An article that might help a little
Here's an article from a local bike shop that might help you.
http://www.chainreaction.com/shifting.htm
I am blessed that my husband was a Cat 1 racer, so I have a constant source of bike-how-to information. The way I really figured out the whole shifting thing (after he explained the whole thing to me) was in riding my bike in the trainer and watching everything happen as I shifted over and over and over again. Don't know if you have access to a trainer, but it has helped me immensely with clipping in and out, shifting and just gaining strength since I can only really get out on the road maybe once a week.