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Pax
11-14-2014, 07:20 AM
I've always liked myself, I'm a good friend, a fair and happy person, and I like how I look. But since mom passed I've been having a really hard time getting back into the groove of taking good care of myself, I eat too much and probably have more wine/beer/bourbon than I "should"; so lately when I'm wide awake in the middle of the night I find I'm berating myself about not losing weight. This is a whole new territory for me.

My honey sent me this Daily Om today, I've been thinking about it all morning, maybe it's this simple:

Start Today
Ending the Cycle

by Madisyn Taylor

Each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve to the universe that we are ready for change.

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, and we may even have given up. However, each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. We may even say out loud that we have tried and struggled and have not found a way, but that we are open to help, and that we intend to keep working to create change for ourselves. Making this declaration to the universe, and to ourselves, may be just the remedy for the stagnation we are experiencing. And, it can be done today, right now.

It is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made have added up to our current situation, but it is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices.

When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we’ve been in that’s been keeping us stuck. Now we can declare our intentions to the universe, knowing that we have done the inner work necessary to allow our lives to change. Allow today to be the day to end cycles and enter into a new way of being.


Thoughts?

lph
11-14-2014, 10:00 AM
That's a nice piece. I like the difference of being ready for change, instead of vowing to make a change, which sets sights a bit too high and may feel too much of a leap. I'm a big believer in not beating yourself up for choices made in the past, as they are always made from the possibilities and needs you had at that moment, not from glorious hindsight.

OakLeaf
11-15-2014, 04:51 AM
To me, it's good advice, but it makes it sound way too simplistic. I think when people tell themselves stories about their past in which they are the "bad guy," it's usually because they're protecting themselves from a reality in which someone else was the bad guy and over which they had no control. To say "what happened to me in the past wasn't because I'm an inherently bad person," is to acknowledge that it could happen to me again, and that there could once again be nothing I could do to prevent it. Internalizing blame gives us the illusion of control. Lots of people choose self-loathing rather than admitting their lack of control. I totally agree that a big part of the ability to move forward, is untangling the hold of the past, but that alone can be a lifetime's work.

rebeccaC
11-16-2014, 01:04 AM
Did some work/photography in San Diego/El Cajon and the El Centro/Salton Sea area these last couple of days. Met a street prostitute in El Cajon while doing some photos and spent a few hours with her. As she said it was just a good vibe thing. We had a good conversation about the way choice is such an interweaving story line in our lives.

I’m still processing my grandmother's passing ….very stern but she was also magic at times and it hurt to lose her presence …I see that hurt/pain as a natural part of life and suffering as a story line we tell ourselves. I see pain as what I feel when I’m connected to myself and want to learn to adapt to the changes loss/hurt/pain brings into my life. Suffering is the story I create around a loss, hopefully not an excuse to not deal with the pain.

I like what Pema Chodron wrote about it being easy to suffer and not as easy to feel pain and still see the joy in life.

Anyway long trip and sleep deprived….. in a good way though


http://rchauvin.smugmug.com/photos/i-7VCJ7fZ/0/L/i-7VCJ7fZ-L.jpg
My grandmother was with me in Bombay beach on the Salton sea…we had an ongoing talk about Bukowski

Crankin
11-16-2014, 04:30 AM
I am always a little leery of these kinds of statements. Everyone processes things differently; if it works for you, fine. If not, that's fine, too.
My professional experience has been the "voice in your head" is the thing that sabotages most people. That voice is usually negative, stuck in the past, or projecting the future. That's why mindfulness has an emphasis on being in the present.