OT: I was molested by a senior citizen!

[Fuji Girl]

Tell me if this is gross.

I live in a high-rise in downtown Chicago, and this older Korean couple lives down the hall. I always thought they seemed very nice, and they even have a son who's a little older than me, who's an MD-PhD. I've made small talk with the husband - he keeps asking me if I'm Korean. He's probably 60 years old or so. When he sees me, he sometimes gives me a hug and a peck on the cheek.

Yesterday after work, I changed into my bike gear - tights, jacket, etc. Brought my bike downstairs into the lobby, when I realized I forgot my gloves. Left the bike with the doorman, went upstairs and got my gloves. While I'm waiting for elevator, the husband comes out, tells me he's moving today to a different apt building that day. Gives me the usual hug and the kiss on the cheek. All of a sudden, I can tell he wants to kiss me on the face. I try to turn my face but he plants one on my lips, with tongue too! Ew ew ew!!! I can feel his tongue on my lips, smell his breath and saliva.

I manage to get away from him, and I have to endure the elevator ride down to the lobby with him. During the ride, he asks me if I have a boyfriend. I say yes (even though it's a total lie). Then, when the elevator get to the lobby, I run out and grab my bike so I don't have to talk to him anymore.

Is that f*ckin' weird/disgusting/foul or what? And that's not normal culturally is it? I'm Chinese, and that's certainly never happened to me before.

[snapdragen]

Ewwww! I think if you see him again, tell him if he ever comes near you again, you will tell his wife and son what he did.

Ewww. Just ewww.

[Bike Goddess]

All I can say :AREN'T YOU GLAD THAT DUDE IS MOVING ON AND OUT! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[maillotpois]

Not okay at all - and I cannot imagine that is a cultural thing either.

[SadieKate]

Ewwww! I think if you see him again, tell him if he ever comes near you again, you will tell his wife and son what he did.And the police.

A doorman? Ask him if any one else had had problems. He probably knows all.

[DirtDiva]

What a creep. You poor thing. :(

[Susan126]

You were too nice to him after what he did to you! You should have never ridden down in the same elevator and talked with him after what he did to you. I would have told him off on the spot and to never ever speak or approach me again.

I'm sorry that this happened to you Fuji Girl. I don't mean to be mean or anything but I think you should have stopped the cheek kissing and hugging the first time it happened.

Please I hope you are doing better! Take care . . . Sue

[Nanci]

That is so disgusting!!! God, I'd have to sterilize my mouth!

Nanci

[Pedal Wench]

Not cultural at ALL! I work with Samsung quite frequently, and even with engineers that I've known for years, I can barely get them to shake my hand.

[Tuckervill]

If he's elderly, he could be mentally altered in some way, as well. Perhaps he was having a lack of clarity.

But perhaps he was taking that one last shot at getting a little Fuji Girl.

Gross.

Karen

[DrBee]

Ewwwwww - that is so completely nasty! I would've wanted to deck him. It's wierd though - I've been in touchy (sorry- couldn't resist) situations like that - without the tongue action though - and was rendered nearly speechless.

Good thing he's moving! Ewwwwwww. How creepy!

[Brina]

oh, yuck. not cultural, not right.

[Dianyla]

What a dirty old man! :eek:

[Fuji Girl]

Thanks guys, I told the doorman what happened, and he wanted to call security on him. But since the old guy's moving and I won't ever see him again, I told him it wasn't worth it.

I was wondering if maybe he wanted to cop a feel since he knew he was moving and wouldn't see me again. Which is so gross!! What a dirty old man!

[Selkie]

That's totally disgusting. You poor Fuji girl. You're too nice, cutting him slack like that. Maybe he started taking Viagra and is out of control?

[Duck on Wheels]

Definitely not a cultural thing. And it would have been equally gross if it were the son, only then it would perhaps also have been more dangerous. It's not just that he's old that makes it gross, it's the abuse of power. Maybe not physical strength as power in this instance, but the "power" he gained from Fuji girl's politeness. Yukk! And here you'd been respectful to him all this time. The total breach of trust and respect makes it even more revolting, because it makes it so much harder to be civilized to the next neighbour who moves in. Good luck getting over this. Hope it doesn't ruin neighborliness for you.

[tulip]

You're probably not the only one. There'll be some other woman in the new building. I hope she calls security. It is unacceptable. If he was a 20-somthing guy, would that behavior be okay? No way.

[Melody]

Fuji, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. That is _not_ a cultural thing. I'm korean (was actually born there) and what he did was not normal, though there are some dirty old guys there.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :/

Mel

[massbikebabe]

I'd be icing down my knuckles today...gross, just plain gross




karen

[allabouteva]

Hi Fujigirl,

That is EWWWW! Very yucky, and icky indeed.

I'm Chinese like you, and understand how we're brought up to respect our elders, and when that man betrayed your trust and respect for him, that's VERY BAD. :mad: I imagine the Korean and Chinese cultures are very similar in that respect, so he knew what he was doing, and that was taking advantage of you.

If you see him again, you tell him straight to keep away from you, and you tell him that if he doesn't you'll tell the doorman to call the police in front of his wife and son. He'll probably try to excuse and shrug off his behaviour and say that you're overreacting, but the potential loss of face, should stop him from pestering you.

Take care,

e

[pkq]

Despite his age, he would have understood a forcefully, strategically placed knee.

Better make sure he is moving and if he isn't, let security handle it. I'm sure they don't want that kind of behavior ruining their reputation and experience for others.

[Lise]

Dear fujigirl,

I am so sorry that man took advantage of your respect for him. Even though he's moving out of your building, it seems to me you said he'd still be in the neighborhood. When offended, I have often tried to pretend nothing happened. I imagine this man counts on you not causing him to lose face. He certainly didn't seem worried about his own loss of dignity. I second what everyone else has said about telling the police in front of his wife/son. Best wishes, L.

[short cut sally]

Fuji girl, I am sorry you had to go thru that, I was reading and thought the same thing that pkq stated, a well placed knee might have been my first instinct along with a nice spit to get that taste out of your mouth. Hopefully you will never encounter him again. Cultural or not, I don't agree with what he tried to do..May your paths never cross again..shellyj

[betagirl]

ewwwwwwwwwwwww

Want me to come kick his butt? I'll wear my bike shoes. :D

Sorry you had to experience that. Not that this is anywhere near your experience, but I once had an old guy in a nursing home ask me to "come sit on his finger"

:D

[Brandi]

Forget kicking he's *** with bike shoes! How about a pair of ice skates?
I had a boss who used to cause all these problems on purpose and stand back to watch what would happen. Once he grabbed my breast and went "Now what are you gonna do?" I didn't do or say anyting cause I didn't want to loose my job. God I wish I had just kicked him where the sun don't shine! Luckly we all stopped working for him and started our own company. Now he is a lonely old man. I guess there is justice out there.

[Selkie]

[QUOTE=BrandiI had a boss who used to cause all these problems on purpose and stand back to watch what would happen. Once he grabbed my breast and went "Now what are you gonna do?" I didn't do or say anyting cause I didn't want to loose my job. God I wish I had just kicked him where the sun don't shine! Luckly we all stopped working for him and started our own company. Now he is a lonely old man. I guess there is justice out there.[/QUOTE]

Geez, I guess he's never heard of sexual harassment lawsuits. You could have sued the #### out of him, Brandi, but it probably wouldn't have been worth it. I'm a believer in karma and what goes around comes around, and from what you say, looks like he's getting his just desserts.