a compliment, I think

[jobob]

As we were driving home from the Healdsburg ride this weekend, Lee was remarking how we've met so many nice people from the TE list on various rides.

Then he quipped:
"Yeah, you've met all these people over the internet and none of them seem to be axe murderers".

So if any of you are axe murderers, no need to tell Lee.

[spazzdog]

ah man!! And I was hoping to finally share my big secret...

sp-axx, er I mean, spazz

[BikeMomma]

Is there such thing as a nice axe murderer?? Oh no...the oft-supressed sick sense of humor is rearing it's head....:D Maybe one of us will be an axe murderer in our next life, but for now, I think we're safe. whew....

Tell Lee we don't think he's an axe murderer either. :p

~AxeMomma... DOH!!! er...BikeMomma (heehee)

[Dogmama]

When I was having tire problems, the first thing my DH asked was:

"Did you ask the girls on Team Estrogen?"

:D

(I already had!)

[crazycanuck]

Compliment yes..

Didn't you know i'm a former spy & like to suck the air out of the enemy's bike tires...

No? Oh ok then..I'll go back to the TE closet with the boogey man....

c

[Dogmama]

I'll bet you hate tires with Slime!

:eek:

[Trek420]

dang, there goes my plan to steal your kidneys next time :rolleyes: ;) :cool:

[spazzdog]

"I ate her liver with a nice chianti and some fava beans, mmmmmm"

spaxx

[margo49]

I used to be pretty handy with an ax(e)
Then I had a mastectomy which ruined my swing ;
so I taught the SO about swing and grain and all the usual Secret Wisdom and he does all the firewood now. He got real into it and is our kibbutz chain-saw expert as well now
DS #1 we started to train with a tomahawk to do the kindling when he was 12 or 13 and then at about 16 he graduated to The Big Ax(e). Little DS just started last winter. I bought him a brand new tomahawk and wrote his name on the handle. He loves it

[MomOnBike]

A "friend" told me right before I married DH that DH is an axe murderer. No problem, I just keep the axes away from him. He hasn't murdered a one since we've been married.

It's all true!

[ladyfish]

What do all these people have against axes? Why do people want to murder them? What has that ax ever done to you? Most axes I know are useful and pretty quiet when not in use.:D

[DebW]

Compliment yes..

Didn't you know i'm a former spy & like to suck the air out of the enemy's bike tires...

No? Oh ok then..I'll go back to the TE closet with the boogey man....

c

Is that why people inflate their tires with CO2? So tire suckers will pass out? I'm going to use helium and then I'll find the tire suckers by their funny voice. :D

[Dogmama]

What do all these people have against axes? Why do people want to murder them? What has that ax ever done to you? Most axes I know are useful and pretty quiet when not in use.:D

Imagine mounting an ax to your top tube instead of a pump. Do ya think you'd finally get some respect in traffic?

[snapdragen]

Imagine mounting an ax to your top tube instead of a pump. Do ya think you'd finally get some respect in traffic?

I find a sawed off shotgun slung across my back does the trick......:p

[spazzdog]

And a handlebar mounted Gatling gun REALLY clears traffic out of the way :D

See!!!

[snapdragen]

And a handlebar mounted Gatling gun REALLY clears traffic out of the way :D

See!!!

Excellent! Makes riding the "mean streets" of Oakland a pleasure, eh?

[sydney_b]

A "friend" told me right before I married DH that DH is an axe murderer. No problem, I just keep the axes away from him. He hasn't murdered a one since we've been married.


Lol. Whew. Glad you're keeping an eye on him. I noticed StuffMart was clean out of anti-axe murderer spray.

[Geonz]

Hmmm... have there even been any "axe-murderer" movies? GOsh, this is probably a piece of culture that's slipped by. When I took my pool operators' license test we had to list 8 reasons to close a pool and I was stuck, so I said "axe-murderers or any other unforeseen but unsafe circumstances." It was marked right - but when I got my postcard to tell me to go pick up my license, the grader penciled "axe-murderers?" on the postcard... which may have unsettled the post-person...

[jobob]

hee, I knew you'd all have fun with this !

spazz, you crazy girl, you never disappoint.

[mushy interlude]

Seriously tho, I've met so many wonderful ladies (and their spouses and SOs and friends) through this forum. I love you guys ! :o

[/mushy interlude]

[Lise]

Well, there's "So I Married An Axe Murderer", with the ever-hilarious Mike Myers.

I like the gun mount myself. Think it would help in a triathlon?

[SadieKate]

[mushy interlude]

Can I join you? I love mushy interludes. You know how much I revel in the friendships from this forum. Can you see the little hearts blinking over the "i" in each word?

[/mushy interlude]

:p :o :p

[jobob]

Sure, but if someone suggests holding hands and singing Kumbaya I'm outa here.

-jo "hearts in the o's" bob

[spazzdog]

Lise: yes, it works wonders in a triathlon. If they don't let you pass, shoot 'em :eek:

Jobob: Photoshop is my friend... and what's wrong with holding hands!! Oh, you meant the Kumbaya thing :D

sp-axx

[Lise]

Lise: yes, it works wonders in a triathlon. If they don't let you pass, shoot 'em :eek:
Ummm, I was hoping more that they'd faint in fear and not post very good times. There's not much danger of me really passing people...since most people make it out of the water before me, they'd have to see the gun on my bike in transition and decide not to ride after all...but the officials might see the gun, too, and remove it...or dq me...oh, this plan is not working out so well after all...:cool:

I <heart> you all, too. Or, most of you. Some of you. You know who you are. :p :rolleyes: :p

[spazzdog]

Just tell the officials it's a new kind of aero bar...

