Little Rant...

Friend joins gym..
Friend buys a bike as he saw success I have had..
Friend really starts trying to loose weight...

Friend is having good success and asks me to join him at the gym as his guest.

I go... grateful for the mutual support. Now I knew my friend has a little bit of a "laser" focus when he gets attached to an idea, but I am supportive if he really wants change in his life.. I knew it wouldn't hurt to get back in the gym myself.

Anyhow.. Were at the gym, he is acting like my personal trainer and keeps really trying to push me hard, telling me to add weight, etc etc.

I havent worked out with weighs in over ten years (and told him this), but his pushing me too hard, too fast has me really hurting. This was Thursday evening and last night I couldn't sleep because of the stiffess and pain in my right bicep. He calls today to ask if I'm going to the gym tomorrow AM. I tell him how I'm feeling and can't extend my right elbow, but he starts in on the no pain, no gain stuff and I'm just sore and should just push through this.

I don't want to cause an issue with my friend, but I need to do this on my own terms, not some kind of commando health club militant pain is good mentality.

I'm not above hard work, I've done it before when I dropped 60 pounds in four months... I just got complacent and too busy... Gained it all back, but back on the road to better health and living now.

Just trying to deal with my friend... Besides ditching him and signing up myself and working out solo...

Shannon

Why can't you say, "This really isn't working for me, sorry". Never underestimate the power of just being direct. You probably can't take care of yourself and be nice about it, so choose one.

I think you've already got the words you need:

"I don't want to cause an issue, and I really appreciate your support, but I need to do this on my own terms. After all, I haven't worked out with weights in over ten years."

You may need to sign up for your own membership anyway -- there's probably a limit to the number of times you can go as his guest.

I'd try being direct too. If he's a friend he'll understand.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hebe

I'd try being direct too. If he's a friend he'll understand.

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..and if he doesn't, then maybe he's not worth having as a friend?

Close your eyes, and think of Nancy Reagan.
Just say no.

Sounds to me like he's more interested in showing off and feeling superior by pushing you around, rather than having any real concern for your welfare. But that's just my impression.

I agree with all of the advice above.

I have a friend a bit like this - I ended up suggesting we take up a Personal Trainer together on the premise that I was concerned about my 'form' with free weights
The Personal Trainer insisted on speaking with each of us separately and together before the session started and ascertained that we were both working towards different goals
The trainer then put together a session each for us to do on our own and one we could do together

I know not all PTs are like this - but maybe you could have a chat to someone at the gym and see what they suggest, I know at ours that even as a non-member they're quite happy to give advice over the phone

I'd be inclined to do as others have suggested and go the direct route plus I also think jobob is onto something with her analysis of the situation.