12 Things Happy People Do Differently

[indysteel]

Someone on another of my cycling forums posted this (http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/08/30/12-things-happy-people-do-differently/).

I see some of myself on that list, both good and bad. When I was at my most consciously "happy" a few years ago, I think I was hitting almost all of the points on the list thanks to the convergency of various things in my life: years of therapy, a wonderful set of friends, almost daily physical activity, yoga, a new found spirituality, a strong sense of gratitude, and volunteerism. My mindset changed dramatically in 2006-2007. I felt empowered in ways that I hadn't before. I realized rather dramatically that one I tell myself about my life is often far more important than what is actually going on in my life.

I've struggled with a few of the things on the list more recently. As I've discussed in various thread, I've found it harder to maintain my friendships since moving to a new town and I've struggled to make new friends. Moving was also a serious disruption to my workout routine and physical goals. If I'm being honest with myself, marriage--while wonderful--has encouraged a certain passivity in me. By that I mean that when I was single, I intentionally worked very hard at making my life fulfilling and full. I've gotten a bit lazy since getting married. Certainly, my relationship with my husband is very fulfilling in and of itself and worthy of my focus, but at least for me, I cannot not thrive on it alone. I need other outlets and other close relationships. I think as I enter year two of my marriage, I'm finally starting to make the time and space necessary for that, but it's not always easy.

[Crankin]

The things I see in my practice that stand in the way of happiness and emotional well-being are: 1) being pessimistic 2) over thinking, which leads to serious cognitive distortions 3) being unforgiving/hateful/judgmental, and 4)not having or using any coping/calming strategies.
Good mental health is just as hard work as achieving good physical health or fitness.

[zoom-zoom]

I was nodding my head at everything until the last one, #12. I think it's very dangerous to suggest that people who are clinically depressed can just exercise and *poof* they're cured! The people I've known who are clinically depressed could barely function, much less find it in themselves to exercise. I think exercise is AWESOME to pull most of us out of minor, temporary funks and to keep them at bay...but for people who are suffering with serious chemical imbalances in their brains it's pretty insulting to go all Pollyanna on them and suggest that all they need to do is run a few miles or take a bike ride to be cured and feel right with the world and themselves. I get pretty irritated with those who perpetuate myths and misunderstanding about mental disfunction like that. I've had close friends and family really destroyed by clinical depression. I've seen friends deal with suicide of a child or other loved-one when that individual battled severe depression. :(

[limewave]

I was nodding my head at everything until the last one, #12. I think it's very dangerous to suggest that people who are clinically depressed can just exercise and *poof* they're cured! The people I've known who are clinically depressed could barely function, much less find it in themselves to exercise. I think exercise is AWESOME to pull most of us out of minor, temporary funks and to keep them at bay...but for people who are suffering with serious chemical imbalances in their brains it's pretty insulting to go all Pollyanna on them and suggest that all they need to do is run a few miles or take a bike ride to be cured and feel right with the world and themselves. I get pretty irritated with those who perpetuate myths and misunderstanding about mental disfunction like that. I've had close friends and family really destroyed by clinical depression. I've seen friends deal with suicide of a child or other loved-one when that individual battled severe depression. :(

As someone who has suffered from depression . . . ^ yes. In fact, when I down-spiraled into very serious depression, I was working out every day. And eating what most would consider a healthy diet. And so many people would suggest I "snap" out of it or "Decide" to be happy or even "get over myself." It was incredibly isolating and made me feel like more of a failure b/c I couldn't snap out of it. Anywho . . . . .

For those that aren't clinical, I think it is a great list! I would put "practice acts of kindness" at or near the top. Helping others is incredibly therapeutic and rewarding. When someone tells me they've been feeling down or blue, the first thing I suggest is that they look into mentoring or participating in a Big Brother/Big Sister program. When you start putting others first, you stop focusing so much on yourself--and that is a good thing.

[OakLeaf]

You're absolutely right, but personally I think the statistics highlight the well-known fact that antidepressant pills are effective for a minority of people who take them, and convey only modest benefits to most of those who benefit at all. It wouldn't take much for exercise to be more beneficial.

I have a lot of days when I can't drag myself out. I have days when I want to cry every single step of a run, and days that I do cry. I have days when I just can't push myself to a real workout, and all I can muster are junk miles. But I usually feel better if I can make myself do it. Same with journaling, or going to therapy, or whatever you want to name.

