Q & A from aarp

From the American Association Of Retired People

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them? A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his
wife is going through
menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you're done you'll have a
place to live. Q: Someone has told me that
menopause is mentioned in
the bible. Is that true?
Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ***
all the way to Egypt ." Q: How can you increase the
heart rate of your 60-plus
year old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly
wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these!" SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

Hahaha. Nice ones. I thought I might put some life into the thread by keeping it alive.

Could you speak up?

Three old guys, all hard of hearing, were playing golf one sunny spring morning. One says to another, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man answers, "it's Thursday." The third guy, listening in, pipes up, "So am I! Let's grab a beer."

Behind the wheel

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Picking up, he heard his wife, her voice high with anxiety, warn him, "Henry, I just saw on the news that there's a car driving the wrong way on Highway 880. Please be careful!"

"One?" replied Henry, "You've got to be kidding me. I see at least a hundred!"
:p:p