Question about general ride etiquette

This has been bothering me (on the fringes of my brain) since Sunday, so I thought I'd ask you all what you think. The back story is as follows:

On Sunday, DH and I joined a 'Rites of Spring' organized ride. We opted for the 62 mile route even though we aren't in super shape yet because we are in training for a century on May 5th. We also knew the route, so we kept a fairly easy pace early on, knowing that there was some heafty climbing at the mid-way point and beyond. It is also worth noting that it was our first 'hot' ride of the season as temps were above 85F and it was sunny.

At the 25 mile mark, we separated from the 42-mile riders and were pretty much alone on the 62-mile route as most of those who chose this route were faster and fitter than us. At about 42 miles into the ride, we came to the first rest stop. While we filled our water bottles, a group of 3 riders joined us at the stop and then 2 more single riders after them (one in full kit from a local club). The 'full-kit' guy headed out ahead of us, then us, then the group of three behind us...no idea about the last guy. There was an arrow missing on a turn, so the kit-guy went the wrong way. We also went the wrong way by about 200 yards before I realized what we had done. As we turned around, the kit-guy came back and ended up following us back onto the route where we ended up right behind the group of 3 who hadn't missed the turn.

So in the next mile or so, the group of 3 basically dropped us (not that we were riding as a group or anything), so it was just DH, myself and kit-guy. When I was in the lead, we were all together. Then kit-guy was in the lead and DH and I dropped back a bit...we were running out of steam quickly. Kit guy turned to strike up conversation occasionally, and we usually caught him on the hills as well. Anyway, with about 5 miles to go to the end, kit-guy missed another turn (saw the arrow as he rode past it) and pointed it out to DH and I. We made the turn and he came back in behind us. DH and I really both wanted this ride to be over, so I think we picked up the pace a bit. I was so focused on keeping my feet moving and not throwing up (I was really having a rough time) that I never looked behind me. Aparently, neither did DH. When we finally turned into the park at the finish, kit-guy was not behind us. I kept an eye out for him and when he got to the lunch area, DH smiled and said "thank goodness that's over with, huh?" in a joking way. Kit-guy replied with "Thanks for pulling me in" and walked away. This exchange happened behind my back, so I didn't see his expression, but I could not tell from his voice if he was kidding or if he was serious and pissed at us.

So...here is my question. Should we have slowed and pulled him in? We were dragging our own asses so much, that I have a hard time believing that this guy who was fitter and more experienced than us couldn't keep up. I honestly had thought that he must have stopped at a store to get gatorade (the rest stop had run out) and didn't give it another thought. We didn't know the guy (still don't know his name), we rode with him for about 5 miles total, and he never expressed any problems to us...should we have watched out for him?

What is the etiquette rules on this one?

Are you sure he was being sarcastic? He might have really been thankful for the company while it lasted, and wanted to let you know it was appreciated? I usually will try to thank folks who let me hang on, even if was just for a short time. Also, I have never felt obligated to drop back or pull in a stranger on a ride.

Sounds like kit-guy was a Fred, and he really did appreciate your help.
If he's been riding much time at all, he knew you guys were tired and slowing down too.
You did fine!

So difficult to guess without having been there. Why do you think full-kit guy was fitter than you?

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Originally Posted by SadieKate

So difficult to guess without having been there. Why do you think full-kit guy was fitter than you?

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Mostly because he looked it. :o Plus, he obviously rode the first half of the ride at a much faster clip than us, because he told us that he had a blow out at mile 10 or so and had to borrow a tube from someone, and yet he caught up to us.



At first, we totally thought he was serious about his 'thank you'...but the more we thought about it, we both started to wonder if he was giving us a hard time. We ride alone a LOT, so we thought we must have broken some unspoken rule or something....

I guess it is possible that he was legitimately thanking us.

Edited to add: He was in full kit, but it was obvious that it wasn't a brand new look for him. You could see that his clothing wasn't newly purchased even though it was all matching and he was riding his old bike (a nice cannondale) while his new one was in the shop for something.

I think you did all right, and did absolutely nothing wrong.

