View Full Version : Our very own humiliation/embarassment thread

03-09-2006, 01:54 PM
Reading this on bikeforums was so much fun, I decided we needed our own version.

My FIRST TIME as an adult on singletrack, I was swooping through the rollers, waaay in front of my boyfriend (now hubby) and I decided to bunny-hop the side of the deep singletrack to pull over and wait for him. At WAY too fast (15mph?) I tried, didn't make it, slammed sideways, put out my foot to "save" myself, planted the foot, destroyed the knee and somersaulted twice. ACL/MCL/meniscus surgery, $20,000 and six weeks later, I was back on the bike, albeit on the roads. I'm still not afraid to bomb downhill (now I go clipless) but my confidence has suffered mightily on the ski slopes.

Once I went to Starbucks (yes, I know, the evil empire) and biked the next block to work holding my latte in my left hand. I unclipped my right foot, planning to step off to the right, and ... you know what comes next ... slooowwwly tipped over to the left and crashed. But I didn't spill my latte! :D I'm very good at falling NOW.

I get dropped all the time, and it doesn't make it feel any better if it's a guy, a girl, or Lance Armstrong. By a mountain bike when I'm on the road does sting a little bit. :mad:

Two years ago, I got a new backpack. I was quite excited about it, but as soon as I climbed to the top of a divide and began heading down the steep singletrack on the other side, I realized the pack was banging against the back of the helmet when I rose off the seat into downhill position. So I tried to adjust it WITHOUT STOPPING my brisk descent. The next thing I knew, endo, me, on ground, face full of dirt (it even got in my sunglasses), bike on top of me.

During the Pole Pedal Paddle (similar to Bay to Breakers in costumes) race two years ago, we went as the PPP-Passion (based on Mel Gibson's movie). We had three Jesuses and a Mel Gibson (complete with director's clapboard). I created a foam cross and covered it with wood-grain contac paper, and we all took a turn wearing it during each leg of the race. I biked the 20-mile leg with a gi-normous cross on my back. Talk about the weight of my sins ... my neck was killing me by the time I got to the transition place and hopped in the raft for the final leg of the race.

Biking about 3,000 miles last summer, I gained a phenomenon I like to call "chicken butt." :eek: The hairs in my nether region (near the sit bones) all rubbed off due to friction, leaving the skin in that area with the texture of a freshly plucked chicken. In the off-season, it did go away.

I always keep waving at roadies during my commute to work (either on road bike or MTB) and they just kind of stare at me, like, "whaddya doing waving?" Now, the tourers loaded down with panniers ALWAYS wave. Wassup with that?

Your turns! ha ha! :o

03-09-2006, 02:18 PM
My first organized road ride, I'm all decked out in my spandex with a nice light bike with a computer...I get dropped by an old man in work pants and button front shirt on a single speed bike. :D

03-09-2006, 02:39 PM
I know I've had plenty but I seem to have conveniently forgotten them. Now, hubby's humiliating moments I can tell in excruciating detail.:D :D

I'll have to ponder, but then I'll start having nightmares about them.

03-09-2006, 02:57 PM
I guess I just don't find getting passed/dropped to be an embarrassment (because I'm really used to it! :rolleyes: ).

However, probably the most embarrassing moment I can recall was when I was in 7th grade. I used to do a 10 mile loop every day after school on my Pink Peugeot (with pink helmet, and pink jersey). :p At some point, I developed a crush on a boy whose house happened to be along that route.

Yep, you all can see this coming can't you? He's standing out in his front yard. Me... riding along... slowing down to casually make eye contact with him and say hi. Right as I say "Hi" I just dropped flat over on one side from lack of momentum. ;)

03-09-2006, 03:17 PM
Cyclesutra - very funny!

I like most have way too many stories and embarassing moments. Probably my worst: About 20 years ago the RAAM ride was starting from Huntington Beach, CA. I rode my bike over to watch the start. There were thousands of folks lining Main Street waiting for the start. I was riding down Main Street when I heard my name... I turned to see who was calling... also turned my handlbars and yes you know the rest, WHOOP! over the bars, splat onto the ground in front of thousands and TV cameras to boot. My friend slowly turn and walked into the crowd to embarass to help me. Nice huh?

