Breast Cancer.

[Raindrop]

I've always been healthy and lead an active life as a personal trainer and fitness instructor. But, as the odds indicate, one in eight women will end up with breast cancer and that one turned out to be me. It was caught in my annual mammogram (which I ALMOST skipped this year). I'd been called back before, but this time I ended up getting a biopsy that showed I have invasive ductal carcinoma. But...it was very small. So, initially it looked like I would just end up with a lumpectomy followed by radiation. Then my oncologist sent me for an MRI because of my dense breast tissue. That came back with two more questionable areas, one small like the original nodule and the other a larger mass. If the larger mass turns out to be cancerous it'll bump me up to stage II and will mean chemo or hormonal intervention and a mastectomy.
So....since it's the holiday season, I'm waiting for an MRI directed biopsy to determine what's going on. I'm self-insured so the lag time allows me to access ACA and get a more robust health insurance plan...which is good.

I'm still busy working out, and doing indoor training as my cardio, but am concerned about how all this will affect my ability to continue my lifestyle. Can anyone give me some words of wisdom or encouragement?

[azfiddle]

Raindrop,
I don't have any words of wisdom about how to proceed with your lifestyle and fitness activities, but here's a hug of encouragement. There's never a good time to get news like this... Keep us posted and I'm hoping for the best for you.

[OakLeaf]

(((((Raindrop))))) I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. There's never a good time, but at this time of year when everyone is already stressed past the breaking point ... Just, hugs to you.

I was going to wait until next month to "come out" since that will be my five year survival. But here are my words: do your homework, do your research, as much as it may feel like klaxons going off inside your head, you do have time to make a decision that you can be comfortable with and that you won't second guess. Don't confine yourself to industry sponsored information. IIRC you have some medical background? Read the medical journals. Understand each step before you make your decision.

The last time I talked about it here I got a lot of judgment and hostility, but my feelings haven't changed (in fact they've been strengthened). I don't get to choose to live forever. So to me, the next best choice is to choose quality of life, even if it means a likelihood of less quantity. In the almost-five years since I found my lump, I've run six marathons, training for my seventh, and the only physical limitations I've had have been from a completely unrelated injury.

My lump is pretty large now, but I have no metastatic symptoms yet. When I do, I'll have some more hard decisions to make. But those are decisions that nearly all of us will have to make, and for some of us, much sooner than we'd hoped. I count myself lucky that I've had such a long time to prepare. I wouldn't have given up my last five years for anything. Eight years really, if I'd done what they wanted after the biopsy.

It's not a popular choice, but I just want to offer that to you to emphasize that you have choices, you have time to make your choices, and there's at least one person here who won't judge whatever you want to choose.

Take good care. Be gentle with yourself. Don't rush your decision. Hugs to you.

[Catrin]

((((Raindrop)))) I've no advice to give other than to send you my very best wishes and hopes as you examine your options and make your choices. There is never a good time to deal with this, do keep us posted.

((((Oakleaf)))) I understand why you chose the path you have, I've seen so many go through so many choices while on the same path.

[Crankin]

I have no personal experience with this, but I have known several people who had active lifestyles like yours, who pretty much continued doing everything they did, throughout their treatment and after. They listened to their bodies, so if they were exhausted, they walked instead run, did slow rides, switched to swimming for awhile, and many added yoga/meditation to help deal with the mental aspect. The only true physical limitations were around weight training. Many years ago, I knew a couple of people who continued teaching at the gym during their treatment. Of course, they took some time off, but they did not stop.
Personally, I think the more you continue doing what you're doing, it will help you make the decisions that are right for you. Good luck dealing with your options.

[azfiddle]

I would add one more thought - mostly for later on, as your journey passes beyond the treatment sphere. My husband is a cancer survivor and found that after the medical professionals were no longer updating him on a regular basis he became more depressed than while actively receiving treatment. One of the routes that he and many cancer survivors take to combat the sense of loss of control over your destiny is through physical activity. It also helps with mental health in general, as I'm sure you know. So as you are finding your way back to the new normal, that will be an important part of keeping your spirits up. Hang in there.

Sharon

[ny biker]

From others I know who've gone through breast cancer treatment, I think you may ending up changing your workouts or taking a break from them during the treatment -- it will be important not to overdo things if you're feeling tired or have to let things heal. But exercise will be an important part of your recovery, especially if you end up having the mastectomy.

Re: Sharon's comments, one of my neighbors has been involved with a support group and sports activities for breast cancer survivors through the hospital where she had her surgery. There are probably similar support services in your area. And, he may have cheated at cycling, but Lance Armstrong started his foundation to help cancer survivors deal with the type of problem she mentions, as well as others (such as financial or insurance issues). They also have some materials to help keep track of treatments. Many people have found their services to be helpful, so it might be worth looking at their website if you haven't already.

