Gap year(s)

[Melalvai]

My daughter is a senior in high school and I want to encourage her to at least consider not going straight into college. She's a great student, responsible, has excellent grades, I just want her to consider the option of delaying college (or even...dare I say it...not going to college at all!) It's fine if she decides to go to college right away anyway, but her decision will be stronger if she thinks about other options. And I want her to feel like it IS a choice.

I'm browsing around looking for ideas, maybe something will catch her attention. Money is an issue, but you can throw out ideas as if it isn't, if you like. Her plan at the moment is to become a civil engineer (bike lanes and traffic lights!). She is interested in math and traveling. She wants to do Engineers Without Borders. She speaks decent Spanish.

So if you could go back and have a gap year between high school & college, or perhaps you did, or perhaps you didn't go to college, what would/ did you do? (Habitat for Humanity seems to have some good programs, so if you have experience with that, that would be useful to know about.)

[OakLeaf]

I went straight to college out of high school, but I had two years between college and law school. Most of that time I worked as a legal secretary, and it was really great experience learning the language and how law is actually practiced. If she can find an internship in a county engineer's office or a civil engineering firm, maybe that would be a way to go?

[Veronica]

I got married after my freshman year of college. It's worked great for us - but I don't advise it! I tried going back to Wash U. after we got married and my honey was stationed at Camp Pendelton. I was on a full scholarship and didn't want to give it up, but wanted to get married. I dropped out of Wash U that December; it was just too hard to be separated once we were married. I took a semester off and transferred into UC - Irvine. I worked retail and then taught swimming. Retail sucked! But I was a lot more serious about my education when I had to start paying for it when I went to UCI. Yeah, it was loans, but those grades became a lot more important when it was OUR money.

I grew up poor and wanted the house in the suburbs - picket fence optional. But once you settle down and have obligations, you lose some options. I didn't really think about when I was 19, not sure I was capable of thinking about it. I'm not sure what I would tell my 19 year old self.

I know my gap time convinced me I did not want be"stuck" working retail and I definitely wanted my degree.

Veronica

[Crankin]

My younger son wanted to take a gap year very badly. To him, it meant living at home, rent free, and racing. We said, fine, but you have to get a job of some kind and defer your admission one year, no waiting to apply. We also said he could do City Year (your daughter might like this, it's basically Teach for America without a degree), go to Israel and do volunteer work, or work as a teacher's aide, as he had done this in HS. He turned his nose up at our suggestions, so off he went to U of A. He came home in May with good grades and promptly enlisted in the Marines. He is getting out in March and has essentially had his 9 year Gap year! At 27, he is going back to school as a second semester sophomore.
In retrospect, we should have given him a little more leeway. It was not usual for kids around here to take a year off and I was frantic he would never go to college. While he was an excellent student and graduated HS with a full semester's worth of college credits, he's always marched to the beat of a different drummer. He was close to leaving the military a couple of times in the past 9 years, but he got really huge bonuses for staying, so he stayed. He also had the opportunity to go to the Naval Academy or do a college completion program for NCOs and keep his rank and pay while in school. He turned both down and said he had to do it "his way." So, he's set for $, has tons of investments and his education is paid for. His wife is in her junior year at Cal State Long Beach and I think her influence was a lot stronger than mine.
I haven't changed my mind about the necessity of a college education, but I am pretty sure I would have handled him staying home and racing for a year a lot better than I handled him enlisting. I guess what I am saying, is listen to your daughter and set some boundaries at the same time.

[tulip]

I would have liked to have been an exchange student somewhere after high school and before college. I went straight to college at a large university, but I don't think that's necessarily the only option or best option. I think I might have done better to go to a community college and transferred to a regular college. I also REALLY wish I had spent a year abroad in college. I just didn't have my act together to pursue it. I wanted to do it but somehow I thought it would just happen, magically, by wishing for it. When no one offered it, I figured I must not be good enough. Youth is wasted on the Young!

My brother worked as a carpenter's helper for a year before he went to college, learned about paying bills and being on time and teamwork--stuff you don't learn in art history classes! He was ready for college and life after that; it's taken me a lot longer to figure it out.

I think a gap year should be required!

[Becky]

I wish that I had felt like a gap year was an option.