Sad thing I was really hurt but I had to get up, laugh it off, get back on the bike and ride away, face flaming red. Niiiiiiiiicccceeeee! :o

PS: My entire left side was black and blue for weeks. Thankfully I didn't break anything... that's an whole other story to tell!!!! :rolleyes:

03-09-2006, 06:06 PM
Okay, so I've got this thing about undeniable access to my feet. My hubby says I'll get more power from being clipped in. Sounds great, I'm all for creating some speed. So he puts one of his rat-traps on one pedal, with the theory being that I'll get used to one, then add two, then go clipless. After about two weeks, I asked him to add the second. He's not thrilled about the idea, but once I get a bee in my bonnet..... So we set out for a ride together. Me with two cages. In my own driveway, gravel no less,... one foot in.... two feet in.... one cyclist on the ground laughing. Yep, I bit it in my own driveway. Didn't get five whole feet. Lesson- momentum is required prior to entering both cages. Needless to say, hubby removed said offending appendages as I attended to the road rash. Okay, not so much road as rash. Apparently I hit my head in the process (new helmet) and skinned both knees. Will try clips again when I feel braver and have health insurance.:p

03-09-2006, 07:53 PM
When I first got my bike I had no idea that people didnt go clipless straight away. So off I go (much to the horror of my husband) clipped in with really not much of an idea about changing gears (hmm husband tried telling me but I was like yeh yeh how hard can it be).

Well I head down the street and decide it might be easier to go right instead of left at the corner and proceed up a pretty steep hill. Im sure you all know what happened from here. Bike starts to slow I change down a gear except its not down but up and the bike comes to a complete stop. I start to topple and only that my husband set my pedals for easy release am I not getting up close and personel with the road.

Im horrifed at this stage and hope no one has seen and then I hear it "are you ok dear" I turn and there is an older lady in her garden. I say yes thankyou and try to make some sort of dignified exit from this hill.

Two weeks later we get invited to a fourth of July party up the street and Im chatting to a neighbour about how I have started cycling when I hear this voice " so been up the hill lately" . OMG its the lady from the hill she apparently knows all my neighbours and explains how she saw me fall the other day while she was gardening and knew I must be new as I didnt really seem to know what I was doing.

I decided from that days things could only get better - but I still hate that hill.

03-09-2006, 10:06 PM
On bikeforums it was called "the humbling thread" and it was incredibly funny. I learned some interesting things about my husband's embarrassing bike moments...

When I first started riding I had a very heavy bike. I was stopped at a stoplight with both feet on the ground, lost a firm grip on the bike, it fell to one side, and knocked me down. Thus, I fell over in front of many cars while at a dead stop. My, my--Dork City.

I fell three times in one ride trying to learn how to stop with one foot still clipped in (I can do it now--but I have a few knee scars I didn't have before). The last time I bent the derailleur and couldn't get it unbent, so limped into a nearby business, called a cab, and got a pinch flat on the way home because the cabbie bungeed my bike in his trunk and squashed a tire in the process.

03-10-2006, 09:00 AM
My first 5k race (running): I had never been a runner my whole life, and just took it up because my BF at the time was really into tri's. So I sign up for my first race, maybe a month after I started running, and I think my time was something like 50 minutes!!! _And_ the only runners I managed to beat were an 80 year old guy with a brand new hip replacement, and an 11 year old fat kid...

(Now, as Dianyla says, I am so used to being passed/dropped/last, I could care less any more. Whatever! I'm having fun!)

First date with current BF, or I should say first athletic date, we go MTBing on some pretty tame trails. First, I fall for no reason in the grass parking lot, then proceed to fall two more times while riding! I bet he was _really_ impressed!


03-10-2006, 09:20 AM
I'm glad you started this thread!

OK... when I was really new my now ex-husband explained about watching for grooves in the road... and not to get your front tire in one... I didn't equate that with trolley tracks tho... we were out and I dropped the front tire into the trolley track because I didn't quite cross over it... and I stopped when I hit the curb on the other side... endo onto the sidewalk at the stoplight, bike on top of me... traffic ALL screeched to a stop... :rolleyes: apparently they all needed to see the dumb newbie crashing...

I did Tour de Poway this year with friends... on my race bike in my full gear... there was some dude on a rusty old mtn bike in flip flops and board shorts... that dropped us like a rock and didn't even appear to be sweating...:rolleyes:

I got a speed wobble at 47mph when I came out from behind the hill onto the overpass that is part of that downhill... how I kept the bike upright I'll never know... I don't race that downhill stretch anymore...

and Xmas Eve, for the first time ever I crossed my front tire into the back tire of the person I was drafting... the bike reacted much like a slingshot... sending me straight out into the oncoming traffic lane at 18mph, weaving like a drunk, one foot unclipped and water bottle flying across the road... I did not crash and fortunately there was no traffic. I woulda cried if I wrecked my bike...

