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marni
12-09-2011, 08:40 PM
Dear TE sisters and brother(s)

I am asking that everyone spin a bike prayer wheel for the resident 90 year old FIL who has been in the hospital since Saturday with intermittent fever and a UTI. Wenesday they were talking about switching him over to an oral anitbiotic and discharging him to a skilled nursing/rehabilitation facility. Since then he has been completely compos non mentis, raving about the man on the hill who is taking notes so send to company e which will send it to company c in toronto who will make sure that everybody in the hospital in complying with orders. Today he was alternately profane and garbling nonesense. Recognized me momentarily- long enough to complain that they were starving him and stealing his food, even though I know-since I was there that he ate a bit at lunch, since I fed him, ditto dinner.

The doctors keep saying this is just the confusion that happens when older people end up in the hospital and that everything they have checked, blood sugar, blood pressure, blood oxygen, kidney function, liver level, heart etc are all good, he has no carotid artery blocks and that it is just the fact that he is not in familiar surroundings but I do wonder. He is looking bloated but he also has not been out of bed for almost a week. This is a man who last friday, did a full hour workout with the trainer, and has been living with us, doing his own laundry, helping out with light chores around the house, and until this last week has been actively engaged in conversation and current events.

I think I am probably taking this hard, because when I was 9, my grandmother was in the hospital, dying of stomach cancer and who knows what else, and I had to take three hour stints of sitting with her while she moaned and cried piteously and yelled at me to get the nurses to give her something for pain. My mother was there as was an aunt, but grand dad apparently had severe dementia and grandma had collapsed taking care of him so they were dealing with that as well, hence the thin spread of people. My father was there also but he was doing most of the getting grandpa into a care home, and determining what was wrong with him and how that was to be dealt with.

Never the less, I do not have a good feeling about any of this. I hope that I am totally wrong though.

If you have time, ride your bikes a bit, let the wheels spin for dad and send me vibes about your ride, since I haven't been able to get to the gym or ride at all this week.

marni

jessmarimba
12-09-2011, 09:15 PM
Sending good vibes - I want to ride tomorrow. I hope he is back to more normal soon, that sounds like such a sudden, drastic change :(

OakLeaf
12-10-2011, 04:04 AM
(((((((marni)))))))

My bike's in the hopefully gentle hands of FedEx, but I'm spinning virtual wheels for you and your FIL.

Not sure you saw this (http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/11/preventing-hospital-delirium/#more-10671) last month about hospital induced delirium. Might be something to bring up with his doctors.

Reesha
12-10-2011, 04:20 AM
I will send two hours worth of vibes, marni! Hugs!

Crankin
12-10-2011, 04:34 AM
I will be spinning my wheels for you for quite a bit today... planning to ride to a meeting in Arlington and back, about 45 miles.

My grandfather experienced hospital induced delirium. It is a real thing, which I saw. I hope things settle down. No matter what happens, you have certainly done your share in this situation. Reminds me of the fact I just couldn't do it.

indysteel
12-10-2011, 05:20 AM
(((marni and FIL))). Sending healing thoughts your way. Please keep us posted.

shootingstar
12-10-2011, 06:00 AM
I'll be spinning thoughts and wheels for you and others, marni.

My partner's mother steadily fell into dementia after she was admitted into a nursing home. She increasingly switched to only German. So only her son (my partner) could understand her. One could see that, if she saw me, she spoke German which she never did when she was in her alert years.

Hope it's a comfy, nice nursing home. (It was for partner's mother.)

redrhodie
12-10-2011, 06:08 AM
Ugh, I'm so sorry.

Pax
12-10-2011, 06:33 AM
I'll spin wheels for you today. Warm healing thoughts headed your way.

pll
12-10-2011, 07:01 AM
Marni: I will be thinking of you and your FIL as I jog today. I hope he bounces back.

Catrin
12-10-2011, 08:48 AM
Marni, I thought of you and your FIL while on the trainer this morning. It is a bit too cold for me today since I've not yet worked out the cold feet problem. I hope things improve for him.

snapdragen
12-10-2011, 08:54 AM
Marni - have they checked his calcium levels? High levels can cause confusion and delusions. It happened to my Dad.