[shootingstar]

I would say the opposite for me:

I did my 2 university degree years immediately after one another after high school. But the caveat here is that during my 3rd year in university, I was volunteering several hrs. per month at a non-profit org. on cross-cultural education and studies.The organization provided information resources tailored to people ready to work overseas in developing countries and for locals ie. high school students, college and universities on third world issues, historical colonization, race relations and immigration issues. It was difficult for people to get this information other than academic tomes which is not easy for the lay public. Hence, our organization provided more accessible information.

It was through this organization/volunteer experience, I understood the power of providing information to the right people at the right time in their lives. This motivated me to pursue my information science degree...after my English literature degree.

I couldn't have been able to afford to take a gap year. I might have easily lost some student grant money.

Melavli: She might want to consider something in geotechnical engineering or biomedical /biomechanical engineering (ie. making of prosethses and devices for the physically disabled) or transporatation...where tomorrow I will be meeting with electrical and mechanical engineers specialized in transit rail power traction, communications and signalling systems. Mission-critical stuff. :) Bridge design engineers, if highly experienced, are elite group in civil /structural engineering world. There is aerospace engineeriing which my brother-in-law's engineering faculty is side by side with this specialty area.

There is also the world of fire protection engineering ...civil, mechanical, electrical and chemical engineers with a focus on fire safety design.

I did work with all these specialty engineers ...from the information provision side. I never worked in a public nor school library. All specialized areas of knowledge and serving adults.

[Crankin]

Also adding that all I did in college was study and work. I lived with my then boyfriend/fiance. Although I went to 4 schools (small and private, community college, 2 year upper division school and large state university), I was totally focused on getting out and getting a job. I looked wistfully at my older son's college experience: living in the dorm in a wonderful college town, finding a major he loved by "mistake," spending a semester abroad, getting a great liberal arts education, and doing an internship that ultimately became his first job in a field he is still employed in. I could have done all of that, but I was too focused on work and not enough on the education part of college.

[thekarens]

I'd vote against it. I know way too many people who took a break either in the beginning or middle and never finished their degree. In this market it's hard to find even an entry level job with a degree much less without one.

I told both my boys they didn't have to go, but if they didn't they had to get a job and pay rent.

My oldest boy is a junior at a liberal arts college and will graduate debt free. He can take time off then if he wants to.

[Kiwi Stoker]

+ 1 thekarens. I wen striaght to 3 years uni after high school, then went working and went back and did night school. It was sooo hard to get back into the swing of studying, exams and researching. To be honest also the lure of money is hard to ignore as well.

If you know what you want to do at university, just go and do it. Even if you don't quite know but defineitely want to go, do it as the first year is really feeling out the direction you want to take, what department and lecturers are good etc.

I would only do a gap year if I had no idea what to do and then it would have to be organised (like employment or volunteering). Australia armed forces are offering a one "gap year" trial with no issues if you don't want to continue that is be interesting. You get paid plus get training credits like leadership skills etc which would be totally useful out in the real world.

[Owlie]

I'd vote against it. I know way too many people who took a break either in the beginning or middle and never finished their degree. In this market it's hard to find even an entry level job with a degree much less without one.

I told both my boys they didn't have to go, but if they didn't they had to get a job and pay rent.

My oldest boy is a junior at a liberal arts college and will graduate debt free. He can take time off then if he wants to.


I agree with this. I went straight from high school to college, but took a year off before I started my master's. It was a strange thing to get used to studying again.

[lph]

I hadn't heard the expression gap year, but I guess that's what I did - take 4 of them. At the time I remember being very convinced that many more should do something of the sort. I don't know the corresponding age groups in the US, but I quit school when I was 16 to work as a jockey apprentice. I come from a family of academics, and felt that this was my only chance to try it out or it would never happen. I was sure that I would go back to school at some point though. Worked full-time for four years, growing up and out of jockey stature ;-) and went back to school. I was then raring to go and got top grades the first year. Dwindled a bit the last year before university, but I was still incredibly motivated and a lot more mature compared to my fellow schoolmates, who were for the most part just dragging their heels until they were "done". Many of them were actively considering re-doing subjects at a private school later on, to improve their grades...

Maybe it doesn't have to be a gap year, but balance is good for you, whether it's a part-time job or volunteering or anything else. If you or she can afford it I'd say go for it. I wouldn't think of it as a break, though, but as a chance to work doing something different.

[Catrin]

I have a couple of co-workers who went to the Peace Corps between high school and college - and it worked well for them. It provided a different perspective of the world and the people who live in it.