03-10-2006, 09:41 AM
I did Tour de Poway this year with friends... on my race bike in my full gear... there was some dude on a rusty old mtn bike in flip flops and board shorts... that dropped us like a rock and didn't even appear to be sweating...:rolleyes:

There's a cyclist who's pretty well known in Quebec, I can't remember his name but he was Lynn Bessette's (one of our female pro-racer and olympian in both road and mountain) coach at some point, probably an ex-elite racer himself. He was always biking around on an old clunker, dressed exactly as you describe, plus usually a buttonned-down shirt, with his small dog in a basket attached to his handlebars. He would do the whole Grand Tour (a 7-8 day supported ride with a couple days of major hills usually) this way, too.

Rumor has it that on the first day of training he would meet Bessette at the Gilles-Villeneuve Course (where they have the Grand Prix in Montreal, a favorite spot for cyclists because of the smooth 5,5 km loop of top-notch pavement with one lane closed to cars). He would make her do her first workouts on some old rusty bike. Not sure how she was dressed, but in any case she certainly passed every Colnago and Cervélo around that morning, "humbling" a couple of guys. Of course they didn't know who she was.

So the take-home message is: I think more than a few elite racers have an old clunker they like to use to have fun on the bike and enjoy their sport instead of focusing on speed and performance. So next time you're passed by one of these, you can always think that to yourself, and not be embarassed. :D

03-10-2006, 01:38 PM
bikerchick68's trolley tracks experiment reminded me of another incident. Here in Portland we have these highly illustrative signs for bicyclists near most train tracks:

Every time I see one of these I wince at the memory. I think they used me as the model for this drawing, and I've still got a lovely road tattoo on my elbow from this. Though, I think I was in too much pain to feel embarrassed. :eek:

03-10-2006, 02:00 PM
My most memorable oopsie was when I went out for a ride with Super-Amazing-Cyclist Woman. At the end of the ride, on the way back to our cars, she dropped me bad and ended up waiting for me by my car. As I come cruising into the parking lot, I realized that my cleat must be frozen to the pedal (this was New Year's Eve, and it was cold and started snowing shortly after the ride). Whatever it was, I could NOT unclip! So, I could either run into Super-Amazing-Cyclist Woman, or I could hit my own car. I choose the car. I jerked hard on the handlebar, bonked into my back bumper, and fell over. :p :eek: Finally, mid-fall, the cleat unclipped. She didn't laugh, but I'm sure she was laughing on the inside...I must have looked mighty funny.
Once I got home I realized that the handlebar jerk had broken my computer wire. :( :mad:

03-12-2006, 08:04 AM
I had finally gotten a sleek new road bike with clipless pedals after years of riding mountain bikes with and without rat-traps. I had practiced clipping in and out from the comfort of my own living room before daring to take the show on the road. I even rode across the yard a couple times clipping in and out, just in case I fell, the grass would cushion the blow. Finally, I decide to head out...down the hill to the signal, slowed down, unclipped one side, negotiated the red light just fine. Half mile down the road, a stop sign appears and suddenly, I forget that I am clipped to my pedals! I think the crash happened in slow motion, because I felt myself ever-so-slowly tipping to the left, then down on my rump. I wasn't hurt, more importantly, the bike was unharmed, but as I was untangling myself from the bike, a car pulled up beside me. Down rolls the passenger side window, 'Are you okay?' a woman asks. :eek: As my cheeks flame, I nod and say yes. I am sure she drove off thinking I was some sort of clod!

03-14-2006, 01:39 PM
OK this didn't happen while riding but did happen on a bike ride.

About 10 years ago I did a Backroads ride through coastal Oregon. The ride was tough plus, well, the Backroads food was not suiting my delicate tastes. On the second to last day, they served Oatmeal for breakfast. I hate Oatmeal and to make it worse, there was no sugar or milk. Ugh, "dry" Oatmeal!

This was a camping trip so I got my Oatmeal and was *****ing all the way to the picnic table. 3 people were seated on one side. 2 on the other. I sat between the two. As soon as I sat, the 3 on the other side got up. No one realized the table was on an angle, pointing down on my side. The table started to flip. The two on either end where able to bail, but since I was in the middle, I got stuck. The table flipped over, I landed on my back - legs straight up. The bowl of oatmeal flipped into the air and came straight down on my crotch. I am not making this up! Of course, it was the fuinniest thing anyone had ever seen before. Most got sick from laughing. I just remember having to sit under a faucet trying to clean the crotch of my shorts (my only other pair had been washed the night before and were wet).