Spinning a wheel for FIL

emily_in_nc
12-10-2011, 10:10 AM
My normally very lucid grandmother became paranoid and delusional while in the hospital with a heart problem. She totally snapped out of it once she was home again.

However, given your FIL's age, you may have to prepare for the worst. No one lives forever, and for a man to make it to 90 is something to be thankful for. I hope for the best for him, but you never know at that age.

Fredwina
12-10-2011, 12:11 PM
Unfortunately, this kind of situation (or any kind of stress) can hasten dementia, so be prepared

hebe
12-10-2011, 12:26 PM
Thinking of you, Marni, and if I get out tomorrow I'll spin some shiny new wheels for you and your FiL. My elderly FiL had a very rough time in hospital, but did get back to normal when he came home again afterwards. I think hospital can be a huge change to get used to, especially for one as independent, fit and able as he is.

Look after yourself too, I hope you can get to the gym or out for a ride soon. Hugs from across the pond.

roadie gal
12-12-2011, 02:06 PM
Lots of good healing thoughts and spinning wheels for your FIL.

marni
12-12-2011, 08:54 PM
Thank you all for your good thoughts and spinning of wheels. Between taking Dad off of the pain meds that were making him gaga and non compos mentis, and getting the UTI infection pretty much cleared out, FIL is well enough to be transferred to a recovery/rehabilitation, skilled nursing center where he will continue to be stabilized on his current meds and gotten back to continence (please please please) and stable enough on his feet to move around and resume some normal activities and get to the toilet.

We have no idea how long he will be in the rehab place, but at least it is a better environment than the hospital, and they will be working consistently with him on mental and physical therapy.

marni

OakLeaf
12-13-2011, 04:39 AM
Thanks for the update - hope he continues to improve.

indysteel
12-13-2011, 05:56 AM
thanks for the update - hope he continues to improve.

+1.

marni
12-15-2011, 08:33 PM
Resident FIL is finally out of the hospital after 10 days and is currently at a skilled nursing/ rehab facility. He is more or less oriented which is a great relief after all of the dementia, lack of memory and connection he was exhibiting in the hospital. He is still not eating, (constipation and acid reflux) and his neuropathy pains are coming back which is worrisome as we are fairly certain that it was the combination of urinary tract infection and neuropathy pain meds.

In the meantime he is at least getting up out of bed, and is doing some physical therapy. Some days are better than others and on the bad days he has the personality of a 2 year old alternating with aggressive anger. Today I took him a home cooked casserole that is one of his favorites he took one bite, threw it at me and told me it tasted like crap. Strangely enough though he always manages to choke down the ice cream.

I am feeling very hostile and frustrated in spite of managing to spend at least an hour and a half in the gym with the trainer a couple of times a week and an hour or two on the indoor bike each day. Basically I am trying to work myself to exhaustion so I can creep into bed and sleep in the few hours that I am actually home.

DH goes directly from work and spends a couple of hours with him, tries to help with dinner etc and if feeling equally frustrated and exhausted.

All dad wants to do is "get the hell out of here and get back to my life." Unfortunately he seems unable to equate that goal with the fact that if they get him up in a chair and then ask him if he can walk three feet to the toilet and he refuses, he can't come back home any time soon. Ditto about eating, cooperating with the physical therapist etc.

Day by day- at least the kids understand about coming home to a very low key Christmas.

Crankin
12-16-2011, 04:02 AM
Marni, I really feel for you. Keep your sense of humor.

OakLeaf
12-16-2011, 04:20 AM
(((((((marni))))))))

I thought about you when I read this (http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/09/broken-briefly/?scp=1&sq=caregiver%20burnout&st=cse) the other day about caregiver burnout. It's mostly someone's personal story - feel free to ignore. However you choose to do it, do take care of yourself. And vent here, any time...

goride
12-16-2011, 06:10 PM
Marni - this sounds frightening and frustrating for all concerned. Will spin the wheels for you and your family.

marni
12-16-2011, 07:36 PM
(((((((marni))))))))

I thought about you when I read this (http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/09/broken-briefly/?scp=1&sq=caregiver%20burnout&st=cse) the other day about caregiver burnout. It's mostly someone's personal story - feel free to ignore. However you choose to do it, do take care of yourself. And vent here, any time...

excellent article- much to think about. Thanks oakleaf.