[NbyNW]

I knew a handful of people in college who took a year off -- I think they applied while still in HS, then deferred for a year. They seemed so much more knowledgeable about the world as well as assured as to their reasons for being there. I, on the other hand, had no idea what I was doing. I spent the better part of my 20's trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I was 36 when I finally finished grad school, barely time to get things going with the career while running out of time/opportunity to start a family.

I grew up in a family where my parents were adamant that all my energy should go towards academic achievement, and there was no value in working part-time or summers, unless it was candy-striping at a local hospital (step 1 towards putting together a med school application). Looking back, I really wish I had worked through school. It seems like employers want to know about work experience even coming out of school. It's a great way to differentiate yourself from the pack if you've got it.

If I had taken the time off, I think I would have benefitted by spending my time working/volunteering in fields that I was considering professionally. Maybe travel a little, but with an eye towards whether I wanted that to be related to my career.

[shootingstar]

If the high school grad. is motivated and knows their own natural likes/strengths plus has some paid part-time/summer work experience, then they should capitalize on their drive/motivation. I knew several people who didn't go for college/university but they delayed going back to school too long (several years) or some just never pursued it, but kept on working same type of jobs.

I was working part-time for large blocks of months during my 5 years at university. Coming from a poor family, the options became very tight. None of my siblings took any gap year...all were like me.

[Crankin]

I don't agree that you have to start college after HS and go straight through. Most kids who do gap year programs around here do some sort of organized thing (volunteering or working, travel) that gives a freshman college student a good deal of maturity and perhaps a focus that others don't have.
And NbyNW, you are right about the working. Both of my kids worked summers in HS and had part time jobs starting at age 14. DS #2 started working as a teacher's assistant at the synagogue preschool school program once a month, when he was 13. He also babysat a lot and that was how he made the money to buy his first bike. He then became a teacher assistant in regular religious school, worked in a bike shop, and in a natural foods store. My older son also babysat, worked at Rite Aid (hated that) and at a cafe (where Marni was the manager!). He continued working at the cafe through his first year in college, on breaks. He then got a part time job at a cafe in Amherst, where he basically sliced meat, listened to music, and made a lot of lattes. He quit working in last semester, came home and did an internship during winter session and they offered him a job as soon as he graduated. He has been employed in the same field since. As one of his friends told me, he and his wife are the only "grown-ups" in their age group. They own a house, have decent jobs, and are financially responsible at age 30. Both of them have had their share of menial jobs.
My kids were the only ones of their friends who worked in HS. Everyone else was doing stuff to bolster their academic resumes. I think, for my older son at least, the fact he had done several customer facing, lower level jobs, was a big help for him when he went out in the professional world. And i think for my younger son, being in the military will be a big boost when he gets his degree in economics that he will start working on this year.

[redrhodie]

I took a year off after high school. I wasn't motivated to go to college until I saw what working in a hospital cafeteria was like. Talk about motivating! I lasted 4 months at that job, but it inspired me to put together an awesome portfolio for art school, which I started the next fall.

I know I wouldn't have had as great a college experience if I hadn't taken that year off. Seeing what my options were without a degree was a real wake up call.

[malkin]

I'd strongly recommend that she spend some time becoming truly proficient in Spanish. Rudiments are dandy, but conversational fluency as well as writing skills are really an asset. The cool thing is that she can be doing something else, and it doesn't matter what, building houses or studying cooking or whatever and the language skills will grow naturally in that context.

[lph]

I vividly remember a student couple we knew who both stayed on the fast track and became doctors, through a very structured and rigid schedule with little time to pursue anything else. They came out the other end feeling as if they "had no idea how to be grown-up", as they put it. Granted, we all feel like that at some point, but at the time they were expected to take important decisions about other people's health and wellbeing, and felt totally out of their depth.

Nothing wrong with studying on through, but much to be said for broadening your experiences when possible. If I'd had the chance again I'd go for Peace Corps work, or something like it. I still dream about working for Medecins Sans Frontieres someday.

[shootingstar]

vividly remember a student couple we knew who both stayed on the fast track and became doctors, through a very structured and rigid schedule with little time to pursue anything else. They came out the other end feeling as if they "had no idea how to be grown-up", as they put it. Granted, we all feel like that at some point, but at the time they were expected to take important decisions about other people's health and wellbeing, and felt totally out of their depth.

