Justifying your bike buys to non-biking SOs and trying to spread the addiction

[Kitsune06]

I'm wondering if anyone else out there has this problem...

When you're thus engrossed in an addiction (Let's call it 'biking') ;)
there are often things you see that you 'need'. Like Disc brakes so you don't smush your skull on rocks or cramp your hands right off. Naturally you need a new wheelset (a disc-compatible one) to go with these brakes, and if you want to cut corners and get mechanical brakes, then go with Avids and then Full Metal Jackets to increase your braking power...

Well... but if you're in the saddle a long time, and your butt starts to hurt, you need a nice(r) saddle. How about a Brooks? People swear by them, they're stylish (c'mon, try to say no to black leather and rivets!)

And being on your bike thus long, you feel able to commute. Can you say panniers?

If you're training, or even just doing long rides for fun, you need fuel and electrolytes. That's Hammer gel, a flask, and endurolytes or elete. (or cytomax, accellerade, etc)

Then you want to maximize your power in pedaling. That says pedals, cleats and shoes.

You can see where I'm going here. If your SO is a non-biker, (s)he looks at the hammer gel and electrolytes and says "Why on earth are you biking so HARD when it's hot out?! Why not just STOP when you get tired?!" or the pedals "Why do you need clips!? You do just fine without them!" Saddle- "You don't HAVE to go 20+ miles in a day, for ***'s sake!" Panniers "Hello- Backpack?" Disc brakes "...Don't your brakes work well enough already? Why on earth are you going down hills like that anyway?! You might get killed! That's reckless endangerment!"
:rolleyes:
Is there any explaining it?
I tried valiantly to get her into it... and now just to get fit, she's taking short rides with me... but she insists on borrowing my bike and having me carry the locks, water, repair kits, etc.
Ugh.

[kelownagirl]

I'm laughing out loud at your post. It's so true. I guess I'm lucky (or maybe not depending on how broke I am) that my SO is equally obsessed. One of us buys something and the other needs one too. We feed off each other. I don't want to think how much money we've spent on biking gear this year. If it equals about $1 / km, then it's money well spent....

Good luck in getting her addicted though - it's nice to have something active to do together...

[doc]

My husband is immune to the addiction. Therefore I try to hide my new acquisitions from him. I was unsuccessful hiding the new road bike.

The upside of not sharing the addiction; He watches the kids while I ride. If we both were to ride, one of us would have to stay home and be annoyed. So it works out well for us. I just have to make sure to make time for him to go to the gym.

[Bad JuJu]

Yeah, good luck with sucking your SO into the madness. I've tried and tried with mine, but the most I've been able to get him to do is about 10-12-mile rides, in cotton tank, running shorts, and sneakers. ("Well, of course you're uncomfortable in that get-up!") He finally gave up his crummy discount-store bike and got a somewhat better ride in a trade--he wasn't willing to actually buy a new bike. He seems more comfortable now, but the bike still spends more time collecting dust than running the roads.:(

Lately, he's started to accumulate a little gut that he's not very happy with, so my next strategy is to persuade him that cycling is the way to get rid of it. Keep your fingers crossed!

[im4smiley]

I have tried to get hubby involved but...he would rather do his walking...which I dislike..so when I buy something new for biking..esp clothing...I always tell him I got it on sale and hide the reciepts. :eek:

[crazycanuck]

I don't give ian a choice when i want to buy biking items...For example, i love the lights he makes but i wanted something lighter & one which would last longer. I found one on ebay, worked my magic and now have some cateye double shots coming my way....

I must add though, we don't go to malls very often unless we have to and own tons of stuff. I'd much rather go biking or swimming or read than go shopping....

(Ian's a biker too)

c

[mimitabby]

my husband was a biker before i was. I liked to go hiking and then he got plantar fascitis and couldn't. so one year we really just sat and glowered. i realized that if i wanted US to be healthy ONE of us was going to have to change. and i asked him to train me for the STP double century.
Spending? I really tried to bite my tongue through most of his expeditures (why do you need more than 1 pair of bike s horts? why do you need more than 5 jerseys?) you need ANOTHER pair of gloves? your bike needs a WHAT?
we could open a small store with all the tubes and tires he's purchased and i have no idea if ANY of the tires not on the bikes are any good.
but now.. here i am... you're going to the LBS? can i go too? I need a new mirror for my bike, and some socks, and i just want to check out the jerseys...
but to answer your question: here's some responses for you:

Look how nice I look! if you let me buy this cool saddle, it will enable me to continue to shape and harden these legs and keep my attitude good!

