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Veronica
04-02-2014, 06:49 AM
I grow weary of the spin that our black students are being suspended more than any other cultural group. I am sure the numbers don't lie, but it sure would be nice if the media looked at more than the numbers.

We have had an ongoing issue with off campus fights after school as the students walk home. Eight students, all the same ethnicity. Hmmm... and they are going out of their way to have these fights. The most direct routes home, don't have them going on the same streets. Is it any wonder that teachers with seniority are fed up with this crap and want to teach at the "good" schools?

I know all the teachers at my school actually want to teach and the behaviors of some of out students make that impossible. And I'm not talking just a little back talk here - which I get from every single black boy I have this year. That's 5 out of 31 students who when asked to do pretty much anything that they don't want to, respond inappropriately. Seriously, I don't want them singing during a test or dancing their way to the pencil sharpener, or taking another kid's hat off his desk as they go to get drinks. I put up with this garbage all day long. They don't get suspended for this. They get suspended for calling parent volunteers b!tches, fights and bringing weapons to school


My black girls have the drama thing going - one is involved in the after school fights.

Just tired of the media and politicians thinking the teachers are the ones messing up.

Veronica

Sky King
04-02-2014, 07:12 AM
I do not envy your job. Thanks for your dedication and hard work. I recently finished reading Random Family, for me a chilling book, making me once again ask "Are we okay with the way our society seems to be going" I don't have an answer to the lack of respect and we could pass many hours discussing. Is it society, is it family, is it the way we depict how to behave in Television and the Movies. Is it our total sense of individual entitlement. I appreciate the time frame of my school - we had our mouths wash out with soap, etc. A pendulum swing back to a little more behavior rules would not be a bad thing but I don't know how we get there. If parents and society don't embrace and support the value of the teacher than it is such an uphill battle.

Crankin
04-02-2014, 08:14 AM
This issue involves social, political, racial, and even religious norms. Poverty, though is the biggest overarching factor. That said, it's hard to teach when the things you are describing are happening.
The school can't work on these issues in isolation. It needs to involve other community mental health and social service agencies. Families can't change, at least the amount of change needed here, alone. Washing their mouths out with soap might stop the behavior in the short term, but it won't solve any of the real issues. Until this country decides to really tackle inequality, well, it will continue.
I wish I had an answer, but I don't.

Veronica
04-02-2014, 08:28 AM
It's a huge issue, with no real answers. My principal spent her entire day yesterday, trying to get to the bottom of this after school issue. All the parents of the involved students insist their child is being "bullied" and of course the other kid is entirely to blame.

I try to get the bulk of my kids on board with the rules with talking about how we need them to be able to keep our focus on the "big" picture - their learning. But, I can only control what happens in my little space, and even that control is an illusion! :D

Would you believe we have a kid smearing the bathroom walls with feces?

Fun stuff.

Veronica

rebeccaC
04-02-2014, 11:11 AM
The school can't work on these issues in isolation. It needs to involve other community mental health and social service agencies.

I agree on the power of a community and school working together to expand the possibilities for creating a supportive and healthy learning environment.

I have a good friend teaching in a minority, low-income and high crime community school in Los Angeles. The school has worked hard on building community partnerships through the Los Angeles Education Partnership. The school has programs like parent engagement groups seeking to not only involve parents in the education process but also responding to their fears about their children’s survival in terms of both safety and learning, a program with psychiatric social workers from a community clinic operating an on site clinic, working with both students and community residents and a partnership with the LA Land Trust which built a large community garden for environmental and agriculture learning and for use by students and community residents.

My friend has learned that understanding the shared set of experiences her students have helps greatly in not being trapped in a paradigm about what students cannot do but rather what their personal and cultural strengths allow them to do. The school also uses strategies that plays to strengths yet also encourages weaknesses to become stronger.

My friend and some other teachers started a 9th grade success group that focuses on low performing entering freshmen and a mentoring program that involves juniors and seniors as mentors to the incoming students.
One of the most successful programs the school has implemented is a student run peer mediation group that helps resolve things like racial conflicts to romantic conflicts to family issues. Those student mediators also help train the teachers in understanding their peer problems and mediation.

Of course there are still problems at my friends school but with administrators, teachers, students and the community working together there can be many more moments of success and encouragement for those involved! Hopefully more people can see that possibility of the strength of bringing together school staff, students and community partners to solve problems.

