Free Kitten to Good Home...

[bikerchick68]

"Free kitten. Cute, cuddly, irresistible." That's how the ad read. What I didn't know is that "free kitten" is one of those moron things like "working vacation" or "Microsoft Works."

During that first trip to Petco, I discovered that my free cat would require, among other things: box, litter, scooper, liner, cover, filters, and designated dust-vac; wet food, dry food, nibble treats, bowls, and specially formulated kitten milk; no-scratch spray for the couch and do-scratch spray for the scratch post; scratch post; collar; I.D. tag; chew toys; flea comb; shampoo; cat bed; spray bottle; lint roller; jungle gym; immunity shots; and if you know what's good for you, pet insurance.

It doesn't help that cats are anti-establishment. You buy tuna; they want chicken. Open a door; they use the window. I bought for our kitten, Homer, a twenty-dollar teaser wand and he spent the night playing with its wrapper. So it goes. I can already hear my grandpa nagging: "All this money on cat toys. When I was young, we just tied strings to dead mice..." Add to the receipt a handful of new books, not to read but to throw at Homer when he starts doing wheelies at three in the morning.

Cats are "nocturnal," which comes from Old French noc, meaning "at night," and turnal, meaning "drives your master to drink." Homer is exploring our house like The Tasmanian Devil, leaving holes to mark his path. He has taken out flower vases, photo albums, important-looking documents, and one archrival teddy bear ... gutted. That's why Nature made kittens so adorable -- so we don't murder them when they swing from the curtains like James Bond. Homer assaults anything that twitches, blinks, or God help you, makes a scratching noise. He doesn't understand motion that isn't directly related to the game of Hunt and Chase. To this day he thinks I make the bed for his personal amusement. It was a dark day when Homer realized that all the time he spent sleeping on the entertainment center, we weren't worshipping him at all: We were simply watching TV.

Experts say that our kitten is "exploring his boundaries," but I believe he's possessed by Satan (one more cost: exorcism). I used to be a lighthearted bloke with chirpy words for everyone. Now I start the day saying "No!" and chase my orange son around the house with a spray bottle. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Some people think it's cruel to spray your cat like this, but I use bottled water. In fact, I think we should adopt this technology for humans. If someone, for instance, can't stop clearing his throat over the course of a six-hour plane ride, you just squirt him in the forehead. Sure, he'll be annoyed, but he'll learn.

Almost forgot anti-bacterial ointment. Homer weighs only three pounds, but ninety percent of that weight is teeth and claws. If you feed kittens after midnight, they will, like Gremlins, turn into crazed monsters and gain enough centrifugal force to leave skid marks on your headboard. Homer races back and forth like fifteen animals suffering from OCD (overactive cat disorder). I'm sure Petco sells the medication. But eventually the little guy tuckers out and curls into a lump between your legs; and as he snores there like a little party favor, your heart turns to butter and, just as Nature intended, you forgive. Worse, you come to see the wisdom in low-fat, vitamin-enriched, plaque-control kitten nibbles. Despite his wake of destruction, I find myself asking, "How can I improve this cat's life?" Now that Homer has finished discovering The Inside, he gazes sadly out the window wondering what the rest of the world tastes like. Maybe he just needs a playmate. Would you know that I just saw an ad for free kittens...

[makbike]

Congrats on your new addition. I have added two kittens (Twister and Penelope) to my house. They are 13 weeks old and just like your Homer, they seem to be possessed by something just not sure what. They, however, have helped me tremendously since I lost my favorite cat, Max six weeks ago. I still miss him but I can't help but think these little guys were sent to me when they were a week old for a reason. So, I sit back and watch my little friends play often laughing until my sides hurt. I relish the times they curl up and nap only to know once they have recharged their batteries the fun begins, again. My older cats, all 6 of them, are still trying to decide what these little creatures are but they have excepted Twister and Penelope into the fold so all is well. As I told my BF I forgot how much fun a kitten is and two is even better. It has been 9 years since my last kitten which just happened to be Max who came to me when he was 3 weeks old. Oh the joys of feline friends. Enjoy your your buddy, you are very blessed to have him in your life.

[farrellcollie]

One kitten is never enough. But there is something to be said about spacing them out a bit - at one time my exgf and I had 6 cats all about the same age - when they started turning 19 - 20 yrs old we had something like a cat black plague and they all died within about a year - it was horrible (I mean they were old and had good lives - but just as we would start getting over 1 - another one would go - also now if my backyard is ever dug up - it will appear as though we were some weird cat worshipping cult or something)

[Lise]

Oh, man, great thread! bc68, you have a gift! mb--glad you have two new babies! fc--all cats dead in one year. Oh my. That takes a certain fortitude of spirit. Isaac and Ariel will probably go around the same time, which will be saaaaaaaaaaaad. They're 16 & 17 now. I think of them as pretty frisky, but I cat-sat for my neighbor's 1 yr old Petula last week--the creature's demented! I forgot how fun a young cat can be. :D

[Eden]

I have a 20 yo and a 3 yo - quite the mixture. Koji is never malicious, but he just doesn't understand that Spot is fragile. We've been able to train him out of knocking poor old Spot over, but Koji still wants to groom the old cat and when he resists Koji pins him!

