Holidays alone

[jessmarimba]

So, due to some scheduling and communication problems, I'm spending the holidays in CO, alone. I have 7/10 days off between Christmas and New Years and I really have no idea what I'm going to do with that time (especially since money is pretty tight right now). I'm really dreading it. I have money set aside to possibly go skiing with some friends on the 26th but other than that I have no plans.

Plus I am harboring a grudge against the BF, who seemed like he was going to take me up on an offer to use vouchers and get him a ticket out here, but procrastinated on it so long before saying he couldn't that I couldn't get a ticket there at a reasonable price. Part of me is tempted to hop in the car and just drive, anywhere, over New Year's - so no one can find me and I won't be moping around at home. I'm so frustrated. I really loathe holidays by myself. Thanksgiving isn't so bad but Christmas is awful.

[redrhodie]

I'm so sorry, Jess.

[Becky]

((((Jess))))

[OakLeaf]

Aw, (((((jess)))))

[Artista]

Let's get together for coffee while you're off!

[shootingstar]

Jess, there have been different times in life (and probably more that lies ahead..depending who outlives the other), where I've been alone on statutory holidays. (ie. Thanksgiving, etc.)

It is harder in the winter compared to summer when I love being outdoors on the bike and don't care if I'm cycling alone (because I do cycle alone part of the time, even when we living with one another. Our personal schedules just doesn't always jive.)

Even wishing 1-2 close (unattached) female friends by phone/Skype would be appreciated by them (and you) and it doesn't have to be on Christmas Day. That's what I would do, probably before Christmas in case they are going off to visit family.

I would/have:
*prepare a lovely meal for myself
*earlier during the day, probably gone off to nice cafe or to an indoor market to have something
*play some music, etc.

I have a large family ...thousands of kms. away who always hope to speak with me. ...every Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

This is what happens/will continue to happen. It helps alot to have several single, unattached close female friends (and several in my age range who I've known for several decades).

Would I volunteer at a soup kitchen? I dunno. In the past, the volunteer work I've done has been several days/weeks before Christmas Day itself and the organization was doing a fundraiser, event for the public.

[Catrin]

I am sorry Jess...wish I was closer to you so we could at least meet for coffee! I've spent far too many Christmas holidays alone and know exactly what you mean. Hopefully something will work out and you will be able to spend some time with friends.

[indysteel]

(((Jess))). I'm so sorry. I have experienced some pretty lonely holidays myself. I also have pleasant memories of cobbled together plans with friends that turned out better than I expected. Do what you can to be with nearby friends and to pamper yourself in some way. Perhaps try to fit in some volunteer work as well.

[Koronin]

(((Jess)))

[jyyanks]

I'm so sorry! This may be a good time to get some R&R and focus on you. Rent Movies, Borrow Books, Catch Up with friends, Splurge at a spa. If you really dread being alone, perhaps you can join a meetup group (meetup.com) and meet new people. Sending ((hugs)) your way.

[Kiwi Stoker]

Volunteer at a shelter to serve Xmas dinner? Apparently in NZ a lot of people that turn up for Xmas dinner are alone for the holidays but I feel if you can afford it you probably should contribute somehow.

Go to the library and check out a travel guide to your city or somewhere nearby and then visit some places you haven't done or haven't been in a loong while eg. the zoo.

[ladyicon]

Hang in there jess, this will soon pass.

[Becky]

I like Indy's and Kiwi's idea to volunteer somewhere. Helping others always helps me feel better, and it's a way to stay busy on a day when many businesses and attractions are otherwise closed.

More hugs!

[Sky King]

what to do with 7 to 10 days - think outside of the box ;0
1. drive south to the desert with bike and camping gear
2. go explore places in the area you have always wanted to go to but never had the time
3. do something no one ever thought you would do - learn a new skill, paint something crazy
When I lived on the East coast and all my family was in the west I used to spend holidays by the ocean because it was totally different than family tradition.

Good luck and look forward to hearing what new things you discover!