Yes, it IS often difficult for someone with depression to do ANYTHING. That doesn't mean that doing whatever they're able to, won't help. Nothing can "cure" depression, and some people have a really vicious attitude toward people with depression (and obesity, and diabetes, and, and, and...) - but some things can help.

[zoom-zoom]

You're absolutely right, but personally I think the statistics highlight the well-known fact that antidepressant pills are effective for a minority of people who take them, and convey only modest benefits to most of those who benefit at all. It wouldn't take much for exercise to be more beneficial.

I have a lot of days when I can't drag myself out. I have days when I want to cry every single step of a run, and days that I do cry. I have days when I just can't push myself to a real workout, and all I can muster are junk miles. But I usually feel better if I can make myself do it. Same with journaling, or going to therapy, or whatever you want to name.

Yes, it IS often difficult for someone with depression to do ANYTHING. That doesn't mean that doing whatever they're able to, won't help. Nothing can "cure" depression, and some people have a really vicious attitude toward people with depression (and obesity, and diabetes, and, and, and...) - but some things can help.

Very true. And this is true for other mental/emotional disorders. My son suffers from ADHD. He is on meds for it. There are people who have said "oh, remove dyes from his food and processed foods and his ADHD will go away." Bullcrap. We'd love to let him move in with these "helpful" people for a week. I guarantee they'd be changing their tune. We don't eat garbage, as is. The kid's idea of a perfect snack is a giant bag of baby carrots and string cheese. And he doesn't lack for exercise...hello, he's getting a jr. cyclocross bike for Christmas. ADD/ADHD are just highly genetic in my family. And I have a nephew with Autism. Their brain scans are different than the brain scans of people without these issues. And there is some evidence that these conditions are actually caused by some abnormal genes.

DS's "therapy" is in the form of meds and a healthy diet, but also exercise. He'd be getting the exercise and healthy diet even if he weren't ADHD. His meds aren't a cure, they are a tool and treatment...just as meds are for a diabetic or asthmatic. They temporarily restore appropriate function for a specific organ.

[indysteel]

I was nodding my head at everything until the last one, #12. I think it's very dangerous to suggest that people who are clinically depressed can just exercise and *poof* they're cured! The people I've known who are clinically depressed could barely function, much less find it in themselves to exercise. I think exercise is AWESOME to pull most of us out of minor, temporary funks and to keep them at bay...but for people who are suffering with serious chemical imbalances in their brains it's pretty insulting to go all Pollyanna on them and suggest that all they need to do is run a few miles or take a bike ride to be cured and feel right with the world and themselves. I get pretty irritated with those who perpetuate myths and misunderstanding about mental disfunction like that. I've had close friends and family really destroyed by clinical depression. I've seen friends deal with suicide of a child or other loved-one when that individual battled severe depression. :(

I agree. Exercise has helped me, but only after I laid some serious groundwork in therapy. But, at worst, I had mild to moderate depression.

I do wish docs would do a better job of urging their clients on drug therapies to also get conventional talk therapy, too. It's not that I have anything against the anti-depressants per se, but the success rate of talk therapy can be just as high and with far fewer side effects.

[zoom-zoom]

Yup...I think every human disorder is treated better with multiple therapies, rather than just one. I have asthma. I am on 2x/daily inhaled steroids, but I also am careful to keep my allergies under control and exercise, as these all work together to keep my lungs strong and minimize my asthmatic flare-ups (my mom doesn't exercise at all and her asthma issues are relatively worse, even on higher doses of the same med that I'm on). People with certain types of arthritis usually do far better at controlling their symptoms with medication and appropriate exercise than with medication or exercise alone.

[GLC1968]

I'm super lucky in that I don't have depression myself or any history of it in my family. I consider myself a happy person and I do agree with that list for the most part. I find that I do most of it pretty regularly as part of who I am, actually.

I do have problems with comparing myself to others (mostly because I'm highly competitive), so that is something I've struggled with quite a bit over the years.

The funny thing is, I would say that I compare myself to others a lot less now precisely because I AM happy. I have a life that I have chosen for all it's craziness and even if it's not as prestigious, or travel-filled, or designer-label-covered, as some of my friends from college and high school, it's MY life and I'm glad that I have it. It's kind of self-fulfilling. Compare less so you can be happy or be happy and therefore compare less?

I think the same thing is true for exercise. Exercise more to feel better or feel better and therefore exercise more?

