How do you find time?

[DrBee]

Hi Ladies,

I have been totally bitten by the cycling bug, but I can't seem to find much time to ride. I have 2 kids (ages 4 and 2) and when I get home from work it's a daily "mommy's home" celebration and I don't have the heart to run in the door and throw on my cycling clothes and run back out the door. I also feel guilty because my DH has been home with them all day - yes he's a stay-at-home-dad. Do any of you have this kind of problem? How do you deal with it?

Last summer I rode at 5:30 in the morning in order to get in daily rides. It's still a bit dark at 5:30, so not an option right now - soon though. And on the weekends, I ride while they're napping and my husband is in the shop (he's a woodworker). I'd like to ride at least every other day, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Am I being selfish?

[MomOnBike]

How far away is work? Can you commute by bike? That's a good way to get miles in doing something you'd be doing anyway.

The kids are at an awkward age, being kind of heavy for a trailer, and young to ride, but with thought, and help from DH, maybe the four of you could ride together in the evenings. They might want to get out of the house, and a ride with you could be a treat. Especially if ice cream is involved. :)

If you don't push them with wildly inflated expectations, you just might have riding companions later.

[Trekhawk]

fishdr - No you are not being selfish you do need a little time just for you.
I have three kids (my youngest is not at school yet) so I only get out to ride on the two days he is at Preschool. On the weekends I try to go for one longer ride and one short ride so that I still have plenty of time left to spend with the family. At the moment the weather is not being very bike friendly so its not really an issue but it is hard trying to balance riding and family and for you a job too. I guess the key is flexibility - when you have kids you just have to take each day at a time because one never knows what drama will be waiting just around the corner.:eek:

[Brandi]

Selfish? NO way! You just have to explane to them that it makes you feel better to ride everyday. And if you feel better you can be a better mommy to them. you need your cup to be filled just as much as your family needs there's. You are like so many mother's out there. Mine was not like that growing up. Your family will know the difference between you being selfish and not.

[DrBee]

How far away is work? Can you commute by bike? That's a good way to get miles in doing something you'd be doing anyway.

The kids are at an awkward age, being kind of heavy for a trailer, and young to ride, but with thought, and help from DH, maybe the four of you could ride together in the evenings.

Work is 25 miles away. Not too commutable. At least I save on gas by carpooling.

We do have a trailer - combined, the kids only weigh around 60lbs. Of course, I can say "only" because I'm not the one pulling them in the trailer. My husband is very supportive and delays their nap if I'm able to make it home from work early so I can get out for a short ride after work while they're still sleeping. I forgot to mention that he also likes to ride. He gets his time in with them in the trailer during the day, too. They love it! There just aren't any opportunities for long rides. The kids would go batty in the trailer for a long ride. Maybe I should be grateful for the time that I do get on the bike. It's better than nothing.

Nice - the tornado sirens are going off. We're getting a major storm right now.:eek:

update - tornados sighted in the area, but none right here or at home. The worst has passed. Apparently at home the trashcan lid went flying across the yard like a flying saucer and slammed into the fence. sweeeeet.

[Kimmyt]

25 miles is a long way to commute by bike, but I know of many people that ride that distance. Or maybe think of ways to combine car and bike commuting so that you can still get some miles in, if not the full 25.

For example, drive halfway in to work, park your car somewhere safe and then take the bike off the back, ride in to work. Or drive in to work one day with the bike on the back, then bike the 25 miles home, the next day bike the 25 miles in and drive home. Continue this as necessary.

Commuting to work not only benefits your riding skillz, but really does help your frame of mind when you get in feeling more refreshed than tired! There's nothing like a bit of adrenaline to get your morning started off right!

K.

[CorsairMac]

Fish: another thought would be to "drive" partway there and then bike commute the rest of the way in - if there's a safe place to leave your car all day. Don't know what your work schedule is like but (when I deem the weather is warmer) I ride on my lunchbreak. I get an hour for lunch so I can get at least a 45 min ride in with the extra 15 min for changing and freshening up. Would that be doable for you??

Also: does your DH ride?? If you could get him involved you could get trailers and ride with your DH And your kids - then you don't have to feel guilty or leave anyone at home.

[DrBee]

After an hour or so of power outage...

I have thought of riding to work. My fear is that the roads are pretty lousy (remember - I'm in Mississippi) and there are many large scary, bike chasing dogs between here and home. I've become pretty much completely paranoid about dogs after I was chased last Fall. It's all pretty much farmland with packs of dogs - seriously they run in packs of 4 or 5 around here. I'm going to drive the back way a couple of times and scope out the dog situation. As I said - I carpool. I could ride one way and ride in the car the other way.