[Reesha]

I like Indy's and Kiwi's idea to volunteer somewhere. Helping others always helps me feel better, and it's a way to stay busy on a day when many businesses and attractions are otherwise closed.

More hugs!

THIS!

I have spent many holidays alone and volunteering somehow has always lifted my spirits. Sometimes I have been lucky enough to be adopted by other families on holidays... coworkers with large families locally etc.

I hope you find some cheer though and keep warm! :o

[tealtreak]

Aw, (((((jess)))))
so sorry- those of us with military families spend lots of holidays with out each other- but there are always folks around in the same situation to hang out with.........If I lived closer you would be welcome here!

[limewave]

Oooh, I like the idea about a little camping trip. That would be awesome.

I agree with volunteering. There are so many people out there, nursing homes, hospitals, shelters, etc. They all can use the help. You always get more back than you give too.

Alot of people I know do group bike rides or runs on Christmas and New Year's Day. That always sounded fun to me.

And the movies. Movie theaters are open on Christmas Day and New Year's Day. I can't even remember the last time I was at a movie theater. I think if I had Christmas Day alone, I would go see a movie.

And I would spend lots of time hiking or running, exploring.

[indysteel]

I read an article a few years ago that said volunteerism is one of a handful of things that consistently helps foster happiness--not just during the holidays, but year round.

[indysteel]

I will add this thought, too: Some of the best times in my life have coincided with when I have had to work the hardest to fight loneliness and sadness. The conscious act of reaching out to others and creating your own fulfillment can be incredibly empowering. I know it's hard but try really hard not to get stuck at the point of self pity. I think feeling self pity is perfectly valid under the circumstances, but try to move past it. You can acknowledge your valid feelings of loneliness without allowing yourself to be consumed by them.

[azfiddle]

Another vote for volunteering.

Visiting a retirement/assisted living center might be really rewarding or helping at the community food bank.

This might be a good time to try something you've never done before, since you will have a lot of time. Is there new craft or hobby you've always wanted to experiment with?

I would like to suggest that if you've never gone to a contra dance, they are very fun, easy to learn (no experience needed), the dancers are usually really friendly and you don't need a partner. They are relatively inexpensive ($10) and done to live music. Usually there is a 20-30 introduction for beginners before the dance starts. FYI: the Colorado dance schedule is at http://www.cfootmad.org/dances.htm

I hope that's helpful- Sharon

[ny biker]

In addition to what others have said...if I had a week here at home with no work and nothing planned, I would use some of the time to get stuff done around the house. Organize your closets, go through old files to see if there is paperwork old enough that you don't need to save it anymore, wash the windows, rearrange the kitchen cabinets...anything you've been wanting to do but haven't had the time and energy for.

[bmccasland]

Am another person that has spent a lot of holidays alone. Frankly I dread the holidays (Thanksgiving/Christmas/NewYears). Sometimes the hardest question to answer is: "What are you doing for _____?" Because there's this awkward silence when you say you don't have plans. It's pretty much a conversation ender. :(

I posted on a local e-group that I was looking for dinner mates for Thanksgiving and wound up having a lovely dinner out. :D So take up offers for coffee, go camping, tour your town or the next town over - but get out of the house!

[salsabike]

I will add this thought, too: Some of the best times in my life have coincided with when I have had to work the hardest to fight loneliness and sadness. The conscious act of reaching out to others and creating your own fulfillment can be incredibly empowering. I know it's hard but try really hard not to get stuck at the point of self pity. I think feeling self pity is perfectly valid under the circumstances, but try to move past it. You can acknowledge your valid feelings of loneliness without allowing yourself to be consumed by them.

Oh, such a lovely post! Thanks, Indysteel.

[Trek420]

(((Jess))

Here in the Velo Girls, a Bay Area a local club has an annual "Christmas Orphans Ride". The streets are ours, let's ride!

http://www.velogirls.com/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.ShowItem&g2_itemId=9217

[solobiker]

[QUOTE=azfiddle;617028]Another vote for volunteering.

Visiting a retirement/assisted living center might be really rewarding or helping at the community food bank.

