Simplefying the Holidays

[grey]

I always wonder how we survive December - where in one month we decorate our houses inside and out, bake ourselves silly making cookies and candies, buy everyone we know a present we hope they will love, send everyone we know or knew 10 years ago a handwritten letter, attend lots of parties where we have to look fabulous and festive (and bring more food and white elephant gifts).

Any ONE of these things in a normal month would be considered a lot of work!

Despite my perfectionistic tendencies - despite the fact that I love to decorate and would love to go crazy making my house magazine-spread-worthy, and love setting a stunning table and hosting fabulous meals... there's this thing called reality. This reality says I am working hard at a fledgling business in a difficult economy. I need sleep more than I need a gorgeous, drool-worthy tree.

Further, I struggle with the materialistic tendencies of this time of year. Black Friday is my concept of a nightmare: crowds and people fighting over "deals" that are not really bargains at all. And at the end of every holiday, we are all stuck with gifts we didn't want, do not need, and feeling terrible that people we love wasted money on us! Perhaps the last isn't true of everyone - I have strong minimalistic leanings and feel my home is overcrowded enough as it is, and I'd be perfectly happy if people didn't buy me anything.

So here is what I have been doing to try to tame the insanity - and I'd love to know what you creative gals are doing also.

-Make gifts, make them early (like in the summer). I also try to make things that are consumable, like organic blueberry jam (we have a friend with a farm) and drying herbs for cooking and teas. I've made afghans and aprons, this year I have made soap and crocheted cotton washcloths. Every year people ask how I had time to do these things - I don't think it takes any more time than shopping does (except the afghans) and it's certainly more pleasant than fighting traffic.

-I may not bother with a tree this year (shocking - but we don't have kids and will not be home anyway) so I'll put up wreaths made at a friend's plant nursery and put the electric candles in our windows. Less clutter, still smells good in the house.

-Type up a fun newsletter about the year and send that in place of handwritten cards. I used to address them all in calligraphy - HA!!!

-Stick to simpler baked goods or (considering I'm usually the group "health nut thanks to being mostly vegan anyway) bring in the veggie dishes rather than cookies or cakes.

-For gift exchanges, I usually have made a scarf or two during the year.

-In answer to "what do you want for Christmas" or to hopefully avoid a bunch of things we don't want or need - we are asking for wine this year. I put together a list for the non-savvy - and who cares if we get two or even five of the same bottle???

[indysteel]

I've never been one to go nuts during the holidays, but things are a bit simpler this year in that we're not--my mutual agreement--exchanging gifts within my family. Many of the gifts that we are buying were purchased earlier in the year during out travels and almost all of them come from small businesses, so while I generally have a problem with the rampant consumerism of the holidays, I do feel good about what I'm giving this year for the most part. I am otherwise not a baker, so that's not an issue, but I am going to cut down on Christmas cards this year. We have already put up our tree, but that's one of the few things about the holiday that I really enjoy, so I don't mind it.

But I totally hear you on not wanting to get a bunch of stuff from people that I don't need and that just clutters up my house. My MIL irritated me over the weekend by complaining for the umpteenth time that I'm hard to buy for because I "don't collect anything." She always says it as we're standing in a shop looking at teapots or figurines of cats or something. I told her the same thing I always tell her: "I generally want less, not more, stuff, but you can always buy me one of the few things I do collect--books." But that answer doesn't satisfy her in that she's afraid she'll buy me the wrong book. "Well, you could just ask me for some suggestions," I offer. But that doesn't satisfy her either because "then it wouldn't be a surprise."

Ugh. I can't win. I'm hoping that we eventually get them to agree to forego Christmas gifts, too.

The other thing that REALLY stresses me out during the holidays is the number of non-family/non-friend get togethers to which I'm invited. There are multiple work and NFP board functions that I'm expected to attend. I had a meltdown about it a few years ago, and now just politely decline most of them. In theory, I'd like to socialize with some of these people outside of normal business, but cramming all that into a single month is just too much.

[Veronica]

Indy you could do a wish list of the books you want on Amazon. Your MIL wouldn't have to buy them there, but then she would know what you want.

