I have to confess, I am the biggest scaredy cat in the world. I never ride alone. Well, Ben is gone to Denver for the week and I was feeling really, really sorry for myself that he missed my 40th birthday and our son, who is home from military school only said, "oh yeah, happy birthday" after Ben reminded him....and....sniff, sniff...I just hit emotional rock bottom.
So Sunday, I thought, I am going to ride just a little ways, not far. Just around the triangle (our road makes a triangle). I even thought, I am not going to put on bike shorts but just wear jeans. Well, that didn't work cause I couldn't find the little straps that keep my jeans free of the chain, so garb up I did. I rode all of 4 miles. Big deal, right?
Then yesterday, I was just depressed beyond words. I am sick and tired of being afraid of everything in life. So, I thought, "By gosh, I am going to ride my bike and if I have a flat I'll change it myself and if a car hits me, big deal!" I ended up riding 20 miles. I averaged 11.9 mph. Not a single car even drove down the access road of the interstate. I did have a darling of a teeny tiny dachshund chase me. But I am soooooo proud of myself! I was able to do it all by myself. It felt so good. This means that if I want to ride when Ben isn't here, either morning or midday, or whenever, I can just go do it. I don't have to wait for him. I don't have ride hard and keep up a 15 mph average, either!
I know a lot of you ride alone all the time. I didn't realize how nice it is to do that. I still want to ride mostly with Ben, but I enjoyed my alone time, too.
I have been under an incredible amount of stress lately, and have found myself polishing off a bottle of wine each evening, until Ben said, "no more" we are both getting healthy!
I found this book at Walmart this evening, "Body For Life For Women" and bought it. I used to do the Body For Life thing, and I have wanted to to finish the challenge for about six years now. So I am going to do that. I really need something to help my self confidence. And I really, really want to get super fit, muscular and acheive my life long goal of biking a century and even do a triathlon or biathlon.
Ben will be home Thursday and then on Friday I have to go to my yearly cancer checkup (EGD and colonoscopy; last year they removed four encapsulated polyps that were stage A contained, so I'm not overly worried about that...it is just a crappy thing to go through...PUN somewhat intended!)
As I tell my son, "pull yourself up by bootstraps and get on with it". I need practice what I preach. And I do thank God for Ben, who finally saw how desperately depressed I am/was and is willing to help me before I become a begging wino on the street corner.
And I am really, really grateful for the bike....and this forum! What a nice place to come, and learn. Why just yesterday I was reading a post about biking shorts, and I think it was Denise who mentioned PI Sugar Shorts so I ordered some from Team Estrogen, along with a cut sleeveless Peggy Sue jersy. Then I read about the Speedplay Frogs and am interested in them. HEY! Cycling AND shopping beat Prozac and Merlot any day in my book!
KiK (BTW, I am morphing, Kim is my wimpy name I am now Kik!)