Testimony - definitely bawdy!

A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as some
churches call it "Cry Sunday", took the microphone from one of the church
ushers, and bared her soul to the suddenly attentive congregation:

"I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, suffered
this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway
and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but
thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum."

The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were
obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. "Jim has been in terrible pain
all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble
swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain,
andhe has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold
them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can
no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a
pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into
oblivion.

I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray
for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new."

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this
terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly
shaken up with the thought that, "there but for the grace of God go I."

Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the
congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted
the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the
congregation:

"My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill. That
word is:
STERNUM!"