I work in a nuring home and a lot of these folks are all alone..not including the staff. I have had to work many holidays including Christmas and often try to spend sometime with several of the residents and just visit. They love to talk about the past.

[Kathi]

Sorry you will be alone at Christmas but here is something you can do with the Denver Bicycle Touring Club on New Year's Eve. This has become a New Year's Eve tradition for us.

"New Year’s Eve Saturday, Dec 31 6:30 PM A noisy Hike, Mountain Bike, Ski, or Snowshoe Crawl on Green Mountain! P2-T1, Icy Trail-?, Party-4. All quiet or loud mountain and road bike people invited! Party is about 100 yards from the Alameda crest (Hayden) parking lot. The New Year’s Eve hike will start about 8:00 PM, intending to view the 9:00 PM fireworks display over downtown Denver from the top. Then after returning down, enjoy New Year’s Eve drinks and a re-warming party at our hosts house. Come one, come all, and of course mountain bikes with ice tires are optional".

We'd love for you to join us, PM me for directions.

[jessmarimba]

Kathi, that sounds fantastic! That's right behind my office :) I hope, with the way the weather has been lately, that there is more than mud to hike through!

Sorry to have started this thread and disappeared, I spent the last couple days in bed with yet another awful sinusy cold thing. I'm finally back among the living. I'd also like to put in a vote for mixed berry nyquil being the least offensive flavor I've sampled so far (which is not saying a lot, it's still pretty awful).

Thanks for all of the suggestions. I do have a number of projects that need done around the house, but I'm holding out for warmer weather for most of them. I have one or two I could start that don't require painting or power tools in the (frigid) garage though. Time to get out the sewing machine :)

Not sure why this holiday is getting to me more than most. I spent a handful of Christmases home alone when I was within driving distance(ish) of home (600 miles), so maybe it was knowing that I had the option to get in the car and go back that made those easier. I'm not sure the car would make it cross-country at the moment if I had a meltdown on Christmas Eve!

[redrhodie]

Maybe being sick is contributing to the sad feelings. I bet once you feel better physically, you're going to find some good things to do with this time off. It could be a great time to learn a new skill. If you don't knit, you should try it. There's never enough time to knit.

[jessmarimba]

Maybe being sick is contributing to the sad feelings. I bet once you feel better physically, you're going to find some good things to do with this time off. It could be a great time to learn a new skill. If you don't knit, you should try it. There's never enough time to knit.

I do knit :) But I haven't started anything in awhile. I bought some wonderful alpaca yarn at a consignment-ish place near here and I need to look on Ravelry for a pattern for yarn that thin. I should learn to crochet again too.

[Reesha]

What's the weight?

[ladyicon]

Get outside in the sun! That always makes me feel better :)
Go for a walk, get a kitten or puppy.

[indysteel]

Get outside in the sun! That always makes me feel better :)
Go for a walk, get a kitten or puppy.

I know this advice is totally well intentioned, but I think it's worth stating that one should not get a pet just to get through a lonely patch. You should get a pet because you have the desire and the means to give an animal a good forever home.

[Blueberry]

What's the weight?

Agreed! I love planning knitting projects for people:)

ETA: that sounds kind of snotty and I don't mean for it to. I love knitting, and I love sharing what I've learned. Sometimes, it means I can help with projects:)

[ladyicon]

I know this advice is totally well intentioned, but I think it's worth stating that one should not get a pet just to get through a lonely patch. You should get a pet because you have the desire and the means to give an animal a good forever home.

So sorry.

[indysteel]

No need to apologize; I just thought it was a point worth making. I know far too many people who jump into pet ownership because it looks fun. It is, but it's also a big responsibility.

[jessmarimba]

Get outside in the sun! That always makes me feel better :)
Go for a walk, get a kitten or puppy.

LOL. The last thing I need is another pet :) The latest cat has earned the name "Dammit" already. But thanks :) And I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...for sun...(and temps over 25). Soon though.

