Becoming/being, disabled?

[Pax]

Seems there's a few of us here, I'm curious about people's stories, how did you get here, what was the precipitating event?


If you're gonna ask the question you have to being willing to go first:

I still live in the land of denial, still have that magical thinking that someday I'll be my old badass self again. I became a firefighter back in the early 80's, there were less than a 100 women worldwide in the profession working fulltime, I was one of those few. The gear didn't fit, you pushed through injuries so as not to be seen as a "pu***", you put up with crap that would get everyone and their brother sued nowadays... all because the job was awesome and more importantly, best. job. ever. But I sure pay for it now; after six knee surgeries I have a new knee that doesn't work right. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat, what I did mattered, there are people alive because I did a good job, it doesn't get any more important, any better, than that.

But, now I'm sort of disabled (I meet the criteria but won't let my doc submit the paperwork yet), there are so many things I can't do anymore, something as simple as putting on my socks requires planning. Surely not where I thought I'd be at this time in my life.

How about you?

[Aromig]

Pax: I don't have anything to share (I'm old and creaky but happy to be where I am), but I did want to comment on your post.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with knee issues/surgeries/replacements and, even harder, getting used to having everything be so much more difficult. I broke my leg 4 years ago and the 4 months with no weightbearing were tough. I try to remember that and be grateful that it was only 4 months and not my every day life. And I try to be more empathetic for those with disabilities, but I know I get caught up in my normal life and forget how hard it is for others.

And WOW! I had no idea you were a firefighter. I can't even imagine how difficult that was in the 80s (heck, I bet it is still difficult now. Even with training and legal protections prejudice and bigotry manage to find their way into every day interactions in these types of fields). Way to blaze a trail to make it easier for women of the future! Thank you for making a difference, both for women in the field and for the people you saved.

[Pax]

Thanks, Aromig, it was a very challenging time, but I loved it. Even though I finished the fire academy number two of my class, was a licensed medic with experience, and scored in the 50% of our departments strength tests (meaning I was stronger than 50% of the guys I worked with), my training officer still told me "I don't believe you have any business here so I'm going to make your life a living hell". He sure tried, but once the guys saw I could pull my weight they let up a bit.

As far as being kinda disabled, the hardest part is coming to grips with the knowledge I won't be able to do all the cool stuff I used to do. I'm working on finding new stuff now!

[Catrin]

((((Pax)))) I kind of know how you feel with the types of things I've had to give up over the last year. My situation isn't the same, but I certainly get how hard it is to accept something like that. It was hard enough for me to finally accept that there are certain things I will never be able to do again, but I know that my situation is minor compared to so many. It IS cool to be able to find new things to do, and a bit heartbreaking to have to give up things you love.

Very cool that you were once a firefighter - that is just plain awesome! In the 80's as well, and I'm sure you helped pave the way for the women that have followed you in your profession.

[Crankin]

I know myself well enough that I would not do well in your situation, Pax. However, I do think the key is finding a new passion. I've been thinking a lot about what's going to happen when I cannot ride the way I do now. My plan is to just ride differently, if the situation warrants it, but I was thinking about this while I was climbing up Lenox Mt. last Saturday, in the Berkshires. It's not a terrible climb, and I don't try to do it fast, but I can't imagine not being able to do it...

[salsabike]

Pax, I do have something to offer. I hope it has some meaning for folks.

I used to be a dancer. I don't mean professionally, but very serious amateur--like, two hours of ballet class six days a work, performing in some Nutcrackers, etc. I worked full time and then went to the ballet studio afterwards. It was my second home and my most beloved world. I ended up having to quit when I developed an extremely painful fibromyalgia syndrome. I probably spent close to a decade being devastated--sad, angry, not knowing what to do, gaining a lot of weight from the only medication that helped with the severe chronic muscle pain (amitriptyline, for those who want to know). I finally went off the medication and the pain stayed tamped down for many years for no clear reason. But my weight set point had changed--hard to get it all off.

