Parents - Argh!!!

[Veronica]

We have a special event today at school. It's been on the class website since the beginning of Feb. It's been prominent in my weekly newsletter (which is part of the weekly progress report!) for just as long.

The office is still getting parents calling to ask what time it is!

Maybe tattos on the child's forehead is the way to go. :D

Veronica

[hebe]

dd goes to nursery every morning in termtime. Last Wednesday I dropped her off with the appropriate object for "Show and tell" which was something beginning with "c". There's a poster telling us all what letter and what day outside. Anyway, the room leader looked at me blankly, as did the other staff, and I felt stupid. I asked them again today as dd loves show and tell, and they apologised for forgetting last week. It's not just the parents...

[zoom-zoom]

My son's school LOVES to spring things on us at the last minute...all the time. A fundraiser tomorrow night that they just e-mailed us about 20 minutes ago. And a parents' night out event (middle school fundraiser - parents pay $5/kid for 3 hours while the middle school kids entertain the younger kids) for this Friday. We already have plans, unfortunately.

They also love to spring $$ field trip plans requiring payment with less than a week to pay. It's not been a financial hardship for us, but I know it is for a lot of families and having so little time to come up with the cash is a struggle.

[Veronica]

I hear what you guys are "sayin" but I've been telling these parents for 2.5 months! That's not last minute.

Veronica

[Crankin]

Fundraisers planned with no notice are the parent group at work. School personnel don't run these things. As far as field trip notices, the trip has probably been publicized in newsletters and web sites for awhile. If you send them home with too much time, they never come back.
My experience, now that I am in another field, is that most people have no organizational or time management skills. One of the people I graduated with was already fired for not doing her paperwork in a timely manner.

[lph]

Ok, to be honest I understand the parents. If they didn't remember there WAS a special event I'd agree they were being clueless, but not remembering the time isn't that unusual. At any given time a parent usually has to remember a dozen different appointments for himself/herself and kids, at different places and different times. Of course parents should all write appointments down, all the time. But even then, there will always be someone who did, but left their notebook at home, or noted the event and the date but not the time, and has to call to check.

Just being human, I'd say :)

[zoom-zoom]

As far as field trip notices, the trip has probably been publicized in newsletters and web sites for awhile.

Nope, every time we've gotten a notice this year it has come with an apology..."sorry for the short notice." I've almost stopped reading the newsletter, since there's never anything new in there (and the school website is never updated). All the important stuff comes home in DS's backpack or in specific e-mails from his teacher. I really like his teacher and the school, but compared to his previous über type-A teacher I always feel like we're not getting any advanced notice for most of what they're doing in the classroom or class events. A friend of mine pulled her DD from the school, since they are cash-strapped and they couldn't deal with never having enough notice to pay for things. We love the Montessori instruction, but the school has never been good about communication in the 5 years that our son has attended.

[Savra]

Ok, I will admit to being one those parents who just can't remember when things happen. My niece (who I'm taking care of) has suggested a big calendar to put in the kitchen but I have poo pooed it like an idiot. I don't know why I can't remember - except that I do have a lot of things on my mind. I will just take this moment to apologize for all distracted parents everywhere. I sympathize with your plight.

[Crankin]

Zoom, this is a private Montessori school? My experience has been that at private schools, things are not done in such an institutionalized routine. Like, where I used to teach, my team web site and newsletter had to be done by a certain date, or you were dead. I also sent my own weekly Lang Arts thing home. My school had "Red Folder" day, when all notices, trip reminders, etc were sent home. There was no excuse; the whole town knew Thursday was the day.

[zoom-zoom]

Zoom, this is a private Montessori school?

Not private, public charter. And they're actually better with communication now than they were a few years ago. The director got the boot a few years back, after he nearly ran the school into the ground, financially (they're still digging out of that hole). Then there was a year with a temporary director. The current director is in her 2nd year and things have been improving.

[limewave]

I am that parent.

But I try hard. I swear. I have never been good at following instructions. I'll read something 3, 4 times and miss the most obvious point. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have my own assistant at who, poor thing, has to double-check everything I do. I make an effort, I truly do. I know I look stupid a lot of times, I feel stupid a lot of times. Wish I could blame it on something like dyslexia but I think it's just my scatterbrain.