Best wishes to you and your family as you go through this.

[Raindrop]

I really, really appreciate each of your answers and support. I'll return and post when I know more about what is the result of the new areas of suspicion and what my plan is. Yesterday it was actually sort of warmish and dry so I got out on my bike. Wow....so much better that riding on the indoor trainer.

Weight-training is my workout of choice so losing that ability, even for a little while will be difficult. But, as I've told my clients, when your body is attempting to heal, it isn't trying to grow muscle at the same time. I just wonder how chemo will affect that.

Anyway, thanks again so much for your support and suggestions.:)

[snapdragen]

If it's any help, I was able to do very light workouts in between chemo sessions. I work with a trainer, she was able to tailor our sessions. Sometimes they were only 1/2 an hour, but that was enough to keep me feeling good.

Now my big wish for you is that you end up with a very simple procedure and no chemo/radiation/etc. Prayers and blessings to you.

[shootingstar]

Best wishes and hugs for simple procedures and if possible no chemo/radiation. You will find your exercise path because already you live how much it benefits you.

[thekarens]

I know nothing, but I wanted to wish you the best and I think I speak for everyone when I say we're here if and when you want to talk about whatever.

[redrhodie]

I just wanted to offer my support since I've also been there. I had a lumpectomy and radiation three years ago, and am on tamoxifen for 5 years. I rode my bike to radiation many times. I wasn't really affected by the fatigue until after treatment was done, and even then I still was able to exercise. I didn't miss any work (but I work part time). I didn't have chemo so I can't speak to that, but radiation wasn't bad. I was lucky to go to a really nice and mellow place for treatment, and that made a big difference. If I had to drive in urban traffic every day for six weeks it would have sucked, but you can get a Cancer Society volunteer to drive you to appointments if you need.

My best advice is to be very gentle with yourself. Relax your routine and give yourself as many breaks as you need. Get massages, eat good food, don't do anything you don't want to do. Treat yourself like a princess.

You're going to be okay. This is scary but it will soon be over. You're in great shape so that will make everything easier.

[ny biker]

I know nothing, but I wanted to wish you the best and I think I speak for everyone when I say we're here if and when you want to talk about whatever.

Yes!!!

[salsabike]

Yep--wishing you well, Raindrop!

[rocknrollgirl]

I can only speak about what my mom went through during her chemo for ovarian cancer. She was VERY active and was able to stay active during treatment. She modified a bit and took it easy the days she did not feel up to it, but for the most part she skied, and went to the gym and did yoga.

We will all keep you in our thoughts. Sending some heaving vibes right now......

[marni]

I too was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma and decided after several needle biopsies and a lumpectomy that when it showed up again, to have a mastectomy. To me the most anguishing effect was the waiting for the phone calls to tell me the results. I had the mastectomy with a great feeling of relief, refused the follow up radiation and suffered through tamoxifen for 18 months before I swore off that as well. I am only three years clear of the surgery but since getting off of the tamoxifen I feel like a whole new person. I was back to training full time about six weeks after surgery but I had been doing elliptical, tread mill, stretching and riding on the trainer in the meantime so although I lost a bit of core strength I was overall in pretty good shape and getting back to realing feeling good was much after that.

Just a passing thought/hint. If you do decide to have a mastectomy, Bike jerseys make a reasonably good fashion statement and the pockets are great for the drainage bag.

Whateve you decide, go forward with confidence, take time to take care of yourself, let others know what you can and can't do and let them help you and most of all know that we are all here any time you want to vent, talk, ask questions or just say hi.

[emily_in_nc]

Some great advice here. I have nothing to add except that I hope you get the best possible news from the tests and an easy treatment journey.

Sending healing thoughts your way!

[Raindrop]

So, the larger mass was cancer but contiguous with the smaller nodule, so bumped me up to a stage II, but it's estrogen/progesterone positive and Her-2 negative which means I SHOULDN'T have to have chemo unless the surgery indicates lymph nodule involvement or the margins aren't clear. Which brings up another subject. I'm only a week out from surgery (a lumpectomy) and I'm re-thinking it and really wanting to have a mastectomy instead. I don't want to be in limbo. I want the whole thing gone!
I have a call into my surgeon and I'm totally aware that the surgery is more involved, but I'm not my breasts and just want this resolved.

[Helene2013]

Sorry to read this. I think too if I had to get through that route I'd go for a mastectomy. No one wants body parts taken away but given the choice, I prefer to keep a leg or an arm than a breast.

I remember when I went through breast reduction, the men I was talking with could not believe I wanted less. For most of them, the more the better! Deuh! Hubby was freaking out. But now that he sees I'm healthier (no more back pain) and that I can do much more without those huge boobs, he's ok with my decision. But would still have me to have more and I'm still a "C". Luckily my scars are not bad but they will always be there as they had to do the anchor type surgery. But why is it that we are often too focused when it comes to sexual body parts and not if it was an arm, a leg, etc... As you say, life is not breasts. It is just part of you and the other parts are just as strong.