Koji, the little one just showed up outside of our bedroom window one night yowling for his mommy - my neighbor was sure that there was a rabid kitten in the neighborhood he was howling so loud! It took me 3 days of tracking him to figure out where he slept and catch the wiley little creature. He was still very young - the vet thought about 7 weeks - he still had blue kitten eyes. He was so scared of us at first that he crawled into the hole in the back of our pedestal sink (we put him in the bathroom) and wouldn't come out if we were in the room. The third day we had him I just started staying in the room all of the time and when I fell asleep once he came out and crawled under the covers with me. I've totally been his mommy ever since. He's the coolest cat I've ever had - follows me around like a puppy, likes to play fetch with little plastic ring toys, has a fascination with faucets and running water, and has learned the word ouch - he plays without claws and would never bite hard.
He does still do the insane cat act sometimes and if you want to make the bed you better shut the door. He'll try to get away with all sorts of bad things if he thinks we are not looking and hasn't quite understood that even if he can't see me when he's behind the drapes that I can still see and hear him. Plain water in a squirt bottle never worked on him - he likes to play in water too much. I had to put a little something smelly in it that he hates - I used a drop of oil of bergamot, because I noticed the grimace he made when smelling my Earl Grey tea.

[mimitabby]

Since we are on the subject, I am a volunteer for a no-kill animal shelter who specializes in rescued cats, feral and domestic.

If you have room in your home and your heart for a kitten or cat, now is a really good time to adopt one or two or three.

check out this website:
http://www.petfinder.com

[chickwhorips]

Since we are on the subject, I am a volunteer for a no-kill animal shelter who specializes in rescued cats, feral and domestic.

i give you major credit for this. i could never do it. i would want to take all of them home.

one of our dogs was found on the side of the road on a sofa in mexico. (the other one has such a good life she couldn't ask for more.)

thanks for doing such a good job for all those poor animals. i always go here every day also: http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites.woa/289/wa/gotoSite?destSite=AnimalRescueSite&origin=bcstab&wosid=Qn000018500ZN00022&revisionCode=ON_BCS_ARS_TAB

[plantluvver]

Wonderful post. Perhaps with two, they will take it out on each other more? I originally adopted two sisters, Missy and Sissy, who were feral. I intended for them to be indoor cats, but I got tired of seeing them plastered halfway up the screen door. Sissy is still afraid of everything, but while a kitten, if her sister were outside and we were intending to sleep, Sissy would call her so loudly and plaintively, that I would need to go outside to search for Missy. At times, Sissy would sneak out also, and it was nearly impossible to convince her that Missy was now indoors. And outdoors she was just as disruptive to sleep.

Cats also figure out who is the "softie" in the neghborhood. They see your cats, and insist on moving in. Now that Sissy is old, and content to be indoors, I no longer have a shelter for refugee cats. My maximum was five at one time. I won't put food outdoors, due to racoons in the neighborhood.

Mary

[farrellcollie]

i would want to take all of them home.




We had six cats because we were known as the women who would not say no. (not to worry - not hoarders - six was the limit and never have we had that many at one time again) - also we had a big house. We flunked collie rescue because we kept our foster dog.

[chickwhorips]

We flunked collie rescue because we kept our foster dog.

:D didn't know it was a pass or fail course.

[mimitabby]

the cat on my avatar is named Enza, Short for PROVIDENCE or in Italian Provvidenza.
She was born outside one very dry summer to a wild mommy. I trapped her and her mom and 3 sisters. they all had serious ringworm, head colds, and were skinny as can be. They were already 3 months old or more but very tiny. But we tamed them all (except for mom who we spayed and released) and they all got homes. I might as well tell you the rest of the story.
When they were all tame enough to be adopted, i brought them to the shelter and cried all the way home because i was so attached. (talk about wanting to keep them). My husband saw what state i was in and told me to go back and get "as many of them" as i wanted!
the next day
i went back to the shelter and called the kittens who were huddling in a clump in the back of the cage. The first one to come to my call was Enza. So I adopted her.
:)

[bikerchick68]

I used to be a lighthearted bloke with chirpy words for everyone.[/B]

I cannot take credit for this! Sorry... thought you'd all catch the "bloke" comment and realize it wasn't me... however I DO emapthize with this bloke... as I rescued a cat in 2004 who ended up with an Upper Respiratory Infection 2 weeks later and almost died... 8 days of hospitalization, and $1400 later, I brought my "free" cat home where she is now happily stretched out on the floor next to me...

especially painful to me was the quote about getting pet health insurance if you know what's good for you! LOL :D

I've enjoyed reading all your stories tho...and can tell you all feel my pain.