Grey I WISH you'd decorate your house and then put up pictures because I bet it would look fabulous. :p

We do a calendar of our photos as a gift for family and a few friends. I do enjoy baking and since I've pretty much stopped eating baked goods most of the year, it gives me a chance to indulge. I usually make a variety of cookies and bars to give to a few friends at work.

There is always a bunch of stuff I want for my classroom and I can usually get my oldest sister, who refuses to stop giving me stuff, to buy something for my class.

Veronica

[indysteel]

Indy you could do a wish list of the books you want on Amazon. Your MIL wouldn't have to buy them there, but then she would know what you want.

Grey I WISH you'd decorate your house and then put up pictures because I bet it would look fabulous. :p

We do a calendar of our photos as a gift for family and a few friends. I do enjoy baking and since I've pretty much stopped eating baked goods most of the year, it gives me a chance to indulge. I usually make a variety of cookies and bars to give to a few friends at work.

There is always a bunch of stuff I want for my classroom and I can usually get my oldest sister, who refuses to stop giving me stuff, to buy something for my class.

Veronica

That's a good idea, V. I'll have to suggest that. Hopefully, it will pacify her, but I think there's more to this issue than just a wish list. I get the feeling that she was hoping for a DIL that gravitates toward "girly" or "homey" things. Other than the fact that I like to cook, that's just not me. I can see that it disappoints her at times.

[grey]

That's a good idea, V. I'll have to suggest that. Hopefully, it will pacify her, but I think there's more to this issue than just a wish list. I get the feeling that she was hoping for a DIL that gravitates toward "girly" or "homey" things. Other than the fact that I like to cook, that's just not me. I can see that it disappoints her at times.

Ask for a gift certificate (or give her a wish list) to SurlaTable? Every cook's dream stuff is in that place. You'd have to be specific though, I think. I told my MIL "Sur la Table" for my birthday, and she bought cutesy salt & pepper shakers I really won't use. I didn't realize they made silly things there.

[indysteel]

Another good suggestion, but she actually never asks me for what I want. Even when we discuss how hard I am to buy for (in her mind), she never actually says "what would you like for Christmas"? To her, the surprise is more important than fulfilling any want or need that I might have.

But I don't want this thread to devolve into a discussion of my MIL. Rather, I brought her up just as an example of how fixated some people are in giving, receiving or buying more stuff.

[Melalvai]

I simplify by skyping instead of visiting, and giving cash or donations to charities instead of gifts.

For Thanksgiving my mom wanted us to come over (4 hr drive) even though we are coming for Christmas. I told her no, but we would skype in. I got my sister & her boyfriend to skype in too, from Ohio (12 hr drive). And my brother and his girlfriend were at mom & dad's (5 min drive). During the "get-together" I took a screenshot of all 9 of us and titled it "Norman 'Skype' Rockwell".

It was a lot less crowded. :)

For gifts, I've taken up asking for donations to my favorite charities, and giving donations to charities for the adults. Except some adults get gift certificates if for example they are starving students! For the nieces & nephews, it's either cash or a present, depending on how inspired I am. This year, they are getting cash, the money in a card addressed to the kid...sort of!
Actual names: Samantha, Joseph, Draven, Morgan, and Tia
Names on the cards: Samuel, Josephina, Dravenia, Morganator, Uncle Tio

My husband, daughter, and I exchange more meaningful gifts than cash. Although this year I did ask for a donation to a special charity (the new trail, I'm on the steering committee).

For me it's not so much about simplifying the holidays, as it is about emphasizing what is important and not wasting our time and resources on what is less important. We love decorating, and our decorations are fairly simple. A tree, a nativity set, and advent calendar, stockings, a few knick-knacks. I don't put lights up on the house, they're pretty but it's a lot of work and wastes energy (my parents have solar powered lights this year!) I'll make cookies for friends and co-workers.

[indysteel]

For me it's not so much about simplifying the holidays, as it is about emphasizing what is important and not wasting our time and resources on what is less important.

That's a lovely way of putting it. I might have to quote you on that.

[limewave]

Avoiding the inlaws.
Amazing how much that simplifies everything!

But really, we try and keep things simple. Traditionally we do 3 gifts for each of the kids + stocking stuffers. The stockings we tend to fill with things like: toothbrushes, hair ties, socks, a little candy, chapsticks, etc. The gifting is very unbalanced. Our parents spend more money and get more gifts for our kids than we do. We've asked them to tone it down (for many different reasons). One of them is that we feel it makes Christmas less special. Anyways . . .