Then my husband started riding his bike again. I looked at that and said, hey, I used to like doing that. I started riding again. More and more. Then I got interested in triathlons. I got a coach and did sprints and Olympics for about five years (2008-2013). And THEN I developed a tendon deterioration syndrome in one ankle and was advised by multiple ankle surgeons not to run anymore. So...no more triathlons.

I find I still like to ride and I ride about 80-100 miles a week (except during vacations or when workload overcomes my free time). A lot of my rides these days are on the Sammamish River Trail looking for wildlife. I've watched two seasons of osprey chicks being born and growing up. I watch otter families on the river. I've watched woodpeckers make nestholes in trees, hatch their chicks, and have seen the chicks fed and fledge. I saw a weasel lately for the first time ever. I watched two barn owl families grow up under bridges on the river trail this year. And also I still hike. We're about to do a long weekend of hikes at Glacier Park.

I list all that to say that I have finally come to realize that no matter what gets taken away from me as my body declines to keep cooperating on some activity, I will by God get up and find other activity doors to walk through, as long as I possibly can. The losses of things I love--especially ballet--have been really hard. But I've gotten better at understanding that I will never just give up, so I might as well start looking for the next open doors that I might want to wander through. It's the best I can do with the frailty of being human.

I too think it's fabulous that you have been a firefighter. I have solid faith that you WILL find those new things. You seem like a strong soul to me.

[Pax]

You have a beautiful attitude, salsabike!


Catrin, here's me at 23, I thought I such a badass and now, when I look at the pics, I was just a baby!! LOL

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[wnyrider]

Kudos for having been a firefighter Pax. I am married to a retired firefighter. When he was hired there was a female rookie as well, the city's first. He would get so upset because the other guys were deliberately trying to make things that much harder for her. He said it was difficult enough without having anyone f*ck with you. As it was, she persevered with fortitude and skill , thus gaining some hard earned respect. Coincidentally I knew her from my bar hopping days and could vouch for what a badass she was. If you were anything like that... hats off!

After over 20 years firefighting, my husband's body suffered terribly. You can only shake off those injuries so long. I've told him that I suffer from PTSD from his days of being dependent on medically prescribed fentanyl patches for pain. That was a hellish period. Enough said on that! I do have an autoimmune issue with chronic conditions and have not been able to work in my career field for a number of years. Accepting my limitations has been a colossal challenge.

I found this site looking for other women who enjoyed bicycling that could offer encouragement. I have found it here and I am glad. It's a struggle not being able to ride as far, fast or long as I want to. I try hard to maintain focus on experiencing the joy of the ride. When it is working, all is golden. That is my reward.

Enjoyed your added pics, you did look so very young! I will take this opportunity to ask, your avatar is interesting-- is the hand a "hamsa" symbol or just a hand? I wear a necklace with a hamsa and was curious when I first noticed your avatar.

[Pax]

Wynrider - can't imagine how hard it must be to be the one at home when your loved one is on the job. Kudos to you for sticking it out, almost every guy on my shift was divorced more than once.

My avatar is just a hand, but I like the idea of a hamsa much better!

[salsabike]

Pax, those pictures are fabulous.

[Catrin]

Pax - this pics are great and yes, you were a baby at the time :D A very strong baby, in body, mind, soul, and spirit. How could you not be? You were breaking your own glass walls and ceilings. That makes it even more difficult for you when faced with the consequences of your knee. You will persevere however, and find things that you enjoy as much as those activities that your body has a problem with now. That spirit that led you to succeed in firefighting will help you in this as well.

I find your story so inspiring - and your example has really helped me to set aside my own internal problem accepting my own partial impairment with my knee, and increasing foot problems while focusing on finding other things I can do.

[Crankin]

Wow, Pax, you look awesome! And I am pretty sure I didn't look that young at 23.
Again, finding alternatives is the key. During the year my autoimmune/Fibro stuff was bad, I really got into yoga and walking. When the cycling season started again, I did a lot of farm stand and errand rides, riding to my medical appts. As the summer went on, I added in more and more fitness rides, but I put no pressure on myself. The good thing is that attitude stuck with me. It kind of was the impetus to make sure I was not focused on cycling as my only sport.

