Losing a friend

My mom's dear friend died this weekend and I am very sad. She was definitely more my mother's friend than mine but she was a friend of the family. I had known her for at least 13 years. She had some sort of auto-immune disease and it was known it would eventually win but you are never ready.

I am struggling today with the overwhelming sadness I feel at work and the feeling I shouldn't be this sad. She was my mom's friend but it wasn't like she ever called me to shoot the breeze. I almost feel like I shouldn't be so depressed but I am so sad I want to take the afternoon off so I can go home and be sad in peace. I want to giggle at the crazy memories of her and be thankful she left them with me. I don't want to be sitting in my cubicle wishing I would stop having to fight back tears.

Amanda,
I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. She may have been your mom's confidant and companion but your knew her and probably loved her if for no other reason than your mom did...and that hurts. You go ahead and cry. You go ahead and remember her. You go ahead and mourn. And I say, if you want to go home and have a good cry then you should do it. And I think it is a wonderful testimony to how you feel about her that you can remember her fondly and smile. I'm sure she appreciated that in life and would want people to remember that at her passing. Hugs and prayers to you and your mom.
Gray

Even though she may not be considered family, she was still very much a part of your life--and your mother's. It's ok to be sad and to mourn your loss. She sounded like a wonderful friend and I think she would be touched that you miss her so.

Hugs and prayers to you over the loss of a family friend. My parent’s friends were our extended family members over the years and alot of the older ones are gone now, alongwith my grandparents, Mom and Dad. I have very fond memories of them and that is what will always stay with you. They are an important part of our lives. When you get home, allow yourself a good, solid cry for the loss of your friend.

I'm sorry for your loss, and your Mom's. Family friends touch the lives of every one in the family, and it's hard to lose them.

(((((Amanda)))))

It's okay for you to be sad. Be gentle with yourself. Honor your friend's life in whatever ways feel right to you.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Amanda. Remember that even though you are feeling your own pain, your mother needs you now more than ever.

Karen

{{{{Amanda}}}} Sorry for your loss. She may have been closer to your mom, but you had a connection with her. Two weeks ago, an elderly gentlemen from church died. He was 83 and I only knew him from church, but he would always come up to me after mass and ask me about my adventures on my bike. He was always so encouraging. I was very sad at his passing. I went to his funeral because he always was so encouraging to me in just a 5 minute casual conversation once a week.

(((Aggie Ama))) Like everyone else says, allow yourself a good cry. I'm going to a funeral tomorrow for a 98-year old man whom I met only twice. He was sharp as a knife when I last saw him a year ago. My SO was a good friend of his, however, and I know it's important for me to be there. Be with your mom if you can.

Thanks for the support ladies. On the way home from work my phone rang, it was my mom. Mom and I are extremely close and she "needed her best friend". We talked and laughed, I think it helped her but it really helped me too. At first I didn't know what to say but then you know how it is with your friends, it just falls into place. She told me this was actually sudden, although she had schleraderma (I am just spelling phoenetically) she wasn't sick Saturday. It came on and by the time her husband rushed her to the ER she was gone. No warning, just gone.

Mom and I laughed about some of the craziest memories of Sheesh. She was a caring person, the life of the party and your biggest cheerleader even when you didn't think deserved one. I told her I felt sad and I didn't feel like I should. That I was so mad at my giggling co-workers all day because didn't they understand there were so many things out there and real life other than the weekend they had. Funny thing is she got mad at her own boss for not realizing she had lost a very close friend and being pretty intense with her today. Sheesh had also been a co-worker at one point and mom said she wanted to yell "but she was also one of my best friends!!" We laughed about how sometimes you can't just toughen the f up.

So in true fashion of our friend there will be a party for her, not a somber burial. And I will be there for mom, Dad and Sheesh's husband whom I adore as well. Plus her equally nutty brothers who I am sure miss their sister so much right now.

Sundial- I told my mom the quote from your signature, it was true to our friend. Thank you for keeping it there and I hope you don't mind that I shared it, my mom found great comfort in it.

Aggie Ama:

People touch our lives in ways we don't expect. You might not know why right now, but she touched you in a way that you hadn't realized. You may also be grieving for your mom. ((((Aggie Ama))))