[zoom-zoom]

The funny thing is, I would say that I compare myself to others a lot less now precisely because I AM happy. I have a life that I have chosen for all it's craziness and even if it's not as prestigious, or travel-filled, or designer-label-covered, as some of my friends from college and high school, it's MY life and I'm glad that I have it. It's kind of self-fulfilling. Compare less so you can be happy or be happy and therefore compare less?

I think the same thing is true for exercise. Exercise more to feel better or feel better and therefore exercise more?

This. :)

[indysteel]

The funny thing is, I would say that I compare myself to others a lot less now precisely because I AM happy. I have a life that I have chosen for all it's craziness and even if it's not as prestigious, or travel-filled, or designer-label-covered, as some of my friends from college and high school, it's MY life and I'm glad that I have it.

I'm glad you have your life, too. It sure makes for a far more interesting blog than one about shoppin' in the 'burb!

[Crankin]

I hope no one thought I was implying that the list was a "cure" for depression. Frankly, everyone is different, so while one thing may help one person, it won't do anything for another. The 12 things are guides for good living, no matter what. Some of my clients absolutely love the holistic coping strategies I use, like controlled breathing and meditation, and others only want to talk and try medication. It is a very personal thing.
As far as the exercise goes, for people with mild levels of depression, it can work as well medication; this is well documented. However, when you get to a moderate depressive episode, other things need to be addressed first, and exercise can be used as an adjunctive treatment.
I chuckled at your comments, Zoom-Zoom. A big part of my current job entails convincing parents that ADHD is real. While it seems like common sense to us, to others, not so much.
When I was struggling with anxiety, I found that mild exercise helped me a lot. I did a lot of walking and yoga for about 3 months. My anxiety was worse when I was cycling, because I was upset that I couldn't ride at the level I was used to, because of illness. If I hadn't been able to go out and walk, I would have been a lot worse. It was very hard for me to let go of the need to continually get faster during that time; thankfully, it was fall, so I just let it go, and let my mind and body rest.

[indysteel]

I didn't interpret your post in that way, Crankin. I read Zoom's criticism as being directed at number 12 of the blog post and its suggestion that exercise cures depression.

[zoom-zoom]

Yeah, I certainly didn't think you were insinuating that the list was a cure, either. I think at least 90% of that list is spot on, too.

[OakLeaf]

Yeah, no, I didn't read your post that way either, Crankin. Although I would tend to classify "pessimism" as a symptom (aka hopelessness, in DSM terms), not a cause.

[goldfinch]

There are worthwhile tips in the article but did she really have to say:

No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Sometimes I get so sick of girlie talk.

[Irulan]

I agree. Exercise has helped me, but only after I laid some serious groundwork in therapy. But, at worst, I had mild to moderate depression.

I do wish docs would do a better job of urging their clients on drug therapies to also get conventional talk therapy, too. It's not that I have anything against the anti-depressants per se, but the success rate of talk therapy can be just as high and with far fewer side effects.

The flip side of this is that some folks just have biochemical imbalances... and when you have gone as far as you can in terms of healing through therapy, used self management strategies such as mindfulness and exercise, that there are things that only medication will fix. This is my situation and it took me a long time to accept it.

[ny biker]

Apparently atheists cannot be happy.

Personally, I put effort into social relationships but it doesn't get me much. Most of my old friends are too busy and attempts to meet new friends get me nowhere.

But then today is one of those days when a visit to the dentist is the quietest most relaxing part of the day, so perhaps I am not in the best frame of mind for a list like this.

[indysteel]

The flip side of this is that some folks just have biochemical imbalances... and when you have gone as far as you can in terms of healing through therapy, used self management strategies such as mindfulness and exercise, that there are things that only medication will fix. This is my situation and it took me a long time to accept it.

I don't have any issue with this and I am sorry if I implied that I did. What I have issues with are docs--often GPs--prescribing antidepressants and antianxiety drugs for patients without taking also taking a broader view of other or additional treatments or approaches. Obviously some people need drugs. I am not disputing that.

[Melalvai]

I was nodding my head at everything until the last one, #12. I think it's very dangerous to suggest that people who are clinically depressed can just exercise and *poof* they're cured!
I didn't get the impression that was what #12 was suggesting. According to the research mentioned in #12, exercise was twice as effective as zoloft. Zoloft doesn't work for everyone (only for a minority of people, right?) That still leaves plenty of room for people who can't be helped by either.

