Taking a pictures. Yes, I'm whining some.

[KSH]

OK, maybe some of you can relate. Maybe not. And yes, this is a bit of a whine session.

So, my dear boyfriend, for my Birthday... trying to be creative and fresh with his gift giving... gave me a session with a photographer. Very sweet of him to think of me and to try to surprise me with a wonderful gift.

The problem?

Well, I'm the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. Seriously. I have never weighed this much, or had this much fat on my body before. I DO NOT feel attractive. So, the thought of having to "look pretty" in pictures is making me sick to my stomach.

So, the next logical step... is for me to lose the pounds. Which I can do. But, I have to do it when I'm not riding 3-4 days a week, and training for tri's.... because I can't train on 1600 calories a day. And for me to lose my weight... I need to live on 1600 calories a day.

With that said... living on 1600 calories a day is MISERABLE. I'm grumpy, light-headed, can't think straight... just plain miserable. But I can do it when I need to get skinny again. Of course these days, just living my every day life... I don't care about being that skinny... so I don't try to make myself miserable on 1600 calories a day.

Basically, the thought of having to take these freaking pictures is stressing me out beyond belief. To get them done I have to:

1) Diet for 2 months to lose 10 pounds.
2) Get my hair done.
3) Find a makeup artist to make me look good in the pictures.

This doesn't really seem like a gift to me. It's just stress.

Yes, I talked to him about it... and told him how I felt... and he got really upset that I didn't like his gift and thought I was being silly. Then he told me to just call the lady and see what she can do.

Well... she can't make me thin... so... whatever. Sure, there is air brushing... but dang... I don't want to not look like me. If I have to air brushed THAT much, what's the point?

UUUGGGGHHH!!!!!

I suggested to him that I might call to see if she could refund his money... but again... he got upset.

Yea... I dread the idea of taking these pictures. DREAD IT.

[mimitabby]

there's no deadline for the picture is there? put it off until you are ready for it.

btw
when you get to be my age you're going to look at these pictures and say
oh, i looked so nice back then. why couldn't I see it?

[Bluetree]

KSH,
So you have to have it done right away? Perhaps you can wait until after the season. Or better yet, plan a photo date months in advance, insist that your BF be in the pictures... and challenge him to lose as much weight as you!

[DebW]

Maybe the photog can take pics of your bike instead of you. Just wipe her down, lube her chain, and she'll be looking real pretty. :D

[Bluetree]

Maybe the photog can take pics of your bike instead of you. Just wipe her down, lube her chain, and she'll be looking real pretty. :D

Cool idea, Deb. Maybe an action shot with you on your bike in full gear... pick a nice scenic spot and make sure the photog captures you in all your powerhouse glory!

[pooks]

Ditto that. I think photos made in a special place biking would be great.

Do these photos have a particular purpose? Because the other thing is, he likes the way you look. Have the pics made, give them to him, then don't worry about it. It's not like 2nd grade where all your aunts and uncles have to get copies!

[Pedal Wench]

After a bike tour this summer, I was complaining to a friend that it seemed like we ended up with 200 pictures of my big, fat bottom. All the pictures were taken by my BF of me cycling up ahead of him. She simply said, "Obviously, he liked what he was seeing." Made my day! Seriously, your BF must be liking what he's seeing right now. Take the picture, give it to him and forget about it!

[spokewench]

What everyone said! You don't have to be thin to be beautiful! You are beautiful and you are fit and healthy and glowing I'm sure! After all you are a TE girl!

He must love you the way you are even if you think you could lose a few pounds. I think we woman can always think we cna lose a few pounds

I really like the idea of the picture on your bike or standing near your bike in a beautiful outdoor setting! IT will be something both you and your BF can like!

[li10up]

Girl if you look like the photo in your avatar you need to just hush up and say cheese!!!!:D

[Grog]

KSH, dearest KSH!

If you are riding 3-4 times a week and training for tris, you must be pretty fit, and who cares if you weight more than you've ever weighted. Although you don't seem to think so, you certainly look fit, too. We're so tough on ourselves, needlessly so. You definitely don't need to put yourself down.

Getting some outdoorsy pictures also sounds like a great idea to me.

Another thing: I have had the chance to work with professional photographers (taking pictures of me) a few times in my life. It's always been great, and the results were always impressive, even when I didn't have the best opinion of my looks at a given time. They know how to get a flattering angle, that's their job. Your job is to SMILE.

[Bikingmomof3]

What everyone else said. :)

[rheidis73]

KSH..I have seen you personally and did not think that you were anywhere what you are saying. I was looking at your legs whenwe were riding and I was thinking how much quad muscle you had. Of course, I do realize, that us women can be the hardest on ourselves..especially with the body.

But, if you don't feel comfortable with it now, do wait to when you will have a good time on that day...

[emily_in_nc]

How about just a head shot? No body needs to be involved at all, if you don't want it to... :D

I agree with the others, though, your avatar looks amazing. Unless you've gained significant weight since that pic was taken, you have nothing to worry about. You are downright hot! :D

Emily

[Melstar]

Basically, the thought of having to take these freaking pictures is stressing me out beyond belief. To get them done I have to:

1) Diet for 2 months to lose 10 pounds.
2) Get my hair done.
3) Find a makeup artist to make me look good in the pictures.

This doesn't really seem like a gift to me. It's just stress.

Well i think its a cool gift from you partner. Just enjoy the experience of a photoshoot. Its not as if you're intending to build up a portfolio or something to try to land the right modelling agency. Just be the star for the day and have fun :) thats probably what your partner wanted... so sweet!

I'm not sure if its a simple photography studio, but most of the time they should have someone who could help you out with simple make-up and styling. Maybe call and find out?

As for air brushing work, it is super common industry practise so its not as if you're cheating... the idea is to look good right? Seriously everyone does it: remove blemishes, birthmarks, even moley girls.

Finally, since this is going to be something personal and this time the guy is working for you and not the other way round... don't feel intimidated to communicate with the photographer. Although they say that the camera adds pounds to a person, there are also ways to make anyone look good. Relax, and have fun otherwise your stress would translate into awkward pictures.. but most importantly hear what the photographer has to say... they might have an idea or two.

Who knows, you might end up enjoying the experience... and come back vying for more next time round :D

HAve fun

[Aggie_Ama]

I think he wanted a nice picture of a woman he finds beautiful and important. Real men see us as beautiful no matter the size. DH and I have been together nine years Friday. He married me when I was at my heaviest and said I was radiant that day. :)

The other thing is a professional photographer is going to take the pictures at your most flattering angle. When we took our engagement portraits one month before our wedding I was at the biggest I have ever been. I am now a size 6-8 but in these photos I was a 12-14. I weighed 30 pounds more than I do now, 45 pounds more than my *personal* ideal weight a year later. The point I am getting at is these are some of my best pictures. The pictures from our honeymoon one month later look horrible. I look at them and remember how great it was but also marvel at how chunky I was. I think I look about 10-15 pounds heavier than the engagement photos! Never underestimate what having a professional behind the lense and in the darkroom can do for a photo. :D