[Tater]

I adopted two stray kittens while stationed in Guam, Kaos and Connor. Those kitties transfered with me to Puerto Rico, and Monterey, CA, before settling down in Idaho. Well, my mom has them now since DF is severely allergic to cats. But they took to her and her two other cats really well. I miss my fur babies! :(

[Kitsune06]

I feel ya, Tater.

I met my DG and it was all love at first sight... until realizing she was severely allergic to kitties. ...at the time, I had two furbabies... Jack, a big, handsome black kitty, and Tsukiko (Little Moon) a (then) petite tortie. My ex-DH took them in to live with his gf's fluffball (they all get along fairly well) but man, oh, man do I miss my furbebbinses.

DG is into geebies, hammies and now ratkins... after a lifetime of hunting rodenty things, I have a hard time getting attached sometimes (esp. when Gebo decides to cop an attitude and repeatedly molest his brother at 3am resulting in incessant squeaking :mad: ) but... ratkin kisses and preenings are still heartmelting:rolleyes:

...but someone's gonna get fixed yet.

[Denise223]

Great thread..... I just love furkids:D !!

We rescued our two furcats 2 & 1/2 years ago at a wonderful (no kill) shelter.
Lucy is 9 & Yoster is 10, approximately.

I volunteer on a pet-grief website -- it really can be quite sad, but when my precious girl was put to sleep (Feb 2004), I received so much love, comfort & support from that site, I just had to volunteer to help others with their grief.

My friend (who lives in Georgia) told me about a couple of kill shelters down there. A HUGE percentage of the poor animals there are OWNER SURRENDERS!! I will never understand how people can just drop off their precious animals knowing that they are going to be killed. Makes me sick :mad: !!!

Bless all of you who help out at shelters, take in ferals (lots of hard work involved), and adopt your furkids through shelters......:)
Puts a smile on my face :D !!

Denise

[KnottedYet]

Stinky-dog came from a shelter. He's better than Prozac. Gray kitty showed up in the front yard demanding food, and joined the family. White kitty was adopted from the same shelter stinky-dog came from.

Everybody is fixed! Snip snip!

[winddance]

I have two cats, Mira and Orion (Ri). After Men in Black stole my perfect orange boy kitty name, I just went with it anyway. However, he turned out to be a giant wuss instead of a fierce hunter (except when hunting a laser pointer) so he goes by "Ri". They're such great friends. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

I love my cats. Both of them were adopted, Mira from a no-kill shelter, and Ri from a foster agency. I'd love to volunteer at a shelter, but my apartment is just too small for more cats! I know I would come home with more...Still, it's got to be fulfilling to help other animals find new homes.

[cusepack]

Kittens, kittens and more kittens . . . I don't know what it is about me and kittens - they always seems to find me!!! Just last month, I rescued 5 kittens - 3 weeks old. They had been abandoned by their mommy and of course, this soft heart just couldn't leave them. So, I grabbed all of them (they were all sitting on a cement brick outside) and brought them home. I put them in a box with towels and a hot water bottle underneath. Then, it was off to Walmart for kitten formula and bottles. Feedings were just like babies . . . every three hours, even in the middle of the night. I felt like I should have been on one of those TLC shows about families with quads, quints, etc!!!! Anyway, two days later they just didn't appear to be doing well (runny noses, eyes and some kind of skin irritation). Well, those little buggers had mange and it's highly contagious to humans!!! Needless to say, I broke out in a rash - my doctor told me the only upside is that the little pests cannot survive on humans - just long enough to bite me though!!! So, after shots, (the vet said had I not taken them, they probably would have died within days) lots of special shampoo bathings and love, they're doing fine and are ready to be adopted. One problem - I love them all so much and yet I know I cannot keep them all . . .I have my only little zoo of rescued kittens and the Inn is full:)

[SouthernBelle]

Stinky-dog came from a shelter. He's better than Prozac. Gray kitty showed up in the front yard demanding food, and joined the family. White kitty was adopted from the same shelter stinky-dog came from.

Everybody is fixed! Snip snip!

I have a cat named Grey Kitty! (Note the E. Very distinguished). I also have Miss Kitty, who is his mom. She is 16, he is 15. (I think).

[crazycanuck]

I found this on the lahr brats site & had to share a few

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

DAY 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow
I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must
try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
favourite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and
brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed
and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Will post another one soon...

[crazycanuck]

More for you-

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like To Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay of the furniture. (That's why it's called "furniture")

3.I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4.To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doen't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and Cats are better than kids because they:

a. eat less (unless you have a Lab or Great Dane)
b. don't ask for money all the time
c. are easier to train
d. usually come when called
e. never drive your car
f. don't hang out with drug using friends
g. don't smoke or drink
h. don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
i. don't wear your clothes
j. don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
k. if they get pregnant, you can sell the children

I look forward to finding a funky doggie at the animal shelter...

[chickwhorips]

every time i read those rules i love them more and more.

[Denise223]

CC --

Thanks for the laughs!! Had to share them with a couple of friends!!

Denise