I found #6 helpful: Develop strategies for coping. Typically my reaction is to do everything in my power to prevent whatever trauma has just occurred from ever ever EVER happening again. But I can't really control that (or it probably wouldn't have happened in the first place). So it makes more sense to plan coping strategies ahead of time. Like when my daughter was little and we used to practice what to do in a fire or emergency, mainly because it was kind of fun to climb out the window.

[indysteel]

There are worthwhile tips in the article but did she really have to say:

No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Sometimes I get so sick of girlie talk.

Agreed. That's pretty stupid.

[zoom-zoom]

There are worthwhile tips in the article but did she really have to say:

No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Sometimes I get so sick of girlie talk.

Ha, I particularly hate the term "diva." Diva is what we used to call spoiled, obnoxious, self-centered b*tches or drag queens. I don't particularly ever want to have that moniker attached to me simply because I am a strong and active female.

[Crankin]

Yeah, I don't like that girlie talk, either.
But then, of course, I've been told that I "think like a man."
OK.

[goldfinch]

Apparently atheists cannot be happy.

Personally, I put effort into social relationships but it doesn't get me much. Most of my old friends are too busy and attempts to meet new friends get me nowhere.

But then today is one of those days when a visit to the dentist is the quietest most relaxing part of the day, so perhaps I am not in the best frame of mind for a list like this.

I'm not in the best frame of mind either. I've been sick for a week and am a bit cranky.

Her "spirituality" comments imply that if you are not spiritual or religious you think too much of yourself. And tying in the "calling" comment with religion also is exclusionary. It is great and wonderful if you find work you love, is meaningful, and fits your values. But religion or spirituality doesn't have to play a part.

Ok! Done venting on her. :)

[shootingstar]

Words of advice, as just that: advice.

Talk is easy ....for the poster of that blog article link that started this thread.

Sure, I cultivate optimism, at times, I think because I numb myself for some very drastic/sad things that have happened in past 12 months.

For myself, a better route is not to pretend or think I will be continuously optimistic, just to be at peace and more contemplative. This is good enough for me, because I can move to the "happier" state or just allow myself to feel sad.

[zoom-zoom]

I didn't take the spirituality bit to necessarily equal religion, per se. I pretty much fall into the secular humanist pigeon-hole and my hubby is an atheist. My definition of spirituality is more the strength I draw from myself, those around me, and the power of nature and Science. Not a deity.

[GLC1968]

I didn't take the spirituality bit to necessarily equal religion, per se. I pretty much fall into the secular humanist pigeon-hole and my hubby is an atheist. My definition of spirituality is more the strength I draw from myself, those around me, and the power of nature and Science. Not a deity.

This, exactly.

Though I probably would qualify as an atheist, I just choose not to label my beliefs. ;)

[indysteel]

This, exactly.

Though I probably would qualify as an atheist, I just choose not to label my beliefs. ;)

Me, too.

I'm sorry some of you took issue to all or part of the blog post. I didn't post it because I think there's only one set of habits/characteristics that make somebody happy. I just thought it offered some food for thought. As someone who has spent a number of years in therapy and relearned certain thought patterns and behaviors that have helped me be more consistently happy, I read some things in the post that resonated with me so I thought I'd share. In a nutshell, what I've learned is that happiness typically does not spring from passivity. Rather, it springs largely from conscious choices we make and habits we follow. Choices about what we tell ourselves about ourselves, about how we connect with others and the world around us, about whether we engage in things that are meaningful to us, and about how well we take care of our bodies and spirits (even if you don't believe in a god). This is just from my own experience, limited it may be. Of course, YMMV.

[Catrin]

My favorite part of the list was the bit on Flow...while the first thing that actually made me think of was my experience on my favorite mountain bike trail (beginner that I am), there are many other ways to experience flow. Not allowing ourselves to get choked with living in the past, or obsessing over those things we cannot change or imaginary fears that never happen. I hadn't thought of that before and it really resounded with me. Thanks for posting the link!

[goldfinch]

Me, too.

