As some of you heard I was in a crash a few weeks ago....things are fine (pinky is still sore so excuse any typos or lack of caps...she sometimes does not want to hit the shift key) I hear the more injured are doing well and will be back riding soon
anyway...i got right back on and rode the next day in a group but i was dropped by the main group and ended up riding with another gal for the rest of the distance. then for the next couple of weeks my fiancee and i were traveling...we did a metric and a full century in PA & DE. very pretty country so i opted to enjoy my surroundings and not draft (it takes too much concentration to draft...i wanted to view the countryside) at the full century my "beloved" had a few words to say about my lack of cooperation but i just blew it off and pedaled on oblivious that there was a problem...
WELL...tuesday night in a typical group ride i have done numerous times before and managed to stay towards the front (even do my share of pulling)...i had not one, not two, but a constant series of panic attacks!!!! (mild, cause i was able to keep pedaling, but bad enough!) did i mention this was the same group i was involved with the crash?
As we drove in the parking lot i told my fiancee (chris) i felt nauseous (not realizing what was wrong...just thought it was a bad PB&J) the ride began...the knot in my throat is now growing and my breathing is hampered!!! chris kept saying "get on his wheel or we are going to get dropped!!!" so i did and hyperventilation started...i backed off caught my breath and told chris i have never been this nervous in my life!!!! he then realized what was going on...we layed back for a bit but the group was picking up speed and he wanted me to get through this so we pedaled on and once again i got on someones wheel and hyperventilated again...chris came up beside me and calmly bellowed out orders: "keep your elbows bent, breath, watch your cadence, watch ahead, breath, stay on his wheel, relax, get back on his wheel, i am not mad, bend your elbows, i love you, pedal, you are doing great, if you don't get back on his wheel we are turning around, relax, come on...you can get through this....etc!!!!" meanwhile i am trying sooo hard to keep my breathing in tact while blubbering like an absolute moron!!!! Just as i started to get my composure and relax...BOOM!!!! another wreck...in front of ME!!! i vered left (which in hindsite was a bad idea - we were on a road side....i could have been hit by a car if they were not paying attention :( ) i wasn't but it is in the back of my mind now!!!
Everyone was ok and off we went to finish the ride...still shaking and working through my fear i kept pedaling...a sprint came up so i dropped off the back until someone gave me his wheel to pull me back to the group (chris thought if he left me alone i might do better...yes and no) i stayed with the group for the most part but still not my usual self.
Needless to say i finished (lagging behind a bit on the bike and alot in spirit!) I still want to get back on the saddle and ride with groups...i just know it will take some time and i will be fine! I did get back on the dirt last night and WOOOOHOOOOOed my way throught the trees....i did miss a few of my favorite jumps and drops cause i really need to be babying my ankle...but when it heals gals...look out :eek: :eek: :eek: Asheville...here i come!!!!