This year I opted to bake Pumpkin Cheesecake bread and passed them out this weekend to our neighbors and friends instead of trying to squeeze cookie baking and delivering in before Christmas.

DH and I usually only have Christmas and New Year's Day off . . . there's not a lot of free time to begin with. We don't make a lot of plans and we have no problem saying no.

[bmccasland]

I kind of miss the cookie baking frenzy that I used to do. But the main reasons I'd bake have gone on, so I got out of the habit. :(

Although, I know if I offered to bake 10 varieties of cookies, y'all would volunteer to relieve me of them. :p

[jessmarimba]

Although, I know if I offered to bake 10 varieties of cookies, y'all would volunteer to relieve me of them. :p

I loooooove cookies. I make them and freeze most, since it's just me around to eat them! There is a part of Ohio that traditionally has a cookie table at weddings - I'm going to adopt that tradition if I ever get married.

I go all out with a tree and lights and everything, because it makes me happy since I'm alone for most of the holidays. But my tree is artifical and pre-lit, the outside lights take 15 minutes to put up (as long as I untangled the lights the year before) and it's worth it to me.

And I usually pick gifts throughout the year and save them. I wrap them all and put them under my tree until I either fly home or decide to mail them.

[GLC1968]

Having a very small family and not a huge circle of local friends really simplifies things. That and having a husband who is an introvert and refuses most party invitations makes the holiday season really peaceful for us!

I will do some baking this year to give as gifts to my new coworkers (probably quick breads - cookies are too easy to sneak a few!). I haven't done Christmas cards in a few years, either. It just felt so wasteful to me. It's amazing how quickly you drop off the list when you don't send out cards for a couple of years! It makes me think that everyone does it as an obligation and as soon as there is a chance to stop, they do. I'd rather just call important friends and family members to wish them seasons greetings. But we don't have children to brag about, either, so it's easier.

Gift giving has gotten easier over the years too, but again, not having ANY children in the family makes it simple. We only exchange consumable or home-made gifts with my family. My husband has no family (to speak of) so that's a non-issue. And for each other, we use the holiday as an excuse to buy things for the house that we'd like but don't necessarily NEED right at the moment. This year, it was a new fireplace and wood stove. :)

We do put up a tree and some simple outside lights, but that's for my enjoyment more than for any other reason. I still love this season, so it makes me smile to come home to Christmas lights when it's so damn dark this time of year. ;)

[Koronin]

Gift with my family is pretty easy, either I have an idea of what to get or I ask for some suggestions, as to my sisters and my mom. (Other than my sisters and parents the only other person I exchange gifts with is my grandmother and I know exactly where she wants a gift card to, so that's easy as well).
My husband's family on the other hand, well actually it's just his one sister and her husband that we exchange gifts with and I would rather totally end that. His sister basically gives junk that typically ends up in the trash can because it's not even decent enough to take to Goodwill. I'd be 1000 times happier to NOT exchange with them at all.
As for the other stuff, never been one to do parties, ever, and I actually like to bake when I have time, so I will eventually get around to baking at least two types of Christmas cookies and maybe one candy....those typically consist of buckeye cookies/candy, themb print cookies, and a version of blossom cookies (the ones with the Hersey kiss in the center, but I make them smaller and use the small baking kisses instead).
I also like to decorate, but need my house in order first, so not a lot of decorating this year since I'm still putting boxes away from getting moved in.

[redrhodie]

I haven't done Christmas cards in a few years, either. It just felt so wasteful to me. It's amazing how quickly you drop off the list when you don't send out cards for a couple of years! It makes me think that everyone does it as an obligation and as soon as there is a chance to stop, they do.

Thank you for that. I've been looking for a reason to stop sending cards, and this works for me!

[Koronin]

I like sending and receiving Christmas Cards, however if someone does not send them back I figure they don't want them, so I don't send them to those don't send them back.

[Owlie]

I don't do parties. I love baking, so I do a few batches of cookies. (One of those has to be oatmeal cookies, and we freeze them, so they last for a while unless DBF finds them...)