I could be buying (fill in the blank here) instead!

biking is a healthy habit!

[Nanci]

I had this friend, when I was into horses, who was the world's expert on hiding stuff. She'd either say it was mine, and she was just borrowing it, or I'd sold it to her really cheap, or "Oh, I've had that _forever_, I can't believe you've never seen it!" I mean, she could sneak in saddles and everything!

Her best sneak, though, was a bigger, WAY better diamond for her ring. (Oh, how she got money was "gleaning," like she'd write a check at the grocery store for more than the amount, and save the money). So she gets the super-diamond, and has it put in her ring, and her _dad_ notices, and she says (this is great!!) Oh, I just got it cleaned, doesn't it look better?"

[mimitabby]

My husband can't lie and he can't sneak (he also doesn't keep gossipy secrets too well).

Not to mention he buys everything with a credit card and leaves a record!

[Tater]

Thankfully, I don't have to sneak any of my bike related purchases. Mr. Tater is very supportive of my habit and doesn't mind me spending a few bucks to make sure my backside is happy. He knows I put everything to good use, so he's okay with it. Even when I sign up for an organized ride, he's out the night before putting the floor pump and other incidentals in the truck so they aren't forgotten in the morning. He gets a kick not just being my 'driver' to these events, but he likes to tell his co-workers, 'yeah, she rode one hundred miles this weekend. In one day!' He's so sweet! As for getting him on a bike, that will happen as soon as we can get the back brake overhauled on his Scott. He doesn't want to put up mad mileage, but has expressed interest in doing a metric century at least once.

Kits, good luck with your situation!

[pooks]

My situation is a convinced him to get a bike with me. We both have bikes but I have more time (and I'm pretty sure) determination to ride. Four or five miles in the morning before work would suit him just fine. I'm the one pushing to do the 40-mile livestrong, and he thinks it's way too much.

Sigh.

I have a feeling I may be ready for the 40 and he won't, and it will bruise his ego if I do it w/o him. Plus I don't want to do it w/o him. So I may end up doing the 10 and then having him tell everybody that I came to my senses.

Grrrr.

[Bad JuJu]

The chief (my SO) is variably supportive. Since he's not much of a cyclist, he tends not to understand multiple purchases (jerseys, gloves, water bottles) or what he considers exorbitant purchases ("You paid HOW much for a pair of shorts?") So he sometimes razzes me about how much I spend on cycling gear, but not too much, since we each keep our discretionary income separate from the other's. Also, like Mr. Tater, he displays a certain amount of pride in telling his buddies how much cycling I do, so he can't in good conscience complain too much about the expense.:D

[KnottedYet]

Kitsune - if she's borrowing YOUR bike when you guys go on rides, I'd say she knows a good bike when she rides it. Maybe she needs her OWN good bike.... Then she can start buying stuff, too.

When DPITA got her bike and started riding with me, she went whole-hog ordering goodies from Nashbar. I've had 3 bikes in the time she's had 1, and I've been getting little goodies here and there... (little? um, maybe not really little)

Now I've got grand plans for a steel tourer build-up. Dunno if I can justify that one to her. We keep our finances seperate, but she knows how much I owe on my car, Visa, etc, and will give me "the look" if I spend more money right now.

[Trek420]

Knotted, if she gives you "the look", flash those abs :D

Somewhere here we have a thread on "In Praise of Cycling Single"

down side-not being a D.I.N.K., far less discretionary income

up side-I don't need to hide, justify, or glean a thing :D

[KnottedYet]

Heee heeee! "Let me buy one of THOSE, and you can have some of THIS."

:D



Edit: Trek, you are good for the ego. I didn't even think of the abs, and certainly didn't think they were the best part of that picture.

[Fuji Girl]

Justifying the saddle is easy. "Honey, did you know there's a documented relationship between sexual dysfunction and your bike saddle? Would you like a copy of the article to peruse over dinner?"