I'm sorry some of you took issue to all or part of the blog post. I didn't post it because I think there's only one set of habits/characteristics that make somebody happy. I just thought it offered some food for thought. As someone who has spent a number of years in therapy and relearned certain thought patterns and behaviors that have helped me be more consistently happy, I read some things in the post that resonated with me so I thought I'd share. In a nutshell, what I've learned is that happiness typically does not spring from passivity. Rather, it springs largely from conscious choices we make and habits we follow. Choices about what we tell ourselves about ourselves, about how we connect with others and the world around us, about whether we engage in things that are meaningful to us, and about how well we take care of our bodies and spirits (even if you don't believe in a god). This is just from my own experience, limited it may be. Of course, YMMV.

I didn't mean to be so much of a poopy pants. :) Like Catrin, I also liked the stuff on flow. I loved being so fully immersed in something that nothing else exists. Very, very satisfying.

[zoom-zoom]

My favorite part of the list was the bit on Flow...while the first thing that actually made me think of was my experience on my favorite mountain bike trail (beginner that I am), there are many other ways to experience flow.

Ha, the part about flow made me think about mtn. biking, too. I haven't really experienced this phenomenon, but my DH returned from a mtn. bike ride a couple of weeks ago just gushing about it being the best, most "flow-y" ride he's ever done. I hope I can stop crashing at some point and feel that first-hand! :p

[indysteel]

I didn't mean to be so much of a poopy pants. :) Like Catrin, I also liked the stuff on flow. I loved being so fully immersed in something that nothing else exists. Very, very satisfying.

Trust me; I know all about being a poopy pants. That's why I have to work at being happy. It doesn't come easy for me.

As for the flow, I get that concept, too. It's why I find yoga to be so therapeutic. I just don't find myself thinking about anything but the poses in class and that, in and of itself, is quite helpful. Of course, I take "flow" classes, so there's no coincidence there.

[OakLeaf]

I don't mountain bike - my experiences with "flow" are pretty much limited to the moto. I expect you could get the same thing on long descents on a road bike, but we don't have any of those here. Nothing like having your life depend on instantaneous physical response to sensory input, to get your mind and body good and integrated. :D

[GLC1968]

See - and when I read that part about 'flow', I didn't even immediately think about athletics at all! I thought about the day at work where I executed a tough schedule with finesse or back when I was in school and I was able to block out most of the world while I worked my way though a tough engineering problem of some sort. Funny!

(maybe this means I should focus more when it comes to exercise, huh?:p)

[indysteel]

See - and when I read that part about 'flow', I didn't even immediately think about athletics at all! I thought about the day at work where I executed a tough schedule with finesse or back when I was in school and I was able to block out most of the world while I worked my way though a tough engineering problem of some sort. Funny!

(maybe this means I should focus more when it comes to exercise, huh?:p)

I don't know that flow is limited to exercise. To me, it's anything that completely engages your attention such that you are completely in the moment.

ETA: There is some exercise I do that does not totally engage my mind. Running and road cycling are two. There is enough room in my attention span for it to wander.

[GLC1968]

I don't know that flow is limited to exercise. To me, it's anything that completely engages your attention such that you are completely in the moment.

You know, most of my life is like this. If I don't completely engage in the moment for whatever I'm doing, the rest of the things on my 'list' derail me and my productivity suffers greatly. In some ways, I look at it as being incapable of truly multi-tasking, but in reality, it could be viewed as ever changing 'flow'. When I'm focused on the farm, it's all I'm concerned with and I'm happy. When I'm networking on a college campus for work, it's all I'm concerned with and I'm happy. When I'm racing a triathlon, it's all I'm concerned with and I'm happy.

It's when I let my brain open up or 'wander' and all of the OTHER priorities come rushing in that I start to panic or get stressed. It happens a lot in the last few miles of a long training run where I start to think about what I have to do next and everything breaks down from my focus to my form to my enthusiasm for what I'm doing at that moment...

Interesting.

[Crankin]

Flow is a well documented phenomena in neuroscience/cognitive processing literature. I had to read a whole book on it when I was taking a course on brain based learning a few years ago, so we could provide appropriate learning strategies and activities that would engage kids. I remember immediately making the connection to how I felt when I was riding. I was a new rider when I was reading this stuff, and I think now, it's a lot harder for me to get that feeling. Cycling feels like hard work a lot of the time! However, I feel the flow when I finish.

[shootingstar]

The best experiences of flow for myself has been in: cycling and for certain times when I'm "creating" something: writing certain pieces (yes, it includes certain blog posts), painting, calligraphy and sewing.

That's my strongest association of flow.. the rest of the world and time melts away for several hrs. and one's being is completely thrown/lifted into the immediate experience. Whenever that happens, it's a gift.