I have my tiny tree that I wrapped with lights my first year of college. My family does a big tree, a second tree in the basement (I do not know why, because we don't spend a lot of time down there, but decorating it is my dad's pet project), and one little one for the table in the entry hall. My mom does a few table-top decorations and lit wreaths for the windows. We do outdoor lights too, but they're low-key and don't take very long to put up, once we've found the lights. We like it. :)

I did Christmas cards last year for close friends from college. I figure people like getting mail that's not a bill. I don't know if I'll do it again this year. Maybe for two people.

Gifts are the hard thing. DBF and I get each other something useful or consumable (often tea), and then something silly.

[Miranda]

I've cut out a TON of stuff from what I used to do years ago.

The season is suppose to be about joy. If my heart is not filled with joy in doing "it" (whatever that may be)... then I've decided I'm simply not doing it lol.

:)

[jessmarimba]

I was just thinking about this thread and the fact that my tree isn't up yet. And it occurred to me that with Dammit Cat (err, I mean Critter) and his need to play with or attempt to eat anything that isn't tied down, my tree might be awfully plain this year.

He's inside the Xmas storage box playing with tinsel as I type this... :rolleyes:

[ny biker]

I generally don't feel like my holidays need to be simplified.

I have the holiday pot-luck lunch at work, a small party with the folks on the condo committee I'm on, and maybe the condo association holiday party if I feel like going. I am not burdened by many people wanting my company. I expect to have no plans for New Years Eve, since I don't usually have anything to do other than watch TV.

I buy gifts for family members (immediate family and the cousins I am closest to) and two other people -- my trainer and one friend. I enjoy shopping and can handle the crowded mall for a day or so.

I don't have a tree because I'm always at my parents' house on Christmas. I look forward to decorating their tree every year, and of course the ornaments I made as a child are always front and center. Some years I decorate my condo with lights in the windows and a few knick knacks, some years I don't. It depends on whether I feel like it, since no one else cares one way or the other.

I don't generally bake. A couple of years ago I got the recipe for rum cake that a co-worker always brought to the pot-luck lunch after he retired. I will probably make a few of them this year, but don't feel any pressure from anyone to do it. Mostly I do it because I really like this cake.

I always intend to send out a few cards to relatives and close friends who live far away, but I never get around to it. I'm going to try to write out one per day this year so I finally get some sent out.

[Bethany1]

This is one of the few years where I'm loving the holidays. DH and I have boring lives so there aren't any invites to parties and family lives far too much for a visit. Thankfully my in-laws move to Florida during the winter so I don't have to deal with them.

I actually bought a magazine with a paper tree on the cover, cut out all the strips and put the tree together with my daughters. That was tons of fun. I love blue and silver and it came out really nice.

I got out my Cricut cutter and made a a tree box from a pattern I bought and downloaded. Glue and paper are not my friends as I've discovered. I finally had to have my kids put it together. I'm not a scrapbooker, but bought the Cricut for quilting purposes. I've spent the past two days trying to figure out why my Cougar cutter is being all growly and finally figured it out earlier so I could do some more intricate projects that the Cricut can't do.

I think simplifying means doing the things that are special to you and your family. Anything else just turns into a chore.

I love Christmas cards and wish more people sent them to me. It's so much fun to see them lined up and specially arranged. I don't even care if they are generic. I thought about making cards and realized it would be a chore and way too expensive. I'm not that crafty.

The only thing I would love is a pair of hand knitted socks. I've tried several times to make a pair with a couple of books, but keeping track of the pattern, using the needles and counting kills me. I have two wonderful blue skeins of wool yarn that I had planned to use once I really knew what I was doing. Someday I'll figure it out.

[shootingstar]

The most elaborate thing we do is preparing for Christmas dinner (on Christmas Eve) and buying presents.

I left behind my Christmas tree in another city....so hmmm. The spirit will live on in other ways.