The yarn is 50g. Recommends size 4 needles (!) which I don't even have. Wow this stuff is pretty. But I had no idea what I would make when I bought it - just couldn't turn down the price.

[Blueberry]

LOL. The last thing I need is another pet :) The latest cat has earned the name "Dammit" already. But thanks :) And I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...for sun...(and temps over 25). Soon though.

The yarn is 50g. Recommends size 4 needles (!) which I don't even have. Wow this stuff is pretty. But I had no idea what I would make when I bought it - just couldn't turn down the price.

Do you have yardage or brand? I'm going to guess that it's sport weight - which isn't so very tiny - but would be nice to know for sure:)

[jessmarimba]

110 yards, Grignasco? And 2 skeins are Rowan baby alpaca. It isn't too tiny but I'm used to 85g, I guess!

Though now that I checked, I started a sweater years ago using 50g. It's about a quarter of the way done...hah. Should work on that too.

[Reesha]

Yeah, sport weight sounds about right. I'm not sure two skeins is enough to do much with, but I like using that weight of yarn for lace work.

[Blueberry]

Hmmm....I would think hat, cowl, short scarf with a button, fingerless mitts.....

[Reesha]

I suppose she could do a hat. In FACT, there's a fantastic pattern I saw...
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4154/5413508201_909262ef33_z.jpg
I think sport/DK is the right weight for it. I mean to make this hat this winter.
http://www.headhuggers.org/patterns/kpatt15.htm

[jessmarimba]

I was thinking hat, or a set of fingerless (or normal) mittens with one of those knitted headbands. Or maybe learning to do socks.

I like that hat pattern but I don't know how to cable yet though. Yet.

I will say - I got into knitting when a friend's mom gave me a pair of wrist-warmers/fingerless mittens for the office. They are absolutely heaven when it's freezing in here but I still have to type. Probably the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten.

[malkin]

KnittingPatternCentral.com has about a zillion links to free fingerless glove/mitten patterns.

[Reesha]

I was thinking hat, or a set of fingerless (or normal) mittens with one of those knitted headbands. Or maybe learning to do socks.

I like that hat pattern but I don't know how to cable yet though. Yet.

I will say - I got into knitting when a friend's mom gave me a pair of wrist-warmers/fingerless mittens for the office. They are absolutely heaven when it's freezing in here but I still have to type. Probably the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten.

When I wanted to learn to cable, I bought some cabling needles and went to youtube. You will be shocked how easy it is. (Wicked)

[Reesha]

KnittingPatternCentral.com has about a zillion links to free fingerless glove/mitten patterns.

I like ravelry too, although you need a membership and some patterns are paid downloads.

[tealtreak]

LOL. The last thing I need is another pet :) The latest cat has earned the name "Dammit" already. But thanks :) And I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...for sun...(and temps over 25). Soon though.

The yarn is 50g. Recommends size 4 needles (!) which I don't even have. Wow this stuff is pretty. But I had no idea what I would make when I bought it - just couldn't turn down the price.
Move back to VA!!!!!!!! We can ride together in the 57 degrees!!!!!!!!!!! (: (Yes, I am not mentioning the 101 month of July lol)

[jessmarimba]

Oh, I was there for enough of that! Went back to run at Dominion RiverRock and a trail run in July out by Wintergreen. Harsh reminder of what humidity feels like!!

I don't mind cold if it's snowing, and it's snowing again now. Supposedly 6-12 inches by tomorrow :)

[tealtreak]

Oh, I was there for enough of that! Went back to run at Dominion RiverRock and a trail run in July out by Wintergreen. Harsh reminder of what humidity feels like!!

I don't mind cold if it's snowing, and it's snowing again now. Supposedly 6-12 inches by tomorrow :)
Wow- the small world coincidence is too funny! I was at River rock all weekend! Several of "my" kids did the urban assault- we also had friends in the kayak and rock climbing exhibits!

Please let me know next time you are in town! (:

We agree on the snow! Originally from Erie, PA (Buffalo weather) Snow is fun! 38 degree rain is why we belong to the Y !!!!!!!!!!!