Village Effect-importance of face to face relationships

[shootingstar]

http://tvo.org/video/210751/susan-pinker-village-effect

She is a developmental psychologist. I'm keen to read this book! Cautions on over-dependence on social media /electronic communication for close relationships. After all, my family and some of my closer friends are living in another province. Some points from her:

*Our closest relationships will decay after 18 months to 5 years of non-face to face in person communication
*problem/limitatons of electronic social medias - diminish accountability for one's comments with other people & makes developing empathy more challenging
*limiting screen time for very young children (under 2 yrs.)
*importance of daily /frequent family meals together

[shootingstar]

This is an American psychologist, Sheryl Turkle, who urges to be more mindful that our social media technology in how we form relationships.
She points how overuse of technology can cause more social isolation and can cause one to fragment /hide from messiness of our meaningful relationships. While tweets, fb can give some information about another person, it doesn't help learn another person deeply/very well.

https://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together

The most negative is expecting technology to give us companionship...ie. robots for the isolated elderly.

[smilingcat]

Tis I don't do FB or Tweets. And when I was working at an office, I always preferred to drop in on other person's office rather than sending an e-mail. Body language and facial expression really does convey lot of hidden feelings. And you also get more of a connection with the other person.

Speaking of which, this is why I like having a booth at a farmers market. It allows me to interact one on one with my customers. And they in turn get to know on personal level of their farmer, moi.

Forum like this is okay but it sure can't beat in person get together.

I also detest texting. Worse than even just talking on the phone. Maybe people want more of this isolation...

[shootingstar]

I don't have a FB account nor do I tweet. I did several years ago just for my partner's business. That was it.

My partner's daughter likes texting because she finds it less intrusive and less demanding as a messenger and message recipient. I guess it depends, because a texting person is still not fully paying attention when their head is down looking at their iPhone.

Hope you are gathering more customers around your food(?) booth at farmers' market. My partner's son has a weekly booth for his butcher and sandwich shop at one of the markets in Toronto. Usually just 2 types of hot sandwiches and roast whole chickens..which are popular since people like a quick afternoon picnic entrée food for their family in the park.

[thekarens]

Personally, I'd much rather text, email, message, whatever than talk on the phone. I have long days at the office and I spend a boatload of it on the phone. I hate the phone with a passion. The only exception I make to talking on the phone is my mother, her I call Mon-Fri. I hate talking on the phone so much my voice mail used to say "If you know me and really want to reach me you'll send me a text."

As far as seeing people goes I'm good with once a week, usually on Sundays when I go to church or the once a month cycle club meeting and or a bike ride with the club on Saturday. The rest of the time I prefer to spend with my family and enjoy the online interaction as I have time and interest. I'm never offended if someone doesn't message me back for a few days or whatever because I know they might be busy or uninterested as well. Plus I've met people from all over the world online that I never would have met if I hadn't been an online kind of person.

Then there's my better half. She got hundreds of love "letters" (ie emails, IMs) before we ever met in person or talked on the phone and I told her stuff online that I never would have had the courage to say face to face. We learned a lot about each other that I don't believe would have been possible without the online interaction.

On the flip side I know that you can't put everyone in the same bucket. For some people online is a complete disaster and should never be used, but it's been a boon and a blessing in my life.

[VeganBikeChick]

My friends are few and far between, and though I do better with a few close friends than many acquaintances, it's hard (and alienating) not getting to see them often. What I'd give to have a close girlfriend to just gab with on a frequent basis or even to grab a glass of wine or go for a bike ride or walk with.

[shootingstar]

One of my sisters ..over 4,000 km. away, was amazed to learn how few friends I had locally. I think my family has an impression that I'm an extrovert because I've volunteered for a number of organizations at different times in life, each several years long. Or maybe because as a first born, I've had to go forward "first"... But no, not really.

I do have a friend here where since both of us don't have children, we occasionally spontaneously do stuff within 1 hr. of calling one another. However I try not to "lean" on her since I know she has a pile of other long-term friends locally. She is an avid twitterer/twitter reader...which I've gotten used to it. She makes up for it by being a naturally helpful, supportive friend. All other close friends aren't as heavily hooked to their social media as she, in person.