[limewave]

We used to draw names for the big family Christmas, but the last few years we have done Dirty Santa instead--it's easier and a lot more fun! If you want to participate you bring a wrapped gift to exchange. Everyone draws a number and then you get to open gifts in the order that you drew. After the first person goes, the next person can either steal a gift already opened or open a new one. If someone had their gift stolen, they get to open another gift. After all the presents are open, we draw numbers AGAIN and the real fun begins. Everyone "steals" a gift in the order of the numbers drawn. For once, being last really pays :-)

[marni]

We celebrate Sinterklass on or around Dec. 5th with a small open house for members of the local guild we belong to as well as our few biking friends. Christmas is one or two small gifts of things specifically asked for or gift certificates. We all cook dinner together, and I always make several traditional festive foods for breakfast brunch. I don''t do Christmas cards but since I don't communicate by letter very often and a lot of my family and friends are not that into computers, I always write a New Years' letter, rehash of a few noteable events from the year.

My oldest son, who came out from Washington DC to spend Thanksgiving with us got back and commented that "Christmas had arrived and vomited all over the place over the weekend." That's about the best description I have ever heard for the sudden appearance of festive decor and how I feel about it. Of course here in stepford wives style Katy, they have been up since just after Halloween on all the public sites. But Christmas sure vomited all over the neighborhood with lights, ornaments, 20' inflatable things and 8 foot snow globes over the weekend. Where oh where are the strong winds when we really need them?

just sayin.

marni

[Dannielle]

I have to keep life simplified during the holiday season to survive it lol. I go into full on "elf mode" with my doll/toy-making business and have to let a lot of things slide.

I used to go nuts during the holidays with baking, decorating, etc but when time constraints no longer allowed for such things I actually asked my family which traditions meant something to them. It was a surprisingly short list. And there were a lot of things I had always considered essential that no one really cared about.

These days I make sure we do the things that are important to my family and I skip the rest.

[Veronica]

Our mail to list has gotten much shorter. Unless you're one of the "protected" old folk, if we don't hear from you for three years, you're off the list.

I go to Barnes and Noble after Christmas and buy marked down "Made in the USA" cards. They have a pretty good selection of these. I just buy a bunch every couple of years. I need to go again this year.

Veronica

[Crankin]

I do a few cards to people from long ago... in other words, people I don't see.
I don't celebrate Christmas and Chanukah has always been a "for the children" type of holiday for me. I hate that people have made a minor holiday into something its not, because of societal pressure. So, generally, I buy one larger present for both DSs and their spouses. It's easier than just giving something like, 4 sweaters or some smaller item. Both are bought on line, but we give it to the ones that live here in person. I send something to my dad, ordered on line. DH and I do not exchange gifts. Our anniversary is 12/8 and that's enough. I celebrate Chanukah with a small group of friends. This year I am doing it. It's latkes and usually some type of dairy spread (tuna, salads, bagels and cream cheese, and dessert). It's a pot luck, little stress. I buy these friends small gifts at locally owned stores, usually around Thanksgiving, during independent business weekend, or at one of the many local artisan shows in the beginning of December.
The only holiday parties I usually get invited to are work related. I really don't want to go this year, as I have to rearrange my client schedule, to go to a party that's at my clinical director's house, near my office, which is far from where I live. But it will look bad if I don't go. Still deciding on that. DH's company stopped doing big holiday-spouse invited parties about 5 years ago. They do a thing for employees in January.
While I sort of like the festive feeling of this time of year, I generally pay no attention to most of it. I do like New Year's Eve and if I don't go away, for nordic skiing, we go out to a nice place, or have a party where everyone brings something. It was a little different when my kids were small, as we made a big deal about the meaning of Chanukah (freedom) and helping them not feel like outsiders, especially when we lived in AZ and we were more of a minority. We do the obligatory Chinese food on Christmas Eve, although last year, we went to our closest friends' house for dinner. The past few years we have either gone on an AMC hike, or x country skied/snow shoed on Christmas Day, although a few years, it's been warm enough to ride.

[indysteel]

The flip side of this discussion and something that's been on my mind is how to develop some Christmas/holiday traditions for my husband and me that are separate and apart from what share with our respective parents. At the risk of further complicating the season, I don't want our holidays to be defined solely by what we do with our respective families. There are some challenges to that in that (1) DH's parents live 2 1/2 hours away and are not festive, celebratory people and (2) my parents live nearby and while they are a bit more festive, they (or at least my mom) is also slightly nuts. Our visits with both sets of parents tend to be short and constrained. As it currently stands, we spend alternating holidays with them. So, we went to Kentucky for Thanksgiving (drove there on Thursday and returned after dinner on Friday) and will be in town for Christmas. Next year, it will presumably be the reverse.