[Pax]

salsabike - thanks!

Catrin - glad I could help a little. That is the thing I miss most about those days. When I stepped off the rescue or ladder truck, I knew I would be able to help. Stop the bleeding on a car accident victim while offering a little comfort, crawl into a building and search for someone left behind, or even just go to the local schools and show the kids the cool fire truck and watch the dawning on their faces as they realized "she's A GIRL" and then see the HUGE smiles on the faces of a few of the little girls. Absolutely best. job. ever.

Crankin, my mom always said I had the face of an angel... and that it was very misleading. LOL


We will be home to Illinois by the end of August, once we get settle I think I'm going to try yoga. There is an amazing studio nearby that offers classes for people with physical issues, so I think it might be a good place to start to see if I can get some of my flexability back.

[shootingstar]

Very cool, Pax. Actually one of my former jobs was librarian for a provincial govn't regulatory agency on fire code enforcement, fire protection engineering (a specialty engineering area) and firefighting. So our clients including govn't folks, engineering community and fire departments. From a distance I sort of know your world Pax and of course, a ton of info. on physical demands and risks. I also met women firefighters who were the rare ostriches in their large fire depts. 1 of them lauched formally a human rights legal case against a major fire dept..

I also met the rare....Asian-Cnaadian and black firefighters in Metro Toronto. It was so rare at that time... in mid 1980's.

Above has nothing to do with disability post-firefighting, just being part of a time when barriers were being broken down. Some of those barriers are still there.

I wrote this awhile ago and coincidentally I wrote it before I had my concussion: https://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/2016/01/02/balancing-between-active-and-cerebral-your-passions-for-life/

[Pax]

Nice blog post, SS.

On my shift there was one black guy, they didn't want him there either, so they paired us off for all drills and training. They thought it was hysterical when I had to carry his 6'4" 240lb carcass down a ladder, and they were stunned that I could do it... fellas never seem to understand leverage, they just thought I was freakishly strong. :p

[emily_in_nc]

Pax, very cool.

I can't imagine being a firefighter. You were and still are fierce! Thank you for sharing your stories with us. And yes, do give yoga a try. It can be very difficult, but any instructor worth his or her salt will work with you and respect/honor your limitations. That's part of what yoga is all about. Namaste!

[Pax]

Namaste, Emily. I got to take some chair yoga when they offered it at work and it was wonderful! The instructor invited me to this studio and said they would do anything they could to help me; I'm pretty excited to give it a try.

[Sylvia]

I have been disabled my entire life. I have cerebral palsy. For me my disability has always been a part of me. It doesn't define who I am but it is certainly a part of me as much as my ethnic background, gender, or even occupation. But sometimes I think physical disabilities are made out to be much larger than they are. It's not that the limitations aren't real, but the difference is perceived as greater.

That said, I think change is difficult for everyone, and I find as I get older (and I am 53 now) that I also am having to deal with physical changes in my abilities. And yes that is tough, but I do what I can to hopefully keep what I have. Sometimes I wonder if the difficulty with change is we compare what we had with what we have now, and then scare ourselves when we think where this could go in the future. And maybe the better option is embracing the present as we are now with an appreciation that life continually changes, and it can be exciting and cool wherever we are.

[rebeccaC]

Sometimes I wonder if the difficulty with change is we compare what we had with what we have now, and then scare ourselves when we think where this could go in the future. And maybe the better option is embracing the present as we are now with an appreciation that life continually changes, and it can be exciting and cool wherever we are.

thanks sylvia...an excellent suggestion for everyone!!!!!!!! it's not always the circumstances that threaten us but our reaction......

[Pax]

Sylvia - agree about that difficulty, it is a rough go when you start seeing what you can't do anymore. I'm trying to embrace "the new me", but it's a process. I have to grieve a bit for what I lost, but I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel these days.

[Sylvia]

Pax, It is a process, and I'm glad you are making headway.