To finish out my beautiful day, I got a flat and found out I had the wrong tube (Shrader v presta) and later that day, trying to catch the group, I hit some rail road tracks wrong, flipped over the bike, landed on my head and shoulder and was unconcious a few moments. I got to spend my last day in Oregon in the hospital. Will never forget that trip that's for sure! And t this day, I won't eat Oatmeal! :mad:

03-14-2006, 01:43 PM
bcipam - sorry but I am laughing thats so funny.....not the bit about the fall and hospital though thats just scary.

03-14-2006, 02:21 PM
bcipam -

I'll take your oatmeal (comfort food for me) & you can have ALL my bananas.

Note to parents: Do not pour your daughter cornflakes, slice bananas on top,liberally douse it all with milk, and only then call said daughter to breakfast, and insist she sit there until the entire disgusting mess is eaten. You know, the daughter who hates sogginess in any food. You'll put her off bananas and cornflakes for life. Really. {shudder}

03-14-2006, 02:34 PM
Mom, I carefully stage everyting so I can put add milk at just the last minute and no delays while eating. Soggy! Yuck!

03-14-2006, 06:53 PM
So things that have happened to me...

When I was young (before my teen years) I was riding and talking to my sister. I was not paying attention to the road. I remember suddenly looking up and seeing a parked car in front of me. Before I could react I hit the car and went flying and landed spread eagle on its hood.

When picking up Silver and getting saddle height, etc. all setup while on the trainer at the LBS, I leaned a little too far on the right and started tipping. Since I was clipped in the bike went with me... since the bike was locked in the trainer, the trainer did too... Merilee from the shop is just looking in horror as I'm just laughing my butt off. :rolleyes:

I can't count the number of times I've attempted to dismount and my shorts end up getting caught on the nose of the saddle. Unfortunately my balance sucks so typically I end up in the bushes in my front yard. I did this once as a car was passing by the house. The woman hit her brakes and shouted out to me "are you ok?!" Laughing I responded that I was fine. :)


03-14-2006, 08:41 PM
hmmm lets see
falling over at least twice in one day at stop signs during a tour in Spain, because I over balanced my panniers with a paper back book and couldn't clip out in time.

being driven into a curb by a fellow rider on my first STP (Seattle to Portland Classic) and going down dramatically (though I was unhurt thankfully) right in front of the quadripalegic (yes quadripalegic, with use of his arms but not full use of his hands - I used to work at a hospital and we sent a disabled team every year) rider that we were all riding with. It really was a great crash- me flying one way, the bike going the other with the plus that it didn't even draw any blood.

03-14-2006, 09:25 PM
When I was young (before my teen years) I was riding and talking to my sister. I was not paying attention to the road. I remember suddenly looking up and seeing a parked car in front of me. Before I could react I hit the car and went flying and landed spread eagle on its hood. Oooh, ooh, mee too ! Except in my case I was about 13 and did an over the handlebars el-face-o into the rear door of a station wagon. Teeth first. I had a funny little inverted V chipped out of my two front top teeth, until my dentist ground down the bottoms so the V is pretty much gone now.

03-14-2006, 11:49 PM
falling over at least twice in one day at stop signs during a tour in Spain, because I over balanced my panniers with a paper back book and couldn't clip out in time.
Was that the Camino de Santiago, by any chance? :)

03-15-2006, 07:18 AM
This story was only potentially embarassing, but I could have gotten in big trouble with my parents as I was only 16 at the time (in 1972). I planned a weekend bike tour-camping trip with 2 friends, a guy and a girl. Not sure how I got away with this except that my parents were out of town and my grandmother let me go. Anyway, the 3 of us were meeting at a street corner at 6 am. I showed up, and the guy showed up, but we waited and waited for the girl. All the while I'm sitting there thinking "How am I going to explain to my parents that I went on a weekend bike tour with a guy?" The guy and I had no interest in each other, just lots of interest in biking. But my parents might not have seen it that way. Luckily the girl finally showed up 45 minutes late and I was spared the embarassing parental explanation. But I think my grandmother got in trouble for letting me go. I was such a wayward teen with a bike, always off riding.