[limewave]

Ok, I will admit to being one those parents who just can't remember when things happen. My niece (who I'm taking care of) has suggested a big calendar to put in the kitchen but I have poo pooed it like an idiot. I don't know why I can't remember - except that I do have a lot of things on my mind. I will just take this moment to apologize for all distracted parents everywhere. I sympathize with your plight.

My mom bought me a big calendar for our kitchen in her attempt to keep my organized. It has kind of helped. But I have to remember to write stuff on it. And in order to know to write stuff on it, I need to remember to go through DD's bag every night . . .

[Chile Pepper]

Ok, to be honest I understand the parents. If they didn't remember there WAS a special event I'd agree they were being clueless, but not remembering the time isn't that unusual. At any given time a parent usually has to remember a dozen different appointments for himself/herself and kids, at different places and different times. Of course parents should all write appointments down, all the time. But even then, there will always be someone who did, but left their notebook at home, or noted the event and the date but not the time, and has to call to check.

Just being human, I'd say :)

I'm with lph on this one. We're doing the best we can, considering how thin we are spread.

[Veronica]

I'm with lph on this one. We're doing the best we can, considering how thin we are spread.


But imagine being the office staff, receiving several phone calls, first thing in the morning when it's the most hectic in there.

It frustrates me because I've put the information out there several times to avoid inundating the office staff with needless phone calls.

So maybe I'm wasting my time creating notices and a website to keep parents informed.

Veronica

[PamNY]

But imagine being the office staff, receiving several phone calls, first thing in the morning when it's the most hectic in there.

It frustrates me because I've put the information out there several times to avoid inundating the office staff with needless phone calls.

So maybe I'm wasting my time creating notices and a website to keep parents informed.

It's not a waste of time to inform people, but it might be a waste of energy to fret because you don't get 100 percent success. Can you estimate the percentage of people who had to call?

It's human nature that people don't read carefully or retain information 100 percent of the time. If you didn't create notices and a website, you success rate would presumably be zero.

Chances are you are getting some of the results you want -- just not perfection.

[Veronica]

It's human nature that people don't read carefully or retain information 100 percent of the time. If you didn't create notices and a website, you success rate would presumably be zero.



Where you put your time and energy shows what you value.

My students have been working since the beginning of February on this presentation. It was important to the kids and in my mind should have been important to their parents and should have gone onto a calendar. I bet that if the parent had asked the kid, they would have gotten the correct answer.

The students were amazing and we had a huge number of parents turn up. The custodian had to bring in extra chairs. :D Definitely a successful event.

At least I don't get parents griping that I DON'T communicate. :p

Veronica

[limewave]

Veronica--you are totally right to be frustrated. You have done everything you can 110%. I do not disagree with you.

We have excellent teachers at our kids school. They put so much time and energy into their work and into creating a positive and effective learning environment for the kids.

. . . but sometimes I miss things. I don't mean to. I just do. DD has a stack of papers two inches thick every night.

I've started asking DD about events and important papers. That's helped. She's good at remembering once I ask her.

[Veronica]

. . . but sometimes I miss things. I don't mean to. I just do. DD has a stack of papers two inches thick every night.

I've started asking DD about events and important papers. That's helped. She's good at remembering once I ask her.

No one is perfect. :D Now you can put her in charge of updating the calendar! :p

I was probably more annoyed than I should have been. :rolleyes: The parent I know who called has shared custody and maybe didn't have the kids this weekend. He's a great dad and does lots of volunteering for me. Probably my own pre-presentation jitters getting to me.

Veronica

[limewave]

Hey, everyone gets justifiably frustrated now and then and needs to vent.

Vent away!

[PamNY]

Glad the event was successful.

[Crankin]

Veronica, you sound like I used to before my students did their performance of "A Midsummer's Night Dream." I also looped with my kids, and this event was the culmination of 2 years of hard work. The kids always surprised me with their awesome performances.
Limewave, routine and structure will help you keep up with all of the papers. Go through your kids' bags at the same time everyday and sort the stuff into important, not so important, and throw away. If you are not sure about some of the stuff on the notices, ask your kids. I bet they will know! Then, write things on your big calendar. Having your daughter help do this is a great idea. I suggest a big white board type calendar that is erasable and can be used over and over.