Thanksgiving ended up being kind of a wash. We came back early enough from Kentucky to do a bit of our own thing, including putting up the Christmas tree. For Christmas, we'll likely end up at my parents for dinner but will have the bulk of the day for ourselves. I'd like to make a nice dinner Christmas Eve and then do our gift exchange Christmas morning. If we're lucky, maybe we'll be able to get outside for a bit. We're not big on parties, so New Year's Eve is usually spent at home. I intend to do a repeat performance of last year's meal: coq au vin. Yum, yum. Champagne is in order as well.

Anyway, I'm curious as to what the rest of you have done to develop your own Christmas traditions distinct from your family of origin. I'd note that we don't have, nor do we intend to have, kids--unless you count our cats (which we do).

[ny biker]

My oldest son, who came out from Washington DC to spend Thanksgiving with us got back and commented that "Christmas had arrived and vomited all over the place over the weekend." That's about the best description I have ever heard for the sudden appearance of festive decor and how I feel about it. Of course here in stepford wives style Katy, they have been up since just after Halloween on all the public sites. But Christmas sure vomited all over the neighborhood with lights, ornaments, 20' inflatable things and 8 foot snow globes over the weekend. Where oh where are the strong winds when we really need them?

just sayin.

marni

Honestly, I'm offended by this. Just because you don't enjoy decorating doesn't mean it's okay to insult the people who do. Peace on earth, good will towards men, etc.

re: developing your own traditions, I have no traditions of my own, unless you count traveling to my parents' house for vacation every year. As a family, some new traditions sort of developed on their own as my siblings had kids. My sister usually cooks dinner for me, my parents, her in-laws, and anyone else who's around (some years one of my other siblings and their family will spend the day with us all). We used to do a Christmas Eve get-together with various family members, but it's generally pretty flexible. There's always a visit to my cousin's house for dinner or dessert at some point during the holiday week. Basically we just have the goal of spending time with the extended family but also allowing each nuclear family to do their own thing.

Some years back my mother found a recipe for "holiday french toast" in a magazine, and she now makes it every year on Christmas morning for us. So that's become a tradition, regardless of who is visiting that year and where we might be going later in the day.

[malkin]

To make a new tradition, find something you like and keep doing it!

[indysteel]

To make a new tradition, find something you like and keep doing it!

I know....but I'd love to hear how other couples/people have addressed it. In talking with friends, it seems like a lot of them struggle with how to balance what they've always done with their families of origin with developing their own thing as a new couple or family. Some of my friends have used their young children as an excuse to sort of break free a bit, but we don't have that excuse. Plus, I'd love to hear some more about what other people's holiday traditions are.

[limewave]

Most of our traditions do involve the kids, but we have a few of our own:

Making turkey sandwiches for Santa. Watching "Die Hard' while sharing a bottle of wine and wrapping gifts. . . . and eating turkey sandwiches. :p

Adopting a family or participating in Angel Tree--then shopping and wrapping gifts together.

Listening to my grandmother's Christmas albums on her 1950's record player.

Watching A White Christmas.

We always sit down b/w Christmas and New Year's and plan the races and events we want to do in the coming year. That's always fun and motivating.

A nekkid nap on the afternoon of Christmas Day. Thus thoroughly annoying DH's sisters when we are supremely late for the big In-Law Christmas gathering. lol.

Run the New Year's Day run together.

[Crankin]

DH and I made all of our traditions together, because we either A) didn't live near my family or B) weren't talking to his family :). Our friends have always been more prominent in all holiday celebrations. When I first moved back to MA, I did do Jewish holidays and Thanksgiving with my grandparents, aunt and cousins, but after my grandparents died, as the years went on, I couldn't justify the issues that being with the others brought up. This occurred mostly after my kids left home. When the kids were little and we lived in AZ, we either drove to San Diego to be with my parents (4 hours of hell) or they came to Phx. My dad has come here twice for Thanksgiving since my mom died, but he is 86, almost 87, and although he is very active, I am not sure if he'll be able to do this again. My brother lives in San Diego, and so does one of my kids, so I don't worry about him.
I love the athletic things we have developed as traditions together, like hiking or nordic skiing on Christmas, and a bike ride on Rosh Hashanah.
Really, the only holidays I like are Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day (we always made a huge deal of this in my family of origin), and Passover.