Thanks for the 15 minutes of positive thinking this gave me during my lunch :)


Edit...Veronica, I talked to my teacher friend tonight about this. Your location says you’re from the San Fran area. She said you may want to look into what the Berkeley Alliance (the city and UC) are doing on equity/minority issues in the communities/schools they are working in.

Crankin
04-02-2014, 01:26 PM
And this is why my clinic has contracts with school districts. I see 5 kids at the high school in the town I used to teach in; everyone benefits. I get out of the office, the kids get a therapist who is comfortable at a school, and the parents don't have to drive them 15 miles for therapy.

smilingcat
04-03-2014, 07:08 AM
I wouldn't call this a political rant. It's a societal rant. World today is so different than when I was growing up. It is just so hard to imagine how even girls can act so violently and so aggressively.

Parents trying to "protect" their own in misguided manner are the ones who really need the counseling. If they understood that what they are doing is detrimental to their children's future prospect, maybe they would have a better approach in dealing and setting limits on their children's behavior. It all starts from home!

Growing up, if my father ever found out or even had a hint that I was causing trouble, the "hammer" came down really hard. No if buts then... It was like that from my earliest childhood memories. No excuse was accepted. He also expected that I got an A for my grades in math, science, English, history. Anything less was not acceptable. I was expected to do the very best of my ability and nothing less. I still carry that attitude with me even today.

My sincere sympathy,

Crankin
04-03-2014, 11:18 AM
High expectations are good, very good, but not everyone can get all As. I sure didn't, and I have 2 master's degrees. Everyone is different, and the main thing is for parents to know how to actually talk to their kids so the kids will talk to them, be able to set boundaries and rules with a neutral affect and voice, and be consistent in enforcing them, but also being flexible about some things, that are well, just not that important. I never wanted my kids to do anything "bad," but they knew if they did, they could tell us. They might get punished, but they knew we still loved them. Authoritarian and permissive parenting don't work. Authoritative parenting does. Unfortunately, most parents (regardless of culture) need to learn how to do this.
Now that I see more of a cross section of adolescents, in terms of SES, I am seeing too many that are cutting, starving themselves, and making themselves just plain sick, both mentally and physically from the pressures some parents and the community puts on them.

shootingstar
04-03-2014, 12:00 PM
I'm not a parent. Simply an aunt of 7 nieces and nephews from 3 sisters.

It's tough how to convey the message to kids to be firm and hold children accountable for their actions, but have the door open so that children aren't afraid to tell parents. My father in particular placed demands on us young to be academically good but above all, show that we had some self-discipline to focus and study. However if this has not been balanced off by my own tendencies to be a vorarcious book reader where really I read anything I chose (I read stuff waaaaay adult beyond my years) and also for me to dabble on arts, crafts on my own, I probably wouldn't have "flourished" to understand my own strengths and weaknesses. My father gave up choosing stuff (a lot of it too difficult for gr. 1, gr.2) for us after he realized we ....were fine choosing books we liked, etc.

For a very long time, I had thought I had parents who were paranoid that we would get abducted, stalked, etc. We got a lot warnings and often made to accompany each other when walking to school, etc. when young. But remember my father wasn't around to give us car rides to and from school hardly at all. (My mother can't drive.) So in retrospect, when now many parents drive their children everywhere, my parents did take consider risk and trust in each of us from grade school through to high school. My mother made sure she at least met each of our best friends, even if she didn't know much English. But it was/still is legitimate for parents to know generally who their kids hung around with for hours and hours outside of home.

I do think that it is important that parents give sense of comfort to a child of recognizing a child's natural strengths and give time/patience to improve on their weaknesses...with understanding what happens if a child repeatedly transgresses (hurts others, breaks the law, etc.).

Honest I wouldn't want to be parent nowadays and trying to figure out how to protect, explain the dangerous violent crap on the open Internet, strangers on FB/twitter.. Just a different and to me, more outlets for danger since some of us grew up without the Internet.

salsabike
04-03-2014, 04:18 PM
High expectations are good, very good, but not everyone can get all As. I sure didn't, and I have 2 master's degrees. Everyone is different, and the main thing is for parents to know how to actually talk to their kids so the kids will talk to them, be able to set boundaries and rules with a neutral affect and voice, and be consistent in enforcing them, but also being flexible about some things, that are well, just not that important. I never wanted my kids to do anything "bad," but they knew if they did, they could tell us. They might get punished, but they knew we still loved them. Authoritarian and permissive parenting don't work. Authoritative parenting does. Unfortunately, most parents (regardless of culture) need to learn how to do this.
Now that I see more of a cross section of adolescents, in terms of SES, I am seeing too many that are cutting, starving themselves, and making themselves just plain sick, both mentally and physically from the pressures some parents and the community puts on them.