Corsair - Good idea on the lunch rides - I only get a 1/2 hour for lunch, however we have very flexible schedules here and I could just work longer in the afternoon. We have nice roads around the research station (and only nice dogs). I might try to figure out a way to do the bike 1/2 way in thing, too.

I'm going to try to get the family (DH included) out with the trailer more this Spring. He also takes the kids out in the trailer during the day sometimes. That's how he finds time to ride. He's been really sweet about letting me ride in the afternoon.

Great advice y'all - thanks!

[BikeMomma]

Hey Fish -

Like Corsair suggested, riding at lunch is an option. I checked your stable on the "Getting to Know you" thread, and it says you don't have a road bike. If the dogs are that big of a threat to you (you DO have to take that seriously, unfortunately), get yourself a portable trainer (I have a Cyclops Fluid), set yourself up on that, and ride. You can use mountain bikes on them too (just use slicks).

Granted, you don't exactly go anywhere, but you'll still reap the benefits of the fitness gained or maintained. That's actually what I do -- I'm in a similar situation as you. My kids are 8, 5, and 3 (as of today! My baby's 3!), and I get the "mommy's home" mob when I get home, and then I'm pulled from the trainer for baths, tuck-in's, "cuddle with mom" time, etc. and don't get all the trainer time I need. A way to gain back that time is to bring the trainer to work (I keep a spare bike there). I can ride just long enough to get the heart rate up, do some intervals, and get a good sweat going before I have to stop. We have a shower room downstairs, but wet wipes would work just as well to freshen up if you don't have access to a shower.

You're fortunate that your husband rides, so he understands the joy you get from riding, and that he is willing to watch the kids for you when you go out solo. Please do not feel as though you're being selfish, though -- and believe me, I understand exactly what you mean. With all the demands we woman are under these days, holding down responsible jobs (yours is cool!), keeping up the house, raising the kids, handling the finances, planning the birthday parties, and lots more, we need moments in our lives that are just OURS, ones that refresh our soul and lets us be ourselves. Like I said, you're lucky that your husband understands that and supports you. You should NOT feel guilty for what you need to be YOU, an individual, with no labels attached (i.e. mom & wife). You need YOU time.

Good luck and have fun! :)
~BikeMomma

[bikerHen]

I have a business. I currently split my time between working at home and a retail location. I generally work about 25 to 30 hours a week, leaving me time to ride. I have an opportunity to lease the entire space where I currently sublease a small portion. I could move both my machines into this space which would really be much more convenient, practical and better for business. The drawback? The lease would cost a WHOLE bunch more so I would really have to be there 40 hrs. a week, maybe more. I would of course, continue commuting to work, but wouldn't have time for the longer rides I currently do. My other option is to move everything home, sell one machine and hope that I continue to have enough work to make the payments on the remaining machine. At least this option would give me plenty of time to ride. I really want to lease the space and hope for the best business wise, but I don't want to lose my riding time.

So, those of you who do work 40 hours a week, how do you find the time for those longer rides? BikerHen

[sydney_b]

I get my M-F miles commuting, but my boys are old enough to be on there own @ home so I don't have the same problem. When they were little, though, I used to trade time with another mom so we could both work out. Also did a lot of working out in the wee hours of the morning.

There's not much traffic and with good lights on your bike, it's rather a pleasant time of day to ride. (but i'm a morning person anyway)

:)

/s

[ladyjai]

I don't own a car.

work is 8.5 miles away (will be 5 miles away next week) from home. However, I usually tack on a few extra miles to ensure that I get 20-25 per day M-F. I have a young adults' group on tuesdays which is 15 miles from work. (22 miles from home now, 9 next week). I ride to church every sunday, 22 miles. saturdays are the long ride days. If I want to do a century, metric or imperial, or even something more impressive, that is the day. during school, I trained myself to relax on weekends, so now I have difficulty being productive then anyway. so, why not ride a bike? :-D all said and done, my weekly mileage is 150-200+, which is alot. yeah, they're small rides, but hey, all said and done, they're alot of riding. Sometimes, I feel like I live on my bike. When I get on shoes, they are always my bike shoes. I think there is only one day in a week that I might wear an alternative.

long rides. I don't do too many of them. (my definition of long being at least 40 miles) Saturdays, obviously. when I move, it should be interesting. My club will be 20 miles away. so I'll be getting a metric century without trying.
During the past summer, i'd make up my mind and randomly go climb south mountain - a 40 mile ride after work. I arrived at home around 7.30 and had time to do junk before bed.

the other thing I do, is work on speed. the faster I can ride, the more I can ride.

to complete a 40 mile ride

at 10mph - 4 hours.
at 14mph - 2hrs 51 minutes
at 16mph - 2hrs 30 minutes
at 18mph - 2hrs 13min

dreamers times:
at 20mph - 2 hours
at 25mph - 1hr 36min
at 30mph - 1hr 20min

of course, if you find other enjoyments in the bike other than speed or distance, it doesn't really matter. my goal is to get to 18mph with stops as my average speed solo.