[limewave]

Last night I picked up the kids and my dd was in a mood. She seemed depressed, cranky about everything, all she wanted to do was watch TV. Ugh! She was so miserable to be around I almost sent her to her room.

And then I thought about the "12 Things Happy People Do." I thoughtfully suggested we go for a run after dinner. Wouldn't you know, that completely changed the dynamic. A very moody child became chipper, helpful, respectful, and excited. We even ended up having a light snowfall and got to tour the Christmas lights around the neighborhood.

[indysteel]

Last night I picked up the kids and my dd was in a mood. She seemed depressed, cranky about everything, all she wanted to do was watch TV. Ugh! She was so miserable to be around I almost sent her to her room.

And then I thought about the "12 Things Happy People Do." I thoughtfully suggested we go for a run after dinner. Wouldn't you know, that completely changed the dynamic. A very moody child became chipper, helpful, respectful, and excited. We even ended up having a light snowfall and got to tour the Christmas lights around the neighborhood.

That's great, LW. Do you think your daughter recognized that there was a correlation between her improved mood and the run?

[goldfinch]

Last night I picked up the kids and my dd was in a mood. She seemed depressed, cranky about everything, all she wanted to do was watch TV. Ugh! She was so miserable to be around I almost sent her to her room.

And then I thought about the "12 Things Happy People Do." I thoughtfully suggested we go for a run after dinner. Wouldn't you know, that completely changed the dynamic. A very moody child became chipper, helpful, respectful, and excited. We even ended up having a light snowfall and got to tour the Christmas lights around the neighborhood.

This is great! I tended towards moody as a child. (And as an adult too, for that matter). It is good to give kids tools to help them manage their moods.

For me, I am most likely to get in the zone or with the flow if I am making music. The physicality of playing, the emotion of the music, and importantly, playing it well due to preparation and practice before hand does it for me.

[Melalvai]

I'm sorry some of you took issue to all or part of the blog post. I didn't post it because I think there's only one set of habits/characteristics that make somebody happy. I just thought it offered some food for thought.
I think it's been a great thread. It really sparked a lot of discussion. If it had been something everyone had agreed with 100%, there wouldn't have been much to discuss. Thank you for sharing it.

On a related note, here's an article called "The Top 5 Regrets in Life by Those Who Are About to Die (http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-top-5-regrets-in-life-by-those-about-to-die/)". I thought it was a really interesting article. It wasn't so much of a wake-up call for me as it was comforting and reassuring to know that I'm living my life in a way so that when I'm dying, if I have regrets, they won't be the most common 5. I'm not so naive as to think I'll have no regrets just because I won't have these 5! I'm sure I'll find something else to regret. :)

[indysteel]

I think it's been a great thread. It really sparked a lot of discussion. If it had been something everyone had agreed with 100%, there wouldn't have been much to discuss. Thank you for sharing it.

On a related note, here's an article called "The Top 5 Regrets in Life by Those Who Are About to Die (http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-top-5-regrets-in-life-by-those-about-to-die/)". I thought it was a really interesting article. It wasn't so much of a wake-up call for me as it was comforting and reassuring to know that I'm living my life in a way so that when I'm dying, if I have regrets, they won't be the most common 5. I'm not so naive as to think I'll have no regrets just because I won't have these 5! I'm sure I'll find something else to regret. :)

It has been a good discussion. I was just a bit bummed when I checked in on the thread yesterday to read mostly negative comments. For all of the flaws to the list, I think it makes some good points, too. I'll have to read the article you linked.

[zoom-zoom]

On a related note, here's an article called "The Top 5 Regrets in Life by Those Who Are About to Die (http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-top-5-regrets-in-life-by-those-about-to-die/)".

That was a good read, too. I think I'm actually doing pretty well on that list. :)

[indysteel]

Just read the list myself. I feel like I'm getting a solid B according to the list. For the most part, I'd say I'm hitting the high notes, but there is room for improvement. At some point in my life, I'd like to move something new, but it'll make me confront the risk-adverse side of me that has, thus far, dominated most of my life choices. I don't want to carry that regret with me to my deathbed though.