Honest, all my friends worked part-time or had summer jobs and some came from middle-class families. So I never had any university friends who didn't have already part-time work experience while they were still students. The sister who is a physician noticed a significant socio-economic gap between those like her who had worked part-time and same student-peers who had never worked in jobs during university. She found them more "air-headed". I do remember her giggling her head off at the impracticality of some her student-peers who were bright but clueless. I'm sure they learned ....

[OakLeaf]

I had summer and part-time jobs all through high school and college, but working full time, renting an apartment, paying bills, interacting with people, not being on an academic schedule, all these things were very different from living at home or in a dorm, subsisting mostly off financial aid and parental help, and only having to earn enough to supplement my tuition money and have a little to spend.

Two years wasn't too much time away that I had any difficulty getting back into the swing of studying. Another year or more might've been. But I think that spending that time working in a related field helped with that. As I said, I already knew the language, where most of my first-year classmates had to rack their brains just to do the reading.

[Crankin]

And this is why we "made" our kids work. They didn't have to. But, we wanted to foster independence and financial responsibility, just like our parents did. Well, my parents. DH's parents never did anything to help him, even when they could. But, we also made it clear that school was their first job and no working more than 15 hrs. a week while in school. When I was a high school teacher in AZ, I saw too many kids working 30 hours a week to pay for their car and insurance.
I wouldn't call my kids' friends who didn't work in school air headed. They are all very successful and responsible. They caught up quickly. Some are still in grad school/professional school, most after working for a few years. My older son is pretty adamant about the fact that he has made more business/professional connections through networking with his HS acquaintances/friends than most he met in college.

[tulip]

This has me thinking that maybe I need a gap year now. It's never too late...thanks for starting this discussion!

[GLC1968]

If you know what you want to do at university, just go and do it. Even if you don't quite know but defineitely want to go, do it as the first year is really feeling out the direction you want to take, what department and lecturers are good etc.


This.

I recruit engineers directly out of college (it's the main part of my job) into a technical field. I can tell you that if she wants to be an engineer, it helps tremendously to show purpose and direction in her schooling...even at the HS/Bachelors level. Hiring managers look at that when they look at resumes...particularly for recent grads.

This doesn't mean that she has to go directly to college, but if she wants to and is ready, I would encourage it. If she wants to take a year or two off, then I would HIGHLY recommend spending that time working in a related field. If she can score internships, great...but those can be very hard to come by for HS students. Something like Americorps or working for Habitat for Humanity would probably be a good option for her civil engineering aspirations.

Another thing to consider is that sometimes taking time off and then going back will make it harder academically when your focus is math and science. Ask me how I know this! ;)

Lastly, (and somewhat unrelated to your actual question)...as she starts out in her college degree, someone, somewhere along the line (or a lot of people, like in my case) will tell her that grades are not as important as experience. They'll try to convince her that A's don't matter and that employers would rather see a well rounded student experience instead. That is dead wrong when it comes to engineering. Well-rounded experiences are good, but again, engineering managers like to see purpose, direction and an ability to focus on the task at hand. Good grades AND good relevant experience will point to that. A's will open doors both during her academic career and afterward.

[indigoiis]

Well, I am back in college full time at night (after work) after a twenty two year gap. I have taken classes here and there but this is the first time I am enrolled to finish my degree (I'll have my Associates in May and my Bachelor's next year.) I have a 4.0 GPA and a fairly rigid schedule which suits me at this time in my life. It did not suit me at 19, nor at 22 when I returned for a semester, nor at 35 when I took classes at the Community College.

A gap year would have been good. I was not mature at 19.

My daughter, on the other hand, was extremely focused (she goes to RedRhodie's alma mater) and was not interested in a gap year even though I recommended it. She is also extremely young for her age, although not immature. She's just not a partyer, not very social, and very in to her art and not much else. So school is exactly the right place for her at exactly the right time, and that's the way I feel about where I am at this time in my life.

My sister pushed her kid to go to college and my niece dropped out after 2 weeks. Not everyone is ready to go, no matter how smart.

Gap years have gotten very popular and there are a lot of good, structured programs out there if you look around. But ultimately, I would leave it up to your daughter. We did... even though we felt it was imperative she apply, we were ready for whatever she wanted to do if she had decided not to go. I couldn't have said it would be better to go. Everyone is different. And despite the recruiting desires of hiring entities, the packages are not always so nicely wrapped up. For myself personally, the diversity of my background actually helped me more than any degree could have to land me exactly here (that and, the recommendation of a good friend. :) )

P.S. I also work in higher education and can say for sure there are some kids here who are seriously meant to be here, and others who should be repeating their Senior year of high school.