[malkin]

Some of the stuff we sort of just happened to do when my daughter was little became a tradition for her. Mainly I was just working around her dad's schedule and lack of consideration. So whenever she was home we'd open presents and eat fancy cheese plates and little tasty bits. Once we had game hens for a meal; I forgot about it, but then DD remembered and requested them and then that sort of became a tradition too.

I have a collection of Steinbach ornaments and that's about all we put on the tree now, so that's a tradition too, I guess. When the kid was little, I pretty much let her have her way with the tree, and that was pretty funny sometimes. Same thing with a gingerbread house.

I guess the main traditions are to stay flexible, try to spend time with people I enjoy and to try to enjoy people I spend time with.

I like cookies, so I usually do some.

The kid also went to a Jewish school for 5th and 6th grade. I really quite like the pyro aspect of Hanukkah, especially when we have dismal dark weather. You start with one little light and gradually it fills the world...well, especially with a menorah that is not quite wide enough for its candles--it seems like I might burn the house down in one great waxy fireball.

I guess I'm not traditional in any traditional sense.

[indysteel]

Thanks for sharing everyone! DH is particularly enthusiastic about the nekkid nap! Wonder why?!!!

[Crankin]

I also feel like I am going to burn the house down. Especially when there are 4+ candles and they all burn together. I always put foil underneath and at times I get paranoid and put the menorah in the sink :eek:. Perhaps this is why my mom had an electric menorah? Well, I could never do that.

[malkin]

At work I have a round plastic menorah that you spin and the background changes from blue to yellow, so the candle "flames" turn yellow. Perfect for my office window where even coffee pots are against policy. We routinely break the rules for birthdays, but I'm not ever there at sundown anyway.

[Melalvai]

W"Christmas had arrived and vomited all over the place over the weekend."
Ha ha, that is just what it looks like! I like a few lights and decorations, but people do go overboard. You'd like the Krampus (http://www.npr.org/2011/12/10/143485735/naughty-or-nice-krampus-horror-for-the-holidays), which is the "bad cop" to Santa's "good cop"!

[Crankin]

One of the holiday traditions around where I live, that I like, is that people only use white Christmas lights, and there are no gaudy displays of anything on lawns. This seems to be a tradition in the "historical/colonial" towns west of Boston. It's very pretty, especially when there is snow. But, outside of this area, you see the huge displays. You know, the ones where people go to "visit" the lights and block traffic for miles?
I really don't want to go to my clinic's holiday party. When I am done with my last client, I just want to go home.

[shootingstar]

I'm not sure what we will be doing here for Christmas. It is my 2nd Christmas in this city.

Probably have a nice Christmas Eve dinner at home, it's a tradition both of our families did. Menu is always different every year. Play some Christmas music which I always enjoy during Dec.

I don't have a TV. It would be nice to cycle for even half an hr. on Christmas Eve if we don't have much ice around. We'll see...:)

[jessmarimba]

One of the holiday traditions around where I live, that I like, is that people only use white Christmas lights, and there are no gaudy displays of anything on lawns. This seems to be a tradition in the "historical/colonial" towns west of Boston. It's very pretty, especially when there is snow. But, outside of this area, you see the huge displays. You know, the ones where people go to "visit" the lights and block traffic for miles?

I tried using just white lights - it's hard than you'd think, now. I use LEDs, chose "cool white" (because there are different colors of "white") and all the same brand - and they're STILL three different colors. My fence is almost purple, except for the last 20 feet which are more bluish (an extra small string to reach the end) and the lights on the roofline are much whiter. The house across the street also used white, and their lights are a different "cool" white than mine.

[Owlie]

I like the cool white ones outside, but I much prefer the warmth of the little incandescent ones inside...

We used to drive around and look at the lights in the wealthier neighborhood down the street, before the recession hit. They did (or hired people to do) some nice, tasteful light displays.

[owlice]

Resolving to wake up in one's own bed on Christmas morning simplifies the holidays in all kinds of ways, especially if one has offspring.