Because I'm an up-front kind of girl, often ride on my own, but don't mind sharing the burden of wind with other cyclists I meet on the road, I might have acted a bit differently from the start. After a kilometer or two I might have said up front "Do you want us to ride together for a while?" if I wanted to share the wind with him, and if he said yes, I'd say, "What about XYZ-distance-or-time relays?". That way it's explicit that we're drafting off each other and that none of us will be doing all the work. Maybe I would consider adding "If you want to go ahead just let me know... I'm taking my time/don't want to burn my legs I have a race tomorrow/am not very fit and wouldn't want to hold you back/etc."

That sort of exchange does create sort of an obligation (a mild one, mind you!) to stick around each other until one or the other clearly says "ok I'm dropping you" or the other says "you can drop me you know don't worry about it".

The short exchange also gives me a chance to gauge the skill-level of the other rider. I don't mind someone who's not fit, but I don't want to ride behind someone who doesn't know how to behave in a paceline. If I realize it's unfortunately the case, I will find a way to break our little contract.

I don't like drafting off others or having others draft behind me without explicit consent. Drafting is a dangerous thing, the person in the front has lots of responsibilities, so I need to trust that person, and the person behind me has to trust me. So I'd rather be clear on things.

But I'm a safety-freak.

Good luck on your training!!

Sounds like he had a blowout from overdoing it for the first part of the ride. You caught him on the hills. Don't worry about him. It's not that big a deal. Drafting is a two-way partnership, if there is even acknowledgement of the partnership. The person in front needs to be sure the people behind are staying on, but the people in back have equal responsibility to tell the person in front if a gap opens.

Grog put it very, very well. And don't let appearances fool you into thinkig the person is fitter or more skilled than you. Observe and watch first.

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Originally Posted by SadieKate

The person in front needs to be sure the people behind are staying on, but the people in back have equal responsibility to tell the person in front if a gap opens.

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And the person in the back is not very likely to admit there's a gap if they think they're fitter than you. :) They'd rather slug away in silent pain and shame in the back!!!

Definitely do not worry about it!!

I always tell this story... when I was membership director for my bike club, it was my job to go around and greet each new member/rider. So one Saturday this guy shows up. I checked his bike and equipment. He is riding a very expensive bike with full Campy Record, wearing Assos clothing (a full kit) and wearing the $200+ Atmos helmet and those $400 Sidi shoes. He looked fit. He asked me which ride should he do. I looked at the short, medium and long rides and told him the long of course. It was a good route.

About 15 miles into the long ride, I was, as always sweeping in as last and I found him sitting on the curb under an freeway overpass. He looked just beat. I pulled over and asked if he was OK. He told me he was just wiped out. This was the longest ride he had ever done. What? it was only 15 miles (the ride total was 43). He then told me he just got the bike lat weekend and this was his second ride.

Moral: You cannot judge a book for its cover and a $8,000 bike and $1000 in gear and clothing don't a good biker make!

Sounds like you were cordial and nice to the other cyclist. I have a feeling he was alittle frustrated getting lost and all. Not your problem. He could have stayed with you.

Great Story BCIPAM!


It makes sense to me too, the guy started off way too fast and wore himself out!

I would also say the odds were he was thanking you for pulling him in - tho' impossible to say for sure.

Since he used that phrase, that adds to the evidence that he's got at least some experience. You rode together for a good chunk of the ride. I think most people are the "silent-communication" types (and could learn a little from Grog :))... If he had expected you to hang back and pull him all the way in, then I think he'd have been hanging back for you, earlier. It sounds like he was appreciating the bits of help along the way, really, because
a: he was worn down bcause he was riding his slower bike and having to work harder,
B: he had had to ride extra because he kept missing turns (which was probably because he'd already fried himself going out too hard)
C: he probably didn't quite have enough to hang with you and at a certain point, yea, I know I just want to be able to have my own fits and starts and not make people wonder why I'm with 'em, then without 'em.

and D: remember, he was exhausted... so if his words sort of didn't *quite* make sense and no, you didn't "pull him in" as in all the way, but ... you did pull him through probably that really rough "will this *ever be over* part of the ride.