[Trek-chick]

If I had to do it all over again, I would take a year off or so, and ride across country by bike. I have thought many times on this but, now with being married and having a house and dogs etc. It just does not fit into my life.

I still would LOVE to do this one day but need to talk DH into it....maybe when we retire :)

[shootingstar]

But, we also made it clear that school was their first job and no working more than 15 hrs. a week while in school. When I was a high school teacher in AZ, I saw too many kids working 30 hours a week to pay for their car and insurance.
I totally agree that college or university full-time truly requires majority focus, hrs. and time. I found just working 8-15 hrs. per wk. some school years, just enough for me without dragging my energy around. And I didn't have a car .... Looking back, my parents though they expected us to work at least during summers and supplement with student grants, were VERY generous since we were poor, to ask that if we worked during the school year, it be only weekends.

As for gap years during our working lives...well I guess I had my "gaps" with unemployment looking for work. I do have a work benefit to take a partial paid leave of absence for a restricted period of time. It's nice to have this if life should require that I reset my priorities of personal over work for a short while. WHo knows.... but I know it would not be for taking off and travelling around. No, I don't have the urge to go back to school at this time. :)

[Crankin]

Going back to school at age 55 was not that hard for me. Of course, as a teacher, I had to take many university courses to advance on the salary schedule after getting my first master's in 1979. So, it wasn't like I hadn't stepped foot in a classroom since then. Of course, this was an option for me, because DH could pay the bills, but I had all kinds of scary warnings from the professors in my department about the "stress" of grad school. Yes, it was stressful, but to a grown up who is used to managing time and workload, it was more business as usual. And, I did not give up my usual activities and friends. I am glad it's done, but, really, it was not that bad. Better than staying home and doing nothing!

[ny biker]

I have no regrets about going straight from high school to college. It was a big enough event to move away and start a new life at college. It would have been overwhelming to start something else, do it for a year or so and then start school.

Also I was excited about going away to college and would not have wanted to delay it for any reason.

[smilingcat]

I'll second GLC. I too am an engineer. Grades matter and your drive and purpose in the engineering field matters very much. If she wants to take a gap year, she BETTER have a focused purpose.

I dropped out of HS and never got a GED or what ever that thing is called. Dropped out in Junior year and went straight to an IVY League school. I was determined and I was very focused on what I want to do in my life. I didn't have second thoughts about it. So I'm bit of an odd duck. Also didn't take any break from BS degree to my Masters and I quit during Phd program. I wasn't interested in becoming a tenure track professor at any university although I was a research staff at my alma mater. Different department though. I have loftier plans than to collect more wall/fly paper (honors degrees etc. My father already did that with his MD, Phd in BioChem... or other members of family uncles aunts cousins...) Only one in my family NOT to have a college degree is my sister. I think she was overwhelmed with all the "fly papers" on the wall.

[Trek420]

Only one in my family NOT to have a college degree is my sister. I think she was overwhelmed with all the "fly papers" on the wall.

I'm that person; the only one without a degree. Mom's got a masters, Dad a bachelors in chem, siblings are tenured, published college professors, Knott has 2 bachelors degrees and various and sundry medical certifications, sKnott's on his way, MIL's an author, aunts, uncles and cousins include UN translators, school administrators etc etc ...

In my second year of college my parents asked some questions. In hindsight I should have smiled and shut up but I said "Yes, I'm gay". Since they were supporting me and paying my way through school that ended. I remember clearly thinking that would not stop me and it did not. I found full time work first as a dishwasher, moved up, eventually was a souse chef in some hoity toity places. And while doing that went back to school. So working nights and weekend at hard physical work full time and during the day in school full time. But i got my grades up (some of the college work was pass/fail and I needed grades), the stuff outa the way in the community college (cheap! :) :D) and transfered into a private art school.

And of course all that time repaired/built bridges with my parents, my biggest concern.

I was 3 classes shy of graduating when a disastrous break up (aren't they all so much fun?) happened. I was tired, and tired of the full time night and weekend work plus full time school and I was beginning to get design jobs. So I thought "I have the portfolio, I can quit school and go to work".

