Good friend, bad rider

I have a good friend who I've been mountain biking with for several years with no problem. I took up road biking this year and learned a lot of the etiquette and have done some group rides. My friend has an old six speed road bike and has started riding with me in the evening, which is nice because I like talking to him and it's nice to not venture so far from my house alone. The trouble with him is that he refuses to shift into his smaller ring (he has to "challenge himself to get stronger"), causing him to mash and not spin. He swerves like a truck on a highway, always wants to ride two abreast, even though I tell him to pace line, and has cut in front of me on apexes. The problem is that he's a good friend, but he's also stubborn, despite me getting on him (I think he thinks it's funny and the bike's fault that he can't spin). My boyfriend has had the same problem with him. Any advice for making him safer to ride with? I'm not one for confrontation and it's annoying to have to read him the riot act all the time.

You can lead a horse to water.....

Sounds like someone who doesn't listen. I can't stand that. To me, is shows that they don't respect me.

In this case, if talking to him won't help, there's not much to do except refuse to ride with him. If he's dangerous on the road, then it's not funny/cute.

OMG....My husband and I are laughing right now because you must be riding with our friend. We know this guy from work that we got riding with my husbands old road bke. He wants to learn but you can't get anywhere near his rear wheel. Pedal, stop...pedal, stop...he's got a computer with cadence and we even gave him a Carmicheal DVD about cadence and intervals. In one ear and out the other. It's almost caused a couple of bad wrecks on a big bridge we ride. What do you say? Needless to say we haven't ridden with him in a while. I think it's the old dog, new trick thing. He'll think it's funny until he wrecks. Hate to say it, but.....don't ride with him. Maybe he will get the message and try harder.

could you maybe take him on a group ride. Maybe you telling him just isn't going to work but if he sees how the other guys ride and that you aren't just trying to get him to do what you want he will start being a bit safer? Guys are like that, some girls too. I went on one ride with my sister during our holiday and she wouldn't listen to me telling her that spinning is much better for you than mashing, she even laughed at me and told me her fiance rides like me and she doesn't understand why I would do that, it makes your heart rate go up and her cardio is her running. Riding is just for fun.

I had the same problem with a friend who wanted to ride with me several years ago. She'd do a similar thing to Kermit's friend: pedal, pedal, pedal, coast...pedal, pedal, pedal, coast--for the whole ride! At least we never did more than maybe 15 miles together. No matter what I said about trying to spin, or how much I suggested shifting in particular ways, it did no good. On the rare occasions when she did shift, she slammed the levers around, as if she were angry with them.

Sad to say, but I just had to quit riding with her. Even sadder, she's no longer getting any exercise of any kind and her once-sweet Bianchi Volpe is rusting away in her garage. Some people just refuse to accept advice or to be helped.

I don't know about dragging him to a group ride. I wouldn't want to be responsible for bringing such a safety hazard to a group. There's often that guy who can't hold a line or who can't pedal smoothly, but cutting people off in turns or riding dangerously in traffic is even worse.

Thanks, everyone. I already have friends in the group ride who say they won't ride with him after hearing about his technique (or lack thereof). It's weird to have a good friend and then suddenly want to kill them when you start a new activity together. He got into road biking so he could spend more time with us (since we were spending less time on the trail).

B'bug, Obviously I don't know your friend, though I've ridden with folks like him. You'd know better what is the cause or cure for this.

Sometime the rider is plain ol' stubborn. And sometimes not everyone has the mind/body connection to make the jump to learn gearing, spinning.

I find that saying. lecturing, finger pointing does not work well for many. Heck, it does not work at all. Showing works. :) Follow me, ride like this :) But then he has to want to follow another rider. There again not all can see one thing and then make the connection to do the motion.

I'm not saying he's dumb, uncoordinated, it's just a skill not all have or learning style.

I'm very picky about who I ride with. Meanwhile, invite him to the recovery meal :cool: :D

Give him the name and phone number of a good orthopedic surgeon, and tell him it's for when (not if, when) he destroys his knees by refusing to shift down on hills.

Hmmm, I say ditch him too. I won't downshift on hills, into my granny anyway. I know it sounds st00ped but I'd rather walk than grunt around in my granny. Part of this is not wanting to get used to having a triple and relying on it, and part of it is me not realizing that I am not racer girl of years before powering up and down a short steep hill for "fun" waiting for my friends. Would I do this in a group though? Nevah!