One of the things that concerns me when it comes to disabilities is there is a bit of a stigma that goes with it in our culture, much like there is with getting "old". And since the two often go hand-in-hand it makes it even harder. The husband of a good friend of mine was diagnosed with Parkinsons a few years ago. It runs in his family and he had seen his father go through it. His initial reaction after being diagnosed was maybe he should just kill himself now. And unfortunately, I've read about others who have felt this same way after suddenly finding themselves severely disabled. As someone who is disabled, it is almost shocking to me. So I have to wonder what can we do as a culture and as a society to make that transition easier.

[Crankin]

Frankly, I am pretty sure I would have that reaction, too. I don't want to be old and the thought of not being able to do what I do now is extremely disturbing to me. Since I am already old in years, this is a problem. I know it's not a positive attitude to have, but I know so many people who are 60-80 years old and still are running marathons and riding 5-10K miles a year, that I know what is possible. Some of these people have had their "things," with medical issues, but they all come back in one way or another. I suspect that if I became disabled in some way, I would try to find a way to do sports that my disability allowed. Until then, my goal is to keep doing what I do, maybe more slowly.

[rebeccaC]

One of the things that concerns me when it comes to disabilities is there is a bit of a stigma that goes with it in our culture, much like there is with getting "old"............. So I have to wonder what can we do as a culture and as a society to make that transition easier.

My wife is a strong supporter of disability rights...i I’ve seen some good work being done in the social support awareness and attitude areas (NDA etc.) that can help to give people in all age groups more positive feelings about their everyday life. We need much more of it but we have come a long way from the disempowering attitudes and stereotyping of the past. We also need more strong voices of inclusion in both public and private sectors and the promotion and support of that kind of leadership. I prefer to see solutions to all challenges in my life in a positive way. That just brings me more satisfaction. I also see the positive attitudes of others helping me more.

[Blueberry]

My wife...

Wait - I missed something! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

[rebeccaC]

Wait - I missed something! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

thanks :)...it feels good saying it!!!! and one month this coming tuesday.

from the salt lake city thread

after a little over a month of planning, family and friends watched and celebrated Alexandra’s and my marriage last Saturday in Gordes. We’re staying in France this week and then traveling back home to the new journey of sharing our lives together.

btw….thinking I’m not going to be on the net much for a while :)

…..safe rides for all

[Sylvia]

Crankin, I think this reaction is not uncommon.
RebeccaC, yes things have come a long way.

It doesn't bother me when someone uses the word disabled or even handicapped; they are words with a specific meaning that I'm fine with. But what I find difficult, is when the differences are made out to be much larger than they are. For me, differently abled, or special needs, often become a form of euphemistic labels which still have an emphasis on the difference. When we make differences out to be greater than they are, or place more emphasis on the differences than on the similarities, it is like there is a tie or a bond that we damage. Almost a "you are not like us" even though it is never blatantly stated that way. And so when someone suddenly finds themselves on the receiving end of that, WOW... not only do you have to deal with the physical changes but you have a pile of other stuff as well. Things like pity, or patronizing attitudes, or even being someone's inspiration. And you just want to say STOP because you just want to be accepted as yourself.

I have often wished that my disability were seen as no different than someone who just had to wear glasses to see.
And I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining when I say that, but I do think how we view disabilities could have an impact on how we (as we get older) and others are able to adjust to our limitations.

[Crankin]

One of the most inspiring and eye opening experiences I've had cycling was doing the Wounded Warrior Ride a few years ago. In the beginning, some of the Warriors started out with the ride for the first 10 miles. That was amazing. But there were also many, many warriors with the regular ride, with a variety of abilities. I was dropped by all of them, men and women....

[Sylvia]

LoL Crankin,

I'm glad you got to experience this. It sounds like you had a lot of fun. This is one of the reasons why I wish the paralympics got more visibility. I think it would really open more people's eyes to the possibilities around them. It should be starting in a few weeks.

