Dear So and So

Some just started this thread on another forum. It's making me howl with laughter! She said, "it was really nice and theraputic, and a lot of fun. This is how it works: You write short little notes to people who may or may not see them, just to get your feelings out there and make you feel a little better." Here's my letter:

Dear Sun Gods:

Pretty, just pretty please, may we see you this weekend in California? I'll sacrifice my first born child . . . oh wait, there isn't one. How about chocolate?

Sincerely,
Me

Dear God,

Please ma'am, could you shift the axis of the earth just a pinch so that New England becomes a tropical paradise.

It's just too cold here and I think I'm stuck here until I die (relationship, home ownership, older pets... you know. Those grown-up responsibility things)

Thank you.

spazz

Dear (insert your All-Powerful Being of Choice):
Can I Please get warm again? I'll even take being warm for say - 1 week if it isn't asking too much! 100 degs in the summer is Not too hot for me so please can I Just have hmmmm 70 in the winter? I'll sacrifice Spazzdog if you need me too! (no wait...thats not right) I'll give up posting threads for a whole day!
Yours Truly
Kathie -Im cold and hate it - MacV
aka CorsairMac

(cripes I can't remember my Real name anymore!)

Dear Outdoor Apparel Designers,

What do you have against us girls? Just what does it take to design tights that go full length of the leg and jerseys that accomodate boobs? What, you've never looked at the feminine form or you don't believe our money is as valuable as the boys?

SK

PS - Thanks for bringing pink back into fashion.

Dear Ambulance Drivers,

The bike lane is not there to collect broken automobile glass.


Dear Redneck Truck Driver,

If I need to pick my teeth, I'll use my bathroom mirror. I don't need to use your rearview mirror.


Dear Pearl Izumi People,

How do you figure one yard of stretchy material is worth $100?

Dear Discovery Channel,

Now that you sponsor a team, can you please start televising more cycling events - maybe even WOMEN'S events??? I promise I'll watch every commercial and maybe even buy something if I can see more coverage. I need inspiration during the winter when I'm on my trainer, even if it's taped events from six months before!

Dear Dubya

You say you want to reduce our need for foreign oil by, oh, say let's drill the Alaska Wilderness? I've got two words for you...oh, not those words...this is a family forum, how about these ...."bike lanes"? We could even name them for you like those memorial freeways, the Nimitz here and such, or landscape them with shrubs and bushes.

It'd take care of our big, fat obesity epidemic and the smog issue too! Just ask your Texan buddy Lance

Thanks

Trek

Dear Homebuilders,
Could you please build the new communities in the flat, boring desert areas and leave our mountain biking areas to us and the coyotes?

Dear Road Builders,
If you really must lay asphalt in the desert, could you please make the streets wide enough for bike lanes?

Dear City Planners,
Could you please keep in mind that people need to get exercise, recreate, and might like to use something other than a car to commute? I know all the progress is great for our financial well-being, but it would be nice if the new developments were people-friendly.

Jan

Dear Very Fast Drivers,

I realize that 70 mph is too slow for you and it's very important for you to get there 30 seconds faster, but can you give me time to get out of your way before you give me the bird or flash your lights at me?

(Gawd, I have so many others...)

Dear Weather Gods,

Could you please make your minds up. I enjoy cold or hot. I just need consistency so I can adjust. :D

Dear Employers

Please can a really cool company phone me up later today offering me a great job that's close to home, pays well, offers lots of annual holiday for cycling trips, is incredibly interesting and also fulfilling.


Dear Mightymitre

Please can you pull your finger out, get your act together, get out there and go find that super job mentioned above.

Dear Person Spinning next to me:

Ever heard of Beano?

LOL

Poor Dogmama.

V

Quote:

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Dear Person Spinning next to me - ever heard of Beano:

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Erm - what's Beano?

Well you know the effect beans have on most people? Beano keeps that from happening.

V.