Big mistake. I never got that momentum back. I went on to get a really good job if you can ignore that the stress and inactivity nearly killed me but really good job. So that can be done without a degree. Tough, but it can be done. But now the lack of any degree feels like a great big, gaping hole in me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pWSwfVDiq8

So back to school. I'll probably be the oldest person on any graduating stage but back to school somehow.

[indigoiis]

So back to school. I'll probably be the oldest person on any graduating stage but back to school somehow.

I can tell you from experience it really is worth it. But I don't feel like it's a must-have anymore. I like the choices I made. I like being in school right now. And to tell the truth, there are a lot of adults who go back, so you won't be alone. Even in art school.

[shootingstar]

Congrats. to Trek and others here who have the courage and enthusiasm to go back to school! It's another intense journey in life.

[Blueberry]

I've been watching this thread with a lot of interest. I went to a (public) residential high school, and then went to a great college (which wasn't a good fit for me - but my parents like the name and wouldn't pay for me to see another one, so I would have had to go sight-unseen). I went into the engineering school (because that's what they wanted, though I already knew I hated it), worked the max number of hours allowed (because I had to pay the parent contribution too), got some not so good advice and didn't do well in classes my first year - because I didn't want to be doing that track, and ended up graduating with a degree in political science because that's what I had time to get after running far, far away from science. I then went to law school because what the heck else was I going to do with a political science degree. I stuck with law for almost 9 years - which was about 8 years too long. It was a terrible fit for me, and I wasn't happy. So...now I'm starting at square one with science classes and working on getting the pre-medical requirements under my belt, then hopefully med school.

What do I wish I had done differently/my parents had done differently? Gotten some real-life career exposure somewhere. I didn't know to ask for it, and they weren't engaged enough to think of it. Maybe not gone to the really hard high school (though that's where I met DH and I'd like to keep him:)) - I was burned out when I hit college. Not been pushed to work so much to cover my part of the financial aid and theirs (they could have paid, they chose not to) - I just couldn't focus in an 8AM class when I worked until after 11PM. If I had been able to take a year off, it might have made all of the difference (but I probably would have just had to fund my parents - what I did with my summer jobs in high school). Bleh.

Not sure if there's a point here, but hopefully it's a good cautionary tale (and an it's not too late tale).

[OakLeaf]

(((((Trek)))))

I don't think you'll be THE oldest.

DH is really sensitive about not having been to college. I think people like me who come from a place where like everyone we knew went to college, don't necessarily understand that sensitivity. I surely didn't, and I still inadvertently say the wrong thing around DH sometimes. :( Even though I grew up around my mom - who dropped out after two years to get married and start a family, and for almost two decades dreamed about being in college, until she finally joined Teacher Corps and finished her degree at I think 37.

[Crankin]

I had no issue getting my second master's at age 57. I was not the oldest of my cohorts. I had been told there was a man in his 80s, who went through the counseling psych. program a few years ago.

[withm]

I was in my 50s when I completed my MA. There were students older than me in the program. Go for it.

[Trek420]

I grew up around my mom - who dropped out after two years to get married and start a family, and for almost two decades dreamed about being in college, until she finally joined Teacher Corps and finished her degree at I think 37.

My mom dropped out of Cal where she was pursuing an architecture degree when WWII happened. She had learned enough by then to work on logistics of the Liberty ships ;) and she designed the home we kids grew up in (amazing design). She went back to school at about 40 when I started kindergarten and completed a Masters in early childhood ed.


... I don't feel like it's a must-have anymore. I like the choices I made. I like being in school right now. And to tell the truth, there are a lot of adults who go back, so you won't be alone.

I think there's a lot of acceptance of the working student, the returning student now. And if there's an HR person in the bunch I've been told in job search coaching that it's a good thing when it comes to education in putting something like "BA in art in process". Hope that's correct. In fact it's funny since they may think "oh, 20's" and one shows up "50's? Looks 40. Well she bikes".

Like my climbing, slow, steady progress I suppose. :rolleyes:

But back to the OP; sure. Take a gap year. But I'd make sure it somehow prepares one for school. Because I can tell you once you take your foot off the pedal even for a moment or a term it's so hard to get back going again. If I had it to do over I would have never stopped.

[Melalvai]

I felt a little guilty because I haven't checked in for a few days to see if I had any answers to my question, but whoa! What a great conversation! Thank you so much for all your replies.

I'll tell her about Habitat for Humanity and Americorps. I think she's pretty set on going straight to college, which is ok too. Maybe after a semester or two or four, she'll want to take that gap year after all.