Well said.

Trek420
04-06-2014, 06:59 AM
Just tired of the media and politicians thinking the teachers are the ones messing up.

Veronica

Just wondering how much of this could be due to the parents; lack of involvement, concern, involvement with the school or even other issues in the home?

Edited to add: What Crankin sed :rolleyes: ;) :cool:

Wahine
04-06-2014, 03:30 PM
I don't have any answers or insights. There are many others on this forum much more qualified to discuss the underlying issues. I just wanted to say that the whole situation sucks and my heart goes out to you. Your job is unbelievably difficult.

OakLeaf
04-08-2014, 05:47 AM
Interesting article: http://www.alternet.org/education/learning-while-black-school-prison-pipeline-and-what-we-can-do-about-it?page=0%2C1&paging=off&current_page=1

V., I'm just posting this out of interest, not suggesting that you should be the one to spearhead bringing restorative justice to your school, especially not with everything else you do.

+1 on how difficult your job is, and how much I admire your dedication to it.

Veronica
04-08-2014, 06:27 AM
I'm just glad I have a place I can vent. :D My poor husband is sick of hearing the same things over and over. We found out last Wed. that we had to do our state science testing this week - the week before spring break. We started yesterday and will finish it today. Testing in CA this year is a disaster. Language Arts and Math are on the computer. I have yet to have 31 working computers in the lab... That's a whole other issue.

Last Thursday I told my class that we have to do the science testing this week. We have covered everything in science this year - except the chapter on the human body. I suggested they read that chapter over the weekend. About 12 of them took their books home; they were studying together before school yesterday morning and again at their morning recess. The other 2 fifth grade teachers were stunned. "How do you get so many of them to care?" one of then asked me. I don't know how you can be a teacher and not work on developing rapport with your kids. They care because I've made them believe it's important to always try your hardest and to give your best effort.

Today is Jump Rope for Heart day. My class is jumping after lunch during my prep. I'm bringing a change of clothes and going out doing my prep time to jump with them. Partly, 'cause I like jump rope, partly because I won't be responsible for discipline during this time and can just play with them and mostly because the kids will like it. It's going to be like 85 degrees and I am going to stink after! But I've only got 50 minutes of the day left at that point. You can bet the other two teachers won't be out there.

Back to the science test - one of my black boys works so freakin' hard. His family has been homeless and he came to me last March. He was wild and very resistant to authority all the rest of fourth grade. He's made so much progress this year in fifth grade, but he still has the "attitude" with other adults. I've been trying to coach him in how to speak his mind without sounding like a jerk because the gut reaction of the adults will be that he's just another loser kid. I worry so much about him leaving me for middle school. I hope he connects with one of his teachers there, that one of them will see beyond the "bad boy" and will push him to continue to excel at academics. He's mischievous and can be really hilarious. He's a disruption on occasion, but he's a good kid. He was one of my "studiers".

Veronica

Crankin
04-09-2014, 04:21 AM
What you describe is why I kept teaching for 31 years.
Oak, in reference to the article you linked, 2 things. One, they are using the restorative justice concept in some schools around here, and two, I had the occasion to deal with a KIPP school last fall, in my old job. One of my clients, transferred to this new charter school. She had been going to a very good elementary school in a very rough part of Lowell. She didn't live near the school, Lowell has school choice in a limited way. This kid was referred for counseling by this public school and I saw her at school. The kid and her mom were relocated here in a "protective" program by the courts in another state, far away, because of DV perpetrated by the father. That said, the KIPP school was uncooperative in every way, to the point I was meeting with the kid in an open area in the cafeteria! One day, I went in, in January, and I was told I could no longer see her at school. Basically, they didn't want outsiders observing their program. There must have been 10 different therapists coming in, from different agencies and we were all banned. It was so creepy, I left every week with a sick feeling in my stomach.