[Crankin]

Thanks, Sylvia.
And I am just stating my honest feelings when I say how I would most likely react to a sudden disability in my life. While I am a real proponent of changing your thoughts to change your life, the bottom line is that no amount of "la, la, la, it's all positive and cheery," is going to change the raw emotion I *know* I would experience. Perhaps it's the perspective of age; I am not going to BS the reality of anything.
So, I keep doing everything I can do to stay healthy, thank G-d for the longevity and good genetics in my family, while knowing it can change in an instant.

[Sylvia]

Thanks, Sylvia.
And I am just stating my honest feelings when I say how I would most likely react to a sudden disability in my life. While I am a real proponent of changing your thoughts to change your life, the bottom line is that no amount of "la, la, la, it's all positive and cheery," is going to change the raw emotion I *know* I would experience. Perhaps it's the perspective of age; I am not going to BS the reality of anything.
So, I keep doing everything I can do to stay healthy, thank G-d for the longevity and good genetics in my family, while knowing it can change in an instant.

No I get it, you are being absolutely honest about it and I think you should be. The worst thing to do is bottle it all up and pretend everything is good when it's not.
I don't think you get to a point of being able to fully accept alternate paths until you can accept the loss. The main thing is to not get stuck in the past such that you can't move on.

That said, for some one that finds themselves disabled, and has gotten past the grieving stage, I think an interesting thought experiment is imagining what a cool and exciting life might look like given the current circumstances. Certainly we all know people of varying ages and abilities who have had cool and amazing lives. And what would that look like for you or even me? And then what do we need to do to get there from where we are now. That becomes the next journey. And I'm not going to sugar coat it and pretend like it's all roses from then on, because really no journey is. The main point is not to let the tough times keep you from enjoying the good times. Don't get stuck. And ultimately that gets back to the whole honesty thing. :)

[salsabike]

Lovely posts, Sylvia, especially this last one. Thanks. And watching the Paralympics is a blast. So many athletes there who can do things I can't do! I used to do my swim workouts at a pool where a young woman with one leg trained. She was an absolutely gorgeous swimmer, poetry in motion. And the foot on her prosthetic leg had a pedicure (red). I always wondered how she did in the games that next year but the pool closed down before I could meet her and ask her name.

[Sylvia]

Lovely posts, Sylvia, especially this last one. Thanks. And watching the Paralympics is a blast. So many athletes there who can do things I can't do! I used to do my swim workouts at a pool where a young woman with one leg trained. She was an absolutely gorgeous swimmer, poetry in motion. And the foot on her prosthetic leg had a pedicure (red). I always wondered how she did in the games that next year but the pool closed down before I could meet her and ask her name.

Thanks salsabike,

I'm a little afraid I may have taken over Pax's thread here. And that wasn't my intention.

I do think that when we are exposed to the possibilities that exist, then maybe we can start to form alternate images of what it means to be disabled, something that is not so limiting.
Something that allows all of us to feel good in our own skin.

[Pax]

Not at all, Sylvia, I wanted to hear other people's thoughts and perspectives. I appreciate you sharing.

[blackhillsbiker]

The hardest thing for me is coming to grips that my mind bites off more than my body can chew. I would love to mountain bike and I miss my flexibility so much! Yoga is painful but necessary. My biking is now paths and trails, not singletrack. My spine can't endure any pounding. I've moved to steel bikes which has been so much better. I almost gave up on drop bars until I found the Rove and had a good fitting. Even so, I know my days on a regular bike are numbered. Hiking is death on my hip. Still, I'm above ground, enjoying the sunshine, and zipping along as best I can.

[emily_in_nc]

The hardest thing for me is coming to grips that my mind bites off more than my body can chew. I would love to mountain bike and I miss my flexibility so much! Yoga is painful but necessary. My biking is now paths and trails, not singletrack. My spine can't endure any pounding. I've moved to steel bikes which has been so much better. I almost gave up on drop bars until I found the Rove and had a good fitting. Even so, I know my days on a regular bike are numbered. Hiking is death on my hip. Still, I'm above ground, enjoying the sunshine, and zipping along as best I can.