03-15-2006, 08:15 AM
Was that the Camino de Santiago, by any chance? :)
No - my husband and I did a 2 week self supported (hotels -no camping) / planned tour of Andalucia (Sevilla - Palma del Rio - Cordoba - Zuheros - Alcala la Real - Granada - Antequerra -Carmona - Sevilla) My husband was inspired by watching the Vuelta :p

03-15-2006, 01:05 PM
bcipam -

I'll take your oatmeal (comfort food for me) & you can have ALL my bananas.

Note to parents: Do not pour your daughter cornflakes, slice bananas on top,liberally douse it all with milk, and only then call said daughter to breakfast, and insist she sit there until the entire disgusting mess is eaten. You know, the daughter who hates sogginess in any food. You'll put her off bananas and cornflakes for life. Really. {shudder}

Well that won't work cause I also dislike bananas but strangely and yes I admit this makes no sense, the only way I will eat bananas is cut up and on Cherrios with lots of milk.

Speaking of making kids eat icky things... in my day (a hundred years ago) my Mom used to make us sit at the table and not only eat adult size porportions (no wonder I battle my weight) but also things like liver and lamb both of which to this day I won't come near. I can remember sitting slumped over at the dinner table, it's about 11 o'clock at night, I'm tired and hungry (been crying since 6 so all snotty and sick) and so stubborn I just refused to eat just one bite of liver. My mother also stubborn, is mad at me cause I won't let her go to bed and she's gonna torture me until I eat that liver. As an adult I had to go into therapy because of those liver dinners (and uh well yes, maybe because of my Mom).

Yes parents don't make your kids eat something icky. Sad thing is how would my life have been improved if I ate the liver? Vegatables I can understand but liver.... Yuck!!!! :mad:

03-15-2006, 02:14 PM
Sad thing is how would my life have been improved if I ate the liver? Vegatables I can understand but liver.... Yuck!!!! :mad:
Well, it is extremely rich in iron. But plain liver is a bit much to stomach. I much prefer it in the pate/foie gras format alongside a nice wine. :)

03-15-2006, 02:31 PM
... in my day (a hundred years ago) my Mom used to make us sit at the table and ... she's gonna torture me until I eat that liver. As an adult I had to go into therapy because of those liver dinners (and uh well yes, maybe because of my Mom).

Um, my dad would turn on the 12-inch black-and-white television in the kitchen and make us watch PBS specials about starving Ethiopians until we'd eat our vegetables.

"Those starvin' little kids in Africa would LOVE to have your green beans!" Daddy would shout.

"Send them over there!" I'd tearfully and defiantly say.

Yes, parental issues... whole new thread for that one?

03-15-2006, 02:58 PM
OMG... this is SUCH a great thread... at some level I can relate to every single thread... :D you have me cracking up here...

hey Dianyla... that sign you posted... THAT'S IT! That is exactly what I did... what a riot... I don't feel quite so bad now that I know enough people do it to warrant a sign! :eek: :D :p

03-15-2006, 09:39 PM
This is where I feel lucky. There's only a few foods that I won't eat and typically I'll try anything a couple of times.

Of course *other* people think I'm just odd for eating some of things I do eat. I just point out cultural differences. :p

However, I will _not_ eat fish eyes. My parents did. I just could not deal with the fish staring back at me. They were taunting me. Taunting I tell you. :eek:


03-16-2006, 05:41 AM
Why Why why do/did parents make their kids eat liver?

Ahhh the memories of childhood-KISS, liver & banana seat bikes...


03-16-2006, 03:57 PM
As a freshman I joined the bike club to meet people and stay active. Unfortunately for me I didn't know the area and when they took us on the first long ride I peddled my a$$ off to keep up with the more experienced riders (I really didn't want to get lost out in the country). Well, we go down around the reservour, and then a couple miles into it we start up this monster hill. I can't ride any more so I put my foot down to walk the rest of the hill and I have no feeling in my legs and collapse right there:eek: Not embarrassing enough, a couple days later I'm eating lunch and hear someone from the bike club call out "HEY CRASH!" yup, that's me :o the only reason I lived it down is that soon after some "experienced" riders got lost and ended up in another state!!!:D

03-17-2006, 09:20 PM
I would say the time my skinny tire (1978) caught a groove on a dirt path and I face planted...or the time I rode my bike to school when it was still too cold, hit a patch of ice, flipped sideways onto the street, and ripped up my pantyhose (1977)--I was riding in a SKIRT? Don't remember that, but I do remember ripped pantyhose and road rash. I would say those times, but those were just accidents.