The same goes for new bike shorts. "Honey, I'm just not in the mood tonight. Those old bike shorts have SUCH a bad chamois - I'm all chafed!"

Good luck with the other stuff.

[DirtDiva]

There are some real advantages to being a single girl, you know... ;)

[Trek420]

let's see if DirtDiva and I can think of any....

* no checking with DPITA, DP. DH, D'anything (except Dear Dog) if you can ride. Want to ride? Go ride.

* can chug chocolate milk right from the container when you get home, nobody says ewwwww. Might have to stop that some day. :o

and best of all...

* gult free flirting with cute bikers on the ride

[DirtDiva]

Huh? I thought that's how you were supposed to drink chocky milk. :confused: ;) :D

[Trek420]

* when there are two bikes and the Cycleops in the living room, no one complains. (I will move the bikes upstairs, it's too da** hot to go upstairs).

* uninterupted TdF watching ("but I always watch _____ ")

[Aggie_Ama]

I have the opposite problem. DH was the cyclist first. We share all our money and I pay the bills. I know how empty or full the bank account is at all times. We are young, pretty fresh out of college, so it is usually closer to empty. DH thinks I deserve all the best (which I do of course) and the price tag is usually a minor detail.

We are dreaming of a new bike for me. I only have a $600 bike and I have put over 2k on it this year alone, so I definitely deserve a new bike. I was looking at $1500 bikes, DH asks why I am overlooking the $2300-2500 bikes. Hmmm, I wonder. I want a house, kiddos one day and to be able to eat something other than ramen!

The mountain bike debate is much less lively. He thinks I need one that is about $1200. I don't see myself riding it that often, so I think the ones that are about $500 will be just fine. He fianlly agreed I was (as usual) right.

[DirtDiva]

* You never have to cut a ride short because your mother in law is coming over for dinner.

* You can leave your heap of stinky bike clothes wherever you damned well please.

* Nobody ever asks you questions like "You used my toothbrush to clean WHAT?!?!?"

[mimitabby]

* You never have to cut a ride short because your mother in law is coming over for dinner.

* You can leave your heap of stinky bike clothes wherever you damned well please.

* Nobody ever asks you questions like "You used my toothbrush to clean WHAT?!?!?"

geez, being married isn't THAT bad!
we drink from the carton, do laundry when its necessary and the m-in-l
lives too far away to come for dinner.

I hated being single. the human being (me anyway) is a social creature.

[DirtDiva]

I may be a social creature, but I'm a selfish one too. ;)

[Trek420]

mimitabby "geez, being married isn't THAT bad!"

:p nobody's saying it's bad.

This is a D.I.N.K. (double income no kids, or maybe double income not lots and lots of kids) sport for some odd reason: maybe the cost, all the work on the equipment, the cost, the constant need for a lot of food and cooking....the cost....trying to reach the roof rack...

Being a single parent of a dog and a cyclist is tough sometimes. Sure, it would be great to share the sport with someone even just for the recovery meal.

I think what DirtDiva and I are saying it's good to remember there actually are advantages. Sure beats crying in our cytomax....or beer.

Oh, another one:
* no coordinating training schedules (I'm tired, she needs to ride hard).

[KnottedYet]

Hmmmmm... S.I.O.K.? S.I.S.K.? S.S.I.K.?

(seperate single income with Kid)

[Flatlander]

Three words:

Separate. Checking. Account.;)

[mtkitchn]

:eek: I don't have to justify the expense (his, mine and our accounts), but I have to justify the SPACE that stuff takes up. I just ordered a bike friday, which will be bike number three. The first thing out of DH's mouth (repeated many times)...."Where are you going to put a THIRD bike? Do you really need a THIRD bike?". Of course he doesn't like that number one is in the living room. We don't have a very large house and I certainly don't want my bikes sitting OUTSIDE!

[Kitsune06]

* Nobody ever asks you questions like "You used my toothbrush to clean WHAT?!?!?"

HA! Substitute virtually ANYTHING for toothbrush. The recent winner was 'clean, new dish towel' ... it met my newly cleaned and oiled chain. :eek: Hey! It hadda be clean, and what better way to get into the little crannies than with a nice, plushy new towel!? She scolded me with the above line and terminated it with "YOU'RE SUCH A GUY!" I was honestly hurt... and would've said so if I hadn't been in stitches!