Traditions I like and try to keep:

eating white pizza at an Italian restaurant on December 23, with Christmas crackers and paper crowns for all (to wear during dinner in public, yes indeed!).

making and giving (especially giving) candy cane reindeer. These are great little presents that let me give something to someone else but are so little that no one who receives one feels the need to give me anything back. I love that. So I make dozens of them (with a glue gun and tweezers, I can make 6 dozen in one evening with a few holiday specials on TV) and hand them out to coworkers, the cleaning staff at work, the people in the cafeteria... lots of people.

going to a caroling party that started... 35? 36? years ago; some of the group are now grandparents and bringing their grandchildren to it. Children take turns ringing the doorbells, we sing, often in harmony and sometimes with accompaniment (guitar and/or recorder and/or percussion), and then after singing, we eat, talk, laugh.

One of the best holiday gatherings ever -- one we all still talk about -- was the ornament-making party with my friends. This had to have been ... 20 years ago? People brought all kinds of different things to use to make ornaments; the bag of shells one of the guys brought was a huge hit. Oh, the things people came up with; we laughed ourselves silly that night!! A four-legged starfish and snail shell became a trapeze artist whose trapeze had broken (yes! This is a Christmas ornament!), and I hang a small singer made out of a snail shell on my tree every year and smile, remembering that party.

I think if I were to try to build traditions now, the ornament-making party would be one to aim for, perhaps in odd-numbered years with some other kind of gathering -- caroling, perhaps -- in the even-numbered years.

[ny biker]

You know, I know that things get stressful, but I think many of you don't realize how lucky you are. If I resolved to wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning, it would mean I was spending the holiday alone, far away from everyone in my family.

Being invited to lots of parties means lots of people like you. So you have to dress up and act happy, boo hoo.

Even dealing with crowds at the stores is a good thing -- it means the economy is improving. For the past two Saturdays I've gone to a shopping mall that used to be a madhouse in the month of December. They even hire people to direct traffic in the parking area. But both days I've been there, there was no traffic, it was easy to find parking, and the stores were not that crowded. Frankly, it worries me.

Just be thankful that you have reasons to be busy and people to be busy for.

Peace on earth, good will towards men, etc.

[lph]

Just be thankful that you have reasons to be busy and people to be busy for.

Well said! I tend to stress out easily at social obligations, and can lose sight of the positive side of that. Thank you :)

[NbyNW]

I
Although, I know if I offered to bake 10 varieties of cookies, y'all would volunteer to relieve me of them. :p

Beth, I would happily do a cookie exchange with you! However, this year my baking equipment is all in storage because we are renovating.

For me, simplifying the holidays would involve not traveling back east to see family. It's just getting too hard to travel these days.

A few years ago we got snowed in, which NEVER happens in Seattle, and our flights were cancelled. Most relaxing Christmas ever!

[indysteel]

You know, I know that things get stressful, but I think many of you don't realize how lucky you are. If I resolved to wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning, it would mean I was spending the holiday alone, far away from everyone in my family.

Being invited to lots of parties means lots of people like you. So you have to dress up and act happy, boo hoo.

Even dealing with crowds at the stores is a good thing -- it means the economy is improving. For the past two Saturdays I've gone to a shopping mall that used to be a madhouse in the month of December. They even hire people to direct traffic in the parking area. But both days I've been there, there was no traffic, it was easy to find parking, and the stores were not that crowded. Frankly, it worries me.

Just be thankful that you have reasons to be busy and people to be busy for.

Peace on earth, good will towards men, etc.

I do appreciate what you're saying, but I'm not sure my own angst over the holidays has anything to do with not being appropriately grateful. The fact is that many people put ridiculous amounts of pressure on themselves and others during the holidays, and in so doing, sometimes miss the true spirit of the season. Obviously, some of the hassle of the holidays is worth it. I go out of my way to spend time with those I love; I venture to guess that most of us do. But some of the rest of it is just noise that I could do without.

I think the point of this thread was to discuss how to find balance during the season; to enjoy friends and family without feeling totally strung out in the process of shopping, baking, traveling, partying, decorating, etc., etc., I think that's a worthy discussion and one that doesn't make us into ingrates.