The most humbling thing that happens these days is getting the back crotch of my bike shorts caught on the nose of my saddle when I'm trying to get back on the bike as the light turns green. Sheesh. :rolleyes:

03-17-2006, 10:08 PM
Why Why why do/did parents make their kids eat liver? c

I love liver. Sauteed with onions! Yum! Even liked it as a kid. BikerHen

03-26-2006, 10:39 AM
I've had a few embarrassing momements. I think the worst was last July when I went on my first group mtb ride. It was described as a "meander." It was 98 degrees out and half the people had bikes that looked like they were falling apart and they had jeans on. The ride was in a place that I cross country ski in, so I thought it would be OK. Let me tell you, I walked most of it and spent the rest of the time screaming, sweating, and swearing. I was last. The sweep was getting pissed at me. Then, at the end, when we went out on the road to get back to our cars, I thought I would faint trying to ride that mb up a big hill on the road with those little cranks. I didn't get back on my mb until last Sunday.

Then there was the time I crashed going down a 20% grade on my first tour in vermont. It was a little wet out and I was freaked out by the descent. I was screaming, "MY brakes failed," and my husband was yelling at me to just let go of the brakes... I decided to go down instead. I was lying in the road, still clipped in when some people down the road at a historic covered bridge were yelling, "Are you OK?" I was so embarrassed, I got right up and rode off and finished the ride. But the next day i was so sore and bruised, I couldn't do the big climb.
I only fell once from forgetting to unclip, in the middle of a busy intersection with cars all around me. That never happened again. But I have an intense dislike of stops where you come to a little rise and it's hard to start up again. No matter what gear I use, I always get nervous and sometimes drag myself across the road with the foot that's not clipped in. That's embarrassing!

03-26-2006, 12:37 PM
I love liver. Sauteed with onions! Yum! Even liked it as a kid. BikerHen

Mmmm mmmm. Lambs' fry and bacon. :D Never saw how eating liver and kidneys and what-have-you was any worse/different than eating meat. Soggy cereal, on the other hand... :eek:

04-07-2006, 07:29 AM
I've gone out to a group ride, gotten the bike out of the car in a pre-caffeine muddle, and put the back wheel on backwards (that's right, chain not lined up with derailleur). Funny thing, moving the pedals didn't move the bike! The group was just pulling off... but they stopped and waited while I fixed it...

... and I'm still working on that fear of not being strong enough to get the bike going, and scootering across a whole intersection... but it's getting bette.r

04-07-2006, 11:31 AM
but on a greenbroke horse as a teenager(eons ago) We're weaving through the rows of pecan trees when she decides she's tired of being ridden. She takes me right at a branch that's about chest level. We were cantering pretty fast, so the only choice I have is to grab the branch and hang on.:eek:

I looked pretty funny hanging about 4.5 feet from the ground in this pecan tree. My sisters finally turned their horses around to help me down AFTER they were through laughing!!:rolleyes:

She actually turned out to be one of the best riding horses we owned, after she bucked me off bareback, scraped me off on the side of the barn and rabbit hopped me a couple of times also. I miss having a horse at times, but my knees don't:eek: Have to really enjoy my bike now. At least I'm in control(most of the time).;)

Donna :cool:

04-08-2006, 07:23 PM
My most embarrassing moment was in October, when I was chased by that big scary dog. I kept riding away from where the dog was. I rode 10 miles until I ran out of road - it turned into big chunky white gravel. Now, I was thinking to myself - how am I going to get home??? I didn't have the phone with me (duh) and was in the middle of nowhere. I just couldn't go back towards that dog - I knew he and his buddy would be waiting for me. Well - my only choice was to ask for help. I went up to a farmer (a young gentleman) and asked him to throw me and my bike in the back of his truck and drive me past that dog. As my husband put it, "how could a guy turn down a woman in cycling clothes". The farmer didn't laugh too mcuh and even put my bike in the back of his truck and let me ride in the front. He grinned the entire way back. I felt so inept. BUT - the dog was waiting for me, so it was a good move.

04-14-2006, 04:51 AM
A week before moving to Australia Ian(da man...) and I went out to Woodhill (mtn bike park) near Auckland to have a quiet day in the forest-(normally the place is packed on weekends but we went on a wed)

After about 2hrs of riding i was a bit tired and came over some small sandy hill & the next thing i know i was over my handlebars..not before i hit the bit above my privates on the head of my bicycle on the way down...I was alone and was in pain for a bit there. I couldn't walk for 5 min or so...(Had i been a guy..:eek: ) and couldn't bend well for the next few days.