* gult free flirting with cute bikers on the ride

I get that one. :D Boys are silly but not a threat. :D


Kitsune - if she's borrowing YOUR bike when you guys go on rides, I'd say she knows a good bike when she rides it. Maybe she needs her OWN good bike.... Then she can start buying stuff, too.

Tried it. She said "I don't spend enough time on my bike. You can ride yours when you ride alone." *sniff*


We keep our finances seperate, but she knows how much I owe on my car, Visa, etc, and will give me "the look" if I spend more money right now.
Bingo. Left to my own devices, I'd spend like an early 20 something with a biking habit. :rolleyes: but I owe her, my car, my Visa, etc etc, so... I either only get little things (tubes as I need them, patch kits as I need them, hammer gel, elete, etc) and little things I think I can either hide or slip under radar (bar ends to help climb, neat but irreverent stickers "Put the fun between your legs! <insert pic of bicycle under caption>" a jacket to replace my lost one, etc. It's hard b/c she's impervious to addiction in this way. She's saving to buy a brand new car in cash *shrug* so she knows how to manage her money- and I frustrate her endlessly. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, though. Once I pay off the visa and pay her back, I can supposedly start buying bike stuff again (or at least not have to triple check everything with her) :rolleyes:

Mercy.

[Kano]

I tried valiantly to get her into it... and now just to get fit, she's taking short rides with me... but she insists on borrowing my bike and having me carry the locks, water, repair kits, etc.
Ugh.

I know why THIS happens! I do it to DH (and I'm the one with the addiction) all the time! She's weighing you down so she can keep up with you!

Karen in Boise

[Bad JuJu]

Three words:

Separate. Checking. Account.;)

Roger that, Flatlander. LOL :D

[CycleChic06]

I substitute SO for non-biking friends. When I bought my new bike, they could not understand why anyone would spend that much on a bike. Then my roommate went out and bought a big screen TV for the same amount of money I had just spend on my new bike...and THAT they could understand, and I could not.

[Kitsune06]

I know why THIS happens! I do it to DH (and I'm the one with the addiction) all the time! She's weighing you down so she can keep up with you!

Karen in Boise

*cries* is that why she's always a speck on the horizon ahead of me?!

That girl has some legs and she never hesitates to put them to use...

...walking all over me. ;)

[stella]

Kitsune,

I have the same problem, my s.o. is not a cyclist and will never be! I've tried, she just won't convert!

I used to have a disposable income and was able to purchase what I wanted/when I wanted. Then I returned to grad school full-time, now my s.o. pays all the bills. Here's what I do now:

1. prioritize my list of "most wanted bike stuff"
2. ask for the cycling stuff as anniversary/birthday/x-mas gifts.
3. She loves a good wine (I don't): I total up how much she spends on the wine and say: "Since I don't drink, how about we put the equivalent $$ towards (insert bike stuff here) I want?" Part of this rationale includes: "You still get to enjoy your wine and I get to enjoy my cycling, you get to enjoy the body cycling gives me..." OR: "wine is gone, the cyclng stuff lasts!"
4. hit yard sales, craigslist for good deals on stuff. I was able to get a used brooks saddle for $20.00 for my beater bike. It was on a bike in an outdoors shop as part of a Thule rack display. I bartered w/the owner and he sold me the saddle!

I was able to get myself a new brooks saddle for my road bike this year using #3.

I hope these tips help!

[mimitabby]

Kitsune,

I have the same problem, my s.o. is not a cyclist and will never be! I've tried, she just won't convert!

I used to have a disposable income and was able to purchase what I wanted/when I wanted. Then I returned to grad school full-time, now my s.o. pays all the bills. Here's what I do now:

1. prioritize my list of "most wanted bike stuff"
2. ask for the cycling stuff as anniversary/birthday/x-mas gifts.
3. She loves a good wine (I don't): I total up how much she spends on the wine and say: "Since I don't drink, how about we put the equivalent $$ towards (insert bike stuff here) I want?" Part of this rationale includes: "You still get to enjoy your wine and I get to enjoy my cycling, you get to enjoy the body cycling gives me..." OR: "wine is gone, the cyclng stuff lasts!"
4. hit yard sales, craigslist for good deals on stuff. I was able to get a used brooks saddle for $20.00 for my beater bike. It was on a bike in an outdoors shop as part of a Thule rack display. I bartered w/the owner and he sold me the saddle!