[Selkie]

ILast summer I rode at 5:30 in the morning in order to get in daily rides. It's still a bit dark at 5:30, so not an option right now - soon though. And on the weekends, I ride while they're napping and my husband is in the shop (he's a woodworker). I'd like to ride at least every other day, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Am I being selfish?

You're not being selfish. You CAN ride in the dark. Invest in a good headlight, tail light, and reflective gear. I find it a whole new experience (good) - more peaceful. You just have to stay more alert. Make sure you bring a cell phone with you (I also bring pepper spray, just in case).

The good news is that the days are getting longer!

[DrBee]

I really enjoyed the early morning rides last year. I didn't have a light for my bike then - now I do. We're warming up pretty quickly here (it's hitting 80F today), so I'm going to start the morning rides again. Maybe next week. :) On the cooler days, I'll try to bring my bike to work. I feel so much better when I get to ride regularly - lowers stress and gives me time to myself. The morning rides are peaceful. They're pretty satisfying, too. Last year I rode laps around my neighborhood - in the opposite direction of the early morning walkers. There are A LOT of people that walk for exercise in my neighborhood. It's kind of fun to pass them again and again as they don't seem to be covering much distance. ;) I'm going around 12-14 mph on average. Also - in mid summer - morning is the only time to ride here. Our highs are in upper 90's-100's with very high humidity all summer. Yick!

You've convinced me - I'm not being selfish. I realize that I'm allowed to have "me time". I just have to figure out when to squeeze it in. I feel much better now. Thank you all - really. You've had great suggestions.

[fixedgeargirl]

I have a similar dilemma. Even tho daddy is in the house I pretty much function as a single parent. Could you take your bike to work and do your rides after work, without going home first? I understand the difficulty and guilt in leaving after the "mommy's home celebration"! I know I'm a lot more able to concentrate on being with my son if I've taken care of myself first, and taking care of myself means getting a ride in :D !

I'm in Texas, so I know about the late day heat, but this strategy might work for a few more weeks, anyway :D :rolleyes: .

[bouncybouncy]

grand kudos to all who have kids!!!! i stuggle with just trying to get my butt organized, don't know how you do it?!?!?!?!
so nice to have a hubby that is into cycling as you are...makes for easy negotiation:p

just wait til those little ones are on bikes of their own...i just love seeing kids tear it up on the trails!!! saw a little girl have a hissy fit in a bike shop cause her mom took her off this Trek (with training wheels...hehe tooo cute) the little girl was so young she could barely walk still...daddy was so proud!!!! that is gonna be a cycling chick for sure...

anyway...those kids deserve you to be at your best and if riding keeps you there then pedal on momma!!!! (fishdr that is...)

[sydney_b]

I know I'm a lot more able to concentrate on being with my son if I've taken care of myself first, and taking care of myself means getting a ride in :D !

This is similar to what I do. Besides commuting, I try to work in extra mileage before or after work. Of course it means my heavy bags are on the bike, but I figure with the extra 22lbs or so and a good headwind I'm getting a serious work out.

Which I need, because I have 3 boys and checking if chores are done, going over spelling words, making dinner and all that .... goes a lot better if I have the patience and wind-down a decent work-out gives. Your celebration would be delayed, not diminished.

[DrBee]

I'm feeling like I'm going to be able to squeeze in enough rides to keep my sanity. My DH put the kids down for their naps a little later than usual today and I came home early. I just got in from a glorious ride! Ooh it felt so good. :D I made it back right before my DD emerged from her room. She doesn't technically nap anymore ;) Now she's sitting here with me :) All is well with the world.

Tomorrow morning - we're going to both do our rides early. And - next week I'm going to start up my early morning rides. If I can't drag myself out of bed, then I'll take the bike to work.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend with lots of time on the bike. And - I really thank you for all of the advice and support. I never expected all of that from a forum. Amazing!