[GLC1968]

On a related note, here's an article called "The Top 5 Regrets in Life by Those Who Are About to Die (http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-top-5-regrets-in-life-by-those-about-to-die/)". I thought it was a really interesting article. It wasn't so much of a wake-up call for me as it was comforting and reassuring to know that I'm living my life in a way so that when I'm dying, if I have regrets, they won't be the most common 5. I'm not so naive as to think I'll have no regrets just because I won't have these 5! I'm sure I'll find something else to regret. :)

Interesting article, thanks for sharing it. It actually brought tears to my eyes to think about those people and the things they've regretted about their lives.

#4 is the only one on there on which I think I still need work. In fact, it plays a role in my resolutions for 2012 (I don't generally make 'resolutions' but since I need to focus to make this change and it happens to be the new year, it just sort of became that...). My husband and I are resolving to do more entertaining, and personally, I want to strengthen my relationships outside of my marriage. This will absolutely include reconnecting with old friends and now I have more reason to continue down this path. :)

[Susan]

I'm glad you have your life, too. It sure makes for a far more interesting blog than one about shoppin' in the 'burb!

Now, I would like to have a link to GLC's blog :)

[Catrin]

Finally went and looked at the list. In other stages of my life I would have said something different, but, for now, I think I am doing pretty well regarding those 5 specific things. I have finally accepted myself as the eccentric odd-ball that I am, and that I don't need to have "x,y or z" to be happy :)

I am one of those who NEEDS at least a touch of real adventure/danger in her life - mountain biking fills that role for me. Certainly road riding does as well, but I feel more alive on my mountain bike even as such a beginner. This inner need for risk-taking has certainly caused problems over the years, but thankfully I've found healthier ways of filling that need than I once did.

I am not saying that I don't have regrets, nor that when the time comes that I won't have others or perhaps some of the things on that list will be back on it.

[GLC1968]

Now, I would like to have a link to GLC's blog :)

I'll put it back in my signature. I haven't updated the blog since the summer, but I hope to eventually have time to do more. There is still quite a bit of history to read on there though!

[GLC1968]

Now, I would like to have a link to GLC's blog :)

Hmmm, it doesn't seem to be working! OK, here is just a link for now:
http://simplemetamorphosis.blogspot.com/

[indysteel]

I'll put it back in my signature. I haven't updated the blog since the summer, but I hope to eventually have time to do more. There is still quite a bit of history to read on there though!

Plus, there are cute baby goats!!!!

[Selkie]

GLC's blog is one of my favorites (although I haven't read it in awhile since I no longer have internet access at work. LOL). Her post about delivering Oreo and his brother was memorable. Impressive, too. GLC is one of my TE heroines.

I don't see the point of having regrets, but I try to learn from experiences. You can't go back and change things, so why bother torturing yourself with what might have been? It's better to focus on being a more tolerant, understanding, and kinder person, and not repeating unfortunate or ill-chosen actions/decisions.

[GLC1968]

GLC's blog is one of my favorites (although I haven't read it in awhile since I no longer have internet access at work. LOL). Her post about delivering Oreo and his brother was memorable. Impressive, too. GLC is one of my TE heroines.


You just made me tear up. I think I'm hormonal...but thanks! That's really sweet! (and it makes me want to blog again!)

[Bike Writer]

You know, most of my life is like this. If I don't completely engage in the moment for whatever I'm doing, the rest of the things on my 'list' derail me and my productivity suffers greatly. In some ways, I look at it as being incapable of truly multi-tasking, but in reality, it could be viewed as ever changing 'flow'. When I'm focused on the farm, it's all I'm concerned with and I'm happy. When I'm networking on a college campus for work, it's all I'm concerned with and I'm happy. When I'm racing a triathlon, it's all I'm concerned with and I'm happy.

It's when I let my brain open up or 'wander' and all of the OTHER priorities come rushing in that I start to panic or get stressed. It happens a lot in the last few miles of a long training run where I start to think about what I have to do next and everything breaks down from my focus to my form to my enthusiasm for what I'm doing at that moment...

Interesting.

This is me too. I get immersed in the moment to the point where WWIII could be going on right around me and I might not notice it. I believe I am a mostly happy person and identified with all 12 points on the list and really enjoyed it. In fact I shared that list with several people over the next few days. I made several copies of it and gave them away. People smiled when they read the title and I'm sure it made many of those people pause for a few minutes to contemplate and hopefully it helped some people.

In all, I probably passed out 20 copies and I'm glad I did.

Like GLC I am happiest when fully engaged in the moment or task at hand and get discombobulated when too much is vying for my attention.

Thanks for the blog link, I'll have to get over to it.