Have you tried a recumbent? I am thrilled that you found your Rove, but sometimes it is nice to have a couple of bikes to alternate so you work different body parts differently. I have a cranky hip myself from a serious bike accident, and although I am still able to ride a road bike, I have cranked the handlebars up quite a bit on both of mine. And I would love to own a recumbent as well, but we don't have a way of carrying one in/on our motorhome since we already have six bicycles between the two of us.

[blackhillsbiker]

I haven't seriously looked at recumbents yet but I have given them some thought. I'll continue to explore ways to stay in the saddle as my body ages and changes. I can't bear the thought of inactivity.

[Sky King]

Not to go completely off topic but as much as the DH cringes when I say this. I could see the benefits of owning an electric assist bike when I get to the point that biking is a challenge. Had a guy in the shop the other day who has heart issues and he said the assist has enabled him to keep pedaling!

[Helene2013]

Not to go completely off topic but as much as the DH cringes when I say this. I could see the benefits of owning an electric assist bike when I get to the point that biking is a challenge. Had a guy in the shop the other day who has heart issues and he said the assist has enabled him to keep pedaling!

See...husband tells me it is something I may want to look into in the future if it can help me climb hills or give me the little push I need when facing challenging winds with my knee issues and help in keeping me active. I am totally NOT going to get such a bike (in my mind for the time being at least - I live in denial what can I say. hihi). My fear would be that once you get used to the bike "pushing" you, you get lazy and not pedal on harder (still doable) parts. We saw a tv program where they were showing the plusses of owning such bike. I'm just not there yet. If I can't pedal my own way, I'll have to find something else to do. One day I may have knee replacement but not there yet and will push it until I have no other option. Until I can cycle as I do now, it will be a "real" bike. It's hard to compare the past-today-future but I do try to enjoy and live the moment as every day over is another day towards getting older and older. hihi I'm good now and it is sufficient for my needs.

[Crankin]

I am where you are, Helene. I don't have knee issues, but I would rather do more moderate cycling in both terrain and distance than to get an e bike, unless I was really incapacitated. Like you, I'd find a replacement activity. When we went to Provence last summer, one of the women on our tour rode an e bike the first day. She was clearly not as strong of a cyclist as most of the others, but she *hated* the thing. She said it was heavy and just felt unwieldy. She went back to the Trek FX and modified the mileage each day of the tour.

[ny biker]

Last year, when I had the laryngitis that wouldn't go away and that made it hard to breathe when I rode my bike, and the jerk ENT told me I had a paralyzed vocal cord, I started to cry. In part I cried because the doctor was a jerk who refused to believe that the vocal cord problem affected my breathing and it was so hard to talk that I couldn't tell him what I really thought of him. He had no idea that when he said "there's no treatment" I was hearing "you won't be able to ride your bike like you used to ever again." I was very upset.

I was lucky that the problem was not caused by a serious underlying problem and that it resolved on its own. I'm told it will probably happen again so I'm very careful about not straining my voice whenever I get a cold. My voice has been hoarse lately (due to allergies? and maybe also the inhaler I use?) so several times a day I say EEEEEEEE which is a test to see if the vocal cord is paralyzed. If the problem hadn't gotten better I would have tried to find ways around it -- riding easier, flatter routes maybe -- but ultimately I would have had to find a way to accept that I would always struggle to talk, I couldn't sing anymore, my activities would be limited by an inability to breathe. And my voice sounded so funny when I did talk, I hated it. I honestly don't know how it would have affected me it the long run. You try to fight it, work around it, not let it get to you but sometimes you just get tired of fighting and want things to be different.


As for e-bikes, I do know someone who rides a recumbent with an electrical motor. Without it, he wouldn't be able to get up the hills, so he sees it as the thing that allows him to keep riding.

[Pax]

NY - I can hear the "end of the rope" exhaustion in what you wrote. You just reach a point where you sit back and realize you have got to stop fighting for your own emotional well-being. Glad your situation resolved so you got another shot at being active.

If I continue to live where biking is safe and viable, I'll have an e-bike at some point. Since my knee has healed up so badly I really can;t ride much at all these days, so at least that would help me roll a bit.

