that tough route not knowing English until kindergarten even though I was born in Canada.

Therefore with news media stories that blame the boomer for making our environment a mess; that we don't understand the debt of younger generation graduating from university/college, the looming health care crisis when so many more boomers will be in nursing homes and shrinking population to pay taxes to support health care costs, etc.

I dunno. I think if the great divide that exists between the older generation and much younger generation could close the gap abit, with more understanding of each other's histories/backgrounds.

I know many people look at me as bourgeoise...but if they only knew where I came from in the journey of life.

I think people apply generalizations to every generation.
I would have thought that young man had a terrible situation if I had met him at age 25, and I can say with total certainty that my kids (26 and 28) would not think he is cool now.
Wanting a certain level of comfort in life is not a bad thing, no matter what kind of background you have. Why should I feel bad for having comforts that I have worked for?
I grew up very "privileged." Then my dad lost his job and there were night we didn't have enough food. Family helped and I left to go to college; I appreciate everything I have, and if people don't like it, well, too bad. I chose 2 careers where I have been in a helping role. This is my way of giving back. If you don't like where I live, my car, or the $ I spend on bikes :), well, deal with it.

From what you say, it sounds like that kid had a choice of being homeless or not. Having a choice makes a big difference in my book.

I'm another one who will not apologize for what I have now. If CPS back in the 60's and 70's was the way it is now, my siblings and I would have been ripped out of our house and put in foster care. We lived with our natural parents, but the situation was very bad. Luckily we had aunts and uncles who bailed us out on more than one occasion. All 4 of us somehow managed to get through school and grow up to be productive people with fairly strong moral compasses, although I have no idea how.

I do have some expensive hobbies, but the household bills always get paid first, with some set aside for emergencies (both mine and for my family). I've worked very hard to get here. If I have the extra to have some fun I can't feel guilty about it.

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

I felt hopelessly bourgeoise. The way how he told the story, seemed like sort of cool thing.
I felt totally the opposite: Ugh. I know if I had heard the story his age, I still would have cringed...ugh.

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My first question: why are you comparing yourself with this young man? He's a different person from you -- why should his choice (and I agree with Roadie -- it sounds like a choice) have anything to do with you at all? And why would it inspire people to announce that they aren't apologizing for what they have -- did the young man ask for some sort of apology?

What he describes is unsurprising to someone my age -- during the sixties and seventies, that kind of thing was done all the time. Maybe it still is.

Really, you will enjoy social occasions -- and life in general -- much more if you don't compare yourself with the people you meet.

I am curious about urban climbing -- do you know what he was planning to climb?

As far as appropriating useful trash, that's a fine urban tradition in which I have joyfully participated, as have many of my friends. The resurgence of bedbugs has made it less common, but that's the only negative I know of.

I post "curb alerts" in Freecycle all the time.

I have to say, Shootingstar, that after reading your posts for a couple of years that I picture you as being more bohemian than bourgeoise:D (creative, unconventional, independent...) but I don't REALLY know you, so take that for what it's worth... I certainly wouldn't lump you in with the despoilers-of- the-earth variety of middle class people, but really, that is just a stereotype anyway, and when has such simplistic thinking about the world been helpful to anyone?

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Originally Posted by roadie gal

From what you say, it sounds like that kid had a choice of being homeless or not. Having a choice makes a big difference in my book.

I'm another one who will not apologize for what I have now. If CPS back in the 60's and 70's was the way it is now, my siblings and I would have been ripped out of our house and put in foster care. We lived with our natural parents, but the situation was very bad. Luckily we had aunts and uncles who bailed us out on more than one occasion. All 4 of us somehow managed to get through school and grow up to be productive people with fairly strong moral compasses, although I have no idea how.

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Yes, the young man had choice to be homeless vs. going back to his father's home which he will after the summer. It's 250 kms. away. At least he'll learn something about self-help this summer.

You were fortunate roadie gal.

I don't know what urban climbing is for..except for climbing onto roofs to sleep while homeless??

Yesterday's conversation also made me feel old. :o

I'm a pretty ordinary person for those who have met me. However it's a matter of context. Alot of other women would view alot of TE regular forumites here, as atypical.
As for living car-free, and cycling as part of my lifestyle..yes, it's a choice that I dropped my license ages ago (because I was not a good driver. Not safe for me) but to me, now it's more a survival tactic for my health and for transportation options.

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— n , pl -geois
1. a member of the middle class, esp one regarded as being conservative and materialistic or (in Marxist thought) a capitalist exploiting the working class
2. a mediocre, unimaginative, or materialistic person

— adj
3. characteristic of, relating to, or comprising the middle class
4. conservative or materialistic in outlook: a bourgeois mentality
5. (in Marxist thought) dominated by capitalists or capitalist interests

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For clarity. I wonder if it's the correct word to use?