I was able to get myself a new brooks saddle for my road bike this year using #3.

I hope these tips help!

Stella, these are good. I used #3 a few years ago when I wasn't biking and husband was and i wanted to go to Italy ( "your new bike cost X dollars so how about if i go to Italy and 1/2 of x= 1 ticket to fly there and the other 1/2 of x pays for my room!" )

[Quillfred]

I agree with Mimitabby on the vacation aspect. It is so easy to blow a few grand on a good vacation (air, hotel, rental car...).

Another tack might be to look at unhealthy habits that cost $$$. I'm thinking smoking and large amounts of alcohol could quickly make bike expenditures pale in comparison.

Cigarettes must be $5/pack/day roughly plus 4 beers a night = maybe $7 a day x 30 days = $210 a month x 12 = $630 a year. This does not include going out to drink costs :eek: which would push the cost much higher.

Plus I figure I save @$3 a day in gas money that I bike commute.

Quill

[stella]

Stella, these are good. I used #3 a few years ago when I wasn't biking and husband was and i wanted to go to Italy ( "your new bike cost X dollars so how about if i go to Italy and 1/2 of x= 1 ticket to fly there and the other 1/2 of x pays for my room!" )


Thanks, mimitabby. I know in our case, this tactic works b/c we each are getting something we want and enjoy + not being put down/or putting down what the other enjoys.

Funny you mentioned Italy, we plan on going back next year and the current compromise is: visiting a vineyard + the Colnago factory!

[mimitabby]

Yes, Quillfred, I agree. those of us with drinking/smoking spouses can generate ample bike funds by that comparison.

Lucky for me, my husband hasn't had a drink or a smoke in over 25 years..
:)

[stella]

quillfred: good idea re: the bad habits!

fortunately, the wine drinking is not a frequent occurance + we are a non-smoking household.

mimitabby: congrats to your hubby on no drinking or smoking for 25 years! quite an accomplishment to string that many 24 hours together!

[SJCzar]

My husband, the non-cyclist, never questions how much anything costs that is bike related. Since he doesn't bike, he has no clue how much it can all add up to.....this is probably a good thing. If he really wanted to know he'd ask, so I think he prefers to live in ignorant bliss. One of his coworkers, who recently retired, died of a heart attack. This has definitely put my husband in a "live life now...don't wait to do what you enjoy" mood.

[dachshund]

When my hobby-related packages arrive at the door, my GF just orders more shoes. :p

[Kitsune06]

Stella, that list is awesome. I'll have to think on that.

The 'bad habits' thing might give me a little leverage, just because she does enjoy a good wine, but is extremely frugal, so knows where to find what she wants for cheap. That and whatever bad habits she has, she enjoys sharing with me, and... I also enjoy partaking in. :rolleyes:

That said, though...
yeah, biking things (especially my biking things...) last forever... wine, beer and amusements generally don't.

She does, however, like it when I prove my need for things. I showed her the saddle I wanted, and then the measurement of my sitbones, and my saddle... told her what that means, and why it hurts (since she's never around when I go riding, or post-ride)
She said "Black leather with rivets?! It'll get stolen right off your bike!" Then I told her about the fact that it's hard leather and she said "How can that be comfortable?!" ...and I explained. Then she said "If it's so wide, how will you be able to get back behind it for downhills without lowering the seat? And if you lower the seat, you'd have to stop and put it back up or you'd strain your knees."
... and I gaped. :eek:

She's really been listening to my endless bike babble, not just waving it off! EEE!:p

...so maybe for my b-day or something.

[PinkBike]

everything new i get for my bike, DH wants for his. every occasion - birthday, christmas, upcoming anniversary - we give each other bike stuff. this is so cool. i got him his first mountain bike, then his first road bike, then his second road bike, pedals, jerseys and shorts galore, wheels, you name it! the thing is, he never rode before, so when i got him his first bike i didn't expect him to become an avid cyclist. he is so into it now, we can always find fun stuff to get for each other, and we really don't spend extravagantly on anything else. but our co-workers think we are aliens. i wish every couple could share a passion like this.