This has me thinking that maybe I need a gap year now.
Yeah, me too!

If I had to do it all over again, I would take a year off or so, and ride across country by bike.
Yeah, me too! :D Actually I'd like to do the Superheroes Ride (http://planetsave.com/2008/09/24/riding-a-bike-superhero-bike-tour-of-missouri/).

I always felt I traded a gap year or traveling abroad, that sort of thing, for getting married early & having a kid. It was a pretty good trade!

[Crankin]

After reading your other thread about your DH's father, I realized how young you are, Melavai. Since most people i know with seniors in HS are between 45 and 60, I kind of did a double take when you said your FIL died at age 57... hey, you should take a gap year. With your daughter!

[smilingcat]

First of all, I would like to apologize to anyone who was hurt with my comment about my sister being the only one... Part of it has to do with my family dynamics.

Regardless, I do apologize to those who may have been hurt by my insensitive comment. We all take different life path and no single path is the right one. What is the right path for you is that you are happy and content with the decision you make. I think that is what makes life worth while.

sincerely,

Smilingcat

[EMoonTX]

My mother wanted me to consider waiting a year to enter college, but I was determined--sure I wouldn't get in the following year, and I had my acceptance. We were both right, in a way. I was very immature socially (long complicated reasons, TMI) and in my first year of college, away from home and the stressors, came unglued--and flunked out. I was right, because if I'd waited a year, there's no way I could have paid the new tuition--and as someone who entered when that university was tuition-free, I was covered if I went back and graduated. So after a year of "reconsidering your educational objectives" (that was their phrase) I went back and did graduate, and have never regretted it. But after college, instead of graduate school, I chose to go in the military and served three years active with the USMC. Then went back and got a second degree and some graduate school.

Financially, going straight to college was a good move--my mother, a single parent, couldn't have paid tuition the other way, nor could I have earned that much. As it was, I got some scholarship help and room & board, and worked part-time. Tuition, it seems, always goes up. And in some ways, flunking out was also beneficial (it made me a much more understanding and better tutor--a way I earned money during my second degree & grad school.) Learning to come back from a hard FAIL is an important life skill, and most of us have that happen at some point. The earlier you learn to deal with it, the better. As immature as I was, I don't think a gap year would have done me much good--I was headed for a problem year no matter what.

The time away from academia after that, though, was definitely the right thing to do (though a woman joining the Marines in 1968 was...an anomaly and my mother's friends were all shocked and horrified.) It got me out of my head and into reality.

So I guess what I'm saying is...every young person is different, and some of them will go their own way regardless--and sometimes that will be the best choice and sometimes it won't, but they have to make it. Finances are always a problem--choices some have aren't available to others--but I don't think there's any hard and fast answer about which is better, gap year or college or straight into a job or creating a business. A smart, hardworking young person can get somewhere good by any of these, especially if they're willing to change course until they find the right one.

[amyp]

I'm only 24 and I wish I took a year or two off after high school. My family wanted me to go straight to school. I worked as a dental assistant in high school and had a few internships. I was young and thought I knew what I wanted to go to school for but while going to college I wish I did some traveling/backpacking/bike tour, talk to a few people, open up my mind, discover what majors are out there. I know lots of people I went to school with that changed their major at least 4 times.

I remember in high school junior and senior year everyone was planning on which college to apply to and was already set on a major but I told the teacher I just wanted to travel and everyone thought I was weird because I didn't want to go to school.

I think there is a website called gapyear.com

I think maybe you should get your daughter to intern with a civil engineer if she decides to take a year off and maybe she could work on projects. If your daughter really wants to go to college right away you should let her do that.

[Trek420]

First of all, I would like to apologize to anyone who was hurt with my comment about my sister being the only one...

sincerely,

Smilingcat

I didn't mind. Not offended in the least. I think this is a great discussion and always good to take stock of the past. Who said something along the lines of "the unexamined life is not worth living" something like that. Socrates, I think? Anyway ...

if I could rewind there's lots I'd do differently but then there'd also be a lot I'd miss. Maybe this is another thread: If you could go back and talk to younger you what would you say? I'd tell her:

:cool: There are 2 year degrees and certifications. Get some while catching up in community college and then gone on.

:) You love cooking your way through school (sometimes, and at some of the eateries). Stay with it.

:mad: Do not listen to the advisor at CCA who said "Major in design, that's where the jobs are. There's no future in illustration"