[rebeccaC]

Lots of e-bikes in this area. I have no problem with those who want to use them for whatever reason and especially when they have a major impact on lessening fossil fuel use like they do in Asia and somewhat less in Europe. For climbing, e-assist kits like the Gruber Assist can give you 70 minutes of 200 watt assist on a regular road bike now with only adding 4 lbs and it will only get better as new technology is developed. I've done some climbing where I could use that now :)

As much as I enjoy bicycling (for a number of fitness, mental and transportation reasons) if I found bicycling more physically difficult to do then an e-bike for my bicycle transportation use would be where I’d go. There are also other ways I can keep fit and more importantly, keep a spirit of adventure and determination.

[emily_in_nc]

DH has mentioned the possibility of an e-bike for me so I can keep up with him, but honestly, I think we'd do better with a tandem. I just can't get my brain around an e-bike, at least at my age (55). Perhaps in 10, 20+ years, okay, but not yet. I am afraid it would make me lazy, and I want to keep burning as many calories as I can so I can eat all the yummy things I enjoy. E-bikes are heavy, so I am sure I would rely on the motor too much and lose fitness. No thanks, not yet.

[salsabike]

I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to use an electric-assist bike if I needed to for physical reasons. The assist doesn't kick in until the sensor feels the rider applying a lot of pressure, so I doubt it would make anyone lazy. I would hope that people who could keep riding with an e-bike, but might not be able to without one, would try it before they make any decision pro or con.

[rebeccaC]

DH has mentioned the possibility of an e-bike for me so I can keep up with him....... E-bikes are heavy, so I am sure I would rely on the motor too much and lose fitness.

I have to slow down sometimes now when climbing with Alex....and i enjoy the ride nonetheless :)

the weight issue has changed a lot with new developments. It's going to get even better with time. There are assist systems that work well for some help with threshold inducing climbs/strong headwinds and much lesser circumstances too :) Some even fit in the seat tube with a battery in a seatpack and the bike doesn't look any different or handle any differently with the assist off....plus while adding only 5+/- lbs too.

[carolynzzz]

Seems there's a few of us here, I'm curious about people's stories, how did you get here, what was the precipitating event?


If you're gonna ask the question you have to being willing to go first:

I still live in the land of denial, still have that magical thinking that someday I'll be my old badass self again. I became a firefighter back in the early 80's, there were less than a 100 women worldwide in the profession working fulltime, I was one of those few. The gear didn't fit, you pushed through injuries so as not to be seen as a "pu***", you put up with crap that would get everyone and their brother sued nowadays... all because the job was awesome and more importantly, best. job. ever. But I sure pay for it now; after six knee surgeries I have a new knee that doesn't work right. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat, what I did mattered, there are people alive because I did a good job, it doesn't get any more important, any better, than that.

But, now I'm sort of disabled (I meet the criteria but won't let my doc submit the paperwork yet), there are so many things I can't do anymore, something as simple as putting on my socks requires planning. Surely not where I thought I'd be at this time in my life.

How about you?

I've read most all of the replies as well -
You're a true female hero Firewoman!

I understand how you feel. I too have been active these 55 years.
I understand the depression one feels when the love of movement is stopped or taken away, as movement is who you are!
I had a meniscectomy (knee Cartledge removal) about 3 years ago, which is far easier than what you've endured. However, I to am unable to do some things i use to do - which totally sucks.

I research a lot and found some advances & a huge percent of athletes getting are used these, one being 'Menaflex' it is a meniscus implant - it's the cushion for the knee, you may want to look into this as there is probably new advances for the entire knee.

Do some research or call your doctor & tell them you want to know all new advances for 'Athletes' knees!!!

Until then get your arse into some type of routine with what You CanDo!

Each of us as we get older has something. Know I also have lower lumbar scoliosis, my back looks like the number 5 - because a doctor didn't catch it when I was young, & at 43 I found out I was suppose to be two inches taller - trust me I would have liked the height!
Instead I have one leg longer than the other (no wonder my knees always hurt) & I live with back pain everyday!
I will not take drugs I use natural muscle relaxers from herbs - yes they work enough.