Then today whilst out i went to go around a corner with a bit of pea gravel i was fine going into the corner but didn't notice a blackboy bush on my right side..next thing i knew i heard a whomp & landed on my left side..My biking partner & I had a good giggle & tried to set off but noticed my back wheel's quick release became loose....


04-15-2006, 10:49 AM
My mate Debs and I were cycling very slowly around a forest trail in a place called Thetford in England - possibly the flattest, least technical mtb centre you could imagine... when I have to cycle through a mudddy puddle, and I fall in. Typical.

the following explanation I initially wrote to amuse my friends, who are always keen to hear of my latest disaster, perhaps a little too keen! I decided to tell it as it should have been... :o not sure how the humour might translate... but here goes! (oh I should point out the 'beast' is a section of singletrack with a few bumps in it!)

"…Racing along the fire road Polly looks around; there’s no one to be seen, she’s alone, just her and the sun bleached stumps which broken and abandoned scatter the barren landscape. She turns again, catching a glimpse as she does of her sidekick; Die-hard Debs. She is relieved but not surprised that Debs too has made it past the snarling beast…

Far from relaxing, Polly doesn’t let her concentration waver, her toned body suddenly tenses, her perfectly manicured fingers hover over her brake levers… the landscape has changed. No longer is the sky visible above her head, she has been plunged into darkness – a strange unearthly twilight, silent and menacing. Struggling to decipher the curves of the route ahead, Polly carefully picks her way through the dense undergrowth of the tree strewn singletrack, twisting, turning, all the time anxious not to scrub off too much speed… but it is then that she sees it. Ahead; its outline barely visible in the murky distance… The puddle of Gloom!

All too soon the puddle is upon her, a vast expanse of sticky gloop… its depth unfathomable, its effects potentially devastating. As she approaches this brown oozing mass, she can see the surface begin to tremble… Polly can only wonder what lies beneath. Which line should she take? Left? Right? Left…the decision irrelevant, Polly’s fate is sealed.

As our heroine races past the edge of the danger, a long slimy tentacle springs out and winds itself around her rear hub. One sharp tug and the back wheel of Polly’s bike is dragged into the mire, the Chris King hubs screaming with anger. Polly bravely tries to throw herself from her steed, to avoid a muddy fate worse than death. As she crashes to the ground she is aware of her bike spinning round above her, pivoting on her foot. Only her incredible strength saves her and her bike from being sucked under the surface of this terrible quicksand…

As Polly lies at the edge of the menace, clinging stoically to her bike with only one cleat, Die-hard Debs appears… her razor sharp senses immediately assessing the situation. She walks carefully around the Puddle of Gloom, her eyes transfixed. Eventually she speaks …

“Blinkin' 'eck Poll…. What on earth have you done this time? And… how the blazes have you managed to be still clipped into your bike but it facing the other way round?…”

It was very embarrassing, I was covered in mud and unable to move until Debs rescued me, in fact I lay there going "no, no, I'm fine really" as several small children and pensioners cleared the puddle, and offered to help... doh!

04-15-2006, 02:45 PM
A wonderful tale of woe! :D I think surfing through acres of mud is about the only technical skill I possess. :p

04-17-2006, 08:44 AM
On a ride with the boys, my first season on the road and we've covered 25 miles or so. We stop to take a quick break in farm country at our favorite U shaped driveway. We pull in the far side, coast back to the near side to easily get back on the road. So I am the last one in - coasting, feeling pretty darn cool that I'm able to coast one foot like - slowing, slowing, slowing, Tipping! and slowing! damn! Can't get my foot out, so I fall - so close that I'm afraid I'm going to set off a domino effect catastrophe. Manage not to hit anyone else, but end up on my back, still clipped in, with the bike completely upside down, in the air, and my water bottle starts to drip on me.


Still haven't lived that one down.

04-18-2006, 09:40 AM
I've been lurking but this is so great I have to add my own!!!!

I was about 12 miles into a 30 mile ride on my new bike with the BF on Sunday - we had just stopped and added ice & water to the water bottles so the wb was starting to sweat. We were on a short stretch between stoplights so I reached for a drink - went to put the wb back and dropped it. BF was in front of me so I yelled for him to wait - I unclipped, stopped - caught my shorts on my seat (what is it with this???) - tipped sideways (somehow managing not to fall completley over) just as 2 young guys in a mercedes rolled past. The mercedes guys then pull up to the stoplight and tell the BF I'd dropped my water - I hope they didn't tell him I almost busted.