Good luck in whatever option you go through. It won't be easy but once this is all over, you'll be back to your old self again.

[thekarens]

I don't blame you either. You do whatever is best for you.

I'm hoping for a speedy recovery for you. Keep us updated when you feel like talking.

[OakLeaf]

I totally get your thinking. For me, bilateral mastectomy was the only other option I considered in any depth. A life where I would have had to go to doctors regularly to be treated like a piece of spoiled meat without intellect or emotion, just didn't seem like any kind of a life at all to me.

Just be aware of the risks beyond the surgery itself - the increased risks of lymphedema and chronic pain, the aftereffects of anesthesia.

Hugs to you whatever you decide. Fingers crossed they stick with the recommendation against chemo. Take good care, and take as much time as you need to both learn and process it all.

[Pax]

((((Raindrop)))). Sending you warm healing thoughts as you walk this path.

[Catrin]

Raindrop, that is a difficult situation with even more challenging paths to consider. Sending you healing thoughts and prayers, and take what time you need. Hopefully they won't change their mind about the chemo!

[Raindrop]

I had my mastectomy yesterday and although I was a zombie all day because of the Dilaudid, I'm now home and feeling really good. In fact, I've only had to use 1/4 of the dose of pain medication since I got home. My scar looks good (no reconstruction) but the drains are a pain to drain, but hopefully will be out by early next week.

[ny biker]

I'm glad it went well! Best wishes on your recovery.

[thekarens]

Glad to hear things went well. Here's to a swift recovery!

[Crankin]

Here's to quick healing!

[emily_in_nc]

Glad you're doing okay, Raindrop. Hope the recovery process is smooth and uneventful!

[shootingstar]

Sending you healing thoughts, raindrop! And a supportive family.

[OakLeaf]

wow, that was fast. Quick and complete healing to you.

[Pax]

So happy to hear it went well! Hear you about the drains, I had them after my reduction and they were really annoying to deal with.

[BikeDutchess]

Heal fast!

[Raindrop]

I went to my post-op appt. yesterday and the lymph nodes were clear (yay), but they found extensive DCIS in my muscle facia so I have radiation in my future which is depressing but oh well, what can you do? Also, they didn't take out the drains but hopefully they'll come out later this week.

The thing I found pretty funny though, was that the total weight of my breast was less than half a pound! I knew I was small but I didn't think I was THAT small!:eek:

[salsabike]

I went to my post-op appt. yesterday and the lymph nodes were clear (yay), but they found extensive DCIS in my muscle facia so I have radiation in my future which is depressing but oh well, what can you do? Also, they didn't take out the drains but hopefully they'll come out later this week.

The thing I found pretty funny though, was that the total weight of my breast was less than half a pound! I knew I was small but I didn't think I was THAT small!:eek:

Raindrop, sending all my best vibes to you as you go forward.

[thekarens]

Thanks for the update! Glad you got some good news even though it wasn't all good.

[OakLeaf]

Take good care, Raindrop.

[Crankin]

Good luck with the remainder of the treatment.

[AppleTree]

Raindrop, sending healing vibes, hope you continue to recover well...take care.

[ibcycling]

Hope you are doing well Raindrop. I've been there and I credit my bike and my cycling friends for helping me get through it. I hope you add an update soon, thinking about you and sending healing thoughts your way.

[Raindrop]

I started radiation AND hormone therapy last week. I have 36 radiation treatments and then I hope that's it! I plan on having a great Summer....lots of riding and then, this Fall, having the other breast removed so I don't have to face MRIs the rest of my life. I also opted not to have reconstruction. I've always been really small and I want to be totally streamlined.;)

[Catrin]

Hang in there Raindrop! We are all rooting for you, please keep us posted.

[shootingstar]

How is your strength Raindrop?

Wishing you lots of improvement.

[snapdragen]

Happy to read you're doing well Raindrop. Take care of yourself.

[Raindrop]

My strength is great! I really want to bump up my upper body training, but my surgeon, doctor and the nurse navigator are all very much against too much too soon due to the threat of lymphoma. I've been back to lower body and core training since about 3 weeks out. I am lucky that I have full range of motion and no pain. I think that was because I went into this being in shape and also due (and this is just a guess) to my small size. It's not as though I had large breasts and so, the mastectomy scar is only about four inches long. My surgeon did an amazing job.:)

[OakLeaf]

So glad you're doing well. Gentle hugs to you.

[salsabike]

Wishing you well, Raindrop, and glad to hear how you are.

[thekarens]

Glad to hear everything seems to be well!