Most importantly try!
Please just Do Not Give Up!


Carolyn




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[BikeDutchess]

I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to use an electric-assist bike if I needed to for physical reasons. The assist doesn't kick in until the sensor feels the rider applying a lot of pressure, so I doubt it would make anyone lazy. I would hope that people who could keep riding with an e-bike, but might not be able to without one, would try it before they make any decision pro or con.

I'm with you. I'm a huge proponent of e-bikes - I've seen first-hand how it has allowed my dad, who has a ton of health problems, to keep riding. My last trip over there (Netherlands), we both rented e-bikes for a week-long bike trip in Germany (he didn't want to haul his own e-bike to the start). It was the first time I'd ridden one, and it was really nice! The one I rode had 3 levels of assist, and I only used the lowest for most of our rides. It was a nice equalizer, because he could kick in a higher assist level and could comfortably ride at the same pace. We had a couple of sections that were steep and with horrible cobblestones, and it sure was nice to have some extra assist there, because all my attention went to trying to keep my balance on those dratted things and I didn't have to worry about at the same time having to push super hard to keep my speed.

If I had a hilly or longer commute to work, I would definitely consider buying an e-bike so I wouldn't arrive all sweaty (we had such a hot summer here in Utah). And also if I at some point develop physical limitations.

I think the resistance to e-bikes in the US is in part because here many folks still consider cycling purely an athletic activity (and feel the electric assist is "cheating"). In Europe, cycling is considered by most a mode of transportation and travel, or a way to enjoy nature and go sightseeing, and not primarily an athletic endeavor. The e-bikes are one way to make it more convenient/enjoyable.

[Crankin]

That's probably true, Bike Dutchess, but I would rather just do my athletic activity more slowly (which I already do now, at times) or find something else for fitness if I had some kind of injury that was purely cycling related. I commute and I also do a lot of "smell the roses" rides. I don't necessarily do these rides at my fastest speed, but I feel that I am still getting exercise, as say, opposed to sitting on the couch eating fried food....

[Pax]

Thanks for the kind words, carolynzzz.

I no longer have a real knee, just titanium and plastic, so nothing left for them to fix. Weird how it still manages to hurt all the time anyway.

[shootingstar]

Wasn't aware of the meniscus pad/implant. My partner has this knee problem for past 3 decades. As he gets older, he's now finding it difficult to arc his leg over the bike to mount it. So he will have to look into a lower top bike tube ...

Speed hasn't been important to me for the past decade or more. Sure it's a minor personal benchmark on certain routes at spring compared to fall....of how I've rebuild fitness. Just for my own knowledge. I think it also depends where you live how your body adjusts. My partner (who is 73), had a terrible cold and chest infection in spring which really weakened him.

When he returned to prairies from Vancouver this summer, he was able to amp up his health/fitness and distance ....because Calgary is several hundred metres higher at elevation than Vancouver..but you wouldn't know it because we're in the prairies. I found myself when returning to Vancouver for 1 wk. in early spring, wondering why I was able to do certain hills not too badly in spring when in Calgary I had been only doing short baby rides all winter.

So for athletes..especially in winter sports..better to train cross country skiing and other endurance stuff by blending prairies, Rocky Mountain training/ running and how to train in more extreme temperatures.

Since my partner is older than I (I'm 57), I've seen over the years how he adjusts to slowness due to aging. At minimum he tries to cycle 30-40 km. per day so far. If he doesn't , no big deal. And he also rides solo (I'm at work except for weekends) which probably helps him psychologically by NOT benchmarking against others in a group.

I'm very similar to him....I seldom ride in a group. I enjoy riding with him or if I'm lucky, occasionally with a friend or on my own schedule. For latter, I can't wait around for someone else's schedule to meet mine.

[Sylvia]

For those who might be concerned about the weight of an ebike. I just saw that Bike Friday is coming out with a new ebike that weighs in at 33lbs.
https://www.prlog.org/12587637-electric-assist-folding-bike-under-33-pounds-on-kickstarter-through-tuesday-september-20.html