[Lise]

Just tell the officials it's a new kind of aero bar...
ahhhh, I see potential...I will, however, have to get faster on the swim, so I'm not just riding behind everybody going, "Hey! My aerobars are really a gun! Fear me!" ...or...if it's an out and back course, I could threaten everybody returning on the bike as I'm starting...they'd faint with fear...then I'd totally dominate on the run, man! Oh, heck, I may need to stick with my plan of winning my age group everytime by just being really old and still doing tri's. :p

[yellow]

Well, there's "So I Married An Axe Murderer", with the ever-hilarious Mike Myers.
One of my favoritest movies when I need a laugh. I think it was one of his first movies, wasn't it? For the uninitiated, especially those in San Francisco, rent this movie. Don't expect high art or anything, though...

"Harriett, sweet Hariett..."

[bikerz]

You gotta love a thread that can go from ax murderers to Kumbaya and mushy interludes and back again!

[Trek420]

everybody join hands and sing :)
someone's swinging an axe, Kumbaya
someone's swinging and axe, Kumbaya
someone's swinging and axe, Kumbaya
oy gevalt, Kumbaya

[Geonz]

Just axe us to, we can do anything!

[spazzdog]

Axe me anything, axe me anywhere, just don't axe me late fer supper!

[Kitsune06]

Huh. I'm not much of an axe murderer, but from time to time, I'm told "Nice Axe!" and... I'm not even carrying one. :confused:

In perpetual confusion,
Kitsune

[slinkedog]

[QUOTE=Lise]Well, there's "So I Married An Axe Murderer", with the ever-hilarious Mike Myers.

QUOTE]

One of my all-time faves!! :)

"WOMAN! Woooooh-MAN!"

[DirtDiva]

Well, AxeDiva was my first choice when I wanted to rename myself, but Jeff wouldn't let me have it. ;)

[Crankin]

I am cutting and pasting the bike/gun pic and sending it to my son, USMC, former racer. I can already hear him laughing his @$$ off.

[Lenusik]

I will not participate in this discussion. I am afraid I'll give myself out. :)

[pkq]

Shotguns don't require the accuracy or swing of an axe.

Call me lazy........

[Lise]

Shotguns don't require the accuracy or swing of an axe.

Call me lazy........
No, I will not call you names if you've got that gun on ya! :p

I just want to know if it also functions as a set of aero bars. I mean, I will the tri if I scare everybody else off the course, but I still want to post a good time, right? :D

[spazzdog]

Well, the Gatling gun is not very aero dynamic.

I suppose you could mount a nice set of sawed off shotguns and lean out onto them... just don't do it if you've used them 'cause the barrels will be hot :p

[Dogmama]

My ex-husband seriously wanted me to carry a .357 when I road.

Just another reason why he is the "ex."

[Lise]

Well, the Gatling gun is not very aero dynamic.

I suppose you could mount a nice set of sawed off shotguns and lean out onto them... just don't do it if you've used them 'cause the barrels will be hot :p
See? This is why it's so important to talk to someone with experience before you mount guns to your handle bars. :p I would've burned my forearms, and that would have slowed me down on the run portion! Drag!

[Trek420]

yeah but wouldn't the kick back when you fire knock you backwards?

I still want a paintball gun on my bike :p

[KnottedYet]

Yeah! you could paint-ball the crappy drivers with a particular color, then the cops could nail their buns for being rude to cyclists!

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! ("ook", as the Librarian would say...) (sorry, getting obscure after one cheap beer)

[Lise]

yeah but wouldn't the kick back when you fire knock you backwards? :p
Again, why it's so important to talk to those with experience first. How about a nice little dart gun? That would get the job done without the burning and kicking back! :p

[margo49]

The Japanese army used bicycles in WWII.
Took Singapore from the landward side as all the British were looking in absolutely the opposite direction to see them invading from the sea.

[Trek420]

margo! how are you?

Guess the Japanese did not put the cards in the spokes. Dontcha hate it when they use those stealth bikes ;)

[bikerz]

It's starting to look a lot like Thread Drift....

[BikeMomma]

"Cut" out that thread drift or we'll have to "axe" you to start another. heehee :D :D :p

[spazzdog]

I done forgot... which thread is this? The NRA meets bicycle etiquette or Thread Drift?

Perhaps it's simply a sequel... Thread Drift 2, starring Mel Gibson, Al Pacino, who else did those derned sequels?


ME, ME, ME.... Thread Drift starring Spazzdog and other talented folks (name yourselves) from TE.


Guns on Bikes, less lethal paintball guns on bikes, small canisters of pointy objects to flaten auto tires on bikes, ooooh -oooooh, how about a point and shoot Electromagnetic Pulse device?

Mount it on handlebars like a cyclometer. Wreckless car (or pounding radio) approaches... Point - press button - car dies horrible death (stops in tracks).

You pedal off into the sunset....