[stella]

kitsune,
is your GF an engineer type or scientist? It sounds like it from the way in which she positively responds to data.

if that is the case: add this to the list: data that proves that the wanted gear is also needed gear from a pragmatic, economical (in the long run) and logical perspective.

mine is a scientist: the more data the better.

[stella]

When my hobby-related packages arrive at the door, my GF just orders more shoes. :p

lol!

[Kitsune06]

kitsune,
is your GF an engineer type or scientist? It sounds like it from the way in which she positively responds to data.

if that is the case: add this to the list: data that proves that the wanted gear is also needed gear from a pragmatic, economical (in the long run) and logical perspective.

mine is a scientist: the more data the better.


Nope, but very right-brained, anyway. Data works well for her, though I don't think she can appreciate just *how* data-oriented she is. :rolleyes: This method has always served me well in the past, too. =)

[emily_in_nc]

Actually, left-brained is the logical, detail-oriented, data-oriented side; right brain folks are the artistic, creative ones.

I should know, I'm a left-brained software engineer in a family full of right-brain artists and actors! ;)

Emily

P.S. But my Dad was an architect - a great balance of left- and right-brain skills.

[Kitsune06]

AH! Argh. It seems like I get to work and my whole brain shuts down! Thanks, Emily =)

[SnappyPix]

Spreading the addiction ISN'T all good.
Managed to spread my addiction, and now we're both as bike/gear obsessed as one another!
That's great in some respects (equally matched so always someone to ride with on events/races, etc), but not in others:


Trips to the LBS become REALLY expensive when one of us wants an (obviously) essential item and the other doesn't want to feel left out.
Both of us commute in rush-hour, in the most appalling traffic = worry x 2.
We both make a beeline for the same gear, which means we either end up looking like an identical pair of book-ends when we're out on our bikes, or we have to strategically barter about which jersey we'll wear that day. :o
I look after my stuff, my GF's stuff ends up snagged and oil-stained; she's always trying to sneak my stuff in her closet and fob me off with hers (we're the same size). Sneaky minx!
Unless I'm feeling really mean, cleaning my bike becomes a bigger deal as I wind up cleaning both (I have more time on my hands).


It's all good though - and there have been some precious moments - like when my GF came into the garage and caught me gazing longingly at my bike, hanging on the wall. She came up beside me and we both stood there in silence, admiring our respective bikes in tandem (:rolleyes:) with big silly grins on our faces!

[KnottedYet]

My DPITA is almost a foot shorter than me. No problem with the stealing of the clothes. But we still end up looking like bookends if we're not careful. After I had spikey hair, she decided she wanted spikey hair, too. So now I'm growing mine out cuz I don't wanna fall victim to the Twin Syndrome!

DPITA doesn't have quite the same level of bike lust I have, but oh well...

[Aggie_Ama]

I hate when DH and I are dressed the same. Sometimes we sport the same jersey because it is our MS150 team and we want to represent our university. Other than that we go to great lengths not to look like we dressed alike.

[Kitsune06]

My DPITA is almost a foot shorter than me. No problem with the stealing of the clothes. But we still end up looking like bookends if we're not careful. After I had spikey hair, she decided she wanted spikey hair, too. So now I'm growing mine out cuz I don't wanna fall victim to the Twin Syndrome!

DPITA doesn't have quite the same level of bike lust I have, but oh well...

"Are you two sisters?"
-local everyone

:rolleyes:

[KnottedYet]

Oh, mi gawd! We get that all the time now!!!

I guess it's an improvement over "is she your mom?"

Aging together.... it's a beautiful thing.

[Kitsune06]

the "is she your mom?" one would probably send me into a murderous rage... :mad:

Funny, we look the same age, but she actually gets carded far more than I do. :D It's a minor annoyance, but it does wonders for the ego!

[mimitabby]

I always get a kick out of wearing matching outfits with DH.
The only problem with that is my fav. color is ORANGE and he doesn't have any orange Jerseys (note to self, buy DH an orange Jersey!)
So to dress like him i have to wear another color.
No one says we look like sisters though. :D

[chickwhorips]

i try to save money and bf always tells me i need to go for the more expenisive thing. says you get what you pay for and ive been cycling for x amount of years and i know.

though he has learned to love my 'shopping around' the internet for better deals.