What would you do? Sorry, long.

[Derf]

I wanted to get some opinions on something. Okay, since January, I have worked out twice a week at gym with personal trainer. Fairly good size gym, but you do see the same people over and over. I got to know my trainer fairly well over the last several months and she has seen pictures of my dog, husband, etc. She knows about my job, family, you get the picture. In turn, I've learned that she used to have an eating disorder and had sex with some dude earlier this summer because he was "kind of" forcing her to and she didn't know how to get out of the situation.

Back in May she totally flaked on scheduling one of my sessions. I was annoyed, but she apologized and that was that. However, she frequently runs late which annoys me since I meet with her in the evening after long day of work and we do new program every two weeks, but it's obvious that sometimes she hasn't planned it before hand and is doing it on the fly. Also, if she's starving she has no energy so something has to eat snacks while she trains me.

Latest thing was that on Monday night, we were doing my workout and she told me to jump up on an upside down bosu ball so we could lift weights. I told her I didn't want to jump up on it cause I was worried I'd break my ankle. We joked around me saying no, her saying yes and finally I did it and I fell. I was okay right after, but by next day in a lot of pain. I had to have x-ray and it turns out I sprained/strained the bottom of my foot.

I left her a message letting her know I wouldn't be in tonight and what happened, but she hasn't called me back.

So, the question is, is it time to trade her in for a different trainer? Sorry this is so long. I feel really torn about this because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I guess I should mention that I pay about $50 per hour session. Thx.

[KnottedYet]

I would get another trainer.

If she were your friend, yes, you stick to her and deal. But she isn't your friend, she is your employee. You pay her. She works for you.

If you really like her, switch trainers but start asking her to do "friend" stuff with you instead.

PS. I never make a patient do an exercise they honestly don't feel they can do. Because usually they are right! It's my job to modify the exercise to one they can do and that will still challenge them. (and maybe give them confidence and strength to advance to the harder one I tried to have them do first.) A trainer is supposed to do the same thing.

[DDH]

I wish I could get a trainer, but be that as it may, if I had one and she was like that, I would get another.
Sounds like she has made friends with you and now is (maybe not intentionally) taking advantage of your kindness and friendship and not taking her job as seriously.

For some reason you can't seem to pay someone and still be friends with them. Or be someone's boss and still be friends with them. Most people, (not all) cannot keep the two seperate.

[Lise]

I agree. Get another trainer. She's done several unprofessional things. The latest was unsafe. I always ask myself, "Do I want to keep paying for this?" That usually gets me to move on.

[Derf]

I agree. Get another trainer. She's done several unprofessional things. The latest was unsafe. I always ask myself, "Do I want to keep paying for this?" That usually gets me to move on.

Yeah. I am mad at myself for jumping on the ball when I didn't have a comfort level with the whole thing. It's been a major inconvenience since I had to take 1/2 day off of work to go get the x-ray and now can't go to gym for a week.

[Raindrop]

I'm a personal trainer running my own business and hearing these type of stories always piss me off since it tends to make the business of personal training flakey. Trust me, a professional would never conduct business like that and even those that work in a gym environment should be held to higher standards than that.

First things first. Terminate your contract with this trainer. You're paying good money for professionalism, and although clients can be hurt while training, the lack of professionalism during your sessions may have been a red flag. A good trainer never does a program "on the fly". If you raise doubts about a movement or training methodology and the trainer doesn't explain or modify the movement for your ability then you have a reasonable right to question (legally) their ability to train you.

I have had many clients that have turned into good friends, but that has never allieviated the responsibility I have to provide them the professionalism they deserve, and expected when they hired me.

[Derf]

I'm a personal trainer running my own business and hearing these type of stories always piss me off since it tends to make the business of personal training flakey. Trust me, a professional would never conduct business like that and even those that work in a gym environment should be held to higher standards than that.

First things first. Terminate your contract with this trainer. You're paying good money for professionalism, and although clients can be hurt while training, the lack of professionalism during your sessions may have been a red flag. A good trainer never does a program "on the fly". If you raise doubts about a movement or training methodology and the trainer doesn't explain or modify the movement for your ability then you have a reasonable right to question (legally) their ability to train you.

I have had many clients that have turned into good friends, but that has never allieviated the responsibility I have to provide them the professionalism they deserve, and expected when they hired me.

Great to hear from someone who does this for a living. Thank you. We start a new program every other Monday and sometimes she'll say, "oh, have we done this exercise before for shoulders?" that kind of thing. I always thought the eating during training was bad, but when she asked if I cared would say no cause I didn't want her dragging during the session. Also, part of me is surprised that she didn't call today to see if I am okay.

[Melstar]

I'm with the other girls on this one... you need a new fitness trainer! Spraining your leg is a good enough reason.

[Bikingmomof3]

You have received good advice all of which I agree with. Itg is time to find a different trainer. I hope your sprain heals quickly.

[DeniseGoldberg]

I am appalled at the behavior of your trainer, and I also agree with all of the gals who have already answered. Ditch her!

Also - if she is certified, or if she has a relationship with the gym you are using, I would write to those organizations and report this poor behavior and poor training habits / ethics. You are paying her good money, and you are trusting her with your health. It sounds like she doesn't deserve your trust.

--- Denise

[Geonz]

.... and if you're feeling a little guilty about it... this lady's in over her head. Who else is she hurting? If losing customers means she goes to talk to one of her friends or a counselor or somebody about putting a few things together in her life... that would be a good thing. Eventually something worse could happen.

[JamamaSpoke]

It is absolutely time to trade her in it is also time to register a complaint with the gym you are at. Did you say you pay $50 an hour :eek: ? For that kind of money she should be waiting for you at the gym with a killer workout she stayed up all night working on!

[cherinyc]

Hey Melstar - haven't seen you before - Is the picture in your avator of you? If you have another pic of your hair cut - I would reall like to see it.
Sorry, this is kind of...off-track, but....something about that haircut....

BTW - Derf - I have had a personal trainer before, one was an old teacher in college, Tallahassee, FL (he was getting his PhD in Phys Ed, so it was super cheap) and the other was a trainer from a Bally's gym - back when I was living in New York City.
Neither of them acted like this woman - and were always on-time, had a plan, a chart, knew my capabilities, etc. In New York I would go before work too - which meant I was at the gym at 6am - and he was always there waiting for me.
It's too expensive of a service to have someone doing a halfa$$ job.
Just my opinion.

[mimitabby]

The gym also has a liability issue here. If they knew what she did to you
"get on the ball" they would fire her because it opens them up to serious lawsuits.

[Melstar]

:) Hi cheryinc.





"get on the ball" they would fire her because it opens them up to serious lawsuits.

hahah nicely put. Getting the ball rolling.

[Derf]

Thanks everyone! I totally appreciate the advise. I got in to work today and she'd left a message on my voice mail at 2 a.m. saying she felt bad about my foot and wanted to know how I'm doing, etc. Said she hadn't called sooner because she didn't check her messages all day. :(

I did speak to the guy that manages the trainers and let him know why I was thinking about switching. He mentioned that he'd talked to her before about her tardiness. Anyways, I think I know what I have to do, just kind of dreading it.

Thanks again!

[spokewench]

First, if you are not on the same page with your trainer - i.e. why is she starving herself. This is not a good sign and you do not want a trainer telling you to do stupid things!

Yes, you can get hurt sometimes when training even with a trainer, but your trainer, should listen to you if you really don't want to do somethings. This is a fine line however, because your trainer may need to you to things you really don't want to do but things that will not hurt you. So be careful with this.