I'm so glad I didn't completely crash :o

My other embarrasing moment happened when I was riding years ago - I was riding with a small group of guys downtown on a weekend. We rounded a corner and slowed for traffic. A very large Cadillac pulled up beside us (very very close) - freaked me out and to keep my balance I hit the car with my left hand from front to back as it slowed up beside me... I ran into one of the guys at a race last year and he re-told the story (laughing the entire time) to my BF... I can't believe he remembered after 18 years.

I'm sure there are other stories but I'm choosing not to remember...

04-18-2006, 09:46 AM
end up on my back, still clipped in, with the bike completely upside down, in the air, and my water bottle starts to drip on me.

Don't feel bad... BF did that on our first group ride this year - there were probably 50 people that saw him upside down before he could get unclipped and upright...

08-19-2006, 03:23 PM
OMG, these stories are really funny. Mine isn't as great, but involves clipless pedals, of course...:rolleyes: I was riding home from work at about 2am, enjoying no traffic and the cool air. I came to a major intersection, and saw one lone car in the distance. Instead of busting the light, I thought I would do the right thing and wait for the car and use the pedestrian signal. As i headed to the curb to hit the signal, I kind of forgot to clip out. Didn't even remember. Must have been tired. Anyways, as I was falling to my right, it dawns on me, but it was too late. I just fell over. So I am now laying on my right side, which is the side I normally clip out of, and I can't get my foot out. I am laying there like an upside down turtle...helpless. :eek: After a little concentration, I clip out my left foot and quickly scramble upright before someone sees me! Thank goodness it was two in the morning!

08-28-2006, 03:28 PM
I got my first pair of padded bike shorts in June. For about the first two weeks I wore them, everytime I got out of the saddle they'd get caught and I'd almost moon many carloads of people. Got me into the habit of wearing underpants under my shorts ;-)

08-30-2006, 11:43 AM
In reverse chronological order:

1. Went on a road ride and the only jersey I had was one I wore maybe once. I also had forgotten my sport bra, so had to wear my regular bra. (and by regular, I mean frilly, fancy, and did I mention....see-through?) Can we see where this is going, folks? So as I finish my 45 mile ride and am going back to my car, one of my friends waves me down to say 'hi'. I stop and she says 'gosh, telegirl, you might want to zip up.' I look down and realize that the zipper on this jersey ain't so hot and had unzipped all the way down, leaving me basically riding topless. And I wondered why two different cars of guys stopped to let me ride across the road in front of them. :rolleyes:

2. Road riding and had to pee, so hubby tells me to go over this burm and by the railroad tracks cuz no one will see me. So, I am peeing and I hear this truck coming down the road. Oh, wait, no, it is a truck coming down the RAILROAD TRACKS. He politely waved. It is hard to maintain any sense of dignity in that situation.

3. Too many slow motion tip-overs at various times because of inattention.

Ok, there is not enough room on this board to cover all of these, so I will leave some stories for later.....I think almost everything has happened to me- except the oatmeal on the crotch story. I think that one is a first. :D

08-31-2006, 06:26 AM
I had a decent one yesterday. I am learning to ride clipless. I head out for a morning ride yesterday forgetting to account for morning school traffic. I ended up in a spot where 3 school zones meet, so I decided to practice scooching along with the stop and go traffic. I unclipped on the left side and was doing OK. But when I lost momentum and a car was in front of me, I went over to my right. Everything went flying everywhere. I got a booboo on my knee. I felt dumb.

09-20-2006, 03:45 AM
Oh, wonderful thread! Here are a few of my own:

classic: first clipless ride. I've been clipping in and out of those darn pedals all the way home as practice, so I feel I have the hang of it but I've obviously got the right one a bit too tight. So next light I coast to a stop, left foot out, hey - I can do this! And timber over to the right, of course.

ugly: I'm 16 years old, and have borrowed a bike too small for me to go to the store to buy ice-cream. I'm on my way back, going around a 90 degree turn, and stand up to pedal. The plastic bag I have hanging off one handlebar swings right into the spokes, the front wheel stops dead and I face-plant into the gravel. I broke both upper front teeth (now root canaled) and bit a sizeable hole in my lower lip.

dorky: coming down a large road at a fairly high speed, lucky, no traffic, music playing on my ear plugs... Cool music, Grease, actually, I start swinging my front wheel in time to the music (honestly, I *never* do this normally). Loud HONK! from a car trying to pass me. Oops, apparently there was some traffic there after all...